Most women aren’t satisfied with their man – even the successful attractive guys.  The reason is they don’t have sexual confidence – the REAL confidence that affects everything else.  I’ve put together a new course that teaches you how to get that INNER confidence, and satisfy your woman every time.

Don’t Blink

How many married women cheat on their men?  Go on, take a guess.

Well, according to surveys (and remember, these are just the wives who ADMIT it) the number is over 50%.

Wow.

With girlfriends, not surprisingly, the stat rises significantly.

And you thought YOU were bad.

Boredom – Your worst enemy

Know why?  Shocking as it may be, most women say it’s because they get BORED.

And they don’t only mean this-restaurant-again bored.

Usually, they’re talking about BEDROOM bored.

There’s a sad fact us men have to own up to: as lovers, most of us suck.

I know, I know, I can’t believe it either.

A few sad facts: most women don’t have an orgasm most of the time.  Quite a few women have entire RELATIONSHIPS without once having an orgasm.

There are even some women who go their whole LIVES without one.  Can you imagine what that’s like?

Also, can you imagine how long you’d stay with a lady if she couldn’t give YOU an orgasm?

That’s right, one night.

Women put up with it a lot longer not because it’s less important to them, but because they’ve learned to live with disappointment.

The long search for the ultimate O

Still, when they’re in an unfulfilling relationship like that, it’s not particularly strange that women would search for their sexual fulfillment elsewhere.  Hell, statistically, it’s probably happened to you – whether you know it or not.

But there aren’t enough guys who GET IT to satisfy the attractive desirable women in the world, so even the affairs are usually disappointing.

Perhaps it’s just the excitement of being naughty, perhaps the selection of men for purely sexual purposes (as opposed to relationship material), but A LOT of women get MORE sexual satisfaction from their affairs than their relationships.

Even if it STILL isn’t what they need.

See, here’s the thing.  And I’m going to be very blunt here.

Almost every man isn’t, well, a MAN.

They may look like a man.  They may talk like man (sometimes).  They may play one in their daily conversations, in their pick-ups, in the men’s room.

But in the BEDROOM, this is something you can’t fake.

Only a SUPREME sexual confidence is what does it.

Sexual Confidence

Listen, I’ve spent THOUSANDS of dollars (literally) trying to figure out the key.  I learned all the techniques possible –and a few impossible ones.  I became a master at impressing and attracting women – any woman, anywhere.

But that didn’t do it.  I mean, sure, I got to have plenty of sex with gorgeous women, but whenever I wanted…. something… DEEPER, it always fell apart.  I needed the
KEY.

After all my study and observation, months of conversations on the subject with a psychologist friend, and plenty of quality time with various types of women, I found the key.

Next level shit time

My new course, Blissnosis, is ALL about this.

It goes BEYOND anything I’ve taught before.

In the past, it was all about getting the girl.  That is OBVIOUSLY the most important first step – without the girl, you can’t get anywhere.

But if you want to KEEP the girl – or get even BETTER at cracking some of the tougher shells out there – you need to get ADVANCED.

We already know that over half of women cheat on their man. Of the rest, some won’t fool around because of strong morals, or simple resignation.

A VERY few don’t mess with anyone else simply because they ARE satisfied.

FINALLY.

The smallest percentage

A man who has TRUE sexual confidence – a kind of confidence that runs deeper than any other – you won’t have to worry about a woman drifting away from you.

She won’t be bored.  She won’t be faking.  She won’t want anyone else because, frankly, she’s probably never MET another man who has the confident presence you will.

Let alone been ATTACHED to such a man.

There are WAY more attractive and desirable women then there are men worthy of them – so most, in their heart, know they are settling most of the time.

They aren’t free to be themselves, because the men in their lives haven’t created the right environment for it.

Fantasies – an example

Women have just as many sexual fantasies as we men do – and yes, like all guys, women have some which are risqué.

But when their MAN doesn’t have the confidence and openness to tell a woman what he REALLY wants in his sex life, she’ll follow that lead.

Just one example, but a common one, and a very emblematic problem.

Truly confident men will LEAD, and the women in their lives will take on that same freedom.

Not only will you be completely OPEN, not only will you experience a wild sex life – the kind you, literally, DREAM of – but you’ll REALLY satisfy your woman.

Plus, you’ll help HER flower and experience HER fantasies.

You’ll help her become a complete person.

Become complete

But she NEEDS you to achieve this – because this sort of thing requires two people.  And you need to have the sexual confidence to take it where it goes.

How do you get this?  Check out my newest product, Blissnosis, to find the KEY that will make EVERYTHING possible.  Get any woman you want, keep her happy – happier than she’s ever been – and BOTH of you get to become more COMPLETE than you’ve ever been.  Change both your dreams to reality.

You just need to give yourself permission to become what you want to be.

You just need the key.

Derek

Questions from a reader:

My question this time relates to dealing with objections and hesitation from a woman after approaching her.  The main objections that keep coming up are:

1. “I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend.”

2. “Look, I don’t really know you.”

3. Look, I don’t really want a relationship.”
Could you please give me some ideas on what to say in these situations in order to reassure the woman and continue the pick-up?

Derek’s Response:

There is a simple truth about most attractive women: they aren’t available long.  They face a constant bombardment of passes, flirting, and general neediness in men.

Maybe only one out of a thousand guys who approach these women are going to be deemed worthy of their time – but considering an attractive woman is probably propositioned by an average of 50 guys a day, it doesn’t take very long for them to find a man.

Add in that a number of them need the affirmation of a relationship, and a number of them see being with the best of the litter – until the next guy comes along – as preferable to being alone, and a number of them are just bored, and a number of them want to have a boyfriend as a way to keep needy unworthy guys at arm’s distance, and a number of them will just say that they have a boyfriend for the same reason, whether it’s true or not… you see where we’re going here.

Finding a woman worthy of dating WITHOUT a boyfriend is the rarity, not the other way around.

Because of that, you can’t afford to simply write them all off.

Now that doesn’t mean I advocate poaching another man’s lady.  Far from it – actively breaking up a relationship is bad for two reasons: one, sooner or later you’re going to wind up VERYuncomfortable when a jealous ex comes after you: and two, a woman who trades up that easily is not the best bet for YOU going forward.

That said, very few relationships last too long, for one reason or another.  So when you meet a woman with a boyfriend, feel free to be playful and flirty and do all the other right things you’ve learned by now – but every time things threaten to get sexual, give a sly smile and draw back a bit, saying something about how bad she is, tempting you like that.

