1. Drink Less Alcohol
For the first drink or two, alcohol can relax you and free you from your social inhibitions. As you digest alcohol, your body produces the hormone dopamine which gives you a sexual boost and fuels your sex drive.
For this reason a lot of men mistakenly ’s try to seduce women at the bar by getting them drunk – or get drunk themselves.
Unfortunately, after just one or two drinks alcohol interferes with your erections and your ability to orgasm. Alcohol causes your testosterone levels to drop and with 4 or 5 drinks, most men lose their ability to have an orgasm completely. With prolonged use over years, alcohol permanently damages the nervous system causing you to feel less in your penis. Alcoholics have a high rate of erectile dysfunction for this reason.
So to drink or not to drink? A glass of red wine or champagne in the bathtub with your lover can loosen both of your inhibitions and give your sex drives a small boost. However, under no circumstances should you have multiple drinks. And if alcoholism runs in your family, you should stay away from drinking completely.
2. Kava Kava
If you want to stay away from alcohol to loosen yourself or your lover up, try Kava Kava. Like alcohol, Kava Kava has a calming effect. But unlike alcohol, it won’t make you feel sleepy, impair your mind, or make it hard to orgasm – claming the mind without impairing the body. Kava Kava relieves anxiety and produces something of euphoric state. And unlike alcohol, you won’t develop a tolerance.
As of this writing, Kava Kava is available for sale in the United States, but it may be pulled from store shelves soon as an extremely small percentage of people have reported negative side effects.
Yohimbe has been used in Africa for thousands of years to improve sex drive for men and harden erections (it has no obvious effects of female sexual desire). What it really does is improve blood flow to the penis and pelvic area. Yohime, reportedly, also helps with mild erectile dysfunction. However, the results are not dramatic and many people do not tolerate it well.
If you do decide to try Yohimbe, keep in mind it can have some serious side effects. Too much of it can cause sweating, nausea, sleeplessness, anxiety, increased blood pressure, or faster heart rate. It has also been loosely associated with kidney failure and seizures.
With safer alternatives such as Ginko Bilboa and Ginseng, there’s no reason to take Yohimbe if you want to play it safe.
4. Take Multi-Vitamins
You should take a multi-vitamin every day to increase your sexual performance and stamina. You don’t need an expensive brand name like Centrum – non-brand multi-vitamins are just as effective.
Here’s how the different nutrients affect your sexual performance and health. A regular multi-vitamin will cover all of them.
Vitamin A: Necessary for production of sex hormones and sperm.
Vitamin E: Necessary for production of sex hormones and sperm.
Vitamin B6: Helps prevent erectile dysfunction.
Vitamin B12: Prevents impotence.
Folate: Helps production of dopamine which increases your sexual desire.
L-arginine: Helps in giving you hard erections.
Niacin: Enhances your touch sensation and helps dilate your blood vessels to improve erections.
Pantothemic acid: Critical for producing sex hormones and increases your endurance.
Thiamin: Increases your sexual energy.
Zinc: Critical for producing testosterone which gives you a healthy sex drive.
5. Ginko Bilboa
Ginko relaxes your muscles and increases blood flow to you penis which increases your sexual performance and sensation. As many as 50% of men with erectile dysfunction regain their erections after 6 months of taking Ginko and 75% experience enhanced sexual response. 90% of women experience better sexual response after four weeks.
Ginko doesn’t work right away, so take it for at least four weeks before expecting improvement. Take 50 mg to 100 mg per day. You can buy Ginko at most drug stores.
Ginseng increases nitric oxide production throughout the body, which plays a crucial role in facilitating erections. Teas and foods that contain ginseng contain only a tiny dose, not enough to have any real effect on your body. The dose is 100 mg to 200 mg per day and you can buy it at most drug stores.
7. Get More Sleep
Getting enough sleep is a prerequisite for good sex and the foundation for an overall sense of health and well-being. You may be one of the 40% of Americans you get less than six hours of sleep a night; although not a hard rule, you should be getting eight.
When you’re fatigued, your body’s first instinct is to shut off sexual desire. Your testosterone level, responsible for sexual desire, drops lick a rock. If you’re not getting enough sleep, your sex life is suffering from pure weariness.
8. Reduce Stress
Stress is highly correlated with erectile dysfunction, performance anxiety, arousal difficulties, and lack of sexual drive in both sexes.
When you’re stressed out, adrenaline causes your heart rate to rise and your blood vessels to constrict so that blood is delivered to where it is needed most – the muscles, not the genitals. Your levels of serotonin and dopamine, neurotransmitters responsible for keeping you a in a good mood and high sex drive, drop as well. And like a lack of sleep, stress causes your testosterone levels to drop as well, resulting in lackluster sex drive.
Chronic stress leads to depression, anxiety, and distracting thoughts, all which distract from sexual passion, pleasure and performance. Even if you do manage to have sex when you’re stressed, you cannot connect to the moment because your mind is drifting.
A lot of people reduce their stress by fuzzing out in front of the television. What’s far better is controlled deep breathing and muscle relaxation – the #1 best effective way for reducing stress.
Exercise regularly. Fit people recover faster from stress than unfit people. Exercise takes your mind off your troubles by boosting your natural endorphins, which make you feel good, in turn hardening your erections.
Use self-hypnosis visualization to decrease your anxiety and take the body out of stress mode.
Have your partner give you regular massages. Massage relaxes the muscles, improves circulation, and induces a feeling of well-being. The basic techniques of giving a massage are discussed in this book.
Humans have evolved through the generations to respond comfortably to green and blue colors – the color of foliage, and the sky. Nature in general has a calming effect. Go for walks and enjoy the fresh air. If you can’t be outside on a regular basis, place some real or fake trees and plants around your home or apartment.
Get into some warm water. Bathing relieves muscle tension and enhances blood circulation by dilating blood vessels. Taking a bath before bed can help you achieve a deeper, more restful sleep and reduce stress.
9. Quit Smoking
Smoking causes erectile dysfunction by restricting circulation in the penis. Hard, long-lasting erections depend on healthy blood flow through the penis and if there’s not enough, your erections will be soft. If you smoke, it’s time to quit.
Some people think that if a little is good, more might be better. Not so. Always take the exact dosage recommended on the bottle and no more – most herbs and nutrients take a while to build up in your system before taking effect. Don’t look for miraculous, instant changes. Be patient for slow and steady improvement instead.
Also, you could call all of the above solutions as “band-aid” fixes in that they may temporarily reduce stress in the short-run, but they don’t really attack the roots of the problem of stress in your life. The fact is, we live in a capitalist world that puts pressure on us to work harder and work longer hours. Often, we have little control over what goes on in our work places. Or, you may have family problems that won’t go away just because you take a hot bath. Sometimes, we simply do not have enough time in the day to attend to all of our responsibilities. If you’re work is highly stressful, you may need to change jobs. Or you may need to make more fundamental changes in your life. Sometimes you are not in a position to do so. Do the “band-aid fixes” until you can get your life exactly where you want it to be!
Your pal, Jesse