Harems, Threesomes, And Girlfriends – How To Decide Which Is Right For You

What kind of dating life do YOU want?

MOST of the men in the world choose one of two paths: straight-up monogamous relationships, or a series of meaningless physical conquests.

But is that what you REALLY want?  Or do you place yourself in one of these categories because that’s the way our social world is currently organized?

If you’ve thought about what you want to get out of your romantic life and you’ve decided on one of these paths, great.  Nothing wrong with that.

But be honest – isn’t it because you haven’t seen any other realistic choices?

The two choices most guys think are the only choices.

Our world places the long-term meaningful relationship as the top of the pyramid, the thing we all should aim for with the thought of eventually finding a girl to marry.  Don’t get me wrong – nothing can replace the spiritual and emotional connection of a serious relationship.

But plenty of guys aim for serious steady relationships more because they finally GOT a girl, and they’re scared of being lonely again.

But a number of guys don’t want to DO that – at least not yet – and instead want SEX.  And lots of it.  And the excitement of the chase, of flirting.  The problem with this is, even if you’re the master player and can get a girl anytime you want, you never really have a chance to experience the deeper emotions.  Just get your rocks off.

Most guys eventually get as bored of this life as you would dating a nun.

Ok, it’s a completely different kind of boredom.  But you usually wind up seeing a wide variety of party girls, and the night after the morning you get this awful empty feeling.  So you go find the next girl to fill that void, but you wind up just making it deeper and more painful.

And that guy often winds up getting REALLY lonely and searching out a long-term relationship – but he lacks the relationship experience and so thus is a poor judge of what he’ll need in a more serious mate.  He either tries to convert a party girl or he scattershots the rest of the population, getting poor mates as often as good ones.

What if there were other ways?

Let’s take a moment now and run down all SORTS of different ways of dating that are ACTUALLY available.

Monogamous Man

As mentioned before, this is a GREAT way to get all the good things that pair-bonding brings.  However, you also greatly reduce your experience; instead of being out and dating lots of women and finding out what all sorts of different types there are – and how they fit with you – M Man gets stuck in looooong relationships.  They usually go a month or two too long, the girl is usually the one doing the dumping (“I just need some space to think about things.”) and there is a tendency to stick with sub-standard situations due to the lonely fear factor.

Oh, and unfortunately, rarely does a monogamous relationship stay that way.  Pain all around.

The Player

You have plenty of sex with plenty of women, but never more than a few sessions with any one.  Great way to hone your attraction skills and see what’s out there – in fact, in the beginning of your dating life, being a player is a nice start so you can gain experience.  However, you lose out on the deeper emotions and rare is the man who is fulfilled by a lifetime of playing.

Multiple Primaries Guy

You have long-terrm relationships, but you aren’t monogamous.  Some guys do this while pretending to be M Man, but it works best if you’re up front about it. (Avoid all the deception and eventual pain when you’re found out.  There are girls who will comb your cell when you’re in the bathroom.  Beware.)

Most guys don’t think is a realistic possibility, but you’d be surprised.  If a woman is attracted to you and you’re honest about your lifestyle, she’ll usually adapt to your reality.  There may be numerous brush fires to put out, but you can avoid a lot of that by having girls who like EACH OTHER and are into SHARING you.  Bisexual ladies welcome.  Threesomes welcome.

A Primary with Secondaries Dude

Here you have one serious relationship, but you also have some other girls for fun (either steady sex friends or random pick-ups).  Again, your lady knows about the other women, but she accepts them as part of being with you.  And you are emotionally faithful to your main gal.  You can even bring her in on the fun – picking up women as a couple is easier than you think, and often easier than doing it on your own.  And it can be a lot of fun.

You also are playing a dangerous game, because should you ever start to bond with one of your sex friends, your main lady is gonna be pissed.  It’s a LOT harder to go from Primary and Secondaries Dude to Multiple Primaries Guy than vice-versa.  Your lady is going to feel betrayed and, worse, demoted.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Harem Harry

Now you are just having some serious fun.  Any combination of primaries and secondaries, with everyone aware of everyone else and often playing with each other.  You are the center of a sexual universe.