But ok, I’m getting pretty involved here; let’s step back a moment and deal with the initial “Boyfriend” comment.

The rules: be unfazed, be funny and cool with it, be, in fact, the same cool dude you’ve learned how to be, but even cooler because she now knows you’re not simply aiming for her panties.

Some examples of responses I’ve used to the “boyfriend” comment.

“Congratulations.  I have a dog, but you don’t see me bragging about it.”

“Huh? (puzzled silence)  Oh, I get it.  You’re incredibly attracted to me, and scared that I’ll cause you to be unfaithful, so you need to push me away.  It’s ok, I’m used to this.  I promise not to do anything tempting if you promise not to fantasize about me cleaning your pool.  Can’t we just be friends?”

“Me too!  (with a ridiculously overdone lispy accent)  We should double date!”

(silence, to quiet laughter, to a fun look) “You have a very high opinion of yourself, I see.  That’s good, that’s healthy.” (more quiet laughter, at which point she’ll give a playful slap to the arm)

You get the idea.  Don’t talk to her like a target – but like your sister.  Be playful, don’t be scared off, and you’ll get yourself implanted.

Then, once she’s single, she’ll remember you.  Bingo.

As for the “don’t really know you” line, I usually turn the tables with something like this:

“Yes, and I don’t know you either.  Frankly, I’m a little scared of you – I’ve already got too many stalkers to deal with.  But if you PROMISE not to follow me everywhere taking notes, I’m willing to give you a chance.”

Have fun with it.  NO ONE knows ANYONE the first time they meet, so play around with that fact.  Talk about YOUR fears to disarm hers.

And when it comes to the “don’t want a relationship” reaction, you should… wait for it… PLAY with it.

“What, you only want me for my body?  I’m tired of being seen as an object, and frankly I’m very offended.  You’ve got quite a hole to dig out from now.  I have FEELINGS TOO, you know!”

Obviously, this has gotta be delivered very tongue-in-cheek.

So what’s the over-riding theme here?  DON’T get intimidated, and DON’T act as if she’s trying to break off the conversation.

It’s all part of the game, and if you treat it that way and just go on being your charming self, you’ll do just fine with these objections, and thousands other like them.

Derek

Question from a Reader:

1. Can you give me an example of how to deal with a girl who is hesitant when you suggest something, such as going for a coffee, asking for a phone number, meeting up with you?

2. Can you suggest a way in which I can ‘interrupt’ a woman when approaching her without surprising her too much?

What I mean by this is that when approaching a woman who’s walking in the street, or is so engrossed in a book, or studying etc, there minds are already in a state where their thoughts are engaged.  So, when I have approached these women before, they kind of jolt back in a surprised way.  Is there any way you could suggest to deal with this?

Derek’s Response:

I’m going to deal with your second question first, because it’s simpler.

First, you shouldn’t think about what you’re doing as an interruption – you’re giving the woman an OPPORTUNITY.  She gets to meet you – and that should be a special thing in your mind, or else it never will be in hers.

Think about it this way: if you were out with a good buddy and he was reading but there was an attractive woman checking him out, what would you do?

Would you bring it to his attention?

Would you consider that a rude interruption?

I don’t think so.

And that’s basically what you’re doing for this mysterious studier we’ve imagined.  She’s raised the interest of an attractive man – you – and as an act of kindness you are giving her the gift of AWARENESS – the awareness that she might have a very sweet opportunity.  No woman is going to be upset if she thinks of it that way – and she’ll think of it that way if YOU think of it that way and act accordingly.

That said, shocking a woman is NOT a good way to start.

You don’t want to sneak up behind her, get real close to her ear, and whisper “hi.”  That’s just creepy.

Any sort of sneaking is generally a VERY bad idea.

So, approach her from the front.  Give her ample opportunity to see you – or at the least sense you, because she will almost certainly sense your approach with at least some part of her brain, even if she’s got her upper mind engaged in something.

Don’t speak quickly or loudly, but in a natural tone get her attention.

Start a conversation ABOUT the thing she’s engrossed in – this gives you good reason to interrupt her.  And you’ve got a natural thing going then – either she’s interested in it and will be happy to talk about it, or if it’s a chore she’ll be grateful for the break.

And lastly, when you break her reality, she’ll be temporarily without base – and that’s when she’s going to enter YOUR reality.  Make it a fun, attractive one.  If you don’t, she’s going to want to escape quickly.  If you create a good positive reality for her to jump into, she certainly won’t mind that.  At least, no quality woman will.

Now, as for dealing with resistance, there are a couple ways you can go about this.

One, you can make a joke about it.  There’s an episode of The Larry Sanders Show where he’s interviewing Barry Levinson and Barry refuses to talk about the movie he’s making.  Larry is somewhat stumped, and after several attempts he says ok, let’s talk about merchandising, which is the big thing in Hollywood these days.  So, what’re you merchandising?  Maybe if we know that, we work backwards and say ok, it’s a movie about a boy and his dog.

He gets a big laugh, and although Barry never gives up the secret, Larry endears himself to the audience and gets a big laugh.

If you make a refusal funny by working BACKWARDS to a number after a refusal, it’s usually seen as cute, funny, intelligent – and plenty of times it’ll get you the result you want.

The other way is just to be direct.  There are some women who will refuse to give out their number on the first request to ANYONE – even guys she wants to see again.

Why?  Because if you give up that easily, you haven’t got any balls, so she won’t waste her time.

But if you take out a pen and paper, hand them to her, and say something like “Just do it.  Don’t worry, I won’t LET you stalk me after I call.”  Or “Oh, what’s the matter, you don’t like having coffee with attractive men?  Ok, let’s walk through the park instead – that way you can show off your trophy date to more people.”  Or “That’s it, I’m ripping up the lease, returning the dog, and applying for annulment.  This just isn’t working out.”… get the laugh, and THEN get the number, or date, or whatever.

The key is NOT to let it throw you, but instead be direct, firm, confident, and humorous in your follow-up.  Usually that’ll be enough.

If it’s not, she’s probably got something else going on, and you should move on.

Derek

Question from a Reader:

One of the biggest problems I’ve had about approaching is NOT being able to follow up my approach, should I get a good or bad response.  Let me give you two examples that happened recently:

1.  I was in a bar and approached a group of girls all sitting down having a great time.  I said “Hello” to the girl nearest “do you mind if I join you ladies?” with a smile and looked also at the other girls.  The girl I spoke to looked at me then, went silent and looked at the girl in front of her with a bashful smile while all the other girls looked at me.  One of her friends said “She wasn’t in a talkative mood.” – now I get the impression that these girls were not ‘expecting’ to be approached but also I think I didn’t ‘follow up” properly from the opener to stop that SILENT MOMENT.  Now this awkward silent moment puts me out of state so the words don’t come out.

