How To Ignore Her To Get Her Attention

You can ignore a hot girl to get her attention!  Here’s how-

When approaching a group of women, men do the mirror-opposite of what actually works.

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Here’s what most guys do: they see a hot girl in a group of women and approach her. They pay all of their attention to the hot girl and generally ignore all of her less attractive friends.  BAD strategy.

Instead of approaching the hot girl and ignoring her friends, you need to approach all of her friends and ignore the hot girl.

In other words, you open the entire group of friends and tell them a story or show them something (and no, not that something down there) that they’ll think is cool. You want all the girls of the group to like you while you ignore the hot girl. This makes you look like a confident, cocky guy with a lot of status while it simultaneously lowers the status of the hot girl. And your chances with her will be MUCH higher. In fact, if you do it well, it will make the hot girl of the group chase YOU.

After all, building social value for oneself is only half of the equation.  For while you want to BUILD your own social value, you can simultaneously work to LOWER hers.

While your social value moves up, her social value can also move down.

In mathematics, this is called an inverse relationship, in which when one variable increases, the other rises.

The easiest and simplest way to lower a woman’s value is to simply IGNORE her.  Ignoring a woman has a deep psychological impact on her.

It’s a universal human trait to hate being ignored – especially by others with perceived authority and social value.

Children who are routinely ignored by their parents often grow up to see the world as a cold place and desperately seek acceptance from others as adults.  As teenagers, being ignored by one’s peers is akin to a social death.  And even moving to a new city where everyone treats you and ignores you like a stranger, living single and with few friends, can quickly grow emotionally exhausting.

It’s a basic emotional need for people as human beings to be accepted and paid attention to by people they hold valuable.  Ever been in the opposite situation where everyone’s attention is on YOU and they’re intently listening to what YOU have to say?

Like perhaps you gave a speech to a crowd and got applause. Or perhaps you had a large role in a school play. Or perhaps you had a particularly good time with some girls where you were on a roll telling stories and they all laughed, rapt with attention. Or perhaps you found yourself in a leadership position and everyone did exactly whatever you said – not because they had to, but because you emerged as the natural leader of the group.

Any one of those scenarios feels pretty good. You probably even got quite an adrenalin rush and high from the experience.  If you’ve had an experience like that, you know how powerful that high is. Now imagine its exact opposite – being ignored.  Being ignored is equally as powerful, except that it makes you feel like crap, like a loser.

When you’re ignored by people you hold valuable, it’s as if your total sense of social value is sucked right out of your stomach. And without social value, you experience the feeling of “genetic death” – that without value, no woman will mate with you to pass on your genes.  That’s why we all like positive attention.

Beautiful women look for positive attention more than anyone else. Beautiful women are attention junkies. Why else would they spend hours every day fixing their hair and getting dressed in uncomfortable clothes, high-heels, and makeup if they weren’t looking for some positive attention?  Beautiful women go to clubs to pump attention from men directly into their veins – it’s like a drug fix that they can never satiate.

Imagine a beautiful woman who is NEVER ignored by men. She ALWAYS gets attention from them. She doesn’t even know what being ignored feels like. She has a lot of social value and on an unconscious level, she knows it.

Now imagine you open her group of friends and build social value for yourself by talking to all of them through stories, jokes, routines, and so on.

But you ignore HER.

You even talk to her friends with your back turned slightly AWAY from her.

This is something she’s never experienced before from a man. You are different from other men.  She’ll start to feel, “Why isn’t this guy paying attention to me?”

As she stands there, ignored by you and her friends, and no longer the center of attention, her social value deflates like a popped balloon.  Pretty soon, she’ll start to feel terribly uncomfortable that her social value has been body slammed to the floor through the simple phenomenon of – being ignored.

And she’ll get VERY antsy to win your attention VERY quickly.  Why?

Because, if she wins your attention, your social value will rub off back on her.

As you’ll see when you try this, within minutes most beautiful women will mentally “snap” from being ignored and try to win your attention back to them and away from their friends.  For example, if you’re reading her friend’s palms but ignoring her, she might say, “Hey what about me!” or “Do me next!” or “Let me try!”

Do not immediately give in to her request. If you immediately give in to her request, she’ll have gotten her attention fix from you. Her social value will be restored. She’s won you over – you’re just another guy who will jump at her every little request.  Instead, tell her teasingly, “Hey greedy fingers… you’ll have to wait…”

Then tell her friends, “Is she your friend? Boy does she have greedy fingers.”  Then continue to ignore her and continue to engage her friends.

