I want to talk a little bit about internal state today, specifically what you do when you’re out of state.
When you’re at a club, internal state is everything. How you feel will completely determine what kind of reactions from women you’re getting.
Most people are walking through life with their internal state a 4, 5, or 6 out of 10 – pretty neutral at best.
In the club however, you want to be feeling like a 10 – happy, smiling, ecstatic, euphoric, and a little sexual and cocky.
Because if you’re feeling great inside, it’s like a magical healing power that touches everyone around you and women can just feel it, and no matter how you open them they’ll open right up to you.
Sometimes you walk into a club though and you’re just not feeling too hot. You’re feeling anxious, unsure, or just out of place.
15 minutes pass and you haven’t talked to anyone and suddenly you feel even worse, like you know you should be doing something, but you’re just standing there. You start to think to yourself, “Fuck!”
But if you’re feeling blah inside, don’t try to fight the bad feelings.
When you try to fight off negative feelings, you remain with them. If you’re fighting with them, you’re still clinging to them.
Instead, let that crappy state be there. Just accept it. “Yes I’m feeling blah, I just accept it!” That is the first step to letting it go and letting it pass.
If you just relax and allow yourself to simply be there without any goals or objectives, the negative feelings will slip away with a little time.
The negative feelings will flicker in your mind, try to attract you, try to make you resist them; but you don’t allow them any of your mind.
Instead, accept them.
Let go of trying to “change” your feelings.
Let go of “getting into state”.
Just be okay and present with the moment. Don’t try to wish anything were different or hold any goals or objectives. Let all of the goals and objectives go, let them go completely.
With a little time, once you feel relaxed, you’ll begin to feel a little happiness for no reason at all.
Can you begin to smile, for no reason at all? It may feel strange and unusual at first. Hell, you may look like a smiling goof, smiling at no one and nothing in particular, but can you smile for yourself, not to try to impress anyone, but so that you feel nice inside for YOURSELF?
Can you look into the sets of girls – the sets you were planning to approach but didn’t – and just feel HAPPY and JOY for them instead of feeling jealous or wanting to be in their sets?
Can you feel joy that at least the girls and other guys there are smiling and laughing and having fun, that someone in this poor world is smiling and laughing, and having fun? 
My challenge to you is this: when you are “out of state”, stand there and have total acceptance of it. Don’t try to overcome the feelings, fight them, or get worked up about them. Just accept them.
Let go of your goals and objectives for the night. Forget about them. Let them go.
Then you’ll relax. Then you’ll start to have good feelings again. Think nice thoughts, feel deep joy for the others in the club, and put a big smile on your face at their happiness.
Feel good for no reason; feel good for the happiness of others. Meditate your feeling of joy from a 5, to a 6, to a 7, to an 8 or 9 or even a 10! :lol
Feeling the right feelings, and letting go of objectives is the first step to becoming a Natural.
Even if you leave the club not having approached girls, you were at least smiling and in state. You were making others feel awesome and giving others value and positivity just with your energy.
And when you’re starting out, that’s how you measure success.
Your friend,
Jesse - Contact me or Leave a comment
Very powerful speech Derek…It kind of filled me with lots of energy. Most of the time when we’re out in anight spot hunting high quality women, we tend to put too much pressure on our self by overfocusing on our objectives of the night then suddenly become tense and frustrated.
And I think this idea of letting go is the right antidote to being out of state…Once we really let go we become free to act, to play, to enjoy the moment without any expectation at all, we just let things happen by not trying to control the outcome.
Letting go does sound like a very simple or weak thing to do but once done right, it happens to be very Powerful.
This speech is my motivational food of this week.
Congrats Derek! Fantastic new header image and tagline.
and really appreciate your sharing your wisdom.
,___,
(o,o)
{`”‘}
-”-”-
Awsome post
Hello
I’ve always had a problem with talking to beautiful women and at age 55 I still get the mental block and the tongue tied effect. When you go to a night club you’ll probably see me there holding up the wall or sitting by myself. I watch guys come into a club and right away they’re hitting it off with the ladies and that would make me feel very depressed and I’d think to myself way the hell I can’t do that? So, I’d go home never talking to any ladies that night and being mad with myself. I remember going to a crowded night club many years ago. I found an empty table to sit at and a little while later about three ladies came over to me and ask if they could sit there too of course I said yes and that was the end of it. I wouldn’t talked to them it was like they weren’t even there. I’d just watch the crowd and seeing others having a good time so after a while they would get up and leave or I would leave kicking myself in the butt all the way home for not doing what I planned to do and that’s picking up a beautiful lady and getting laid!!
really…your posts are boring. they’re useful though. i wish you lots of happiness and a healthy dose of respect.
if you listen to usher so “if i want to” that could get you in the right state. have a listen to it tell me what you think.
so much better!! like 50cent says in the windowshopper,derek things r so much better for me!!am feeling this sense of calm confidence while building sexual connections on phone with my new catch..then there was this time she was probably testing me, “you know i think your younger brother is way sharper than you?’ i was like like “you’ve just known that?i didnt know you are that slow,you suck!” she burst out laughing loud.i realised not accepting as part of your reality was the tool i used here and it worked like magic.dont allow any comment from a chic to dent you.there and then she told me she’s very much available for a date over the weekend…well..
Nice comeback Malcolm!
Mattostar, I spent a few months learning Japanese… what a bitch of a language! Not too into Japanese girls myself though. How are things in Hungary though? I was there for a few days but don’t remember seeing any girls there during the daytime anyway.