2.  I saw a girl walking in the street and, noticing her boots (which were brown), I mentioned “Excuse me, I was looking to buy a present similar to your boots… do you know any shops around here that may sell them?”  She mentioned that they weren’t bought locally, but also recommended a few shops.  I asked her if she visits these shops often… BUT then the conversation seemed to go pretty mundane and platonic.

Just to let you know, I’m actively applying what I’m learning in Seduction Science, your feedback and some ideas of my own into a personal plan bit by bit.

Derek’s Response:

Ok, the problem in your first scenario was NOT your follow up – it was your LEAD IN.

Your opener in this case is not good – in fact, it says a lot of the wrong things.

First, you’re asking permission.  In other words, you’re handing power over to the women, allowing THEM to create your reality for you.  NO NO NO!  NEVER do that – if you’re going to join, then join with an interesting hook that gets them curious about you.  Don’t ask permission – that’s like those people who can never ask a question without starting “Can I ask you a question?”

You just did buddy.  Annoying.

Likewise, once you address the group, you’ve joined.  Your job is to be playful and interesting enough that they don’t want to throw you out, but instead they want to keep you in the group.

Another thing: judging by your story, it sounds like you interrupted them in the middle of a vibe.  While that is occasionally unavoidable, in general EVERY group has silences, dead time, transitional moments… THESE are the times when it’s best to strike.

Enter a vibing group and jar them from their roll, you’ve done something detrimental and you’re going to have to work a lot harder to get accepted.

Enter a resting or bored group and inject some interest, you’ve done something beneficial and you’ll have a LOT more leeway to work with.

Now the second story, you start off strong – with bonus points because you picked out an article that she probably holds in high value (not bought locally = more rare and special).

The problem is you went too long, and you got too mundane.  Women are NOT going to be turned on by small talk, and they’re NOT going to want to stand in the middle of the street having a conversation with a stranger too long.

So instead, after you’ve got her talking to you, solicit an opinion.  In your case, you could ask her what ELSE would make a good present – since by her boots obviously she has tastes in line.

If you’re in the right area, you could actually ask her to take you to some of the shops she mentions – women love to shop with a guy that wants to be there.

Alternatively, you could say “You know, I find you really interesting, but standing in the middle of the street like this is a bit awkward.  Let’s go get some coffee.”

If she’s free, she’ll probably agree.  If not, you can get her information and a rain check.  Either way you’re continuing up the chain and turning the dial a bit more, step by step getting closer to your goal.

As opposed to regressing into small talk, and depressing your chances.  In fact, small talk is SO bad that, no matter how long you’ve talked and no matter what you’re doing next, if you can’t think of anything to say but small talk then instead say “Listen, I have to go, but I’ve enjoyed chatting.  Why don’t you give me your email (or phone number) and we’ll get coffee sometime.”  Then get out.

Small talk will KILL you.  Whereas appearing busy and confident will help.  You know what to do next time my man.

Question from a Reader:

Derek, when I’m at work and a cute girl walks in or comes in through the drive thru (I work at a McDonald’s by the way) what’s the best way to pick up on them without looking like I’m hitting on them.  Constantly I see these gorgeous women come in or drive through and I’m last as to how I could attract them without looking desperate or like an idiot.  Thanks.

Derek’s Response:

Ok, you’ve got three main problems to deal with.

1. Women don’t tend to think about the guy at McDonald’s as lover-man material.  While jobs don’t matter nearly as much as we guys think they do, it DOES matter a good bit when you’re trying to pick someone up AT WORK.  That’s because, instead of your job being a part of you, it is your known identity.  And McDonald’s cashier is not the sort of glamour position you want in that case.

2. Management isn’t going to like it.  This sort of thing gets people fired all the time, especially at high turnover jobs.

3. The pace at McDonald’s is FAST, and any extra conversation is going to slow that down.  A lot of people are there specifically because they don’t have much time; slowing them down with talk might just be annoying to them, and again, get you in trouble with management.

So what’re you to do?

Personally, I’d just write these women off, or at most use them as practice with your techniques, but not as actual targets.  Especially if you value your job.

However, if you insist on going for it, start with a simple super-friendly warm greeting.  If you get anything but equal warmth back, write that girl off – she’s in a hurry or pissed or for whatever reason not available now.

If you get a good response, continue with noticing something about her.  Make this go FAST – notice something, talk to her about it, and get the info in about 15 seconds.  If it takes more than that, sorry buddy, your job is going to get in the way.

So, for example “You have such a great energy.  Do you do yoga or something?”

Her: “No, but I work out.”

You: “Maybe that’s it.  You know, I really enjoy your energy.  Let’s get together after I’ve washed the stink of fry out of my hair.  Give me your number.”

While she’s writing it down on a napkin (keep a stack and some pens nearby) you can even help the next customer.  If she’s digging you at this point, you can work in a few more techniques while serving others – basically, giving her the intelligent part of your brain while your body performs rote skills.  This is good for a minute or two – it gives her a chance to see you as something other than a McDonald’s worker – but don’t go on too long.  Excuse yourself, get back to work, and if she’s eating in the restaurant, DON’T constantly glance her way.  Once to say goodbye is plenty.

Derek

 Question from a Reader:

I ordered the books and read them but I feel like the exercises are hard to remember.  Is there some technique to get rid of nervousness in less than 10 seconds?

 Derek’s Reply

First things first: you sound too MTV about all this.  “Is there some 2 second wish I can make to turn a beer gut into washboard abs without getting off the sofa?”

Yeah, right.  These things take practice.  That said, once you’re practiced, you CAN change your nervousness to confidence in 10 seconds – but you’ve got to build on PLENTY of practice to get there.

Likewise, the exercises aren’t meant to be memorized and recited for high marks.  They’re meant to be practiced – daily if you can.

Get yourself a little corner of space where you work on them.  Keep the book handy, and the teacher won’t check if you’re cheating; LOOK UP an exercise if you don’t remember it perfectly.

Then, practice it.

Repeat.

Soon enough, you won’t need the book anymore.

Keep repeating.

Soon enough, you won’t even need the exercises.  Not the full ones, anyway.

Because the thing is, these exercises implant new ideas and reactions deep in your subconscious – the hard work is getting it there, but once you have, it doesn’t take much to reawaken the seeds you’ve planted.

So, let’s take your example of nervousness.  Here’s an exercise you can do.