Her social value will continue to deflate while yours will continue to rise – an inverse relationship of social value. Your original social values will reverse. If you came in as an 8, you’re now a 10. She falls from a 10 to an 8.

After ignoring her for several more minutes, she’ll be looking for any opening to receive your attention and acceptance of her – in just the same was as how most guys who approach her are looking to receive her attention and acceptance of them!

Obviously, you don’t always need to ignore the girl to get her attentione to get laid. For example, it may be completely unnecessary to ignore a girl who already has low social value – a girl that isn’t particularly attractive for instance.  Ignoring a girl to knock down her social value – when she already has low social value to begin with – could crush her ego.

But when dealing with attractive women, ignoring her followed by screening and acceptance will greatly increase your success rate. And the more attractive the woman, the better ignoring her works.

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  1. Susan James

    Just because they want the attention from you does not mean they will sleep with you. Actually, it just makes them angry and much less likely.

  2. lavac

    This is so true I know I did that before n it actually work.

  3. Anonymous

    Ignoring the hot girl is not always ignoring the hot girl, sometimes the target is not the prettiest girl in the group. In my experience the hot girl is not the best in bed. The girl who does not know she is pretty will rock your world. The pretty girl best friend will do things to you that you will never forget. So to the girls who are looking for the guy who ignores them, it is not all about you. Sometime it is about your friend that does not think see is pretty but is gorgeous in the right place “my arms”.

  4. The illuminator

    Funny how anonymous is a dumb tramp without an education or life. All the other sluts on here should go bleach there black assholes and lose the bread gut.

  5. seydou keita

    Great points, ideas, and concepts. All situations call for a distinct approach in this case trying to get the hot girl when she’s with a group of her friends. One can use these elements and adapt them to a particular setting. Yet why are stupid tramps on here commenting? There is no reason this post if for men! Not smelly fishy cunts, who think they have testosterone and high androgens running through there bodies. Great article fuck the hoes!

  6. Anonymous

    if you fart, you’ll make her laugh

  7. Tony-tone

    Ignore her face and talk to her tits and ass, always a good last resort secret-weapon.

  8. Bobby Caldwell

    I do this just for the fun of it on the commute to and from work…there is a certain type of woman, young and hot, who seriously thinks all men want them. I may even attract attention because of my height (6″5′), but I’m not interested in conversation with a woman I don’t know on the subway, nor am I interested in fulfilling her expectations by flirting with or checking her out. I ignore them completely, which results in them now actively trying to get my attention (some will even speak to you, asking the time or something equally pointless).

    Women get defensive when they learn that some men are aware of the game. It SERIOUSLY bothers them. There is a certain type of woman who actually thinks she is a goddess (thirsty and desperate men are to blame for this), and when she is legitimately ignored it is inconceivable to her. She will ignore the guy who IS giving her the attention just to focus on you, ‘The Challenge’. And it’s not based on true attraction, it’s all her own narcissism (‘Look at me, I’m hot!’).

    It’s both sad and amusing.

  9. Anonymous

    If a woman is trying to seduce another woman, will the seducer ignore her for a period of time, after she had done something nice for her?

  10. Barrack obama

    no sence

  11. Anonymous


  12. Anonymous

    I wouldn’t listen to this guy.
    This “trick’ is dated, and way to common nowadays.
    Any confident, intelligent beautiful women can see right through this.
    1. When you walk up to a group of 3 girls and, ignore the most attractive one, she wont question her attractiveness, and crave more attention. She notices the game your trying to play, and avoids you like the plague.
    I love excusing myself and going to get a drink, the look on your faces is hilarious, and i end up winning your little game.
    2. Sure were stared at a lot, but hardly any guys even have the guts to actually walk up to us. WE hardly even get approached. The ones who do walk up to us, are confident(or drunk)** Something we love in a guy, so you get a point simply by moving your legs, and doing something many other guys don’t have the balls to do!! So easy.

    Your next step is to engage our brains!
    No need to tell us were beautiful, this is a common statement, so it will receive a common reply: Thank you. Than conversation done.

    Playful banter, or a play on words, or a self depreciating comment, or a teasing comment. Better yet offer her a drink, that gives you around 4 minutes to chat, and be interesting.
    Than you disengage(the subtle equivalence of being ignored) and if you catch her eye later, and she smiles at you well congrats, go get her number.

    Guys think to get the beautiful girl you have to belittle her, ignore her, or make her feel bad about herself. So thats pretty much all we get from you. Try something new.. its getting old. And it’s also why we often see the beautiful girl with the okay looking guy.