As long as the girls know what they’re getting into from the start, you won’t have too many problems.  Oh, you’ll still have problems – every relationship has problems – and occasionally they’ll seem huge just because you have so MANY relationships to keep healthy.

Still, you can avoid most the Glenn-Close-with-a-knife problems since you are emotionally connected but still emotionally free.  Free love man.  Ain’t it great? (As a note, sometimes harems have more than one “Harry” with the guys sharing the ladies.)  It’s not unheard of for a MP Guy or a PwS Dude to become a Harem Harry.  Players make the transition as well.

Swinging Stud

Now you’ve got one main lady, but you attend parties or clubs looking to swap with others or get involved in orgies.  This can also take the form of finding a third for a threesome while out and about.

Now, that’s a LOT more possibilities than you thought were out there.  They all have advantages and drawbacks, and you should choose a goal that works for you.  BUT, you should establish the GOAL first and create the attitude and reality that works with it.  Because it’s MUCH harder to change a relationship mid-stream than to have things clear from the beginning (not that it can’t be done).

Of course you’re not locked in to any one way.  Maybe you start as a player, find a great girl and stop going out with anyone but.  Or maybe you build a Harem but get bored with the sex that is nothing more than physical, and so pick out a few girls as multiple primaries.  Or you end a monogamous relationship date a number of women – all secondaries – until one separates herself from the pack and you pair-bond with her, but keep the rest around for fun.

Or maybe you have a gal you love as much as anything, but you want to spice up your life with a little swinging.  So you take her to a club, she watches the openness of the people there, and you slowly transition from an observing pair to a participating one.

The permutations are endless, so don’t think TOO hard about this.  You can always change your goals later.  But you should establish the GOAL you have RIGHT NOW before you go out.

And you should do it because YOU want to, not because it’s what you think the world expects.

Advantages Of A Harem

Why a harem?

Why choose a way of life where you live with two or more women together at a time?  A way of life that makes it possible for new women to come into your life and others to leave with a minimum of hassle and headache?

Yes, building and maintaining a harem is not something you do once and then forget.

It is a lifestyle.  One with incredible, rich rewards, and one that takes some work… especially on the inside.

Apart from the obvious reasons of sexual variety, fun, prestige, and pleasure, I’ve come to realize that many modern relationships, whether it be marriage, or any other type of monogamous arrangement eventually… fail.

The numbers speak for themselves.

Let’s take a look at some rather interesting statistics.  The tendency of most couples, whether married or not, is to end up in a break up or a divorce after only four years of being together.  The relationship cycle lasts four to five years.

So why marry?  Why commit yourself unnaturally to just one woman?  A whopping 40-70% of men cheat on their wives or girlfriends.

No surprise there, right?

For women, it’s roughly 30-50%.  And these are the ones who were brave enough to admit it on a survey.

The real numbers are most likely even higher.

With odds such as these, why is it that we still cling to the idea of having only one partner at a time?  Why do we go against our very nature?

The answer lies in our indoctrination to the blind acceptance of monogamy put forth by society, government, and family.

This mind programming leaves us sadly with no models in our consciousness for successful multiple partner relationships, much less a modern day harem.

Harems are considered immoral in this society.  Even cheating on your wife or girlfriend is considered “immoral.”

It wasn’t always like this.

Yes, there are other societies where having multiple partners is more acceptable.   In these societies, having multiple girlfriends is not an evil thing, but rather a reality that is simply accepted.

You may have read about times in history where one powerful and influential man was able to have hundreds of wives at a time.

But times have changed.

And even though guys love the idea of a harem, when it comes right down to it, they see that their inner beliefs, their indoctrination, stands in the way, creating a wall which causes them to be unable to handle a harem.