1. Go into a deep meditative state using the relaxation exercises from earlier in the book.
2. Allow the nervous feelings to emerge – if you can’t draw purely on the emotion, then remember a situation where you were nervous.  Focus on that feeling.  Where does it begin in your body?  How does it feel?
3. Once you have focused the feeling, bring it to the crown of your head, and then let it descend as a ball of energy to rest in your left palm.
4. Now create a different feeling… one of total relaxation.  If need be, think of a time in your past when you were totally relaxed and focus on that feeling.  Where does it begin?  How do you feel?
5. Once you have focused the feeling, bring it to the crown of your head, and then let it descend as a ball of energy to rest in your right palm.
6. Now bring your hands together and allow the balls to merge, with the relaxed feeling engulfing and swallowing the nervous one.
7. Bring yourself out of your meditative state.

As you can guess, that exercise takes more than 10 seconds.  And it’ll take more than one or two runs to take hold.

However, once you’ve got it down, your nervous feelings will actually TRIGGER your feelings of relaxation, since you’ve linked them, with relaxation as the stronger victorious emotion.

In other words, it’ll take less than 10 seconds IN THE END.  You might just clap your hands once to remind yourself of the balls mixing, and then boom, there ya go.

Question from a Reader

I’m a pretty shy guy.  What advice do you have for ‘shy guys’ such as me when the urge comes to talk to that pretty girl next to him but he doesn’t have the balls?

Derek’s Response

The first time you drove, what did you drive?

Was it a hot sports car, revved to the gills, ready to race?

Or was it the broken-down jalopy that was supposed to be thrown away years ago, but it’d been saved for this moment?

Ok, you trust fund babies aside, we ALL start on something closer to a jalopy.  You’re more likely to make a mistake, you’re more likely to GET NERVOUS ABOUT making a mistake, so you start out with something worth as little as possible.

Deal with women the same way.

If you get shy around the hotties of the world, then you shouldn’t start off with the hotties.  Because, strange as it may seem, you act like a young kid behind the wheel of a Porsche, with A LOT to lose.  Even though you don’t HAVE the girl, you still will be worrying about LOSING her from the get-go.

The answer?  Start with the jalopies of the world.

Too old.  Too young.  Too ugly.  Too… blonde, whatever.  Don’t try to talk to the girls that make you stutter and stammer, talk to women where you’ve got nothing to lose, women you’re not even ATTRACTEDto.

Talk to at least three a day for a week.

After those 21 women, you should feel a LOT more comfortable approaching and talking to women.  Once that happens, you can start talking to women you would actually like to date.  And once you’re comfortable with that, you can talk to women you find crazy hot.  And then… you’re not a shy guy anymore.

Question from a Reader

What I find hard to do is to keep eye contact with a girl I don’t know while feeling comfortable.  How did you become comfortable doing this?

I have been told by many girls that I have very nice eyes.  Many times I accidentally catch a woman’s eyes when she’s walking past, but they usually don’t seem to smile, but just have an expressionless face and then look away.  From your past experience, can you figure out what is going on here?

Derek’s Response

For keeping eye contact, try not to think about anything.  Just picture all your thoughts vanishing from your mind in a big explosion, poof, and the head’s empty.  You should be able to hold eye contact a looooong time this way, if necessary.

As far as the smiling, the question is, are YOU smiling?  Because in my experience, you tend to get an equal and opposite response to whatever signal you yourself are sending.

Smile, and she’ll smile back.  If you look at her with a blank face, she’ll do the same.  You’re cuing her – whether you know it or not, so cue her right.  Get that smile.  By giving one.

Derek

Question:

I have been applying a lot of your techniques, with success.  The only problem I am facing (and one I have had for awhile) is this:

In most aspects of life, I am very confident.  I do not have problems with reservation and generally say things that most others would be embarrassed to say.  I cannot think of any social situation where I lack confidence, except one…

The problem is, this confidence disappears when picking up women.  Most of my successes have been either when the woman has initiated conversation
, or I have started a conversation with no intention of chatting up the woman (e.g. asking for a light, time, etc.)

At this point, I am on top of my game.  I seem to have good results, which have been getting better when applying some of your techniques.

The problem is, these situations do not come up often enough.  When I approach a woman my confidence seems to sap.  I’m not on top of the game, and usually fail because of it.  I’ve more or less got enough confidence to just approach, but the lack of confidence in this situation simply destroys any chance of success.  What is frustrating for me is that this feeling does not exist anywhere else in my life, and I don’t know how to get past it.

My question is how can I transfer my personality from most social situations, where I am supremely confident, to meeting and dating women?

-Anonymous

Derek’s response:

I have some good news for you, my friend: you’re most of the way there.  Your problem is just about solved – you just don’t know it yet.

You see, MOST people in the world have a problem like this – whether they are confident on the dance floor but not the boardroom, confident on the sports field but not the dating scene, whatever – almost everyone has this problem.

And that means this problem has been worked on A LOT.  And some of the answers are quite simple.

If you lack confidence across the board, then we’ve got a lot of work to do.

But that’s not the problem here, and there are some easy quick exercises which will help train your brain to respond in a confident manner.

So first: you have no problems talking to a woman when she approaches YOU, but have plenty of problems approaching her.

What’s the core issue here?

Sounds to me like fear of rejection and failure.  When SHE approaches YOU, there’s little to no chance of that happening, so you’re fine.  When YOU approach HER but without agenda, there’s little to no chance of that happening – what sane woman won’t tell you the time?

Actually, with those little approaches you’re tricking your head a little bit – I’m betting you’re still approaching attractive women with it most of the time, and your unconscious is short-circuiting your fear response by telling your conscious mind “We just want a light.”  Then with luck you’re already into a conversation and past that initial fear – because once you cross that first approach barrier, you can be the confident social man you usually are.

So you’re already doing what you need to be some of the time – we just need to change that to ALL the time.

Alright, here’s an exercise for you:

Part 1.

1. Go into a deeply relaxed, meditative state.
2. Imaginatively enter the state you are in when approaching women and coming up with nerves.  Really go into it – picture situations, either real past events or imaginary future ones, and picture them vividly enough that you start to FEEL the feelings you have when you get nervous.  If your stomach isn’t fluttering, you need to go deeper.
3. Now, let the situation(s), states, and feelings lift out of your body and transfer into a ball of negative energy.  Concentrate on this ball, and fix it in your mind, because you’ll need it later – you might find it helpful to attach a color to this ball.
4. Come back up into a normal waking state.

Part 2.