    *Side note: if you told me i had greedy fingers, id fucking vom. Than i would make fun of you. And once your publicly made fun of by the hottest girl in the club/bar, no one will want you. Sooo have fun with that.

    • Logan

      You sound like a terrible person, I bet you don’t have friends

      • Mr.TooNaive

        Awesome reply. Made my day.

    • Anonymous

      So true! We do not get approached. ☹

  13. A girl

    I think that this strategy really, but really works. Because of that strategy I think that I can’t stop thinking about one man and even he is not my type of a Mr. Perfect, at all. He has nothing that I like. He’s just a smart player. Anyway, I have realized I’m in love with him…and that is a real disaster :sad:

  14. Susannag

    Yes Uglyfriend you are right after i realize the same i do not go out with women i am alone and it is it is not that bad as i thought ……..

  15. Uglyfriend

    This explains why I’ve been spoken to two times out of every singe time I’ve ever been out in my life. Shortly after, of course, they asked me about my more attractive friend. I’m ignored ALL of the time, so I don’t expect to be spoken to–but those two people did, and I was almost happy. Now that I know they don’t actually want anything other than to get rid of my ‘cockblocking’, I guess I can at least stop getting my hopes up.

    • Uglyfriend

      I’ve actually been reading more on this, and have officially decided that I will not go out with my friends anymore so I don’t cockblock anyone. Apparently, we’re bad for females AND males [because attractive people think the males are dating us, and don’t try to flirt with them either.] So, yay, one less ugly friend to worry about! :mrgreen:

      • Logan

        Yayyyyy, I hate the cock blocking mother hens

  16. Anonymous

    Too predictable….When guy does that I know well what’s up…when he ignores me while talking to my friends, it is evident he is after me. I never pursue the guy because I know that he will give up eventually and approaches me in despair. Smart move but not always the way to go. Smart beautiful women sense that…as long as they have healthy confidence and know men well. I am up for directness. I like confidence in men. Respectful, direct (not sleazy) and charming goes far in my world. A man who does not need to play games and knows what he wants is a huge turn on. The rest…oh well…keep trying ;)

    • Anonymous

      I completely agree. But this article works like a charm as a response to girls that play hard to get

    • Logan

      Usually attractive women are dumb emotional attention craving creatures.

    • Anonymous

      Jesus fkn Christ if you like a girl just try to befriend her without oogling all over her. It’s not that difficult.

  17. Ben

    Bars are not my typical place to meet women but the tip is really cool. I think the intention behind it is also important (like with almost anything you communicate to women), you got to *get* the mentality behind it.

    You’re just playing a game and communicating I get the usual power-plays that go on in social interactions…

    And it’s just plain old fun ;)

  18. Jes

    You are absolutely right. Based on the personal experiences I’ve had with women, I find ignoring them the best thing to do. Many times I’ll see a beautiful women but I won’t give her the attention she wants and I see how they begin to approach me because it’s not something that they are used to. All the women that are getting defensive here and trying to use cheap psychological warfare are talking rubbish and they know it. I have never met a woman who doesn’t love to be noticed. I’ve ignored some beautiful women to a point where they will come up to me and greet me just to get my attention. But my downfall is that once they have gotten my attention, I have the knack of harping on that instead of just continuing the ostracism, that’s when I start to get ignored. So your advice is spot on, and too all the ladies that have been making such emotional comments, you’ll have shown that you’ll already lost this argument, but then again a women will always think she knows it all.

    • Smarty pants

      Yeah just keep ignoring the ladies and someday you may have lovely cats.

      • Anonymous

        that’s not what the article is saying

  19. Perry

    LOL! Look at how all the women in the comments get defensive. Rich.

    “Being beautiful doesn’t mean you know that your beautiful, and it doesn’t mean you are begging for attention like some pathetic narcissist.

    Yeah, right. Attractive women know when they’re the center of attention. Though men may be wary of approaching them (this depends), women constantly feel their stares.

    “The same thing goes with hot girls; every girl, every person for that matter, knows what it is like to be ignored.”

    What? Who goes out to be ignored? People typically frequent late night establishments looking for sexual encounters; particularly from the perspective of a male. Women want to be seen. If that isn’t the case, then why go out? Why pay to get into a crowded/noisy establishment? Of course everyone knows what it’s like to be ignored, but do people—who are frequenting a social setting–anticipate being ignored? Furthermore, a good number of women love to compete among themselves.

