Most guys are going out motivated and driven by fear.
Anxiety about what the girls will think of them…
Frustration that they’re not making a girl fall in love…
Neediness for approval…
Desperation to control every aspect of the situation…
Head in the past about what might happen again…
Judging how hot a girl is or whether she looks approachable…
Fear about of the pain at what might go “wrong”…
All these emotions stem from FEAR, feels painful, and throws a negative energy to the girls. When fear is your driving force, you end up taking no action at all to avoid feeling pain. But that’s not really living.
You need to flip your script – and instead meet women coming from a place of LOVE.
Love is secret Ingredient X of pick-up… Happiness to be alive, whatever reactions you might get.
Gratitude at the opportunities, whatever girls might be there.
Dancing to the fun music, whatever sour face someone has.
Feeling Sexual by absorbing the sexual energy of the room.
Letting others eat the sushi platter of LOVE and good FEELINGS and your SMILE off your chest… giving FREELY and OPENLY to women and men and everyone in the room, expecting nothing in return.
Yes, you can feel happiness and fun and joy WITHOUT a hot girl on your arm and WITHOUT even speaking to anyone!
It seems impossible – how can you feel the party vibe and be smiling and dancing and happy and excited in a bar or club or party without having girls or friends around you?
Can’t you can play sports without a bench of cheering fans?
Can’t you sing walking along the street without an audience?
So why can’t you enjoy yourself at a party, singing, laughing, smiling, clapping, bopping, dancing… without a girl?
You may think you can only give out good energy and feel happy when there’s a girl there approving you, giving you validation.
But you could be sitting alone in your room, radiating great energy, like you’ve just won the lottery, feeling happy, for no particular reason.
Instead of motivated by fear, you can be giving feelings of LOVE like happiness and joy – giving gifts of smile and good energy freely to others with no expectations of something in return.
In the beginning it can feel unusual because you start thinking, “Um I’m feeling good for no reason… am I delusional??” because you’ve always been taught that you can only feel good when you buy new clothes or a girl smiles at you. You’ve been taught that you need outside validation to feel good inside.
But you can create happiness and joy and sexual energy and give out love-based feelings from within YOURSELF. That fantastic energy that you create on your own is the real power, the real source of capacity, and you’ll find that women near you will be suddenly drawn to you, suddenly grabbing for a piece of that magic you’ve found that remains so elusive to them.
When you’re feeling fear, nothing will seem to go right because you’re coming from the wrong place.
When you’re motivated by love – a love for women, a love for the moment, a love for life, a love for good feelings, a love for sharing your good feelings – just talk to any woman and she’ll feel happy for no reason at all.
Your state will draw her into state, and if your state is powerful enough it will overwhelm her and she’ll cling to you for more of it. What you’re giving her is a great gift.
So bring the deserts, bring the chocolate cake, bring the ice cream, bring the wine, bring the flowers to the party, bring the dancing, bring the celebration, bring it all from a place of Love – and people will want to join in YOUR party.
In addition, feeling a sense of Gratitude can really help you out with dating women.
Having “problems” is good. Imagine if you went to the gym and there were no weights there. How would you be able to grow stronger, better if there was no resistance to go up against?
If you have a sense of gratitude you’ll go to the gym and instead of thinking, “Oh man I have to do this” you’ll to say to yourself “Yes, resistance, now is the time to improve myself to get better to get healthier!”
Likewise, you go out to the club, you’re just not feeling it, you’re not in a good state… there’s no reason to sulk or feel negativity about the resistance, have some gratitude. Alright a challenge, resistance, the weights that will build my muscles, Yes, this is what life is about!
So where everyone else is feeling upset, you’ll be feeling inspiration, joy. :lol
With a sense of gratitude, meeting resistance in going out and attracting women is not a problem for you, instead you’ll be happy about the opportunity to try again.
Hell, because lots of famous people who have achieved “everything”, they have money and girls and a big house, well they’re extremely unhappy, addicted to drugs, or passive entertainments or addicted to getting validation and approval… and then there are other people who have very little and they seem to have to a lot of big problems and yet they’re quite happy.
And the difference is gratitude. Gratitude makes you wealthy right now, it allows you to flood yourself with good emotions. Gratitude means you’re no longer coming from a place of scarcity but a place of abundance and opportunity.
I’m out of state- oooh resistance– wait, this is an opportunity! I didn’t approach the girl… ooh resistance, another opportunity to get inspired to improve, to lift those weights… I didn’t follow through an interaction… resistance… perfect! That will just feed my drive further.
Or I could be whining, “Uh uh oho… life in unfair…”
See when you are grateful, you are rich. And when you’re ungrateful, no matter how much money you have or success with women you’ll feel like you have nothing in your life.
You have to realize that your average person today has a life greater than the greatest kings or Pharoahs at any time in human history. They didn’t have the level of cleanliness we have today, or the wide choice of foods, or the ability for a few hundred dollars to jump on an airplane and just be in some other part of the world a few hours later. Back then if you got sick they’d put some leeches on your body, and that’s if you were part of the upper class, and you’d often just get sicker and die. And if you lived a long life your teeth would certainly be rotted out.
So we do live in incredible times and we do have a lot of opportunities, in fact most of your challenges and struggles and maybe negativity you feel are simply the call to adventure, to act, to seize this resistance as an opportunity for inspiration and change.
One way you can express gratitude is just thank the situation around you. Yeah I don’t like my job, but I thank you for giving me this lesson I need to learn today. I thank you for giving me this resistance to push up against and become better. This girl didn’t give me her number… but I thank her for whatever lesson I needed to learn in this moment, I thank her for giving me the resistance I need to grow and become better.
So cultivate that sense of gratefulness, a sense of abundance, a sense of opportunity, and you’ll just be a happier person all around and girls will feel that. They will gravitate to that because they’ll be wondering… why is this guy so happy- is he rich, is he handsome, is he famous, what’s he got going on? And they’ll want a piece of it, they’ll want to be around you.
So make that change in your life today, cultivate that sense of gratitude.