1. Go into a deeply relaxed, meditative state.
2. Imaginatively enter the state you are in when women approach you and you are SUPREMELY confident in yourself.  REALLY go into this one – picture past successes and future ones, and make sure they are real enough that you again FEEL the feelings you have when you are having success.
3. Now let the situation(s), states, and feelings lift out of your body and transfer into a ball of positive energy.  Concentrate on the ball and fix it in your mind – if you attached a color to the earlier ball of energy, make sure you choose a different color for this positive one.
4. Come back up into a normal waking state.

Part 3.

1. Go into a deeply relaxed, meditative state.
2. Imagine both of the previously visualized states as the two balls of energy resting in front of you.
3. Imagine the two balls of energy merging in such a way that the negative ball is engulfed by the positive one.  If your positive ball was red, you should have a red ball twice as big now.  Continue to work on this visualization until your unconscious sees the two states as linked, and the positive as the dominant one.
4. Once you have a large, stable, positive ball that engulfs the negative one, bring it over your body and drop it back in – through the top of your head, down your spine, to the tips of your toes and fingers and back again, until it has circulated through every cell of your being.
5. Come back up into a normal waking state.

What’d we just do?

Well, the way you tricked your mind earlier – into thinking that you weren’t interested in a woman, thus allowing you to remain confident – we’ve tweaked it a little bit now.  We’ve convinced your mind that your negative state is PART of your positive state, and that your positive state is the DOMINANT one.  So now, the next time you feel those negative feelings, it should TRIGGER  the positive ones.

This isn’t a trick – when you’re talking about emotional states, your frame of mind is all that really matters, after all.  But it is a powerful technique for eliminating negative thoughts and encouraging positive ones – which shouldn’t be hard since you’ve already got plenty of the positive ones in place.

And as an added bonus, although it will take a few sessions before this exercise takes root, once you’ve got it started, you’ll need it less and less.  Why?  Because you’ll be having more success with women when you approach them – and the negative insecure cycle will be broken, replaced by a confident one!

Question:

This is my first year in college and I bought your course last month and have been using the techniques in it.  I did manage to meet a few girls through a friend of mine that is in a sorority.  One of the girls she introduced to me was the president of her sorority.  My first impression was that this girl did not like me.  She was very short with me, so I wrote her off.

On the first day of class this semester, I was rather surprised when this girl came over and sat down next to me in one of my classes.  We have been sitting together for the whole semester.  Through our brief conversations before class, I have really gotten to like her.  However, I haven’t had the courage to ask her out.  I’ve been trying to read her interest level.  We talk and laugh before class and smile at each other.  I thought she might be interested.

Then today she asked me what my plans were for Valentine’s Day.  I told her I was having dinner with the friend that introduced us and asked what her plans were.  She said she was just going to take it easy and relax by herself.  I thought that her interest level was pretty high since she asked me several other questions (Where do you live? What are you doing tonight? etc) so I finally mustered the courage to ask her if she just wanted to get together and study over the weekend for our exam next week.  She then replied that “she would like to” but doesn’t study well with other people, and does better on her own.  Does that mean that she isn’t interested in me, or that she simply doesn’t want to study with me?

Derek’s Response:

Wow, this question is great because it raises so many issues.

First, you got the WRONG first impression, which happens to all of us SO often.

See, when you don’t have experience with a person, you tend to think that they are ALWAYS like whatever they were like when you FIRST meet them.

And that is usually not true.  First, few of us are consistently the same person, and second, few of us are that person in a first meeting.

So you learned that in a big way – sounds like you met her on a night she was pissed about something, and as naturally happens you assumed it was about you – when in fact it had NOTHING to do with you.  You were background on a bad day.

Why is this important?  That sort of knowledge helps you to stop from TAKING IT PERSONALLY when you get a negative reaction – as it almost always has little to do with you, and more to do with the girl’s life at that time.

Now, as far as your question goes – did she say no, she doesn’t want to spend time with you?

No, she didn’t.

If I don’t hear no, I keep pursuing.  I ASSUME this person wants the chance to get to know wonderful me, unless I am given a DIRECT message that she doesn’t.  And I don’t stop until I either get her, lose interest, or am so busy with other women that I just don’t have the time.

If she gave a direct no, I’d say no chance.  But she didn’t.  Maybe she really DOESN’T like studying with other people – and as a sorority president, she’s probably pretty serious about school-related things.  There’s only one way to find out, of course – ASK HER OUT.

Look, the truth is, you’ve probably waited too long.  I’m betting that she liked you, but you never made a move, and now your chance has passed and you’ve been dumped into the ‘friend’ category.

But again, you shouldn’t be writing me and waiting for a response when I can’t see this girl and how she interacts with you – you should simply ASK HER OUT.  Do it in a playful manner.

When she asks what you’re doing for Valentine’s Day, you can say something like “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me out.  What’s kept you so long, are you really shy or something?”  or “Are you asking me out?  Wow, that’s really sudden – why don’t we have an Easter brunch first, and then I’ll think about it.”

When she says she likes to study alone, you can say “Yes, my stunning physique and winning charisma would be quite a distraction, you’re right.  Let’s get coffee instead.”

The key is ACTING on your feelings.  80% of the problems most men have is they don’t have the WILL to ACT.  Don’t ponder or get too concerned with will she won’t she – just DO IT.  The rest will take care of itself – even if this one says no, down the line you’ll get a yes.

But if you never ACT, you’ll never get anything.

Derek

There are plenty of things beyond AIDS that can get you in trouble in the dating world.  Here we’ll talk about the biggest dangers, and how you can avoid and/or short circuit them.

Other STDS

Don’t forget, of course, that HIV/AIDS is not the only thing you need to worry about.  It’s by far the most dangerous, but it ain’t alone.

Syphilis is another.  Luckily, this bad boy is pretty easy to spot – after you contract it, you’ll get a burning sensation whenever you piss.

I’m not talking about a “Ah… bit spicy, inn’t it?” sensation.  I’m talking about a “MY GOD WHO SLICED UP THE INSIDE OF MY DICK AND MADE ME PISS TABASCO AND LIME JUICE EVERYDAY?!!!!” burning.  And it’ll continue for awhile.

The bad news is, you don’t ALWAYS get the burn; sometimes, you’ll exist for years without any symptoms.  If untreated, syphilis will cause you to go mad and then eventually die.  It’s not pleasant.

The good news is, regular old antibiotics will take care of it.  Even if you contract a symptomless case, odds are good that in the ensuing years you’ll take antibiotics for some other regular ailment and spare yourself the Capone fate.