    • Jesse Charger

      sweet retort my dear sir

  20. Don Wahn

    Brilliant and very , very true . Hot babes want what they cannot have —-cause they get so much.

    • Jesse Charger


  21. Max

    I’ve always been aware of this social phenomena, but never could articulate it as well as this article.

    Extremely insightful!

    Great work!

    • Jesse Charger

      Thanks Max glad it was a help to you

    • Yup

      Ignoring works only for some NPD’s and borderlineP’s
      But it doesn’t metter they evil in bed but stay away let them chase and never commit, they will chase and suck you dry anytime you wish! just pull back if they try to move into your place:) never ever. They are sex psycho!
      Good girls like good boys!!!!

  22. angel

    this advice is horrible unless you are looking for a stupid insecure one night stand…then by all means go ahead. any sexy self-respecting woman wouldn’t fall for this. why don’t you just try being yourself. brains and humor will get you in her pants. trust me.

    • Jesse Charger

      ever be in a conversation and had the people suddenly have to leave, leaving you standing there by yourself? felt sucky right? you don’t need to be stupid or insecure to get that feeling. being ignored temporarily works, it makes BOTH men and women chase.

    • Anonymous

      I was told by the last girl I dated she was attracted to me because I didn’t chase her like every other guy. I wasn’t paying her attention because I had a girlfriend at the time. As soon as my previous ex to this girl and I broke up she jumped at the opportunity to get my attention. Jesse is right. I got this girl and wasn’t ignoring her to get her attention, but unintentionally attracted her because I seemed different by not giving her attention. So for all the women on here that say this technique is low and pathetic. Everyone wants something that’s a chase a prize or what have you. The more you have of something the less value it brings. I excited this girl because it really boosted her ego to get with me.

      • Anonymous

        I think the key to this is that you UNINTENTIONALLY attracted her. I have a feeling that she was attracted to you because you weren’t trying to ignore her or pick her up, you were simply being yourself without the burden of playing head games. If you had been intentionally ignoring her, things may have gone differently.

  23. joe

    ignoring women never got me anywhere. this advice may not work.

    • Jesse Charger

      ignoring has to be followed up by showing interest. you cannot just perpetually ignore the girl, she’d think you weren’t interested or had no balls.

      • Anonymous

        If you ignore her and then show interest, she’ll be suspicious. If you ignore or neg her and then show interest, she’ll think you’re bipolar/cocky, and if she decides to show any interest in return there’s at least a 50% chance she’s doing it to spite you. Meaning, she plans on dumping you anyway.

    • Calio

      :roll: Its not to ignore a woman all together but the best one out of the pair/group that’s if she’s the one you want and guys have been hitting on her all night. So you speak to the group while keeping it a general convo slyly focus more on the one you don’t want. I always done it so she never cockblocked me but after reading this I guess it makes sense too.

  24. stephen

    Well said. Beautiful women cannot tolerate it when guys ignore them. Expect some women to give you some grief for saying this, it just angers them that there are still men out there that won’t give in to a woman no matter how beautiful she is.

    • Jesse Charger

      and the more beautiful she is, the better it works :smile:

  25. sydney escorts

    I totally agree, the less attractive friends also known as cock blockers need to like you first before you move in for the target. Great advise!

    • Jesse Charger

      Thanks sydney

  26. Natalie


    I appreciate your “all girls are the same” approach. Obviously you know a lot about women.
    If I were to say, “the hot guy in a room has never been ignored in his life, he gets pussy wherever he goes!” you would probably say bullshit to that. The same thing goes with hot girls; every girl, every person for that matter, knows what it is like to be ignored. Being beautiful doesn’t mean you know that your beautiful, and it doesn’t mean you are begging for attention like some pathetic narcissist. Make-up does not equal attention any more than doing your hair does. Just because people want to look nice and feel presentable doesn’t mean they think they’re all that. I bet you that any girl you ignore who is actually worth your while will not be interested in you and your juvenile behavior. If you want to get the hot yet shallow and completely vain girl who only wants you because of some status that you pulled out of your ass, then you show yourself to be a dipshit anyway.

    • Anonymous

      Kictk ass point you mather. I hope to read your posts as we go an.

    • v.s.i

      Spot on, and I’m glad there _is_ someone who can read through all this nonsense and meaningless drivel better than myself. (I’ve been awake for way too long…)

    • Logan

      Dudes don’t care about girls who are actually worth their while. Screw that, I’d rather have hot yet shallow chicks then a bunch of really good friends.

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