Seduction Science

Negging Women – 10 Awesome Negs That Work

You can also lower a girl’s social value in relation to yours with quick lines by negging women.

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Here are some examples of negging women:

For a girl with a belly shirt: “Did your shirt shrink in the laundry?”

“Your roots are showing.”

“Your nose is a little red. You’re like an Eskimo. Cool.”

“You know, you look just like my little sister. Weird.”

Double AA sexy commercial

Effect of a neg on a hot girl illustrated

“You know, I like that outfit you’ve got on… but I don’t know… your shoes don’t really match. You should have gone with tan boots…”

To her guy friends, “So what’s special about this one.”

If she’s talking tell her friends, “So do you guys ever get a word in edge wise?”

“Hey… you look like that cartoon character… yeah that’s right, Rainbow Brite remember her?”

“I like your eyes. Hey… are you wearing colored contacts??? (before she can answer) Oh my god, no way, you are…”

“You know, your body language is all closed off. It makes you look like one of those newborns I saw on the discovery channel when they came out of the womb – all curled up.”

“Hey, you’re a goof.”

By negging women, you’ve indicated to her that you’re not interested in her over anyone else in the group. This is a new thing for her. She’ll feel the bitter sting of being just like everyone else. Her looks no longer give her all the power – because you’re not responding to her looks.

Because you’re demonstrating social value to the group at the same time she’s wondering, “Why isn’t this guy attracted to me? Why isn’t this guy paying attention to me? Who is this guy? How am I going to win this guy’s attention?”

Everyone wants to be liked. Everyone wants approval. No one wants to be ignored. The same holds true for beautiful women – even more so. Their whole reality is based on having power and having acceptance and adoration through their good looks. Take that away and their whole reality crumbles and they’ll do anything to get it back.

Negging women is ideal for really hot girls – 8s, 9s, and 10s. For an average girl (6s, 7s), you don’t want to use value zingers. All you need to do is demonstrate social value – you don’t need to lower hers. Hers wasn’t that high to begin with.

Negging women is unnecessary and inappropriate to use on girls who are already being friendly or giving you green lights. Don’t throw one out of the blue for no reason at a girl who is already responding well.

But if she’s super hot and you’ve just met her, that’s a different story. Use a neg or two on her.

Now, it’s critical to use negs right. Remember, you’re not out to damage the girl’s self confidence or put her down. You’re not out to mess up her self-esteem. Some guys in particular cross the line and start throwing soft insults and treating women like second-class human beings when they don’t deserve it.

The point is to make yourself stand out as socially valuable male and a challenge, not to make her feel bad. But used correctly, negging women is a powerful tool in your arsenal.

Update From The Author

I noticed that my post on negging “Negging Women – 10 Awesome Negs That Work” has drawn a lot of negative comments from women.

I understand the blowback.  I understand where some of you girls are coming from.  You see negging as a form of bullying or insults.

And most women are pretty sensitive to the idea of it, based on being bullied in real life.

Most women, particularly in high school, were teased, gossiped about, or bullied in some fashion – and usually from other women.  Pretty girls especially face negativity from their female friends, as pretty girls tend to hang in “pretty social circles” where there’s a lot of superficial cattiness, backstabbing, and competition.

Or even if you’ve never been bullied or teased yourself, you’ve seen the devastating effect it had on your classmates.  So naturally, you feel sympathy.

But anger at ‘negging’ is misplaced.

First, we are talking about a night club environment.  There’s lots of REJECTION involved, inherent to the environment.

And most of the rejection is aimed at the GUYS.

Haven’t either you or one of your friends ever ignore a guy?  Like, not even acknowledge his presence when he tried to talk to you.

It’s often pretty CRUSHING to the guy’s self-esteem that he isn’t given 10 seconds to acknowledge he’s another human being to talk to and say “hello”.  Ignoring a guy completely is much crueler than any neg a guy would dish.  (Like, “Hey girl!  You have some lint in your hair… look at that.”)

Then again, it’s a night club.  If a guy’s ego is so fragile, he shouldn’t go.

So please girls, if a guy told you that you had lint in your hair and that would “cut you down” or would “crush you”, and your ego is THAT fragile, then don’t go to night clubs!!  After all, the guys have to deal with MUCH WORSE from you girls!

In addition, Negs are for those glamour girls that have been spoiled all their lives by Daddy and have little sense of reality (like Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton for example).  These are the types of girls that enjoy shooting “nice guys” down.  It’s THAT kind of girl that negs are designed to attract.

So if you’re a normal-looking girl with a normal attitude, you probably will NEVER BE NEGGED in your life.  So for crying-out-loud, don’t worry about it.

Further consider that 99.9% of guys are SO damn nervous in clubs and bars that they can’t even approach a girl without wetting their briefs… let alone finding the balls to neg a pretty girl.

So don’t worry, it’s statistically unlikely to ever happen to you, even if you DO look like a runway model.  Most guys will never approach you, or they’ll just try to kiss your ass to get into your pants.  And that’s SO much better than those bad boys, right?

But since those guys are NOT a challenge in the slightest, they’re not attractive to you.  That’s why you blow them off.

That’s what a neg does – creates a challenge to the female.  That’s what attractive guys do.  And ANY guy you’ve ever fallen for, on some level, you had to chase HIM.  Every single guy you ever had a crush on made YOU chase HIM.

I know it’s simple to latch onto a cause, leave a comment, and feel like you’re serving justice in some small way by taking a stand against the 1 in 10,000 guys that have the balls to neg a girl like, “Hey girl!  It’s funny how your nose wiggles when you talk!”  But really, it’s an empty cause!

P.S. If you still disagree with this assessment, please leave a comment, I welcome all opinions!  :lol:

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  1. Emma

    Yeah…this article reminds me why I like to avoid most men. Gross.

  2. lawbelle

    nope. never have i had a crush on a guy i had to chase. not once. in my younger years i found it quite fun to be chased, and (unfortunately) to screw with the heads of guys using exactly the techniques you’ve laid out. that is why you think it works. because it makes sense to YOU, a male- who completely operates off challenges. a paris hilton or kim kardashian type would NOT respond to negging unless they just ignored it. never ever would any female who had actual value (isn’t that how you refer to it) would. and let me explain why:
    EVOLUTION. survival of the species. females seek a male who will care for them and their offspring. they also (according to studies) unconsciously seek strong healthy and intelligent males for clearly genetic purposes. negging doesn’t fit into any of those categories, as it is a social technique that should signal any woman that she is dealing with a social idiot who cannot have a real conversation, who cannot handle his shit without using a stupid psychological technique. my friends and i always laughed at it, and depending on whether we wanted our drinks paid for, we might use him for that since he clearly wanted to get laid so badly that we could use him. this is sadly true.
    your technique does not anger me, and i DO agree that no woman should equate such behavior with bullying- its words, designed to cause a certain negative psychological reaction. in that way, it is ineffective. it could never be as effective as words designed to cause a positive reaction. nobody would attempt to sell a product using this technique, for example- and if so they’d be the worse salesman in the universe.
    guys enjoy debate- and i’ve had plenty of ‘arguments’ with them in clubs over issues (political or historical, usually)- THOSE lead to positive reactions, if he actually manages to hold his own or in some way win (show that he has a brain in his head).
    your ‘negging’ is brainless. good looking women generally are smart as well (even if they pretend otherwise because the combination terrifies men) because of that evolution thing again, good genes are good genes. the ‘technique’ is transparent and thus repels women.
    if you want to get laid, there are much more efficient ways to do it.
    thanks for listening-

  3. anthony

    I get both sides. The facts as i’ve experienced it in my lifetime (49 years) is this…

    I’ve done it both ways… when i was between 10-16 I didn’t know sh*t… hence the little girls i “got” came on to me cause they were already damnnn aggressive, and, i was a guy whose looks, body held up its own. When i turned 16, i started looking around and that’s when girls were very often intimidated to approach me, and the ones that had the courage were the 5’s, 6’s, 7’s. Rarely higher than 7’s. I was about an 8.9 in some eyes, 9.9 in others, and a 6.9 in others. haha. Anyhow, i find it interesting that the average looking girls approached an attractive, popular guy quicker… there personalities where F*CKING AWESOME! And they were all friends with the 8’s, 9s, 10’s, and 11’s (Shout out to Spinal Tap). Okay, here’s the sad part… this really mind-f*cked me because between 16-20 i didn’t need to have my own personality to get laid or have girls.

    However, I caught on, when a below average looking friend of mine (GUY) would out scam me! He cocked-blocked me without any probs. Though, my looks would get the girls over. This guy went to work on the 9’s, 10’s and had them immediately.

    HOW?? I observed closely… he used one little “neg” that i think most women here would approve of.. cause it wasn’t so “NEG”…. He would target his girl, ask them to come over just for a second… (if they hadn’t already)… Actually going up to a girl ISN”T really that HOTTT of a move!…

    You can be ugly, but if you are at a good comfortable table, have other friends around and you make eye contact and shrug your shoulder and swing your arm, hand and finger pointed to something on the table and shrug her to come over, it insinuates that she’ll be able to remain standing (and can walk away anytime), her curiousity will bring her to wonder what you want her to see so bad, and, she’ll like that you took interest….

    Okay, so what’s the magic neg? Okay, girl comes over, her friends with her check her out leaving them, start wondering (social proof all of a sudden, she’s unique)….

    And, when she gets over to you, you ask her “I and NOW WE were Wondering WHY IS YOUR FACE STUCK ON SERIOUS?? Aren’t you FUN? OR is it this place that has you down?”

    SHE responds: uhhhh, serious? what? how? OR, even better….

    SHE responds: NO, what are you talking about, i’m in great spirits and have been laughing…..

    You say: “Hmm, well, was it real laughter, where you laughing to mix in, or what it really funny?”

    She says: “NO, i don’t fake laughter, it was really funny..’

    You say: COOL… i could use another good laugh tonight, what’s the story!? I’ll let you know if its funny with this (SMILE sort of)….

    Either, she goes for it, and sits down, now introductions are appropriate! However, get her name first…. HOW???

    Say to her… So, before you guess my name, were u given a name from a favorite soap opera character by your mom?

    She says, NO or YES: Have you always liked your name?

    She says: blah blah blah…. You say: I’m going to give you a great guess what it isn’t before you tell me!

    Your guess is: Paris Hilton??? ummm, Kim Kardashian

    Guys, girls, if she stays, you can do no wrong, unless, you are a real 1, 2, 2.9. If she doesn’t stay, you got an entire 50% chance, she or one of her friends will be back.

    You just stacked the odds of enriching this girls life by 75%. Everyone wins!

    That’s an example of a neg, that is a “nice” neg. If you’ve even wanted to attract a girl that you’ve known for a while or is with someone… you can use a nice neg like: Hmm, have you ever tried ‘peach’ colored liptick on those?

    She says: NO, don’t like that color, never have.

    You say: Oh, i guess an exotic color wouldn’t really work, yeah, do you think a girl needs fuller lips for peach?

    Repeat/Change: with Eyeshadow (u think a girl needs GREEN eyes to pull that off and you cant?) with nailpolish (u think a girl needs long slender fingers to pull that off?)
    Hairstyle: etc….. etc…. u get it.

    See girls, it isn’t all bad. Any guys that really want to go through all these lessons and tribulations to attract you aren’t that bad after all, they’ll probably be the best guys you ever know… also, you’re in the door, now get them hooked!

    thanks. my two cents.

    • anthony

      oh, just use ONE neg! No need for more in this case.

      • Anonymous

        regarding why not the best idea to approach… counterintuitive, right? just another addendum… due respect, many pua urge the male to be an “alpha male” and go get ‘em. Think for a second to the animal kingdom. The approach thing is taught to us as an alpha thing because of “Natural Selection” processes.

        The reality is right under our noses isn’t it?! You ever watch the animal shows on Discovery, or Disney, natgeo, etc…. It’s the “plumage”, “song”, “dominance” of the male. Birds, Lions, Gorillas… all the same…. the females approach them. The fems are equiped emotionally in our human world, physically too, instinctually… to see their best match for a mate within seconds even at a distance.

        They don’t go immediately to them, because their instincts say to them, they need to weed out those who don’t fit them, by seeing who approaches them first. Think, they can’t go to every guy in the room and reject them… they need every guy in the room to eliminate themselves by approaching them.

        There you go. Additionally, it’s logic, females must differentiate their mates from others less suited, because it’s a huge physical and life commitment for them, SO contrary to popular belief, they are programmed to be more promiscous (if you will), they are programmed to be more dynamic in hunting for mates and active. NOT PASSIVE.

        Men (and the more suited they are and alpha) will be MORE PASSIVE! Sit back and wait for them to come… Why? Because, it’s cheaper for us. Less energy, and we have unlimited “eggs” don’t we? SO, even if its a false security; we figure we have all day, all week, all month, all year, all our life to mate and score a child. And guess what…. isn’t that true? I see plenty, dumpy, fugly, short, fat, NOT RICH, balding guys and now older guys, with someone… they found someone to have a family with.

        She who is able to identify the best mate (which is you of course) will automatically qualify herself by approaching you instead.

        A womans window is somewhat shortlived, so they gotta speed up this thing before the window closes on beauty, health, fertility…. etc….

  4. Intense

    Wow, this is heated. Why can’t we just say if it works, it works. If the guy wants to be an asshole and the girl responds positively, hurray for them. If she thinks he’s a douche bag for it, the dudes not getting laid. Everyone uses tactics when going out, women typically use make-up and clothes to attract men. Men have to use conversation and classic good looks.

  5. Anonymous

    Why do you feel beautiful women are obligated to speak to you?

  6. Anonymous

    just so you all know, this is actually really emotionally abusive, and if you have to stoop this fucking low to talk to a girl, it probably means that you’re uninteresting and not all that great looking either. so you know, congrats on being disgusting and pathetic!

    • Anonymous

      You sound like you could do with being pulled down a notch.

  7. Wow

    “The same holds true for beautiful women – even more so. Their whole reality is based on having power and having acceptance and adoration through their good looks. Take that away and their whole reality crumbles and they’ll do anything to get it back.”

    This isn’t true – believe it or not a woman can have more going for her than her looks and others’ reactions to them. And she can certainly care way more about those other things. No one would ever make a comment like that one about really good-looking men, because it’s assumed they have other things going for them and that they care more about those things. Also, you ARE reacting to her appearance by making some pathetic, pre-emptive attempt to prove you’re good enough.

    • Anonymous

      Ha! Bullshit.

  8. Jani

    Wotta douche.

  9. Anonymous

    negging is not bullying. It’s manipulation.. Trying to make some one feel something or purposely lowering her status to raise your own apparently low status is psychopathic narcissistic behavior. I am not “runway”pretty yet I have experienced this with many men. It’s fun to play with them as they are rarely able to deal with my subtle insults due to their low self esteem I have never fucked a guy who negged me. This is a way to bed stupid girls with low self-worth. Smart confident women are MUCH better in bed. But you need the self-confidence to match her. She won’t mess with a negger.

  10. Female

    Personally, I would feel flattered by some of these neggs and I’d assume the guy was kidding with some others. Rainbow Brite was super hot! The one about the shoes not matching would make me think whoever is using that negg is a homosexual or takes fashion waaay too seriously. And by the way, negging is still giving a girl attention. Mildly insulting a hot chick would not work because she would be used to being insulted by folks who are jealous or annoyed that she wouldn’t sleep with them. You gotta realize that girls get hate all the time, hot or not.