Another major thing to watch out for is gonorrhea.  This will usually cause that same burning piss – but not always, and it’s more likely to be silent in your body.  It works more quickly than syphilis, but again, regular antibiotics will take care of it.  You’ll likely remain a carrier, so bear that in mind, but you probably won’t suffer any ill effects.

If left untreated, gonorrhea will most often result in infertility, but occasional virulent strains will cause death.  When women contract the disease, they will MOST OFTEN have no symptoms, so be careful, dammit.

Of course, both these diseases operate the same way as HIV, so as long as you use that condom you’ll be fine.

Herpes

Herpes, however, does not.

Well, herpes can’t kill you.  That’s good.  In fact, about the only thing herpes can do is give you painful flare-ups of ugly sores in the affected region.

BUT, there’s no cure.  Once you’ve got herpes, you’ve got it.  There are medicines that can contain or control it, but unless you are CONSTANTLY medicated you’ll have flare-ups.  What’s more, gential herpes is the same as oral herpes – so if you’ve never had a really bad cold sore, be happy.  And avoid oral sex with those that do – because herpes has no problem going from mouth to genitalia or vice versa.

In general, if you spot open sores, avoid.  Herpes is a real pain in the ass and a major turn-off, not to mention a life-long nuisance.  Condoms will help avoid contamination, but because herpes is hardier, they alone won’t fully protect you.  In fact, unless your partner is actively taking suppressants, there’s no guaranteed way to keep yourself clean once you’re getting down and dirty.

In general, I see sores – or scars from sores – and I’m out the door.  Luckily, when herpes is in a dormant period – no flare-ups – you probably won’t get it.  Not guaranteed, but you’ve got a good chance.  So just avoid the sores, wear that rubber, and you’ll probably be fine.

Cut that Static Cling

Now, there is a greater risk you run with your new-found powers of seduction – what I like to call the Rabbit Risk, after Fatal Attraction.

The woman you don’t want to see anymore, but she just won’t let go.

The problem is, most of us guys are, at heart, decent people, and we don’t enjoy going around stomping on hearts.  In fact, most of us avoid it like the plague.  Not only do you often feel rotten about yourself, but what a scene!  Usually quite ugly and unpleasant.

So what do you do when you’ve attracted a woman, maybe fooled around, but you want to move on and she just won’t let you?

The best solution, of course, is careful screening BEFORE you hook up with a chick.  I usually make jokes about her stalking me in the early going and watch her reaction.  Most ladies will laugh and defend themselves, but every once in a while you’ll get a woman who’ll say “No, I’d never do that.  But oh-my-god, my last boyfriend, he was like so mean and I wound up burning down his apartment and hanging a teddy bear outside the door with the eyes torn out, it was so funny (crazy jittery laughter).”

RUN MAN RUN.  I don’t care HOW hot she is, you don’t need that kind of shit in your life.

But there are plenty of non-psychos who’ll just wear thin from general clinginess.

How You Can Get Out

The key to losing them?  OUTCLING.

Everything you’ve learned here, reverse it.  Don’t be playful and fun – be sentimental and sappy.  Call often – WAY too often, hopefully while she’s busy at work – and NEVER be the one to end the conversation.  Make her get rid of you.

Time and again.

Never choose what you’re doing for your activities – ALWAYS say something like “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”  Watch her get all pissed off at you, but still make her make the choices.

Talk often about your perfect future together.

Write long sappy odes that go nowhere about your emotions.

Send many emails of the annoying sort, the kind which say things like “I was making coffee and I remembered the time we had coffee, so I wanted to write you.  Bye.”

Whine about not seeing her more.  Don’t complain – WHINE LIKE A BABY WITHOUT A TOY.

In short, do all the things that drive you MAD about this kind of woman.

Now be careful here – if you’ve got yourself involved with some desperate conservative girl who’s inexperienced and looking for a husband, she might be into this, and then you’re in BIG trouble.

But with almost all women, this kind of behavior is going to be a MAJOR turn-off.  She might start letting the machine pick up more often (leave messages like the coffee email), she might stop promptly returning your calls, and then one day she’ll say something like “Listen, can we talk?  You’re a great guy and all, but…”

Bingo.  Mission accomplished.

Trust me, if you devote yourself to the wisdom inside these pages, one of these days you’ll need this advice.  Because you’re going to be one hot commodity, and you’re not going to have time for all the girls who want to spend their time with you.  And some won’t get the hint.

Oh, one other pitfall – the How’d I End Up With A Girlfriend? Conundrum.

Keeping it Casual

If you’re looking for a girlfriend, hey, no worries.  But if you’re keeping your options open or trying to play the field or just looking for some fun while coming out of a long relationship, then you might have problems.

ESPECIALLY coming out of a relationship, because unconsciously you’re going to behave like you’re in a relationship with the next girl, whether you want to be in one or not.

So what’s the key?  Aside from honesty about your intentions (which is a MUST and will defuse a lot of situations before they get started), you need to watch your contact.

Hey, the girl might be all into the sex friend thing right with you, but if you’re seeing her every other day, then she’ll switch into relationship mode, even if she doesn’t want to.

I find if you keep yourself to once-a-week face time – and two or three short emails/phone calls setting things up – you’ll be able to stay in that happy no-strings sex area.  Much more than that, and you’re creating a HABIT of being together, and habits die hard.

Derek

Clean is good; squeaky clean, not so much.  Sometimes you’ll want to have an edge to your personality.  Some of the times I’m MOST attractive is when I’ve got a hangover and just don’t give damn.  Capture that spirit, full of sarcasm and edge, and you can be the Motley Crue bad boy dating the Pam Andersons of the world – without all the stuff those bad boys usually bring to the table.

A different kind of attraction

Something to remember: clean does not always mean clean-cut.

Smelling bad is always a bad thing, but looking less than crisp can work to your advantage.

In Japan, there are men who spend four hours making their hair look the perfect kind of disheveled.  In Europe some guys go days without bathing – as a way to attract women, believe it or not.

I don’t suggest either of those extremes, but there is something to being outside the norm, the rebel appeal.

Think about it: why do bad boys get so many ladies?

The Appeal of the Rebel

Simple: they do what they want.  They are independent, leaders (even if only of themselves), don’t give a shit what others say about them and THAT is what’s attractive.

Trust me: it isn’t the fact they’re abusive, but women will sometimes put up with all sorts of crazy awful repercussions IF the James Dean attraction is strong enough.

Perfect example, from one of Dean’s movies: he’s sitting with a girl who’s got a stump for a leg.  Everyone dances around it, is uncomfortable with it, tries not to notice but their body language says they’re thinking about nothing else.

