Now a lot of men have phobias of clubs and bars – bar anxiety. After all, bars tend to be dark, noisy, and full of strangers we don’t know. The thing is, that’s where a lot of attractive, single women hang out, so it will only help you to get use to be being at a club or bar without bar anxiety.

Because despite the lights, darkness, and noise, the reality is you’re really in a safe place. The lights, darkness, and noise is little more than an illusion which you can get use to.

In this exercise to get over bar anxiety I want you to visit a dance club or a bar. Go alone. Remember, when you get there, you don’t need to talk to anyone or do anything. The purpose is just to become comfortable. Relax. Don’t look for, hope for, or expect eye contact from anyone in particular. Just let whatever happens happen.

If you’re not use to a club or bar and you have bar anxiety, your first response may be the flight or fight response. In the military, they train special operation forces that in highly stressful situations, it’s not an either-or flight or fight option. That just because you feel anxiety doesn’t mean you must choose between two options which is the reptilian part of your brain reacting.

Instead, just relax, breathe, and allow yourself just to be. Your attitude should almost be as if you’re the owner of the club and you’re just going there to watch over the people and make sure they’re having a good time.

Stay at the club for at least an hour, just relaxing, noticing the types of people there, noticing how they’re acting, and who’s comfortable and who’s not. Keep in mind becoming comfortable in this kind of setting may take you a number of repeated visits.

  Your friend,

  Jesse - Contact me or Leave a comment