  11. Anonymous

    My question is, just because a woman is “hot” or “pretty”, why would a guy assume that she thinks she is “all that” and deserves to get negged? Is it because they have in the past encountered hot, but bitchy girls, so in order to get revenge on those girls, it’s ok to insult other girls who had nothing to do with said bitchiness?

    Another thing I find perplexing is the idea that it’s better to “neg” a girl than to be rejected by them. So in order to avoid the rejection, you insult them right off the bat, not knowing whether or not they will reject you in the first place? And the phrase “take them down a peg” chills my spine. It’s sounds so full of hate, especially since you don’t know the woman.

    Finally, this talk about rejection puzzles me as well. So if a guy goes up to girl, and she declines any offers, does that make her a bad person? Is she supposed to have sex with every guy who goes up to her? I don’t understand this sense of entitlement where a guy thinks that a girl should accept his offer, and if she doesn’t, she’s a stuck-up bitch who thinks she’s too good for everyone.

    Let me ask guys this…would you like it if people implied that you had to say “yes” and sleep with every woman who approached you…even the ones you think are loud, unattractive, undesirable? No, you wouldn’t. So why should a woman hook up with every man who approached her, just to avoid being thought of as stuck up or bitchy?

    A woman can decide who she wants to be with, and so can a man. If one doesn’t like the other for whatever reason, then just move on.

    There is no need to insult a woman just because you “think” she might be stuck up and reject you.

  12. Vallin SFAS

    That John Houseman was a master neg (‘Paper Chase’). Bogart also great, especially in ‘Casablanca’. Win through intimidation.

    • Vallin SFAS

      And don’t forget James Mason in ‘Lolita’. Ends justify the means, eh?

  13. Anonymous

    Wow so many comments, and ppl cant handle the concept of “negging” lol…relax ppl, have you ever teased someone in a playful way or made “fun” of your friends in a playful way that they know is not your attempt at being mean? This is sort of like that…remember you are delivering this at a club where everyone is socializing and having fun…don’t take it so serious (unless you’re insecure, you might)!!!! This article is spot on.

    • Johnny_B

      Agreed. I think that most people who come here to criticize negging and heap hate upon the author are socially awkward loners who have little experience with social situations.

      • Anonymous

        Well, the males, maybe. The women are just used to centuries of making others look bad in order to make themselves appear the better catch for the local nobleman.

  14. Anonymous

    I find this pretty disgusting. I mean holy crap your attitude towards women is that their social value is entirely dependent on their physical appearance. A quote to illustrate my point:

    “Negging women is ideal for really hot girls – 8s, 9s, and 10s. For an average girl (6s, 7s), you don’t want to use value zingers. All you need to do is demonstrate social value – you don’t need to lower hers. Hers wasn’t that high to begin with.”

    I love that you have to bring women DOWN to your level. You’re a fucking slimeball.

    • Anonymous

      Are you offended that he won’t be wasting his time on a 4 such as yourself?

  15. SexyConfidentWoman

    See its bullshit like this that makes romance and true love so difficult to find………..Where art thou sugar plum?……

  16. Anjel

    …..is this really what we have come to? The idea of courtship beginning with such things as misleading insults?

    I thought it impossible for me to have less faith in humanity. I see that I was wrong.

  17. James

    i’ve read through all of the 189 comments so far on this page and my take on the topic is this.

    from a sensitive insecure mans point of view.

    you’ve all been there, you’ve been hurt and it has hurt for years on end, especially if it’s the girl next door, so to speak.

    That has left some scars, we all know about scars, some run deeper than others, mainly they leave bruises and holes in our confidence, in the end, we are shattered every time someone rejects us, it may seem to the rejector to be a “nice” letdown, but this is about communication, not rejection.

    In a 2 way communication, who determines the value of the message?
    i can give you a hint, it’s NOT the sender.

    So everytime you reject someone who is a nice guy, who is the sensitive type that a lot of women say they are looking for, for whatever reason you want to give, too short, too fat, too skinny, too-not-my-boyfriend.
    You take a sledgehammer to their confidence.

    Some might say ”GOOD, you got what you deserve you pitiful little shite” but where were your wish to find the guy?

    I’m not saying that everytime you go out, you’re looking to find the guy, i’m saying, if you’re looking for a guy, where do you set the standard? What values do you look for? and where do you leave an opening in your armor for the nice guy to approach you?

    I havent tried this negging technique and i eventhough i’m tempted to see if it’ll get me a conversation, it’s more the psycological aspect of it that interests me.

    For instance.
    You remember the movie ”10 things i hate about you?” did you notice it in the bar/club scene?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=qGIlIj8PGF4#t=83
    how about the bar scene in ”hitch”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IShHOub-PO0

    Did you notice what happened there?
    It’s the same thing as what is described in the book called ”the game”.

    Someone who has their guards up, had to lower the bridge because, they were brought into a zone of not-being-chased-so-obviously and when you’re not being chased, you can relax for a moment.
    It’s basic fight or flight.

    The negging idea is a way of bringing a man into the attention zone of a woman with her guards up.
    The reason why the guard is up is simple and yet so complex that we wont go into that now.

    What this is, is a tool for those who have been shot down so many times, that they are on the verge of giving up, people who have been hurt so much, (please remember, they have, we all have) that their ”good guy nature” is being a hinderens for them.

    Now what i mainly hear women complain about in this thread and you’re going to hate me for it, is this:
    The motivation of the guy using the tecnique.
    Some go for the hoo-haa, others go for the girl, some go for the thrill.
    Whatever it is, you can’t show a girl how wonderful you really are, if she blows you out of the sea before you’ve even said a word.

    Every person on this planet wants to be loved in some sense or other, be it love-love, be it approval, be it being right(these people loves them selves more than anything and that’s their high).

    But there’s no chance in hell to show someone that you might be the best thing in their life, if you can’t even get a word in to start the conversation.

    So you might be upset on behalf of your gender, so are these guys who tries this tecnique, it’s their genepool not having a chance to get passed on due to rules set up by nature, society, women.

    This tool levels the chances a bit and depending on the motives of each person out there, it’ll leave you with a good or bad moral and ethical feeling.

    Women does this as well, the difference is, you do it clothing, makeup, hairstyles, small purses, accessories, high heels, you push your own image out there in order to attract someone who can afford to keep you with the way you’re dressed.
    You may think ”but asshole, i’m only wearing this dress because i like the way i look in it”
    I say, you’re wearing this dress because on the subconsius level, you want attention, your body is looking for action, but your mind has these criterias which blocks it, that’s more than fine. Why lower your standards?
    But why set the standards so high that you have to jump to be able to see your feet?

    Try this experiment:
    Next time you go out on a night, wear a burlap cloth bag insted of a nice dress, frizzle your hair and smear some dirt on your face.
    The purpose of the experiment is to strike up a conversation and keep it going for at least 5 minutes.

    Count the number of men who tries to pick you up over a period of 2 hours.
    If no one approaches you within the first 30 minutes, you start to approach some of them.
    Count the number again, where you get a positive feedback within the first 3 minutes of conversation.

    Then go change into your war-makeup and put on your nice dress, that you would have worn anyways and fix your hair.

    Then repeat the experiment, if no one approaches you, you approach them.

    Compare the 4 numbers and the successrate based on each outfit and approach style.
    Im not sure, but i think you’ll do best where you approach with full makeup and nice dress.

    Why this experiment?
    Because where you get blown off, you had no chance, they will never know what a wonderful person you are and if that holds true, that a great deal of beautiful people actually are beautiful wrecks on the inside, why do they treat people like that?

    I still say,if you’re smart enough to notice when a guy attempts this on you, why are you pissed of?
    It’s a clear indicator to you that he has an interest in you and that he’s trying to get your attention so you can notice him.
    You are aware of this tecnique and you can blow him out of the water any time you want, so why are you so angry? Are you affraid that you’re not going to be the unique snowflake of his true heart?
    Are you upset that he has the audacity to contact you?
    Or are you upset about a shift in power? That it does not lie with you the entire time?

    Women claim that men rule the world and to that i say: ”oh my god, you are kidding yourself and pulling the victim card”. Men are not ruling the world, unless the man is gay, you women do, because in the end this is about getting our genepool passed on.
    If you shut your snapper, then there’s no passing on his pool and he can be the riches man in the world, if he’s not passed on his genes, he has wasted his life.

    Like it or not, we are animals and how you decide to act, increases or decreases your chances on passing on your genes, it’s hardcoded into you, the same way that it’s hardcoded into you that breathing is not something you can stop doing by will alone, the second you pass out, your body takes over and it starts to breathe again.

    TL;DR
    let them have their tool, it gives them a chance, if you’re upset about this and you can recognize the comeons and you don’t want to give him a chance, you are in no worse state then you were before he opened his mouth.
    Nothing has changed for you, but it has for him, so get over the idea that power lies with the hoohaa and have a good time.

    • Anonymous

      With a brain as switched on as yours, why are you still insecure?

  18. Anonymous

    hummmmmmmmm Nope ! those negs won’t work

  19. Dana

    Please tell me this article is some kind of a joke because I don’t see how this tactic is going to work on women.

    Seriously, guys, don’t listen to this article because all negging will do is make you look like a douchebag.

  20. Leila

    Yeah no dont do this its so fake. When guys try this shit on me I can tell immediately and it just makes me think they’re a douche

  21. Been Around The Block

    Negging has always been an interesting concept with me. I do absolutely believe it works but it has to be done correctly.

    There’s a lot of criticism going around on the concept about how it’s only used for guys who are insecure. And I ask…so? What’s wrong with being insecure? With the way some of the younger ladies of today have called the shots in the so-called dating world, I could see easily how guys feel insecure. I could easily see how THEY long for commitment. The roles have changed. So, you have to adapt and not everyone is born with the social skills to adapt, so they have to consult something or someone else.

    A “neg” is a borderline tease. It’s a way of showing the girl who’s always thought she was perfect and could do no wrong (because every man in her life told her so) does indeed have flaws. And yes, ladies, you have do have flaws – both physically and mentally – OH NO INSECURITY! Yep. Same exact thing. Except I’m not criticizing any of you for being insecure.

    A great neg is something like if a girl were to say to you “Ugh. You’re such a tease/ass/jerk (flirty context),” you could say “Eh. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been called that.” Every time I say it, they laugh because it’s humorous. Girls are looking for a reaction out of the men they interact and size up. A “neg” doesn’t give them what they want and, in essence, teases them. THAT’S the idea. To tease. Teasing has always worked with attracting women, even in the bedroom. When you have something and it’s taken away, even for a second, when you get it back it’s that much better – even if that itself is a placebo.

  22. Caroline

    Hey,

    I understand why you advocate this practice, but seriously don’t. I know you think it’s harmless, and I know you think all pretty glamour girls you’re aiming your insults at are super confident, but you’re wrong. The prettiest girls I know are a mess. They feel guilty for being beautiful, they can’t handle the jealousy, so they want to believe they are ugly. They want to prove they’re just like their jealous friends, but deep down they know they’re pretty. They feel so bad about having won the genetic lottery, they don’t want to admit to be pretty because they know they’ll get called arrogant and they’ll be ostracised and hated. So they probably end up confused, even doubting whether they are arrogant, or even delusional. Maybe they are ugly? At the sae tie they know a girl that isn’t outwardly confident is half as attractive. So they internalise the whole struggle and pretend nothing’s going on. Then some guy comes along, and he subtly tells them: you aren’t that special, you’re delusional, what are you even struggling with , you’re not worth it. It’s subtle so they can’t really talk about it, they don’t notice he’s doing it, but they do know they feel even worse about themselves.
    Who would do that to anyone? Who would do that to a girl they’re interested in dating? What kind of relationship would come out of it? A miserable, slightly unhinged girl and a controlling guy don’t make good partners or a good relationship. I know it seems like I’m blowing things out of proportion but please, at least think about it. Why make someone you like feel worse?

    • Anonymous

      “A miserable, slightly unhinged girl and a controlling guy don’t make good partners or a good relationship.”
      That’s actually roughly the foundation of our existence as we know it.

  23. Anonymous

    When are you going to realize this does not work on intelligent women. Instead you make yourself look like an idiot. An image that is very hard to change since we walk away.

    • Anonymous

      Not intelligent enough to read and comprehend the article, though.

  24. wow. just wow.

    This site. Is just insane. Everyone is getting so worked up. Ok go to the basics. Guys, if treating a woman with kindness and respect doesn’t work then MOVE ON. She might not be interested, or is a jerk on the inside. Just think her loss, and move on to a REAL woman. Girls, if a guy negs you and you find it insulting then ignore him! Find somone who treats you with more respect. Love happens when a man and a woman love what’s on the inside. I would know, I love my husband and think he’s the best looking, sweetest man alive and he thinks I’m the most beautiful woman alive. I don’t think I am, I’ve had so many people say I’m ugly. But. Love is blind. So you’ll fall in love many times but there’s only one true person out there for you.

    Also for men AND women just looking for sex, seriously. Go find each other and do whatever. Theres a lot of assholes in the world that’s just how its going to be. For the respectful people out there, you can’t stop them no matter what you say. Just voicing my opinion.

  25. Beast McMan

    Womanses on here seem to be getting angry. Good work men, keep stirring those emotions. They can’t help but defend their egos.

    To all the “bitches” (not all women are) who respond with narcissistic hostility: “Your ego is showing…and it smells like desperation. You haven’t been laid in YEARS, have you?”

  26. jdbug

    So, like you say in your extension, negging is a form of getting back at women? Every descent girl would politely decline a guy if she wasn’t interested; not totally ignore him. Everyone stop being so mean to each other, men and women.

  27. Anonymous

    A guy tried this type of thing on me once as well as some other idiotic pickup techniques.
    I ended up just mirroring it back at him. And then I took him home and pegged him. Didn’t even take my clothes off.
    It was fucking hilarious.
    He called me and begged for more the next day, and I was going to give in, but then I got a call from someone purporting to be his girlfriend.

    Negging is for boys who see women as objects to be obtained instead of human beings and I feel no guilt for just firing the techniques back and using them for my own purposes, since they’ve already proven themselves to be douchey.
    If you can’t have self esteem without tearing other people down, then you should probably try therapy instead of pick up artist techniques, or you might get talked into being anally violated and then have trouble explaining to future partners that you love it.

  28. David

    Wow, this article is fucking disgusting. What a disgraceful representation of the male population.

  29. Deacon Blues

    Neg theory is being grossly misrepresented here in the comments. Anyone who is being hurtful or insulting in their use of neg theory is improperly applying the approach and needs to re-evaluate. Part of the problem lies in the terminology, as neg theory (as it was originally intended) is not meant to be inherently “negative”.

    Neg theory, in lowest common terms, is expressing interest in an unconventional way; a way that’s distinguished from the typical approach of throwing around gratuitous compliments and hoping for the best. Remember that girl you had a crush on in 2nd grade? Neg theory is getting her attention by playfully tugging at her pig tails in the recess line up instead of telling her how cute she looks.

    Let’s be realistic: guys who approach women in a social setting and use neg theory are still expressing interest and jockeying for attention. As men, we generally aren’t in the habit of striking up a conversation with a woman we’re not attracted to for the sole purpose of telling her that her tan leather shoes remind us of our grandmother.

    Common sense, guys: Any self respecting woman is not going to find herself strangely compelled because you told her that her skirt made her look fat. If you -do- meet a woman who finds that sort of thing attractive, then I suggest that you stay far, far away. If you’re the sort of guy who relies on insulting or degrading women to attract them, then you should reevaluate your goals and decide what you’re really looking for in courtship.