Dean sees it, and immediately asks about it.  He’s direct and to the point, asks how it happened, if he can touch it.

The other people all are apologizing for their forward friend and his rudeness, but the girl with tears in her eyes says it’s alright.  In fact, it’s better than alright – it’s honest and, for once, comfortable and exactly what she wishes everyone else will do.

THAT, my friends, is the attractiveness of the bad boy.  He’s so REAL.  He says what others think, he acts while others wish.  He takes his destiny in his hands, instead of reacting to what fate throws at him – but, in the best of cases, continuing to listen to the world and acting in a way that fits his path.

The Look

Whoa, deep shit, but even though it’s often unspoken (and the fact a bad boy doesn’t need to verbalize and justify himself is attractive in and of itself), THIS is the shit that women go crazy for.

So, how do YOU capture some of that magic?

Well of course, acting playful, confident, and unafraid helps to achieve the same thing.

But since we’re talking about appearance, you KNOW you don’t want to look straight out of a J. Crew catalog.

Stubble.  A few days without shaving makes a powerful visual impression.

Leather.  I’d advise against red shiny vinyl pants (unless you KNOW you can pull it off – it’s like the thong for men), but a nice leather jacket is always sexy.

The Way

Devil-may-care.  The attitude is so important here.  Intense, yet entirely relaxed (especially about the little things, which are so unimportant the most they’ll elicit is an eyelid-twitch).  When you talk to a girl, it’s because something about her legitimately INTERESTS you.  Skip small talk.  Converse on insights into her soul, and the soul of the world.

There should also be a hint of danger in you.  Not that you go starting fights or beating people who displease you – rather the danger that comes from not caring about niceties, and not caring if that seems rude to some people, and not caring about the consequences of your perceived rudeness.

Your hair is unkempt.  Your eyes glint.  You NEVER lean in unless it’s to make a point.  When you talk to someone, you stare into their eyes like you see through them, and NEVER look away first, never look away at all unless you feel that segment of conversation is over.

Plenty of directness.  There’s no tricks to you, and subjects which others avoid you go straight into with the burning of curiosity about the world.

Don’t be Intimidated by her Intimidation

Now this kind of approach will intimidate most women.  That’s fine – in fact, when you see her getting scared, TALK directly TO THAT POINT.  OBSERVE a lot, and don’t be scared to say things like “I see I’m making your uncomfortable.  You aren’t used to strangers being this direct, are you?  And that puts you ill at ease, but at the same time, it interests you, doesn’t it?”

The question clause is a pretty useful thing here.  You should either make direct statements, or attach a question clause like “…, doesn’t it?” so you give her an opening to comment on your remarks.  Statements as facts are best, but if you’re worried about offending her by telling her who she is (strong people in general don’t like that), then the question clause gives both of you enough wriggle room to avoid confrontation.

In fact, unlike the traditional bad boy, avoid confrontation.  Say you say something like “You’re a very shy girl.”  And she responds “No, I’m not at all.”  You can be playful and suggestive in your response, but if you want to play the bad boy image to the hilt, you pause, search her face intensely, then say something simple like “Ok.” and move quickly to the next subject – or leave a long pregnant pause, like you’ve got something to say but you’re not sure if she’s ready to hear it.

Get Her Head Spinning

This is brilliant because it leaves her guessing.  Did he say ok because he agrees with me?  Or did he say ok because he doesn’t want to argue about it?  What did he just see?  Is it something I can see myself?  Does he think I can’t HANDLE what he sees?  This is a wonderful hook to get her thinking more about you, your insights – and the hidden parts of herself that you might be able to bring out.

And the other great thing about this is, in truth, we ALL have EVERY characteristic somewhere in our souls.  If you hit on one that isn’t readily apparent or seems contradictory to her image of herself, you can slowly play with it and discover exactly WHERE she has that trait.  Because she has it somewhere, and if you’re with a strong brave chill girl, she’s going to want to see what you see in her.

A Little Dab’ll Do Ya

Again, be cautious with this bad boy profile – DON’T be a bastard with it (even if it might work, you’ll hate yourself eventually), and DON’T use it too much on the more timid or vapid.

But if you use it on the right women, suddenly you are strong AND sensitive, a leader AND a listener, someone with insights AND searching questions.  You are the most intriguing man she’s ever met.  And she’ll want to know why.

Derek

You know it’s not that important – but it still counts for something.  Let’s take a moment to talk about what you should do to make yourself look good.

First Impression?

When it comes to attraction, a lot of people would think you’d talk about appearance first off – after all, it’s the first thing you see, your first impression, first everything starts at the skin.

I hope you’re not one of them anymore.

As you probably remember, much more important (and equally instantaneous) is body language.  If you’re ugly as sin’s deformed sister you can still overcome that with the way you carry yourself, with confidence.

However, having said all that, appearance does still count for something.  Not much – there’s a good reason it’s at the later part in these posts – but definitely something.  It can mean the difference between almost and alright, between a first glance and a double take, between “umm… ok” and “Yes, yes, oh god yes!”

Luckily, looking good doesn’t mean looking like Johnny Depp – not that it won’t help, but it’s also overkill.

So what DO you need?

Right Next to Godliness

First, be clean.  We’ve talked about this before, but as it’s the most important thing, it bears repeating.  Women have better noses than men; most people can’t even whiff themselves since they’re accustomed to their own smell; result: most men stink when smelled by most women.

So, find yourself a good deodorant.  Experiment a bit: I tend to steer clear of anti-perspirants since they’ll end up staining your shirts yellow, whether you sweat or not.  I’m a fan of the crystals, as they do the same thing without the stains (though you’ll need to give it a few weeks to be effective).  If you want a pleasant smell, a spray-on body deodorant is a good choice.

Brush and floss like a madman.  What your mom taught you, yeah, that’ll keep your teeth healthy – but it’s not going to give you fresh breath.  MOST of the smell that emanates from your mouth resides on your tongue and the roof, so brush them just as hard as the rest of your mouth – and cover every inch.  It’ll take a little more time, but PLENTY have women have liked a guy, but just couldn’t bring themselves to kiss a mouth that smelled like… THAT.

Don’t smell like that.

If you smoke, quit.  Hehe, easy say easy do, right?  Listen, I know it can be tough – but A LOT of women will just write off all smokers.  Not to mention it’ll ruin all the brushing you do, stain your teeth, age your skin, and stink up your fingers.  Not every woman will care – but are you ready to say goodbye to all the women who will?

