Now I want to talk about the possibility of “rejection”, because that seems to be the number one hold-up of guys that prevents them from approaching the kind of women they really want.
The reality is, no matter how you approach a woman, if you come across with a good energy, if you come across as being a playful, fun, relaxed person, you’ll next to never experience rejection. I know that might sound hard to believe, but in the light of experience you’ll realize that very few women are going to be openly hostile toward you.
The fact is that the vast, vast majority of people out there you meet will, at the very least, be polite and welcome your attention on some level.
That doesn’t mean that all women are ready to go out with you at all times. Take this analogy. Consider yourself a Ferrari sports car on a car lot ready for sale. You’re a first class product. But the woman buyer who comes along, passes you over because she needs transportation for a family of six and two German shepherds. Your inability to sell her as a Ferrari is neither a reflection of your worth nor your excellent product. It’s simply not a good fit.
Or with some women, if they’re not that interested in talking with you, you may have caught her at a bad moment. A lot of people have had a bad day at work, they’re in a rush, or she just had a fight with her mother. That’s not reflection on you.
The Rare Situation
Let me tell you a story that recently happened to me. Most of the time, when I approach a woman, even if it doesn’t lead anywhere in particular, I get a good, friendly response. However, on rare occasions, and there’s no avoiding this completely, you can get quite an unusual response.
As I was doing some standing shoulder exercises with free weights, she came over and stood right next to me and started doing an exercise. In fact, she was so close I could barely raise my arm and the dumbbell without bumping into her.
She may have been shy, so again I playfully opened her a second time.
She said, “Yeah, tell me about it,” the subtext being, “I don’t want this conversation” and she immediately walked away and walked out the front door of the gym!
But that was an extremely unusual case where a woman will give you sexual cues and then act bizarrely. That’s the thing, you can never predict exact outcomes. Even if a girl gives you sexual cues, she may still not react well to your particular approach.
So did I take this one case as a rejection? No.
The fact is, you’re weeding women out, you’re seeing if she’s the kind of woman who meets YOUR standards and YOUR approval. And, since you don’t know her or her situation you can’t place too much weight into her response. Since all you did was say hello, she hasn’t yet proven herself to you as someone who is worth getting to know. Any woman could end up being overly materialistic, have a difficult personality, be a drama queen, be chronically moody, superficial, overly dependent on others, or just be a plain unhappy person.
And if she misses out on the pleasure, happiness, and fun you could have given her… oh well. She missed out. You gave her an opportunity to get to know you, and she blew it. Besides, there are ten women right around the corner who will love to meet the kind of guy you can be for them.
Turning Around Rejection
Now what if a woman doesn’t respond to you as well as you would have liked.
Even in the case that she acts rude, disrespectful, or acts disinterested, every response she gives you is a response you can use to your advantage.
Now what you don’t want to do is walk away with your head hung low with the spirit taken out of your body because that just conveys a lack of security.
And you don’t want to throw back an insulting retort, revenge style, that only throws more bad energy into the air. A retort can nurture a misplaced hatred of women in your mind, and will only generate another nasty response from her.
Instead handle the situation without looking like a wimp, without burning any bridges, and at the same time gain some respect from her.
Just say, “Look, why are you being like that to someone who is just being friendly? I’m speaking you to you courteously and I expect you to be courteous in return. Maybe you’ve had a rotten day, but you shouldn’t have taken it out on me.”
Say this in a conversational, sincere tone and not harshly, or sharply. Give her every reason to feel guilty about what she’s done.
Then gaze right into her eyes, and wait for her to respond.
This is the last thing she expects and shows her that you understand the underlying thrust of the conversation; that she’s being disrespectful. What you’re doing is not giving give her any ammunition to fire back at you. This kind of response cuts through all the superficial behavior and leaves her with little alternative but to respond back with sincere, open communication of her own.
It also conveys that you’re a strong, attractive guy because you don’t take negative crap, and at the same time you’re relaxed and confident enough to keep your cool. And this one response fits any kind of negative reaction you might possibly get, when you ever get one. It fits all situations so you don’t have to think of a creative response on the spot.
With this kind of response, you really shouldn’t have any fear of rejection. In fact, you should welcome it. You should welcome the opportunity, look forward to the chance to powerfully respond to the first act of disrespect a woman gives you because it allows you to turn it around into a situation where you can create value and respect in her eyes. Look at is this way; any disrespectful response from a woman is a golden opportunity in disguise.
Your pal, Jesse