  30. Anonymous

    This is so embarrassing. A woman isn’t interested so you resort to playground games? I am cringing.

  31. Oh PLEASE

    Give me a break. Any woman with half a brain sees through this–I hear stories about it all the time, and I’ve had guys try it on me. It’s totally transparent, and a total dickhead move. You don’t want a loving relationship if you’re using negging; you want someone to worship you at your feet. Pig.

    No woman with any self respect would ever go for a guy who insulted her, even in the smallest of ways.

  32. Colette

    Here is an idea; why don’t you just consider treating us all like human beings and drop the games. If a woman is shitty to you, why is your answer to treat her poorly so she will react and magically become attracted to you? The logic is twisted and sad. Talk to people who like to talk to you. Stop choosing to see it as some game. And most of all, stop viewing women in the lens of that game. See other people are people. The end.

  33. Ho-lee Shiiiiiiit.

    I clicked on this article out of curiosity…I find it hilarious that the list of comments is bigger than the article.

  34. Reason

    Also, men who are reading this and who actually think it’s a good idea, here’s a question I will pose to you: are you constantly rejected romantically by women? If so, like with other external “symptoms,” it’s probably a sign of an underlying “cause.” Instead of reading trash like this, you should probably wonder *why* you’ve been having difficulties.

    Do you have confidence and self-esteem? Do you care about various phenomenon in the world? Do you like connecting with others? Do you have a developed sense of empathy (If you believe any of this above article is a “good idea,” I’d assume “no”)? Do you think you’re interesting to talk to in the way you currently present yourself? Are you looking for a partner for the right reasons? Are you happy with yourself and with your current paths (career, academic, personal, etc)? How do you approach women – do you talk to them as people, or as *women?* Talking so someone as an “other” is a sure way to make them not want to speak to you. When you speak to them, what are you speaking about? Does it seem like you’re just trying to talk to someone because she’s female with nothing more behind it, or is it because of some type of common interest or something you’re genuinely curious about? (i.e.: politics, science, fitness, food, etc).

    In short, if you really are truly routinely “rejected,” try questioning what you even mean by “rejected.” Likewise, look at yourself and where you think you can improve yourself, honestly evaluating who you are and how you come off. Don’t act like a child who can’t take any responsibility or self-reflection.

  35. Reason

    Thank you for this comment. I wonder where all of these men that believe stuff like the above article come from? I live in NYC and sometimes the club scene and the way men act in there make me want to cry. I like to “go out” with my friends sometimes – not for sexual reasons (though that would be fine), but because I really like being with my friends and I want to live life to its fullest and enjoy people’s company, dancing, good food and drinks, art, and basically all that the city has to offer. I have a boyfriend who I’m deeply in love with and who I will probably marry one day. Yet, whenever I go out to clubs or bars with my girlfriends, it’s a bit absurd what certain (not all) men expect. The way they try to speak to you, the nausea-inducing “compliments” that are basically like saying “hi I’m slimy and am interested in emotionless bad sex for status purposes,” and the continuous objectification and coercion is ridiculous. And people are completely undeterred when you say that you have a boyfriend, or are in a serious relationship – quite the opposite! If anything, it makes this sort more “persistent.” Or they decide to start insulting my boyfriend who they have never met. Of course, not all men, nor all men at clubs, are like that. But those who are really make it a pain for those of us just trying to have a good time without having to be on the defense.

  36. Anonymous

    Why do you need this method? Can you just not handle that some women genuinely do not want to be with you? Because I’m sorry boys, but I have some news for you– no woman has to be attracted to you. You aren’t ENTITLED to have a woman sleep or be with you, and those who otherwise would will more likely than not be absolutely turned off by you being a manipulative jerk just to get them in bed.

    So let me ask you all this– if a woman, beautiful or not (which is a stupid thing to say, because a woman’s value is not in her physical appearance, if that’s all you’re looking at, you don’t deserve to have a woman in the first place) approached you and began to passive-aggressively insult you, clearly in the name of damaging your self-esteem so you’d sleep with them, would you feel appreciated? Would you feel like you were being treated with respect? No. You wouldn’t.

    • Anonymous

      That argument doesn’t make sense, because it is the male that need to prove himself to the female.
      This is the way it works for every single animal on this planet; Humans are no exception, as much as people might want to believe we are “evolved” we are not any different in our form, only in our extent of said form.

  37. Anonymous

    You say that average-looking girls will never be neg’d outside of a nightclub? Then you’ve never been on the receiving end of a guy who learns how to neg a girl from a website called ‘Seduction Science.com’ and then goes out to try to pick up women in this way.

    Men who need to be told how to approach women who are ‘8s, 9s or 10s’ are going to use that approach everywhere on every woman, and they’re going to use it because it’s advertised as ‘a foolproof way to get a woman’s attention’.

  38. Kristina

    Ha – the last time I was negged, I kicked the guy in the knee. He didn’t do it again.

    • Anonymous

      Did he hurt you physically in return? Equal rights for women and all that.

  39. shotaiken

    This “negging” concept makes me thankful I’m an asexual lesbian.

    • Just saying...

      Being a lesbian implies that you have sexual urges (towards women in this case), therefore you cannot be asexual, in which case you wouldn’t have said urges.

  40. Anon

    YAWN.

    The idea that you need to “take women down a peg” because getting rejected just hurts so much is pathetic.

    The difference? You’re *walking up to a woman* to insult her in order to fuck her. When a guy is rejected – he’s initiating contact.

    When I walk away from a guy or don’t give him the time of day, it’s for two reasons:

    1. I just want to be left alone and I get called a “bitch” if I try to say this. So I just don’t say anything.
    2. The guy was creepy and I felt threatened. Shut up if you don’t take that seriously, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten bruises in clubs from people grabbing my ass. It’s not a joke.

    That being said – if someone was actively talking to me and said something about my roots showing, I’d honestly probably just laugh and insult them back. Because I’m a grown up and can handle playfulness.

    But that’s only if the intention is playful.

    If your intention is to knock women down a peg to fuck them – you’re pathetic. End of story.

  41. You get what you deserve.

    Hi Jesse, I’ve been reading the comments from all these females & their anger is fucking hilarious! I dont think they get it… when a woman has been a bitch to you why wouldnt you treat her like the p.o.s. she is?! lol JUST LIKE THEY WOULD DO TO A GUY WHO DID THE SAME THING! Whenever Ive been turned down by a “hot” chick it goes 1 of 2 ways… either A:She looks at me with disgust as if to say “Why are you speaking to me?” or B: She does it in a respectful, polite way ie:”Sorry I have a bf, Im not interested.” In the case of B Im not at all offended or upset & why?! because she still treated me like I was a human being & was nice about it. THAT woman does NOT deserve to be treated poorly as she was still treating me like I am a person, not like Im sub-human. But as far as “A” goes, fuck her! You treat me like Im “less than” & guess what bitch its gonna come right back! But instead of openly insulting you which is EASY AS FUCK TO DO! Especially to a female. ie: “ya know before you go around insulting me or others you might want to call the street dept. & have them come fill in the potholes on your ass & thighs!” <– My own insult that I came up with to destroy a bitch who has just tried to destroy me. So instead of that crap if youre a bitch to me & I think your shell is still worth fucking then Im gonna try to fuck & chuck you. If it works great! & another laugh for me! If not o-well at least I dont/wont have to put up with this bitchy person! In reality I WAS truely a nice guy but not the pussy whipped little bitch boy nice guy & still I got walked on by most females I wouldve been a great guy to but they chose to go after a douche who didnt give a shit about them & would use the crap described all over this site to manipulate them & trick them before shitting on them & none of these idiots could ever figure out why! Neither could I so I started looking into it & BEHOLD! lol after reading several articles on this site it all makes sense now (well truthfully I still, for the life of me, cant figure out why but it seems to work so…). So ladies… if your the type of female who treats guys like shit then fuck you bitch how do you expect to be treated any differently?! & if youre not this way then you shouldnt be treated like this. It all comes down to, You get what you deserve, In case B I said sorry I didnt mean any disrespect & walked away. In B many (not all but enough!) were then subjected to the fuck ya & chuck ya treatment which I never wouldve done had they at the very least treated me like I was a human being. If you arent interested in me thats fine! Just dont try to belittle me or try to make me feel inferior as thats when the asshole side of me will emerge to show you that you aint shit either! Heres an exercise for the ladies: The next time some guy that youre not interested in comes up to talk to you, treat him like hes a human being & say no thank you in a way that doesnt leave him feeling like hes not even worthy enough to step outside his house ie:dont give him a fucked up look just say you have a bf & your happy with him so youre not interested. Even if you dont it should make him go away & free you up for someone elses attention! Now if he still wont leave you alone then grow a pair of pussy lips & be a WOMAN! Tell him "Look I already told you Im not interested so please leave me alone." or just tell him to fuck off! If he didnt get it the 1st time then he gets what he deserves! & as far as 1 post asking how all of this is right, (this websites info etc…) TECHNICALLY its not BUT… If this is what you fucking fools are going to respond to & since the guy ALL OF YOU have ALWAYS SAID YOU WANTED, (ie: the nice guy.) isnt good enough for you then why wouldnt we use these types of tactics to hook up with you? Maybe… juuuust maybe if you hadnt been such a "Im too good for you" type of person then this type of shit wouldnt be happening to you. (should I say "DUH" now or is that common knowledge at this point?!) Also, Jesse I have a question for you but Ill put that on my next post. 1 last thing before I end this one though… I truly was a good, nice guy, not the bitch boy mind you, but I still treated my gfs with dignity, equality, & respect. I treated them like women rather than little girls, like an equal rather than my little sub-serviant slave bitch (ie: "Hey honey will you get me a drink/sandwich/pipe & slippers etc…) & still I was fucked over for complete douchebags who ended up destroying them emotionally/mentally & sometimes physically. WHY?! why the fuck would you choose that over being treated with respect? But since they did & thats ALL Im seeing today then fuck it… If its a douchebag asshole that treats them like theyre a subserviant piece of shit that they want then I guess its time to say goodbye to who I really am & become the uncaring dick they flock to. Thank you Jesse for helping me & other guys like me who, even if we really dont want to be this way, are now able to figure out how to get these dumbshit whores to stop treating us like crap. Now we'll see how they like it! & yes I know how much of an asshole I am per this post but if it wasnt for ALL of you lying/thieving/cheating slut whores who just lead guys along till you fuck them over I & many others wouldnt HAVE to be this way. You females dug your own grave with this shit & now you dont like it?! Well tough shit!

    • You get what you deserve.

      In my above statement I meant to say In the case of A* not B as B was not fucked & chucked I simply got the hint & walked away. My bad for putting the B in the place of A. The A types are the ones I either walk away from or try to fuck & chuck.

    • Cassy

      Some dumb-ass tried negging me the other night, but I saw right through him. I wasn’t ignoring him or being an arrogant bitch, just politely flirting with him. He must have mistaken my modesty for low self-esteem. Negging doesn’t work on a smart girl who knows she’s a 10 and too good for you. All you’ll ever get this way is a dumb girl who’s as cheap and easy and vulnerable as you pathetic losers. It’s not a compliment to be hit on by a tactless, desperate man-whore, it’s an insult. Only after I caught on to his game, that’s when I started ignoring him and he had the nerve to call me “shy.” Yeah right. It’s called having self-respect and standards. I’m so glad I’m me.

      If a woman treats you like shit and ignores you, you men are the ones getting what you deserve. Don’t blame us for learning that the only way to get you to leave us alone is to not acknowledge your presence. If a woman so much as discusses the weather with you, you think it’s a sexual invitation. If she rebuffs your advances after talking with you, you think she’s a tease who was leading you on and you hold it against her, instead of taking the conversation for what it was–a conversation. So why would a woman engage with you in the bare minimum of polite conversation when you think she’s a whore for being polite?

      If a woman tells you coyly she doesn’t dance, she’s trying to let you down easy and save you the embarrassment of a blunt rejection. So take the hint and back off and let her make the next move. Give her the credit of knowing what she does and doesn’t want. Don’t go on to attempt more explicit advances as if she was just too dense to recognize your earlier, more subtle ones. If a girl starts ignoring you, it’s not because she’s a bitch who hates nice guys, it’s because you refused to acknowledge her subtle refusals and kept on making advances. A woman who’s had to put up with men like you has learned that you’ll never accept anything less than an insult for “no.”

      Here’s a piece of advice for impressing high-class women. The first refusal is a test to see if you can respect her as a grown woman who knows what she does and doesn’t want. She’s testing if you have the self-confidence to accept refusal gracefully. She’s testing if you’re not some power-hungry control freak who can’t let a woman do the pursuing. When she refuses you the first time, no matter how subtly, respect that and give her space, but still be friendly with her and don’t act all butt-hurt, ignore her, neg her, or insult her intelligence by being more forward and making more advances. What she really wants is for you to let her make the next move. If you can do that, the first refusal need not be a rejection.

      Also, if you go around flirting with and sucking face with every other girl at a party in order to try to show how desirable you are before hitting on the 10, and brag to her about how experienced you are, it doesn’t impress her. It only cheapens you and makes her lose respect for you. Don’t you lose respect for a woman who does the same? The key to understanding women is to understand men. We’re the same species, after all.

      Except for one thing. There’s one real difference between men and women. I can’t understand the enjoyment you get out of “fucking and chucking.” What perverse pleasure do you get out of using someone you don’t appreciate? It must be because men see sex as a conquest. Men are so easy, there’s no victory in it for a female. I bet that makes you feel powerful as men, but here’s the truth behind it. Men need pussy in order to feel validated as men. Women don’t need cock for validation. That’s why you hate us so. And that’s why negging only works on vulnerable little girls. If you have to resort to negging, you’re a little boy who’s given up on yourself completely as a man worthy of a woman and are only looking out for revenge. I pity you.

      Nice guy. HA! That’s what men call themselves when they’re too socially inept to even realize how much of a jerk they really are. The only one you’re fooling is you.

      • Mason

        Cassy, first of all, if you’re a 10, pics or gtfo. Just kidding; you’re on to the negging game so I’ll try to spit a different game for you.

        I can, however, tell you right off the bat that your awful feminine-solipsistic worldview ensures that you could never be a 10. A 9.5, possibly, but I doubt you put in the time that is required to maintain that level. Oh, sorry. I said I wouldn’t neg you. Moving on.

        Let me take you at your word that when _you_ politely refuse an advance from a guy, that in your mind the correct answer to that shit test is accept the rejection, and then slink away, emasculated, with your dick between your legs. I don’t believe that a man who would do that is the kind of man that a high class woman *should* want to date (why would you want to date a wimp?) but let’s just say that, unlike ~95% of the women I’ve fucked, you actually do know what you want.

        Even so.

        You are not qualified to speak for all “high class” women. Not at all. Different women respond well to different things. Most hot women respond well to assertiveness and ostentatious display of ballsiness. For most hot women, the correct answer to the shit test of soft rejection is to try harder. And by “correct”, I don’t mean it is what women such as your self SAY THEY WANT. I mean it is what they ACTUALLY RESPOND TO.

        And that is the basis of game. We are empiricists. We do what WORKS. We give zero fucks about what your crazy, horomone addled, female sexual hypergamy mating circuit SAYS that it wants. We go with actually works. And yes, that’s a statistical thing. All players know that this is a numbers game. Nothing we do works on everyone. In fact, most game is basically about having the balls to endure rejection from women like you who incorrectly believe that you are better than us.