Besides, in my experience the possibility of a painful death in 30 years isn’t as motivating as the possibility of a lonely night tonight.  Just quit.

And How Far Did YOU Run Today?

Exercise.  You don’t need to be buff enough to grate cheese on your stomach, but just be in decent shape.  In fact, most women go for a nice solid average more than the fat, the skinny, or the muscle-bound.  Lean is nice, hard is nice, but a simple healthy is enough.

The Snack Diet

Eat often.  By which I mean, if possible, five times a day.  Yep.  Five.  This whole three meals thing, it’s a product of the industrial age and the switch to factory schedules.  Much MUCH better to eat smaller meals often.  Why?

The less often you eat, the more likely your honed-since-the-stone-age body will think food is scarce – meaning it’ll store as much as possible in the form of fat for later.  Eat often, and the body thinks it’s got plenty – so no fat.  Even if you eat more over those five meals than you would in three, you’ll still come out ahead.

Don’t eat before you sleep either – at least two hours before.  Now, if you’re a skinny guy – reverse everything I just said.  Sumo wrestlers eat two huge meals a day, and take a nap right after.  If you can’t put on weight no matter how much you eat, try it.

And you don’t need me to tell you to watch what you eat.  Veggies, good.  McDonald’s, bad.  ‘Nuff said.

What else is important?  Smile!  You don’t need to have sparkling white teeth – a simple smile is enough to improve any appearance.

There’s a reason we call it dressing UP

Finally, style.  If in doubt, dress up.  If everyone else is in t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers, and you’re in slacks, a nice shirt, and loafers, you stand out.  In a good way.

Crisp is good.  Lose the sneakers – women tell a lot about a man by his shoe, and sneakers say ‘kid.’  Now, if you’re wearing some dress shoes, it says class.  If there’s a hint of money in your clothes, all the better.  Again, not that money is a deciding factor – many of the most successful seducers I know are broke.  But, it can’t hurt.

Really, it’s all very basic.  Take care of yourself, look after your body and treat it with the respect it deserves, and women will respond to that act more than the body itself.  THAT’S what you’re really communicating – a way of being, not of looking.

Derek

More girls, more places, more more more!

Camera Pick-Up

This is different from the more advanced camera technique, in that it’s about meeting a girl using your digital camera.

There are a couple variations, and they can work just about anywhere – although bars and scenic spots are best.

The first way, you offer to take a picture of a group of ladies to take a shot of some ladies setting up for a photo and trying to figure out who to ask.  You know the situation.  So now you’ve got confidence and a sparkle of gallantry going for you.

Now you want to have some playful conversation – like the previous technique, you set them up a bit, move them around, perhaps slightly hands-on, but not too much, and only in a natural I-do-this-with-everyone way.  After you take the first shot, make a joke about the faces they make, have them do it again.  Get them laughing and enjoying themselves – this works especially well in a tourist spot with ladies just out having a good time, no schedule.

Learn a little bit about what they’re doing, find out their next plan.  If they don’t have one, invite them along to join you.  If they’ve got an idea, nothing works better than “Yeah, that’s a nice spot… but I know a better one which isn’t in the guide books.  I’m actually heading that way soon, if you want me to show you the way.”

Or, you can take it a whole different direction, and ask THEM to guide YOU.  If you’ve made them laugh enough during the photo shoot, they’ll likely invite you along.  If not, say “I know (or heard about) this great place to grab a coffee and relax.  I’m going there at 4 – why don’t I meet you there?  Lots of good restaurants and bars for later in the evening in the area too.”  Odds are they’ll be more than happy to join you.

Second technique, same as the first, but get one of the ladies to snap your picture – then offer to do the same for them, get playful conversation going from the start.

REMEMBER, EVERYTHING hinges on having a lady enjoy her time with you.  These techniques, they’re just openers to get the ice broken – your success is entirely about your banter and playful aura - creating attraction.  These are great ways to open a lady or group, but you’ve got to know what you’re going to do with them BEFORE you start to have a chance to bring it further.

Ok, the third and most advanced version is to ask a girl to take a photo WITH you.  This gives you an excuse to give her a squeeze, get a kiss on the cheek (girls love this, although they usually resist at first), strike a funny playful pose – and of course come up with an excuse why the first one isn’t any good and you’ve got to do it again.

NOTE: Don’t overdo the retakes – once, maybe twice, they’re fun.  More than that, and you seem like a clingy guy who can’t think of a better way to hold her attention.

One More Question Pick-Up

This is something you use for a woman who’s got a huge wall that she just refuses to lower.  Every time she brushes you off, say “Ok, I’ll leave you alone, but real quickly let me just ask one more question…” and make it as funny, fun, and playful as you can.

The trick here is to slowly melt away her guard.  If you pick your targets carefully, you should see her gradually warming to you   Her protests should get more feeble, and at the end she might say something like “You’re fun, but I’m REALLY running late now and I’ve GOT to go.”

No problem.  Set up a rendezvous and she’ll be all yours.

Again, be careful with this technique.  If you’re using it and the girl is getting more and more frustrated and curt, cut your losses and run.  Pull this with the wrong lady – and the wrong lady might just mean someone having a shitty day – and all you’ll do is piss her off and provoke some nastiness out of her, as she’ll believe it’s the only way to get rid of you.  Choose wisely friends, because this is a POWERFUL technique – there are only two ways to get out of it, which is to give in or to fight, so don’t use it all the time, and don’t use it to create a fight.

Palm-Reading Pick-Up

You probably already know enough about this one you don’t need much more tutoring, but one key to remember:

After you know a few basics, you can casually drop your skills into a conversation and have the girls asking YOU to read them.  Study for awhile, hold for awhile, just like the training says.  Then say “Hmm… I see something interesting about you here.”
She’ll immediately ask “What?”

“I don’t know if I should tell you…”

“What is it?  WHAT?!!”

Now answer with something easy and generic, and she’ll start filling in the gaps.  Agree, and talk more about what you see in relation to what she’s telling you.  This is exactly what the pros do, and she’ll believe she’s got a spiritual guru holding her hand.  Not a bad start, eh?

Bookstore Pick-Up

This is easy – and fun, because you often get an intelligent class of woman in bookstores.

Hang out in the sections women are often in – this includes new age, sex, romance, art…

Notice what the girl is reading – and say “(Book title).  I was interested in that book – is it any good?”

She might ask why you’re interested in the book, and you can say “Well, I’m interested in that subject area.”  Guess what – so’s she!  Now you’ve got a topic to talk about at length, and from there you can easily shift to the bookstore coffee shop or a nearby one.  Works like a charm.

Derek