Think about it…

In light of the above, the majority of men are capable of being with many women at the same time.  However, most men instead having multiple girlfriends simultaneously, have one girlfriend every three or four years until they trade her in for another, leading a double life as they cheat.

It is sad that the majority of multi-partner relationships are based on lies, deceit, guilt, and broken commitments.

There exists no honesty for the most part.  We tend to lie to our girlfriends and wives in order to live out our polygamous nature.

And even though both men and women are polygamous in nature, women don’t want to be one of a man’s many girlfriends – they want the man all to themselves.  She wants to be the only woman in his life.

Not willing to share a man with other women makes monogamy stressful and confusing to both men and women.  The confusion lies partly in the reality that having a harem does not automatically mean that you are going to be promiscuous.

How is this possible?

There is a process, a process of you becoming more selective as a man that will allow you to sustain intimate relationships with several women over time.

A process that you will learn over time by reading the ideas put forth in The Harem Playboy.  It is a process that will allow you to build new ideas, new beliefs, and new behaviors that will inevitably bring you more love and pleasure than you can ever imagine.

And the good thing is…

You won’t have to lie, feel guilty, hide, or break any commitment you have previously made to other women.

Men don’t realize that we can design a lifestyle that includes both having what I call a modern day harem with many women at one time AND having deep, intimate, long-lasting relationships.  A lifestyle where you can be yourself and not have to worry about the problems that afflict men involved in monogamous relationships.

In order for this to happen, men need to learn specific skills in handling more than one woman, in addition to basic seduction and knowledge of female psychology.

Given society’s monogamous expectations and our very own limiting beliefs, achieving this is not easy for most guys.

But then again, being only with one person isn’t either, especially if you’re feeling attracted to many other women.

There is a certain level of maturity, independence, high self esteem, skill, and commitment that needs to be honed and developed to build a harem, but the rewards are enormously gratifying, as you will soon have the pleasure of finding out.

 

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9 Comments on "Harems, Threesomes, And Girlfriends – How To Decide Which Is Right For You"

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chance
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chance
A harem can work because if you have the right lead woman she filters for her hornier friends. Usually a referral is going to be more comfortable in the company of her friend at least the first time. So you get a threesome. I have a new found taste for threesomes, but not constantly. So here’s what happens in real life. Lead lady #1 Kate (age 23) introduces #2 Rita (age 32). Rita has a great time because this is kinky sex, has a couple orgasms and she enjoys the company of Kate as well. Kate and Rita are “light… Read more »
Set
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Set
This is an interesting article, and it is possible because I’ve experienced it before, but I think you’re only thinking one-sided here. A door opens from both sides. If a man can have many girlfriends, then a woman can have many boyfriends, the relationship should be covered from both ends. Unless both sides of the partners come to an agreement on the set up. For example, I’m a straight man, and I admit, I’m selfish. I’d love to have a harem of women to have relationships with, and I’d be fine if they were into each other (bisexual), but I… Read more »
Dom
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Dom

A good, fair comment.

Vanessa
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Vanessa

Funny you didn’t mention anything about your girl having sex with other men…

You have a serious misogyn problem, you think it’s ok for a man to have a girlfriend and fuck buddies or a harem, but it’s worng for the girl to do the same? Dude!

Shame on you, you’re never going to fulfill any of those fantasies…

JP
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JP
Great article Jesse. It’s a tricky area. I agree that it seems you always pay a price in the monogamy/player set-up. Either you end up just getting bored of cheap meaningless sex and are slightly dissatisfied with the overall caliber of woman that you are getting as it does tend to be party girls you hook-up with. Or you are with that one girl who is more satisfying and more of a complete package but you end up feeling very frustrated and neutered as a young virile male who can only have sex with one woman. The issue is that… Read more »
k
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k

Here, here, you speak the truth. The world is strangled my monogamy. It needs more harems.

prince landoh
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prince landoh

i will like to have a spiritual friend that can satify my sexual desire

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