        Negging is amazingly effective. AMAZINGLY EFFECTIVE. God, woman, if only you could see it in action. It is a sip from the golden chalice of wisdom. The purest distilled essence of truth. The pith instruction in the high art of seduction. Women are attracted to men that they perceive to be of high status. Subtly framing a conversation so that the woman is in a position of qualifying her value to the man is one of the best ways to position yourself as a higher status mate. It mentally short circuits her value estimation circuits: if she is trying to prove herself to the man, then he must be worth it after all. It may not be true, but that doesn’t matter to the lizard brain inside of your head which makes your hoohaa tingle and which ultimately decides which men you sleep with. It only matters to the moralizing cunt in your forebrain which rationalizes those choices ex-post-facto in terms of morally acceptable criterion in mate choice.

  42. lol

    Lol. This is so dumb. If a guy broke into a conversation between me and someone I knew with this shit, I’d laugh in his face. Or an acquaintance or friend. This is disgusting because it is used on young ladies with self esteem issues. No one with real self confidence reacts by becoming enamored with someone who talks to them like this.

  43. Rachel

    “Trying too hard” is a turn-off. Walking up to me and telling me I’m so pretty is not a great way to start a conversation cause I’ve heard it 50,000 times before. Say something meaningful. Telling me I have lint in my hair is fine, I’ll laugh that off (and not at all feel ‘taken down’) – if you say something more blatantly insulting, I will probably insult you back and win.

    WRT “Rejection vs Negging” – Rejection is a part of life. People walking around hitting on random strangers are literally asking for rejection. A lot of us would rather not reject you, but you left us no choice, since we can’t practically sleep with every single “nice guy” who comes along! (Then get called a slut!) That’s the price you pay to play. Don’t like it? Cash out your chips. However, negging someone is something you choose to just walk up and do. Good for you, asshole.

    A certain amount of honest asshole dude “not trying to impress you” is attractive, if it is in a way that feels genuine/real – probably not, at least on me, as a “technique” to get my attention. Attractive women get ALL KINDS of attention, seems to be the forgotten thing here, and all attention IS attention. If you’re trying to get me to talk to you, you’re interested in SOMETHING, it doesn’t really matter what you’re saying – and I know that. If you’re making weird comments I probably think you’re socially inept – whether they are flattering or about the lint in my hair.

    I also think the absolute worst defense was “I understand the ladies are pissed off about this but don’t worry it probably won’t even happen to you, the dudes who read this article are too scared to do it!” …. No, this is advice you are giving, you either stand behind it or you don’t. Besides, if they’re doing it right, we won’t even be able to tell, right? Just a casual comment that we won’t even consciously register, but that’ll make us feel less like we’re calling the shots.

    At the end of the day, though, if it works for you, fine. Cool, great, like, you found one that wasn’t that bright, or didn’t care that you’re trying a new kind of elaborate ploy, maybe she liked the change of pace. It won’t ruin her life. You are, meanwhile, getting better at the game and less good at forming a genuine human being connection. You can be insanely lonely for all the naked people who pass through your bed, and the better you get at playing the more you’ll know that. Have fun with your ‘techniques’.

  44. J

    I think any woman would have fonder feelings towards her own shit than she would have towards you.

  45. Anonymous

    your counter argument of “It hurts more to be rejected than to be negged” doesn’t do the trick for me.

    Because, following your logic, in order to not hurt somebody’s feelings I have to pretty much have sex with every guy who approaches me. Which, for obvious reasons, is not going to happen.

    In order for you guys to stop hurting feelings you just have to stop negging people.

    See, on my side it’s a passive action, I have to wait to be hit on and then either be really nice to whoever does it or have sex with them in order to avoid crushing people’s feelings.

    All you have to do to avoid crushing people is, uh, stop actively insulting people with the intent of crushing them.

    See the difference? People like you are the reason women are jerks to dudes who hit on them in bars in the first place, because YOU ARE BEING JERKS TO US YOUR WHOLE SYSTEM REVOLVES AROUND THAT.

    ok thanks.

  46. Anonymous

    So, let me get this straight. In your dream scenario right, when you’ve finally married this hot chick that you’re sure you deserve (cause media has told you all of your life that at the end of your long hard day of “being a man”, your REWARD is a beautiful woman), and you’re telling your son or daughter (heaven help all of your daughters) about how you met, you wanna be like, “I just pummeled her self esteem until she felt so bad about herself that she slept with me to validate herself.” THINK ABOUT THE EXAMPLE YOU ARE SETTING FOR YOUR SONS.

    You honestly think that slowly chipping away at the confidence of a woman is clever? You think it is some special little secret that you can use to finally get your cock sucked? Fuck you, man. All of you. You think it is something NEW to belittle a woman into submission of a man? Women every day are bullied by men, in the work place, in the government. It is undeniable and inexcusable. The power you think that hot women hold over men, how much do you think that power is worth?

    Men are afraid women will laugh them; women are afraid men will kill them.

    Please spend your time fighting a worthwhile battle, rather than waging war with the self esteem of women.

    • Anonymous

      Please stop being so misogynistic. Women are not delicate flowers that will welt the second someone (regardless of gender) looks at them badly. Perhaps you are, but please stop projecting your problems onto an entire gender.

      “The power you think that hot women hold over men, how much do you think that power is worth?”
      Enough to start wars.

      “women are afraid men will kill them.”
      You sound like you live a very sad life. I hope you find peace.

  47. Anonymous

    How do you know if some girl you’ve never met before at a club or bar, that you think is a 8-10, (Which is sickening, by the way, women aren’t pumpkins being judged at the fucking county fair) has been treated like an 8-10, and “getting her ass kissed”? I was bullied for my looks in middle school and through most of highschool. I got called ugly and fat and a whole slew insults that still make me afraid to leave my apartment without makeup or a carefully selected ensemble. But when I went to college, suddenly boys were lining up.
    After my first relationship ended my sophomore year, I had six guys (and girl) within two weeks asking if I wanted to hook up or go out sometime. Whatever I had been before, I seemed to have finally made it to this mythical level of ‘hotness’ that girls aspire to achieve. I would go to parties and be the center of attention, walk to class and get cat called. I’d been an ‘ugly nerd’ my whole adolescence, and now I could talk to guys about Legend of Zelda, Pokemon, and Dungeons and Dragons or whatever else, so suddenly all these things that had made me a reject before were now attributes that only made me more desirable. It was a very drastic change for me, one that I still haven’t quite adjusted to yet. I’m just now starting to get the confidence in myself that I should have always had, regardless of my looks.
    If I was out at a bar, and some guy tried to do this to me (which they have), I’d call him out for exactly what he was being. A fucking asshole (which I’ve done). Because if you do this, guess what, you are being a fucking asshole.
    Stop using your shallow scale to evaluate attractiveness and then using that as an okay to insult women. “She’s a 9, so she wouldn’t ever give me the time of day therefore she deserves this.”
    No.
    No.
    Just. No.
    Repeat after me.
    Just because you’ve had your feelings hurt by rejection doesn’t give you the right to be hurtful to a women.
    Just talk to them like a person, and if they’re a bitch about it, then THEY WEREN’T WORTH YOUR TIME ANYWAY.
    Why is this so hard for you people to get?

    P.S. If you get mad because women don’t want to get with you because you’re “such a nice guy”, then guess what? You’re not a nice guy. Women aren’t vending machines that put out sex when you put in enough kindness tokens. We’re allowed to have preferences. We’re allowed to not be attracted to someone. I find it hilarious that in these comments you smack talk the ‘chubby ugly girls’ while the article above is supposed to help you pick up ‘the hot ones’, and all the while you’re simultaneously whining about how girls never noticed your geeky-ass back in highschool even though you were “suck a nice guy”.

    Double standard, hypocritical, backwards-ass, motherfuckers.
    -drops mic and walks off stage-

  48. Chloe

    I’m sorry, but even in your extra note, you haven’t realised why this is all so offensive. Every piece of language you use to describe women is based around the idea that women are quite irrational and ‘emotional’. You place the blame on women for not being interested in every guy that comes over to talk them as way to completely excuse your own behaviour. Your saying that really men are the victims of fickle women and therefore all the blame for you being a dick can be put on the women that you are being a dick to. You basically dehumanise woman with the way you write about them.
    The gist of your extra note defending this article is: ‘its ok for me to subtly insult women if they are very attractive because they have a high sense of self worth and I am a ‘nice guy’ really.’ Do you honestly believe that a woman’s sense of self worth is based entirely around her looks? I’m sorry, but if you can’t see that every word of this is misogynist bullshit then you shouldn’t be allowed to spend any time with women.

    • Anonymous

      “Every piece of language you use to describe women is based around the idea that women are quite … ‘emotional’.”
      It’s hilarious that you think otherwise. Responding here only proves that you fell for it, too. Highly manipulable – you’re in the club.

  49. Anonymous

    Another good one: http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-12-22/girl-talk-lets-talk-about-negging/#more-1746742

    When you think about it, who better to tell you what girls like than the sources that are telling girls what girls like, right?

  50. Anonymous

    In attack and defense of negging: http://www.newstatesman.com/blogs/voices/2012/05/negging-latest-dating-trend

    Take a moment and actually read it through. It makes great points about the different degrees of negging (flirtatious teasing versus malicious “you think you’re too good for me so I need to lower your social value” teasing), and about the internet seduction culture.

  51. Anonymous

    All negging does is make a girl think you’re an asshole

  52. Rose

    As a woman I know this works. But to be fair, it works on guys as well. I never had much self-esteem growing up and wondered why all of the guys I liked never reciprocated my feelings. Then I realized I was acting like a timid puppy that just followed gross beardos around because they paid attention to me.

    So what did I do? I lost 70 lbs and learned how to do my fucking makeup. I stopped giving a shit if people liked what I said or not. I start conversations towards guys with clever one liners and witty banter. They like that this girl 1. Approached them first 2. Is like the best-friend-with-tits they never had.

    I’ve had some of the most handsome men at the bar talking to me, something I never dreamed would happen. All it takes is a sense of humor, a good idea of boundaries, and some goddamn self-esteem.

    It’s not all stuck up spoiled bitches and overly sensitive cows out there. What women don’t know is that they can actually use these techniques themselves with a little tweaking. Everyone needs to calm down and realize that none of this really fucking matters in the end. Just have fun. If you don’t like what the dude is saying, move on.

    • Anonymous

      Amen Sista!

  53. Arielle

    No, you see, the issue we have isn’t about the whole ‘being insulting’ thing (though that is rude, you can choose to be a rude person if you want, I don’t care). The issue is that what you’ve done in thsi article is basically reduce a woman’s value to her attractiveness to a man.

    “You’ve indicated to her that you’re not interested in her over anyone else in the group. This is a new thing for her.”
    Yeah, because I’m sure that the most important thing for her is that you’re interested in her! Say nothing of the fact that she was just trying to talk to her friends when she was approached, clearly just by the fact that she’s a woman she’s trying to get your attention.

    “She’ll feel the bitter sting of being just like everyone else. Her looks no longer give her all the power – because you’re not responding to her looks.”
    A girl’s power, though you may not believe it, isn’t actually 100% related to her looks! Guess what: she can be a person who doesn’t care about looks! Just because you think she’s hot, doesn’t mean she tries to be or thinks about it all the time.

    “She’s wondering, ‘Why isn’t this guy attracted to me? Why isn’t this guy paying attention to me? Who is this guy? How am I going to win this guy’s attention?'”
    Yeah… I don’t think so. Most likely, you’ll get a weird look and be ignored. Once again, a woman’s thoughts aren’t always focused on being attractive to you!

    “The same holds true for beautiful women…Their whole reality is based on having power and having acceptance and adoration through their good looks. Take that away and their whole reality crumbles and they’ll do anything to get it back.”
    I don’t think I even have to say anything to get across how stupid and misogynistic this is.

    “For an average girl (6s, 7s), you don’t want to use value zingers. All you need to do is demonstrate social value – you don’t need to lower hers. Hers wasn’t that high to begin with.”
    Excuse me? A girl’s social value is entirely based on her looks? Fortunately, no, because girls happen to have these things called – wait for it – PERSONALITIES! Her value is about who she is, not what she looks like.

    So in closing, you’re a sexist idiot who sees girls as objects, not people, and even when you try to add an update that explains why you’re right, you do it wrong! Please, try to get a new perspective on females, or at least stop posting stuff like this on the internet to propogate the idea that it’s okay to think this way.

  54. Anonymous

    Negs are a great tool in your arsenal but you can’t rely on them as they disqualify you from your target always have a complement ready after your neg just in case it back fires or at least have three replies ready for an awkward come back . Begging is a great way to open a conversation but the real key to success with women is confidence , being yourself and not being needy .

    • Jesse Charger

      Yeah- in fact negs are completely unnecessary for the typical guy to bed typical girls. But it’s fun to use them to experiment, to filter for certain types of girls, to amp up the reactions you get from hot girls, and so on.

  55. Max - Get this loud and clear

    http://www.seductionscience.com/2010/bio-jesse-charger/
    Here it says right at the begining: ” I’ll be blunt here; my purpose is to get you laid and to get you laid FAST… and *without* all the hassle of traditional dating (expensive dinners, spending money, showing off, the “goodnight kiss of death”, etc). ” (2nd sentance btw)
    So for all of you girls wondering why would someone want such a girl (that does responds to neggs), eg. these hot girls, here’s an answer for you. MEN would want these girls for a one night stand, that’s it. No hard feelings, get laid, get out. Know why you came here in the first place. (which is to get laid – it says so on the bio of jesse charger). I hope this clears it up a bit.

  56. Anonymous

    I can only speak for myself, but the main reason I don’t respond to guys at nightclubs/bars is that I’m not looking for love in those places. I’m there to have a good time with my friends. I am flattered when a guy nicely asks if he can buy me a drink or if I want to dance, and when I say no, it’s honestly nothing personal.

    As for the joking around/teasing–in the right context, it’s great. I like people with a sense of humor and it’s nice to be able to laugh at yourself. Honestly, maybe that would work on some level (but I’m still not going home with you–if that’s what you were looking for, I am just a wasted conversation you could have had with someone who shared your end goal.) But that’s not really what comes to mind when I think of “negging”–probably because most guys who do it DO IT BADLY. A lot of people who “neg” seem to truly have some level of hate/contempt toward women, and it shows. I’m not down with that.

    • Jesse Charger

      It’s very true that it can be done badly; and some guys are just being mean or teasing a girl, they’re not even thinking of it as “negging” and girls sometimes mistake and confuse bullying with negging.

  57. Anonymous

    Hey, I know! Why don’t you just be yourself, dickbag? If you have to knock a “hot girl” down for her to pay attention to you, why do you want her in the first place? People are so fucking dumb. smh

  58. Will

    and i also think it says alot that these same asshole “nice guys” who use this technique will listen to this article but argue day and night with ACTUAL WOMEN about what they want.
    you’ll rather listen to some douchebag instead of the actual women you’re trying to get with

  59. Ev

    wow yes i love to insult the bejeezus out of people to knock them down a few pegs – obviously cuz they look too hot for me like omg what would i do without a guy in my life like omg. haha NOPE.
    anybody who talks to me like that is getting their ballsack of dignity nailed to a tree.
    whoever thought of this needs to go **** a cactus. and then some.
    and learn the word Empathy.

  60. JC

    lol I love the thinly veiled neg in this article. The whole “Don’t worry–if you’re average looking you won’t get negged” is kind of hilarious. So, the expected effect is supposed to be: “Gee, I wish a guy would neg me so I’d be reassure that I was hot.” thusly rendering negging a compliment instead of a sit/heel/beg trick some men degrade themselves into doing.

    I mean, look: Sure, there are dumb girls out there that will fall for this nonsense, but, really? You’re gonna try that hard/are forced to resort to doing silly parlor tricks just so some girl will talk to you? It just seems kind of humiliating to the guy to have to trick women into interacting with him.

    I’ve personally been negged and my first thought was, “Awwww. That’s cute that he’s putting in so much effort to catch my attention. He’s not my type but I’ll chit chat for a few minutes then politely excuse myself.” However, I’m admittedly not ‘supermodel hot’ nor unfriendly, so I guess I wasn’t the ideal target? Mmmidunno.

    Here’s all you need to know, guys: Be nice, interesting, and good looking. If you only have 2/3, try asking out the so-called ‘average’ women instead. If you want a model type in bed, bite the bullet and hire a high end hooker. It’s no more embarassing than jumping through hoops/putting on airs trying to snag a girl at a bar, and is guaranteed.

    • Anonymous

      You classist arseholes are despicable.

  61. Anonymous

    This is just sick, you really think something like this works! Women aren’t another creature, just talk to them like any person would, with respect! I don’t say this a lot, but I gotta be honest, I hate you. I don’t care how you defend this, this isn’t right. Have some fucking respect!

  62. lea

    Look lady, negging is definitely not ‘light teasing.’ It’s pretty much structured… assholery. Teasing is natural! It happens when guys are great. Just b/c my bf didn’t catch my attention by negging it does not mean he’s an ass kisser? It irritates me because it’s patently untrue, since I have to literally spell this out.

    • lea

      The difference is the motive, if this wasn’t clear.

  63. Anonymous

    But wait…how are you sure that this bombshell has had her ass kissed all of her life when you, “FIRST MEET” her? Is it because shes pretty? I mean, Im a funny girl so “negging” just sounds like what I do to everybody I like, or want to like at some point. That part doesn’t bother me. I just wish it wasn’t so gender specific.

  64. Kate

    I don’t think I completely agree with some of the comments on here (half of the guys responding can’t even form a full sentence, not mention the horrendous misspellings), but I will admit that Charger has some good points.

    I, like some of the other women who commented on here, understand that a neg is not meant to be offensive or break down a girl’s self-confidence. The examples given are kind of crappy, just in my opinion, but I have heard some really good ones that definitely captured my attention. I think it’s approached in the wrong way though. To capture those “I’m-hot-as-shit” girls’ attentions, I think it’s better to say treat them like one of your friends, not like a girl you want to get with (because essentially, that’s what negging is – an attempt to show those types of girls that their rejection doesn’t matter…unless I completely misunderstood the article).

    All the guys I’ve had a serious interest in, they treated me like I was one of them. They picked on me, teased me, etc. It’s different, and it’s entertaining. I personally don’t want someone who’s going to tell me I’m beautiful all the time – if you do want a guy like that, then you’ve got some deep-rooted self-esteem issues and you should probably go talk to someone about it instead of prowling bars/clubs.

    Women are getting so offended because it’s the truth. No one wants an ass-kisser for a boyfriend or a husband – that’s boring as hell, and that’s probably not why you started dating the guy in the first place. You want a challenge, and a chase. That’s why “hot” girls date assholes – because the assholes don’t give a shit about sucking up, but the girls don’t have the wits to realize that act doesn’t change once they start dating.

    Just my opinion. I thought it was an interesting article because I’ve never actually heard of negging before (but now that I’ve read the article, I know what method it is that guys in my part of town use a lot).

  65. lea

    This is ridiculous. Backhanded comments in a club or otherwise would have me staring at you blankly, as in “who the hell is this guy?” It’s knee-jerk offensive and pretty pretentious! What if I call out your bs? According to a whole bunch of desperate guys, apparently, it’s ‘nothing to be ashamed of.’

    Look, it’s like telling girls “Just tell em, “you look a little flabby around the middle, it’s adorable.” And these 9, 10 boys will weaken and seek your approval, PSYCHOLOGY. On 5,6,7 level guys be sure to insult only their personality, as their looks are already unconfident. Alternatively, you could say something if they’re with their friends, “Why do you even hang out with this guy, anyway? To help you win arcade prizes?” In a jokey tone! So you’re not being too much of a jerk!!! It’s a guaranteed, non-harmful process, so neg!”

    “Let’s go invade this dude’s privacy and try to make him dance and wreck his confidence (just a little so he stops snobbing for being hot) to bring him after us!”

    “Wow, you’re offended you (re: ugly fat loser) with inferior experience? I think you’re offended because it’s TRUE. In MY experience you never would have dated me in high school.”

    Just. Why. Firstly, appearance should have 0% to do with it, it’s morally idiotic and secondly, if I have been negged a time or two, it didn’t make my eyebrow curve up any less. I actually had to look it up if backhanded compliments were an actual pickup technique and look at what I’m reading.

    Lastly, this is very irritating to read, it gives the same ‘is this guy stupid’ feeling as hearing someone telling you how women are BIOLOGICALLY inferior to men. I’m not saying the two theories are the same thing, I’m explaining just how annoying it is to hear about it.

    • lea

      Let it be noted my boyfriend got me by complimenting (i.e no negging)

      Let it also be noted I will straight up rip into you if I ever get hit on in this way in a club. This is me being polite. Let me disproportionally negative feedback your ass, are we clear? God, this is like telling my little brother to stop calling girls ‘bitches.’

      • Anonymous

        To be fair, it sounds like he’s responding appropriately to the sort of people he grew up with. Yes, I’m looking at you.

  66. Anonymous

    “It’s often pretty CRUSHING to the guy’s self-esteem that he isn’t given 10 seconds to acknowledge he’s another human being to talk to and say “hello”. Ignoring a guy completely is much crueler than any neg a guy would dish. (Like, “Hey girl! You have some lint in your hair… look at that.”)
    Then again, it’s a night club. If a guy’s ego is so fragile, he shouldn’t go.
    So please girls, if a guy told you that you had lint in your hair and that would “cut you down” or would “crush you”, and your ego is THAT fragile, then don’t go to night clubs!! After all, the guys have to deal with MUCH WORSE from you girls!”

    Here’s the CliffNotes, for those who don’t understand how rude and misogynistic those three paragraphs are: Any guy who can’t take a blow to his ego shouldn’t go to a nightclub. But neither should hot girls, because they bruise the aforementioned egos by not wanting to be hit on every second of every night by someone who knows they’re going to fail without making her feel self-conscious. If you’re going to hurt us men by rejecting us (which is your natural right if you’re uninterested), we should be entitled to hurt you back by pointing out your flaws (which is bullying, and should be frowned upon by anyone who actually deserves to keep your company for the night).

    I hope you (and anyone else who tries a bullshit tactic like this) stay single for life. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be saddled with an asshole like you.

  67. Fuck you all.

    I would never date anyone who ever tried this and next person who tries this on me will get my hand so far up his ass I’ll wave at him.

    I don’t understand tbh. The phrase ‘works on hot girls’ is used again and again here, and it’s presumably because you assume all hot girls are used to being chased.etc.etc, but wait, what? What IS a hot girl, exactly? Does EVERYONE have the same type that they concider a hot girl? Speaking as a woman who is attracted to guys but who has also been attracted to girls (and have been in a serious relationship with a girl), that statement makes no sense to me. The guys (and the few girls) I’m attracted to are not (usually) viewed as attractive by most of my friends – because it’s a matter of taste.
    So just because a girl is hot (TO YOU) doesn’t mean she would react to ‘negging’ the way you presume.

    I’ve been ‘negged’ by some guys before and although I didn’t know it was an actual fucking flirting technique at the time, it sure as hell didn’t work. “Your roots are showing” made me respond with “I know that asshole, I do have mirror at home” – it didn’t make my heart go all fluttery.

    Also, you’re all assholes.
    If you want a serious, happy relationship, it’s fucking stupid to start it on false ground; ‘oh look at me i’m such a strong, bad boy, I am appealing to your underdeveloped brain’.
    If you just want to have sex; find someone who is interested enough without having to fucking try to manipulate her into it; I’m into casual sex, but if anyone I’ve ever slept with had tried to ‘neg’ me that night, it wouldn’t have happened.

  68. Michelle

    ….Did any of you gals & guys bother to read the full article? The author explicitly reminds the reader that “negs” should not be used to inflict any real emotional damage. Granted a lot of “negs” listed are really, really stupid and awkward things to say, but the “meanest” one imo is “what’s so special about this one?” Are girls really so fragile that the mere SUGGESTION that they’re not special, warrants this RIDICULOUSLY DISPROPORTIONATE negative backlash, that actually IS intended to inflict emotional harm on the author. Hypocrisy much? “Negging” is one of the oldest tactics in the book, and is used ALL THE TIME by both genders. It’s particularly useful to boys/men because women ARE MORE LIKELY TO WANT BOYFRIENDS/MATES/SPOUSES that are “higher status”. Makes sense when you think about how important a male mate’s protection, access to resources, and independence was (and still sometimes is, believe it or not) to the survival of women and their children (i.e. those who passed on their genetic material to US.) This article might be useful to boys having trouble with girls, because boys’ NATURAL INCLINATION is to FLATTER the shit out of them. I dare ONE GIRL on here to advocate CONSTANT FLATTERY (i.e. 0 negging) as a successful way for boys (especially ones that aren’t particularly physically attractive) to attract girls. It is merely a sign of status, independence, and confidence, i.e. what pretty much EVERY GIRL wants in a mate (among other things, of course). CHILL THE FUCK OUT

    • Jesse Charger

      Perfectly put Michelle. Sounds like you could make a killing $$ being the level-headed psychiatrist to all of the loca girls on here.

    • Goddamn Upset with Misogynistic Bullshit

      I am a woman.
      1) The user cannot possibly know which negs will be hurtful to the subject and which will be harmless. THE INTENT SHOULD ALWAYS BE: DO NO HARM. Why the fuck would you want to risk injuring someone over a lay, or just so they’ll notice you? Are you really that cruel and petty?
      2) Humans are social creatures. Seeking to reduce someone’s social standing (ie amongst their peer group) with questions like “what’s so special about this one?” and “do you guys ever get a word in?” IS AUTOMATICALLY DAMAGING. Mean, cruel, pointless. You are a bully.
      3) Wow let’s not only reduce women to a tingling bunch of Pavlovian responses to ~male dominance~, let’s also reduce men to nothing more than the sum of their assets. Have car? check. Have job? check. Hold brutal rule over everyone in grunting silverback style? check. Presto! Happily ever after.
      Can you hear how ridiculous that is?
      4) Oh wow, god forbid boys have a natural inclination to compliment and be kind to women because they like them. Got to train them outta that, lickety-split! You should probably teach them that women have a variety of ways of saying “Yes” to sex, while your at it. Otherwise the boys might never know that “not now,” and “I have a headache,” and “maybe,” and “haha” and “ew gross” and “no, thank you” and “NO” actually mean yes. While we’re teaching them such useful things, let’s also lobotomize the part of their brains that actually considers women to be people, because haha obviously we don’t need it.
      5) Yeah, I can speak from experience that a guy who never negged me (i.e. 0 negging), and actually treated me better than I thought I was worth, eventually became a romantic interest, because he won my trust and friendship and respect, to the point that I wanted to give him my body, too. It doesn’t work with everyone. I have guy friends who treat me like royalty, but I’m never going to sleep with them because I’m just straight up not attracted to them. But does that mean my male friends are free to treat me like assholes? Hell no, they wouldn’t be my friends! And, hello, being a friend is an honor. Be flattered, sparky.
      6) It isn’t what “every girl wants in a mate.” Bullshit. a) some women don’t want mates, haha gotcha b) way to consistently use the word “girl” to describe full grown, self-respecting women thanks c) great job advocating to your female peers that women should be seeking out self-serving, narcissistic assholes who insult them from the get-go and get pissed when there’s no sex for good behavior. That’s what I want my daughter (younger sister, little cousin, single aunt, lonely grandmother, widowed mother, best friend) to look for.
      7) You should be ashamed of yourself.

      • Anon.

        Thank you. Everyone should read the above by “Upset with this Misogynistic Bullshit”

  69. Dirk

    Who the FUCK do you think you are?
    “Negging women is ideal for really hot girls – 8s, 9s, and 10s. For an average girl (6s, 7s), you don’t want to use value zingers. All you need to do is demonstrate social value – you don’t need to lower hers. Hers wasn’t that high to begin with.”
    Excuse me but you, as a male have absolutely NO RIGHT to say what a female’s(or anyone elses for that matter) ‘social value’ is. This in itself is an incredibly sexist remark, and honestly you sound like an asshole. People are people regardless of gender, and have the right to be treated fairly despite what they look like.
    Assholes like you are what make society shitty.
    How would you feel if you were passive aggressively insulted by creeps who wanted to fuck you? Oh I’m sure you’d respond sayign youd be flattered but really, no. NO ONE wants to be belittled, insulted, or otherwise even if it is hidden with some ‘complement’

    • Michelle

      holy shit, chill out. breathe…. think about what he said and what you’re saying in response. He is admonishing his readers NOT to use this tactic on girls who might be ACTUALLY NEGATIVELY EFFECTED BY IT. To be honest, ANYONE who would be at all fazed by ANY of these “negs” has severe emotional issues, and should not be considered “a typical girl out at a nightclub”, unless you think the typical girl has the emotional constitution of an infant. Judging from your response, maybe you think all girls are as ABSURDLY SENSITIVE as you yourself are, but I can tell you their not. It’s interesting that you used that whole double standard argument– here’s a different one for you: How outraged would you be if you read this in cosmo written by a female about how to attract guys????? Or are guys just emotionally stronger than women, so it’d be okay? FUCKING THINK PLEASE.

    • Michelle

      *they’re ;)

  70. Emma

    I have no doubt that this does work sometimes, and that a portion of the severe negative reaction this article’s getting from girls is because they realize at some level that it works and they’re getting defensive. Never mind that, that’s not what I’m commenting about.

    I think what most rubs me the wrong way about the idea of negging is that it’s manipulative and degrading, because it’s essentially a man trying to get something from a woman as if it’s his to take, when women (and everyone, to be honest) would rather have someone engage them with mutual respect.

    I’m predicting I’d get comments saying something along the lines of “a girl blowing me off isn’t respectful either!” but the same problem’s at play: a guy hitting on a girl, whether he’s doing it nicely or not, is primarily trying to get something from her. Not always, of course, but that’s how any girl is going to see it, especially if it’s in the nightclub setting that the article’s author says the negging strategy is meant for. So if she feels like someone’s hounding her for a night in bed when she’s not interested, she’s of course going to feel annoyed and uncomfortable or even threatened and anxious. That’s when the dismissive reaction comes in — a clear (and often defensive) signal that she’s not interested, one she hopes will make the guy leave her alone.

    (and in case you haven’t figured it out, this is the same reason why “nice guys” are given the let’s just be friends line — being overly nice in an attempt to win a girl’s affections isn’t going to make a girl like a guy or respect him, it’s going to make her uneasy because she’ll recognize that he’s treating her like a vending machine, putting in kindness coins until sex (or a relationship, or whatever) falls out. And she gives the friends line not because she wants to hurt the guy, but for the exact opposite reason — she’s hoping a “you’re great, let’s be friends” is going to be less hard on him than a “i’m really not interested, you’re making me uncomfortable, please stop.”)

    tl;dr: no one likes feeling manipulated, and women are sick and tired of guys going after them acting like (and too often believing) they are deserving and entitled to what they’re asking for. No one owes you anything just because you want it.

    • Clever Hot Girl

      Too fucking right! You said what I said only nicer. I wish I had your patience.

      I’m one of those girls who get along better with men than other women and because of that I’ve had to deal with a lot of awkward nice guys trying to get in my pants. Lots of times they assumed that because I liked hanging out with them and we had similar interests that I wanted them in a bad way when in reality I just want to play Nazi Zombies and talk about Batman. The philosophies behind negging have cost me friendships by implanting in males the idea that any girl can be got with the right strategy.

  71. Alyssa

    Okay, because I have experience in being an “attractive with a side of rude” girl and have since transformed into a overly compassionate and nice one, I’d just like to say this: As much as ‘negging’ may essentially work on few girls.. shallow, battered girls (I was one of them).. most of the time you aren’t getting much out of it but a bitch (again, was one of them). Comments like these may somewhat attract some, but it’s more than likely because of a strange ideal that “strong” men are often somewhat rude and “unattainable”. Girls with values like these don’t often have their shit together and aren’t happy enough with themselves to understand that comments like these are NOT necessary. Most of the time, it’s something that really shallow and desperate men do, and most women will feel offended. I’ve been “negged” at before, but not because I was initially rude to a “nice guy”, but because I had a boyfriend, or because I didn’t feel comfortable furthering a relationship with a male. I understand the idea completely because I’ve been there before and sure it worked, but you have to understand that often it does more harm than good. If you want a girlfriend, be yourself and hopefully whoever Yourself is, is a lot better than the guy who was considering changing himself completely to get a girlfriend (tldr; your life will not end if your dick doesn’t get wet at this second, relax and be yourself). Good luck.

  72. Tim

    Jesse you obviously got linked on some neurotic woman’s blog. They are so neurotic they don’t know how to PLAY!!!

    They also realize this has worked on them at the hands of an asshat and are ashamed. This whole concept is why it’s easy to get laid by women you don’t care about. You play with them and have FUN!

  73. BADGER

    Jesse, it’s not surprising you’ve had this negative reaction from women. When I first heard about this trick I was horrified too. It took me a while to realise that the female response to negging is a very real and more a reflection on us than on the men who use it. It’s just a shock to find you’re so easily manipulated, and the response to that shock is always going to be anger and defensiveness.

    Chill out ladies. Games beget games. It’s *your* games the neg is designed to break down. Develop a solid self-image and it’s all academic. You won’t need to play games, and negs won’t come your way. Comfort in your own skin is a great counter to a misdirected neg, as is an honest, friendly approach to other people. Laugh it off…and stop playing games.

    • Clever Hot Girl

      So basically if we’re negged we have it coming? Got news for ya, it isn’t just the bimbos that get negged, it’s us intelligent, comfortable-in-our-skin girls too because you twats can’t tell the difference. And we will eat you alive and humiliate you if you try that shit on us. You aren’t even defining what you mean by “games” in an effort to shift the blame onto us. I think your real problem is you know you’re out of your depth so you go after the easy, stupid girls who have something to prove, but when you run into someone who not only matches you but owns you, you cry like a little bitch and neg on us to try and make us feel bad.

  74. Gabriel

    Hi Jesse, Negging works like a charm.

    I’d suggest writing about how women try to misguide men in how to seduce them using polular lies (ex: “we like nice guys”,”we don’t masturbate” or similar bullshit).

    And the comic posted above is so irreal, a girl NEVER will know if a guy is negging her or he is just acting natural.

    • Jesse Charger

      Yep

    • Jace

      so tru
      women….liars…they hurt inncocnet man. how dare they not let men sleep wit them????

  75. smart one

    woman have sex with men who are hot, nice, mean, smart, dumb doesn’t matter.if you have a nice body they will do you.women are even more shallow then men.

  76. Anonymous

    I AM A GUY WHO USES THIS NEG THEORY…AND PLEASEE ALL GUYS THIS WORKS. USE IT. And for the girls, if u don’t like my attitude GO HUG A TRANSFORMER AND DIE. I HAVE USED IT AND I WILL USE IT AGAIN, WHETHER ON YOU OR YOUR SISTER OR YOUR KIDS , WHOEVER I CATCH FIRST.
    When I meet a woman I relax and try to be normal but then I watch for the slightest sign of aloofness or ruddness from her, then and then I strike my arsenal of neg, E.g. Your shirt looks like my grandmother’s bedsheet (pointing at her shirt) and immediately I add to tell her to her face that ” I’ve weighed her and found she equals zero,” I’m leaving and that there are many women around. And I leave feelinh happy and mischevious and fulfilled. I’VE BEAT HER AT HER OWN GAME OF PUTTING HUMANS DOWN. BRAVOOOOO……. AND TO ALL CRITICS FUCK YOU, I GET LAID A LOT ALL THE TIME. INFACT I have about 4 diif chicks to fuck from today Monday till Saturday

    • Jace

      but are you happy?

    • Anonymous

      Maybe, but you still sound like an idiot, and no amount of pickup lines will ever fix that. ;)

    • Omgwtf

      On my kids?!

      Look, dude, it’s not that we * like* hurting your feelings.
      I mean, every damn time I have to brush a guy off I feel crappy about it.
      But I’m not going to have sex with everyone, ok?

  77. Aeva

    For the first minute or so of reading this, I was getting a little annoyed. But once I got a little further in, I began to understand. Maybe as a lesbian, whose group of friends is exclusively guys (and has been since childhood), I have a different perspective than most other women here, I don’t know.

    On one level, I think guys don’t get what it’s like for most women in bars or clubs. I’m generally a very social, friendly person. I’m nice to everybody, even people I don’t like or those that others may choose not to engage with. But that changes at bars. Because I’m very feminine looking, guys never guess that I’m gay…so I get hit on a fair bit. At the beginning of the night, if a genuinely nice guy were to come up to me, I’d gently inform him that I’m gay, but tell him that I’d love to hang out anyway. I’ve met some really good friends this way. But the nice guys are few and far between. Most are vaguely creepy, and definitely too eager. Even when I tell them I don’t really dig guys, that only seems to encourage them more, because they see it as a challenge. After the 10th sleazy, slurring, stumbling guy comes up to me insisting that I’m only gay because I haven’t slept with the right guy yet (ie. him, and yes, I’ve been told this more times than I can count), I’m just done. I want to go home, put on my pajamas and play video games…by myself. And even if a genuinely nice guy were to come up to me, at this point of the night I’m just so sick of any sort of male attention that I would be more dismissive than I would’ve if it had been earlier in the night. I definitely think that this is what most women encounter when they go out to a bar or a club.

    BUT…I also get that “most women” are not who you’re talking about with this post. You’re talking about the women that think they’re the shit, and that every guy must worship them unconditionally (I know a girl like this. We stopped being friends because I couldn’t take her vanity any more). They’re so used to that sort of attention that it makes somebody attractive when they separate themselves from the fawning masses. For girls that are REALLY like this, I think a neg definitely works. It disarms them, in a way, puts a chink in their armor.

    My only real issue is…if she’s not a nice enough person to value your time and effort, why do you want to be with her in the first place? I get that she’s incredibly hot, but if the guys using these tips are genuinely nice guys, why are they being so shallow?

    I would also warn that many girls put up a front. They seem to exude self-confidence, but it’s covering up for major insecurities. Even though the ‘neg’ isn’t intended to actually hurt, we all know women overreact, so it may not be taken exactly the way it was intended (especially if there are some underlying esteem issues). Not a criticism of the practice, just a word of advice.

    But overall, if the neg reaches it’s intended target in the proper way, then it can definitely be quite effective.

    • Jesse Charger

      Aeva… you’re a very smart cookie.

    • Anonymous

      No. NononoNONONONONO.
      That’s bullshit.
      It’s abusive and stupid and perpetuates a culture of oppression and sexual objectification that has gone on for FUCKING MILLENNIA and it is NOT. EVER. OKAY.
      NEVER.
      And if she’s some bitch who thinks she’s hot shit, find a girl who’s worth your time instead of fucking around with these disgusting stereotypes…or wait! Maybe YOU’RE the shallow one!

  78. A girl

    There seems to be a lot of angry, bitter women. I would hate to be a guy. This article isn’t telling men to be an insulting asshole, its saying to be playful. I love that my boyfriend & i can tease & pick on each other. Life is meant to be fun. Being able to laugh with someone or about yourself is amazing for your soul. & having an alpha male is extremely sexy.

    • Jesse Charger

      The voice of reason

    • Anonymous

      It’s not playful, it’s degrading. It’s one human being trying to knock another down a peg to try and sleep with them. It’s the modern version of hitting us on the head and dragging us back to your cave. Also, insulting someone isn’t how to get in their pants. It’s insulting and while I’m not butthurt or traumatized or anything it’s still annoying to have some stranger pester you and think it’s their birthright to be a dick after you tell them to go away.

  79. PK

    I just spent a long time reading through these articles in reverse. I’ve been intentionally seeking out PUA blogs because I live in a town where the men appear to rely on PUA advice. I need to know what I’m up against because I’ve only recently relocated here.

    I haven’t read all the articles and I don’t intend to because they don’t relate to me. But I will say that this blog is quite different from the other very popular PUA “Roosh V”, where he encourages hate of Western Females. It’s down right derogatory to all humans, not just females. You have a posting which intelligently addresses many of his rants about feminism and how it’s killed Western Females. For that post alone, your chosen occupation has redeemed itself.

    The reason why your blog really doesn’t relate to me is because I am a chubby 4 who dresses frumpy for my career and out of laziness.

    Where was I?

    Negs. Ah yes. I get negged consistently and I can’t deny that they make me laugh.

    They work.

    Not the roots showing or bear belly types. But the sister, Eskimo nose and other pokes work to get me to laugh and engage pretty quickly.

    If saying that someone has an Eskimo nose is “racist” as someone ahead of me claimed, then that person needs to get educated on what the definition of racism is. Then look up the definition of stereotype. Then realize that there is no such thing as an Eskimo nose. Which exactly why the neg would work on me.

    I have to be honest. Before reading this post, I had no idea what a neg was or that’s what I had experienced. I just thought the guy was using a “weird” opener. Which for me, makes it much more preferable than “Where do you work?”, “How did you get there?”, “How much do you make?”, “Are there any openings?”,

    These are the standard male openers where I’m at and they make me grind my teeth and cringe.

    So when a guy says “That sweater looks like the one my Grandmother wore last week when she packed my lunch!” I am going to laugh. I’ll wonder of course, if he lives with his Grandmother and why she’s packing his lunch. All which leads to a really good chat, which may lead to a connection.

    Which is what the whole point of the exercise is.

    I think.

    • Jesse Charger

      great points thanks for writing :P

    • Anonymous

      Chubby 4 and you still get negged? By who obese 2’s?

  80. Anonymous

    Did this yesterday, I told a girl her eyes were big (in a playful way) she laughed and said “NO THEYRE NNOOOTTT!”

    Did it to another girl, she was sitting there quietly with her friends, it was getting awkward, I told them that they all were weird as hell, got a positive response.

    You werent supposed to make the girl feel terrible about herself, its just playing around, like how you would tease your friends.

    • Jesse Charger

      yep, exactly 8)

  81. Anonymous

    when i’m out dancing…when there’s loud music..i simply don’t want to answer a mundane question such as “hey how’s it going” or “so do you live around here”. i can’t even HEAR! it’s just so much easier to simply ignore that ‘stage 5 clinger’ who’d actually make an attempt to converse that way. i see how the reverse psychology of said”negging” could yield results in said specific circumstances. negging is to neggable chicks as charismatic personability is to regular chicks.
    BUT! at the end of the day: if you’re a guy, on the high end of the looks spectrum, AND you have non-creepy charisma, you are going to get 97% of the pussy you pursue. (under normal circumstances)

    • BLM10

      Not entirely true. A lot of girls automatically place me in “player” category (underwear model) so I almost have to banter about myself first, saying things like “I know it’s kinda nerdy, but I like to study……(blah, blah)”. Then this sort of takes away attn from my good looks and they see someone educated, yet humble. I guess it doesn’t hurt to laugh at yourself sometimes either….but that’s mid-conversation.

    • Anonymous

      “High end of the looks spectrum.” That kinda says it all. Those who aren’t on the high end tend to resort to other means.

  82. Confused & Wondering

    Okay, so I get from the back-pedaling and defense that you’re saying this is *only* meant for the stuck-up hottie chicks who normally wouldn’t give a guy the time of day. Great. As a woman, I totally acknowledge that there are some chicks out there who should be brought down a peg or two by being reminded that they are still human and subject to human stuff – lint in their hair or maybe their tag is sticking out the back of the neck of their dress.

    Just to clarify, though, I’d like to know why you’d be going for a chick like that in the first place. Unless you’re just looking to get laid – that’s different and if it’s all you’re after, hey, it’s your party. Seriously, though, if you want a relationship, why would you go for a chick for whom negging is designed? Why would you want a relationship with someone so shallow?

    • anon5

      This is a pretty good point.

  83. Zeroflash

    I got a pretty good laugh at all the “woman” posting who so strongly assert they are attractive or hot as if that makes their opinion on the topic more valid. Let me let you in on a secret: NO HOT CHICKS ARE CRUISING A MESSAGE BOARD FOR A TWO BIT WEB SITE ABOUT PICKING UP GIRLS. You may THINK your hot, but you are just another slight to seriously overweight, average or worse looking girl who always makes a big deal out of your gender on chat boards because you know it will get you some attention from the even lamer male nerds. Because you are at your very heart, an attention whore.

    As for negging, I’m not a fan of the concept simply because I wouldn’t want to be around a woman to responds to such a technique, but objectively speaking it clearly has some merit and assholes or what ever you call guys that use them, use them because they work. That is simply fact, just go to a club and see for yourself. Frankly I couldn’t give a shit about the poor plight of the hot (actually hot) club girl/skank being manipulated by this very benign tactic. They say a fool and his money are soon parted, well you can also say that about idiot girls and their pants.

    Any normal, decent, intelligent girl is NEVER going to fall victim to this tactic. Anyone who does deserves what ever they get. Your best protection from negging is not to be a superficial, self-important, skankass cow.

    • Jessi

      Yeah, negging probably works on girls who are daft enough to feed into it without realizing that the guy is doing it on purpose.

      But girls with logic will take into account what is HAPPENING, not what is BEING SAID. What is happening: A: a guy has noticed me in a crowded room of other girls, B: said guy has gone as far as to approach me, C: guy is making an effort to hold my attention.
      See, with this logic, it simply does not matter what dribble the guy is spewing but what he is actually doing that speaks volumes.

      Negging is for guys who have too low of self esteem to actually put themselves out there and be honest with their intentions. If you are not man enough to take the possible rejection, then you are not ready to approach women at all. Negging is half-assed.

      But have fun with your sincerely dense girl who needs a stranger’s approval.

      • Anonymous

        You know what happens when we try to give a genuine compliment and “put ourselves out there”? Care to take a guess? Let’s just say negging returns the lesser of the two reactions.

    • Warier Than Ever Of Men

      It amazes me how many of you whining males on here write so hostily about stereotypically “hot” women who don’t give you the time of day.

      You assume they are just superficial and think they are better than you.

      To many of you, it never occurs that these women get hit on all the time, and resent it because they sense that it is because they are being treated like objects because of their appearances.

      Think about it, even though most men are sluts and will f*** anyone/anything, given the opportunity, if any of you were actually *hot* and were getting hit on, literally, 10 – 50 times a day, you’d start finding it to be pestering and demeaningly superficial, objectifying, and insulting (women just wanting to use you for a one night stand), rather than being flattering, and you’d probably ignore most of the women doing it.

      Would that make you shallow, or just human and not wanting to be harassed and used because of your looks?

      You guys have probably never thought about it from these “hot” women’s points of view, because 1) this is a patriarchy, in which men do not feel a need to consider much of anything from a woman’s point of view and therefore don’t even bother trying to imagine what it might be like to be in their shoes, and 2) women don’t hit on men as much, in general, because most men still can’t handle it/are uncomfortable with it, so even if you are “hot,” you’ve probably never experienced the volume of people approaching you for superficial sex that “hot” women do.

      Bottom line: before assuming that “hot” women are just cold, superficial, self-important “b******”, consider how your behaviors and motivations might feel to them.

  84. Jess

    Came across this from a completely unrelated search on the origins of the word “neg”.

    I am a woman. I wouldn’t personally say that I am particularly “hot”, but I do have a well endowed bosom, which seems to be a sort of sandwich board that says “hit on me with badly thought up boob references, please”.

    I couldn’t say for certain whether a neg would or would not work on me. Personally, I doubt it would *work* – in the sense that it would make me want to chase a guy for his approval, but it would definitely make me notice.

    We as people/a species (I’m not referring to gender here) are socially wired to not be unpleasant to each other, so when somebody throws a semi-insult at you, of course you notice. How you respond to it depends on you as a person.

    Jesse has repeatedly said that the neg is not to be used too freely or too heavily, which I appreciate. I still don’t particularly agree with the idea of having to put a wobble into somebody’s self confidence in order to get a foot in the door to a steamy night of passion.

    As most women who have posted here, I also find the notion quite misogynistic.

    HOWEVER:

    There are women (not all women, just as not ALL men resort to negging and the like) who use their bodies and sexuality to make themselves feel empowered.

    In much the same way that a pick up artist (I’m sorry, but I really hate this term. Picking someone up should not be an “art”, or something that to me sounds like a hobby. I use it in reference to the article) plays on a woman’s weakness to feel empowered, there are women who will play on a man’s weakness to do the same.

    This is not an uneven playing field – the tactics are different that’s all.

    Men are physically wired, women are wired emotionally, so it stands to reason that women will tweak a men’s physical wires and a man will tweak a woman’s emotional wires.

    It just feels more wrong because for whatever reason, emotional manipulation is deemed much worse than physical manipulation. It feels more underhand.

    I don’t agree with negging, and I don’t think it should be resorted to, but I agree that it would work. In much the same way a woman “putting herself out there” would work on a man.

    Which, for the record, I also don’t agree with.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for the balanced comment, and very fair points!

      I’d add to make it clear, that to my understanding, this negging is only to be used to GET HER ATTENTION, a foot on the door-step to say so.
      What comes after is a story of personality

    • Jesse Charger

      thanks anonymous. you’re one of the few people that get it, instead of reading into their own insecurities.

      • Ana

        That’s the thing. Negs work if the people in question are a well-balanced male and a well-balanced female, no one’s hurt and it’s all fun, all playing the game.
        But most people are insecure. So if you have an insecure male who uses a neg, that comes across as an insult because he does not project confidence otherwise/or just makes him sound like a douche – and and if there’s insecure girl at the receiving end, no matter how hot or not they are, they will respond harshly.

  85. Maxwell Charles

    hahaha, love the MASSIVE debate, negging works as long as it is used in a calm and relaxed manner and not said malliciously, at the end of the day, its just fun!

    And as for the wrest of the argument, girls i can be the BEST boy friend you have EVER had, i will shower you with gifts everyday, cook you breakfast, lunch and take you to dinner, i can give you AMAZING sex, BUT first you have to prove to me, that you are worth my time, money and attention, too many men make the mistake of being the BEST boy friend and fail to ask for something first. Its all about taking and rewarding.

  86. Nicko Gibson

    Hehe it’s kinda sad that this works, but it does.
    I always wondered how women feel about knowing that they can be manipulated fairly easily.

    • RandomFiller

      Hitler, Maslow, Pavlov they all proved it, EVERYONE is easy to manipulate.

    • Warier Than Ever Of Men

      Well, there are manipulations that tend to produce predictable (or at least frequent) results.

      For example, using reverse psychology on someone.

      Put-downs work on men, too, in terms of manipulation. It can make a person feel insecure and a bit needy and want to pursue you more, but it is not building good feelings in a relationship and in fact, is simultaneously undermining a person’s libido for you.

      I had a guy use negs on me, and it hurt me and I pursued him more for awhile, but it also kept draining our sexual chemistry: both mine and his. That’s not exactly success, and finally, it ruined everything.

      Now I distrust men even more. You PUAs have given me new reasons to. It definitely has gotten me to put more walls up.

      Congratulations, I guess.

  87. Kevin

    I don’t get the strong opposition. From what I understand about PUAs is that they simply use this part of the guide to get a girls attention. Then they move on to the next step. What’s not worth admitting? It’s undeniable.. this WILL get a hot girl to notice you.

    The only external aspect this article suggests is: because this girl is so often well-treated, she will take her time WITH YOU to convince you that she deserves that treatment to a universal degree.

    I back Charger on this one. Either way, he took his time to write this article and it is here for our benefit. If you disagree, then don’t use it, but don’t try to forcefully extend your way of thinking to his fans in ways that go beyond constructive criticism. You people are petty and unnecessarily spiteful.

  88. Dan

    Jesse Charger ,very true.We should teach other guy’s neg’s so they can leave more for us.LMAO!Neg’s are the most over used and misunderstood form of pickup.I’m a choad(fucked up name for guy’s new to PUA) and fid myself taking neg’s to far even to my friend’s and require social calibration.The one thing I know and am pleased with is the fact that no one will understand a neg unless they try hard enough and that will result in more women for the men that took the time to understand it.A neg I actually have been using allot is calling girl’s dork and brat.It work’s well at first but I’m finding they get annoyed by it along with a few other light neg’s I’ve been using.I kind of have to chill a bit but that’s not the point.The point is,treat a girl like a good friend or annoying little sister in a way(newbee neg about little sister above),not someone who has what you want.Guy’s are so scared to make a simple joke around a girl because they are so scared that she won’t be impressed unless we kiss her ass that that’s what we do and they sense this.Don’t forget boy’s,this PUA shit is to find a real women and stop dating bitches that walk on you.That’s why bitches hate it.They know that the nice guy’s that want love and trust figured out how to get it and they are freaken the fuck out.KEEP FUCKING STUDYING,IT WORK’S.Even now,I’m caring less about the hater’s that don’t matter on this shit and directing this shit to those who matter compared to my last letter.These people that talk shit to us are irrelevant,I just want to address and help the good guy’s here dedicated to bettering themselves so they can be the men they’re perfect ,amazing ,sweet,loving perfect 10 future women deserves.The nice guy’s will finish first.Best thing is,on your way to being who you want ,you will have sex with lot’s of 8’s and 9’s.Enjoy,I know I will……..hear we go!

    • Jesse Charger

      great points about negs Dan, thanks

      • King Tofu

        I can understand how joking around with a girl can work, becau I do that, but you guys defend negging as if it’s infallible and you guys criticize the actual women who try to tell you otherwise and tgen you talk shut on them. You don’t defend your argument, you guys just pick specific words from the arguments of the people against it and ignore the main points of tge argument over minor, perceived errors. At the end of the day, negging is just a terrible thing. It’s main purpose is to talk away a girl’s confidence to make her stoop to your level and an argument otherwise is rarely consistent or valid. It’s blatantly misogynistic, and you ignore any suggestion of going for other girls. Moreover, any middle ground or third option is completely ignored, that is, simply using other “techniques” or attempting to gain legitimate confidence. Also, Charger should keep his argument straight stop talking shit (even though we all know he’s full of it) and I bring the party to the club.

    • Just picked up your girl with that negg game

      dan is the fucking man, and i would like to keep up with this guys insights.

  89. Dan

    Now,I will admit that these neg’s kinda suck but that’s not the issue here.The issue is negging in general.The confused fat girl’s and man hating lesbians will most likely not be able to get past they’re pride considering pride is the number one cause of stupidity but I’ll try anyways.

    If your not a total bitch and you actually have a personality and some sort of intelligence,a well timed neg will make you laugh your ass of just as it should and if your really intelligent you will come back with a neg of your own.So,just encase you missed it,neg’s work on attractive,intelligent,personable,LOVABLE women.

    One last note….A women of true value and stature will still except your neg and any other tactic’s you may use to get her even if she has read and studied every book on seduction.The reason for this being as she will also know this is a game and be delighted to play along and test your worth(and if she know’s that much,trust me,you will be toyed with).

    • Jesse Charger

      Great points Dan, thanks

      • King Tofu

        I thought this wad about hooking up in the club.

    • anon5

      An intelligent woman would not be drawn in by a neg.

      A mindless woman who only lives to impress men may be reeled in, but if you are looking for a woman who is smart then you are doing it wrong. It isn’t funny, it’s pretty weird and some of them are hurtful.

      Even if a woman has a high self esteem and is beautiful, a neg can still be irritating and usually drives them off. Everyone is different, so if this works for you on whatever crazy women you are hitting on then by all means continue- but whoever you catch with a “neg” won’t last long.

      I’d suggest actual jokes, rather than negs, like making fun of some other guy who was being too handsy with her or just be funny. Anyone who makes a woman laugh will be able to keep their attention, but making a woman feel uncomfortable with a “neg” will only drive them away.

    • Anonymous

      Does anyone remember simpler times when you could just go up to a pretty girl, smile and give her a genuine compliment and get a genuine smile in return? Those were the days….now they have so many walls and superiority complexes it’s just not worth it.

  90. Eugene

    Keep going Jesse. You da’ man. Love ya, buddy. ;)

    • Jesse Charger

      Thanks for the man love 8) :)

      • Anonymous

        Jesse, you will never be in a happy relationship.

  91. Rebecca

    Rational responses to your “negs” and what she’s thinking….

    For a girl with a belly shirt: “Did your shirt shrink in the laundry?” – No. (Get away from this idiot)

    “Your roots are showing.” – Fuck off! (What an asshole)

    “Your nose is a little red. You’re like an Eskimo. Cool.” – Err thanks? (Wow racist much?? Also reapply make up and stay away from the racist)

    “You know, you look just like my little sister. Weird.” – Really, so you’re into incest then? As you seem to be checking me out. (Run the fuck away! Also maybe call the cops about possible incestuous relationship with his sister… Or just warn his sister he thinks she’s hot.) *Side note – if she responds to this comment with anything other than disgust, run away from her… Nobody should be okay with incest*

    “You know, I like that outfit you’ve got on… but I don’t know… your shoes don’t really match. You should have gone with tan boots…” – *Blank stare* (He’s gay)

    If she’s talking tell her friends, “So do you guys ever get a word in edge wise?” – No they usually wait until they can be a complete prick and try to make someone look insignificant, but then you chimed in with your comment and stole their thunder… (What an asshole)

    “Hey… you look like that cartoon character… yeah that’s right, Rainbow Brite remember her?” – No sorry, I’m too young. There are some people more your own age here though, why don’t you try talking to them. (Rainbow Bright was awesome!)

    “I like your eyes. Hey… are you wearing colored contacts??? (before she can answer) Oh my god, no way, you are…” – Nope, wanna see me touch my eyeball to prove it? (Why is this guy still talking to me)

    “You know, your body language is all closed off. It makes you look like one of those newborns I saw on the discovery channel when they came out of the womb – all curled up.” – Thanks for the tip Dr. (Douchebag)

    “Hey, you’re a goof.” – Right back at you. (Dick)

    I’m fairly certain these would never work.

    • Dan

      If you would really respond that way to a person asking you if you have colored contacts then you have some big issue’s and I would recommend anger management ASAP!!!!!!!!!

      If you had a sexy tummy(and I know you don’t),me asking you if your shirt shrunk in the laundry you would be able to lol and show some IoI but your tummy is nasty(might not be so bad if your personality was nice but fat girl’s with bad personalities,that suck’s).

      “Hey, you’re a goof.” – “right back at you. (Dick)” Hey,calm it down lady,I’m not your ex boyfriend that made you feel fat,I”m just a guy havin a good time here.

      “You know, your body language is all closed off. It makes you look like one of those newborns I saw on the discovery channel when they came out of the womb – all curled up.” – “Thanks for the tip Dr. (Douchebag)” Hey look at that,you got one right.This is not a neg but more of an insult so ya,Jesse Charger is a dick.Yaaaa(No but really,if you can neg a girl with this and still fuck her somehow your an animal).

      “Hey… you look like that cartoon character… yeah that’s right, Rainbow Brite remember her?” ” No sorry, I’m too young. There are some people more your own age here though, why don’t you try talking to them”. Trying to make a guy look like he likes to fuck kid’s because he hit’s on a women in a bar.good job!

      If she’s talking tell her friends, “So do you guys ever get a word in edge wise?” – “No they usually wait until they can be a complete prick and try to make someone look insignificant, but then you chimed in with your comment and stole their thunder… (What an asshole)” That shit is funny and if a girl almost as fat as you said that shit to me she would be getting the Dancock that night(maybe not,last time I had a big chick it freaked me out and I had to tell her some bullshit about respecting her to much).

      “Your nose is a little red. You’re like an Eskimo. Cool.” – “Err thanks? (Wow racist much?? Also reapply make up and stay away from the racist)” Really?Racist?Because of eskimo………..I have nothing to say to this.wtf?

      “You know, I like that outfit you’ve got on… but I don’t know… your shoes don’t really match. You should have gone with tan boots…” – “*Blank stare* (He’s gay)” Is it gay that I tan,pluck my eyebrow’s,do yoga and like to keep up on the latest fashion trend’s?No,it mean’s I’m not a caveman and I like to fuck hot women,so shut your mouth already cavewomen(that’s your new name)!

      “Your roots are showing.” – Fuck off! (What an asshole) I can’t defend this one.Sorry.

      • jdbug

        Don’t you love how the only “best comment” comments are all pro-negging even though there are some very thoughtful and well written anti-negging ones?

    • Jesse Charger

      Dan very good points, thanks for the write-up

      • King Tofu

        You’re not proving any points about how negging is a good thing though. You sort of just favor the the worst comments that anyone would tell you were sexist. You’re disproving your own point by agreeing with the dude who brings up a girl he doesn’t know being fat, when you’re trying to say you’re not putting the girl down, but all she did was explain her opinion.

    • I like nice guys...

      I think I would be weirded out if someone came up to me, asked a question and then interrupted me with “Oh my god, no way you are!” I totally agree with Rebecca. But hey, if you have nothing more to say than insults about someone’s physical appearance (that you have never seen) when they don’t agree with your shallow pick up techniques. I’m not ugly or overweight (but you can tell yourself I am if that makes you feel better), I’ve been negged… and frankly it’s a turn off.

    • Feminist

      :mrgreen: Love your comment, Rebecca! Kudos on the racist note, ignorant people still do not know that “Eskimo” is a derogatory term.

  92. Fnord

    Negging by Proxy, #17:

    “Sure, she’s cute … but you have a natural beauty that I like.”

    (Emphasize the word “natural” … she will want to know what you mean. Be prepared to explain that you think women who obviously put too much effort into their appearance may not put as much effort into their personalities … or their relationships …)

  93. Fnord

    Negging by Proxy, #27:

    “Can you break a twenty? I’d ask your friend, but she looks like she spent it all on accessories / botox / clothes / hair / jewelry / lipo / makeup / manicures / shoes / silicone / whatever.”

    :twisted:

    • SLUTshamer1001&count'n

      To David and the rest of you idiot’s What are you talking about, you are acting like you just accomplished something? WARNING!!! MEN ARE DECEIVING WOMEN JUST FOR THE SAKE OF PUA

  94. Rob

    Jesse, sounds like you pissed off a bunch of chubby chicks that haven’t a clue about what it takes to attract men. LOL I guarantee that all of these girls have been teased, but NONE of them have been “negged” because the guy was attracted to them (two completely different things) and they’re completely confusing the too.

    Keep speaking the truth Jesse.

    • Jesse Charger

      Rob, you hit the nail on the head. :lol:

      • Anonymous

        Jesse, you are a fucking asshole.

    • Anonymous

      Are you calling me chubby?! Ohhh wait, I get it. You’re trying to lower my self-esteem, aren’t you? I’m supposed to go home with you and fuck you now, right? Pathetic beyond belief.

      Maybe if you started treating women like human beings and stopped posting demeaning comments about them, you’d actually find a real one to sleep with.

  95. Chris 2

    PS Do you want the ultimate “neg”? Like any other neg, it starts with a compliment and ends on an insult. It is much more effective on men than on woman.

    “I think you are a great/awesome person, but let’s just be friends.”

    The guy will be after you for at least six months.

    • Anonymous

      Boss.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve also heard it as “You’re an amazing guy, You’ll make a girl really happy one day”
      I think this might be worse IMHO, if not because the tack on of “one day”
      I bow to the master though.

    • Jesse Charger

      good ones

    • Emma

      …Oh my god. xD That’s actually hilarious, kudos on a fantastic one-liner.

      I do want to point out that negging and friendzoning are kind of opposites — negging is a veiled jab meant to attract a girl, and friendzoning is meant to be an easy letdown to deter a guy.

    • I try to treat others as I would like to be treated

      I have never used that in an effort to keep a guy “after” me. I’ve only ever said that sincerely. And I usually say something like that because saying “I find you mentally appealing but physically unattractive” or “I like many things about you but your lifestyle habits have destroyed any attraction I may have once felt” seem cruel. Though if they ask why, I’ll find an honest way to state the reason behind my lack of interest, being gentle if at all possible.

    • SexyConfidentWoman

      Why is that an insult?
      Why are you taking things so fucking personally for?

      THE FACT OF LIFE THERE ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT END UP EITHER AS ACQUAINTANCES, JUST FRIENDS, LOVER, HUSBAND.

      You have got to fucking grow up and get to grips with this fact and accept it as it is. You cannot force someone to love you and expect them to love you back just because you think you would make a great pair. Attraction doesn’t work the way you think it does everyone is different.

    • SexyConfidentWoman

      dickhead!!!!!!!!

      • SexyConfidentWoman

        Chris 2 thinks its insulting that a woman wants to be his friend!!!!!

        What is so fucking offensive about just being friends?

        No-one has to fuck you just because you are a awesome great person besides God thinks were all great and awesome and God is an astonishing friend. Don’t underestimate how precious friendship can be.

    • Oh, I'm sorry. Let me help you with that.

      “I think you’re a manipulative, albeit occasionally funny, asshole, and I can tell that you think I’m an idiot that you can control.
      “And no, before you ask again, I will not break up with my supportive boyfriend and date you just because you have ‘been nice’ with ‘no ulterior objectives’.
      “I wish you would find some else to be romantically interested in and not complicate a friendship that I value less and less with every dick thing you say.”

      Better?

  96. Chris 2

    I find this very dishonest, and morally questionable.

    The bad part is, it works. I know female friends that have fell for it. I have tried it once (regrettably) on someone that is considered me just a friend until I did the back-handed compliments a few times. (A much longer story, but that is the basics.)

    The women here, ask yourselves, why does this make you so mad? A sliver of truth perhaps? If I said a great way to pick up women was to walk in on the while they are going to the bathroom and read them poetry, you would most likely blow it off as stupid, because it would never work. But here it seems to have struck a nerve.

    It does work, and it is wrong to do.

    • Eugene

      Dude, if you had said that to pick up women is to read them poetry, I don’t even think there would be a single women present on this page. I mean… Duh ? Isn’t it obvious why the girls are whining so hard down here ? Damn Right it works ? =.= They’re just mad that it works that is why they try to convince (not to mention they tried it so hard) everyone that it isn’t working, only to send the opposite signal because if really it isn’t working, why are they still complaining ? They wouldnt even need to make their presence felt if it really isnt working right ? Poor girls… pity them so badly…

    • Uh No

      Women are responding because it’s hurtful.

      If this page said to pick up girls by pinching them, women would respond.

      We all know pinching women won’t work, but we’d still be angry because it promotes hurting women!

      Maybe the article would mention to pinch very lightly so it doesn’t hurt very badly. That’s no excuse because for all the guys pinching “lightly” there would be guys who didn’t.

      Also, you don’t know how hard will hurt a girl. Maybe you think you pinch lightly, but she has a bruise there. That hurts. Maybe you think you pinch lightly but you misjudge your strength. That hurts too.

      It’s the same with negging. You think it’s funny or not hurtful, but you might strike a nerve or insult too hard.

      Also, next time you try to explain women’s motives, become one and experience the danger, hurt, and rejection that we go through everyday.

      • Anonymous

        Cry me a f*cking river you seriously think men don’t go through EXACTLY THE SAME SH*T? We are CONSTANTLY judged and rejected….just imagine if YOU had to get rejected 20 times before you got a smile….let’s switch places shall we? Our life and breath hang on how “confident” we can appear in spite of constant rejection so frankly I’ve no pity for you…at least you can get laid anytime you want….

      • That person

        You are a hypocritical, misogynistic, asshole Anon.

        First off, why don’t you try seeing it form a womans view. You’re an average looking woman, you’re sitting in a bar, and a bunch of hot dudes show up, and each time, a hot dude passes past you, to that other chick. Or he talks to you for a bit to get that other chick jealous so he can score with her instead. And eventually, you’re in the bar, alone, while all the other chicks are with those hot dudes who just passed right past you without a second thought.

        That is rejection, and its just as painful, if not more, than being told no. And you know what, there are woman who straight up go to guys they find attractive, and try to start a conversation, but it goes nowhere. Yeah, that hurts too. And you know, the entire time, all you can think is “Every single one of these dudes could go out and get any chick they want”, but none of them want you.

        So no, fuck you Anon. Fuck you for thinking woman never feel rejection. Fuck you for thinking that women don’t feel judged, and that they don’t have to feel confident. Fuck you for always going after the chicks who are always out of your league, and blaming them for not loving you. And fuck you for thinking that women can go out and get laid anytime they want.

    • Luci

      “why does this make you so mad?”

      For the same reason you specified; the inherent dishonesty (and manipulativeness) of it coupled with the enthusiasm both to espouse it as a technique and willingness to practice it (without thought).

      I get this is only meant for “hot” girls, an “8” or above (shallow, by the way) but I’d name a couple of problems with this and how it’s been presented here:

      a) subjectivity. you might think she’s hot, but that she’s lavished with attention and won’t give you the time of day otherwise is YOUR preconception and perception of her. it’s not necessarily related to reality..

      b) you don’t know her. even if you judge her by a panel of your peers to be a 10, and watch as people vie for her attention, you do not know that she’s not insecure inside, or to what extent. In fact, this whole thing is based around the assumption that you can manipulate her insecurities…doesn’t that seem a bit, well, nasty?

      c) that she “deserves” it because otherwise she wouldn’t look at you, or would laugh at you. Because that’s happened to you before. Well, your previous experiences shouldn’t be her fault or her problem. That said, she’s perfectly entitled NOT to be interested in you – wouldn’t it be better to find somebody who IS interested in you rather than trick her into it by lowering her self-worth?

      It’s happened to me before, and I was mostly just bewildered. I was eating out and having these small crumble-cake things. A guy sides over to me, sees what I’m putting on my plate, and comments I wouldn’t have too many of those, there’s probably lots of calories in them. I’m like, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? And he’s like, oh, well not you, you look amazing right now, especially compared to most of the people in here.

      I got back to the table and shared with the group, and was told, he was negging you. He was trying to lower your self-esteem then give you a compliment to bolster it. I was like…oh. but my reaction was just, why is some strange man suddenly talking to me?

      It’s kind of interesting, after that I read ‘The Game’ and was initially annoyed at this kind of stuff. But by the end of the book, it was clear it wasn’t really about the ‘techniques’, just someone’s journey from being somewhat douchey to semi-decent.

      When you start seeing women as other “people” rather than objects to score and brag to your friends about, your journey will be complete.

      • anon5

        See, the OP won’t rate this as the best comment even though it is.

      • SexyConfidentWoman

        By the way what is negging anyway it sounds like its just giving a insult then saying a compliment how would this have any impact on a women’s self worth. Which is something that doesn’t come from compliments or insults.

        This negging sounds like old fashioned misogyny where a man is jealous of women’s inner strength and so tries to delude himself into thinking he has some control over another woman’s self esteem which he has none power to do so its plain satanic.

        Why can’t you men just be fucking supportive for once us women have been supporting you fuckers like we are your mothers for centuries but you simply cannot do it back for us.
        You selfish fuckers you have everything, you rule over everything yet you are never satisfied!!!!!

    • Anonymous

      I noticed it too women seem to get really bent out of shape with a simple tease…funny they have no problem crucifying a man if he’s” not up to their standards”…..gotta love the one way street…

      • jdbug

        Aren’t we all sexist, men and women?

      • SexyConfidentWoman

        Liar men are more shallow then women always have been always will be deep down you know you men always need a woman to help you search deep within yourselves because you are plain ass too shallow to look within yourselves on your own.

      • Sanchez

        SexyConfidentWoman – All sexes are shallow. All of us. full stop. Even though Men and Women are more alike than everyone think.

        Everything is based on Survival of the fittest – The gene pool – and the greater good of humanity.

        Even this bickering on a simple exploit of our human nature is part of that process.

        I have quite a fair share to contribute on this topic, and I would love to hear everyone’s take on it in the near future.

    • Working to improve equal rights

      It offends me because I’m a male-feminist who doesn’t like to see the women I know put down by other men because those men have issues and need to resort to insults to compensate.

  97. sky

    This is a complex topic!! First of all, I noticed the people that said “pretty girls don’t like assholes” and “this is a good indication of low self esteem” and “this will never work” were from women. I would say that hot women don’t WANT to want assholes, but how many times does that end up being the case? The truth: if you go to a given club and be polite to girls, you will PROBABLY fail. For example, I went to a club last year and kept track of my success the whole night. My pickup line was “hey, how’s it going?” 6 out of 9 girls that night didn’t even make eye contact with me. Then again, there are other places in which very simple, nice guy lines will work. I don’t really want to have success with a club girl anyway because they are superficial, in most cases.

    With regard to negging, I would say that some lines shouldn’t be said, for example, the nose line. I use techniques like this, but I ALWAYS make sure I make fun of something she has control over, such as something funny she said. Ex: “Are you serious? I thought people stopped saying that in the 90’s!” I have found that it lightens the mood and it’s just a joke. The truth is, good looking women constantly have guys all over them, some of which are very creepy, and the worst thing you can do is sound like all of the other guys when you approach her. I’m not sure how many guys say this stuff, but when a hot girl can tell you’re not just idolizing her for her looks or etc, she is way more likely to respond. In this case, this is treating her like a human!!!!!!! When you do the opposite and treat her like she is worth more than you just because of her looks, you are doomed to fail. And ladies, I would be willing to bet that you don’t like it when a guy treats you like a goddess just because of your body or looks. People want to be liked for the things they have control over!!

    But above all else, be interesting, funny, genuine, and try to have an intelligent conversation with her.

    • Jesse Charger

      Thanks for the thoughtful comments sky

    • shan

      Nice comment!

      Clubs are the worst place to find girls. Seriously. Plus half the girls there are just after a good time with their friends, and don’t want to be picked up by strangers. So there’s that..

    • Anon

      Best comment.

    • Been Around The Block

      The “90s” comment is stellar. Seriously, ladies, is THAT so insulting that you couldn’t possibly see how a comment/tease like that could lighten the mood?

      Or something like “Oh man, you would’ve been the type of girl to like RightSedFred/Macarana back in the day, right?” Where’s the soul-crushing insult with something like that? THAT is a “neg.” It’s a great way to tease a girl. Most of you ladies have dealt with guys who didn’t take the time to understand WHY a “neg” could work. They just read “Oh, insult her? AWESOME” and went out and did it. I don’t blame you for being able to see through that and want nothing to do with it. Good for you. You have self esteem and that’s wonderful. A woman like you is one to be desired by suitable partner.

      But if a comment like the “90s” comment or my “RightSedFred” comment WILL INSTANTLY turn you off and make you walk away, then I have to question how many times ANYONE has ever criticized you about anything. Are you able to look at yourself and laugh? Are you able to acknowledge some of your own flaws? A well-rounded person can do that and that’s what should be the make-up of a good partner. Notice I said “partner,” not “piece of fuck meat” or something else.

      And little comments like that are why it’s good to know some “game” because not everyone understands this stuff on their own.

      • fait accompli

        You sir, have confidence.

    • Anon.

      See, this is fine–it’s light joking, it’s an attempt to be genuine. What you discuss is not what the article describes at all.

  98. lawl

    “Pretty girls don’t like assholes.”

    Laughed at that one. Women love assholes, the nice guys are for later, after they’ve slept with all the badboys, and need someone to take care of their mistakes.

    • Ahmed

      haha! excellent comment. i couldnt agree more. the old saying “nice guys finish last” comes to mind here. and it’s true. women can claim to like nice guys all they want but the truth, ladies, is that you’d rather hook up with the entire varsity football team than the quiet nerdy kid in the batman tshirt (i.e. yours truly back in high school). look, i dont condone putting women down or treating them like shit or anything like that, but at the same time you cant be TOO nice. some girls tend to mistake that kindness for weakness or vulnerability. be a gentleman. treat her with respect and adoration. but a little playful jab directed at her appearance or her clothes or anything superficial like that can go a long way. you dont want her to feel insulted or devalued. you want her to take it lightly and laugh at herself. if you can get a girl to laugh at herself with a silly one-liner like “your nose is red. you look like an eskimo.” then youre fuckin golden.

      • Anonymous

        you know why girls didn’t want to hook up with you? Because you’re not really a nice guy. What you are is one of those guys who pretends to be nice and then turn into an asshole when women are not all over you.
        Someday you’re going to “neg” a girl and she’s going to give you an answer that’s so good that will make you feel terrible about yourself. There’s no “maybe” here, it IS going to happen.

      • Getting real tired of this

        A) Using phrases like “Nice guys finish last” = real turn off. Also agreeing with the guy above doesn’t help your case. If those girls he’s after are “sleeping with every asshole”, I think they might have missed one.

        B) Yes teasing can bring out a giggle or two BETWEEN FRIENDS but you do realize most girls can get really self conscious about their looks and how people feel about what they wear?

        C) Expecting something from people from square one doesn’t make you all that nice.

      • Anon.

        “Nice” and nerdy are not synonymous. This seems to be a common mistake. Nerd vs. Jock has nothing to do with being nice! Don’t kid yourself. It’s about how a man carries himself.

        Women are attracted to confidence. Assholes exude (often false) confidence, which is where the whole ‘women like assholes’ belief comes from. But you can be genuine and caring and confident and that is the most effective. Why else would so many girls be head over heels for Ryan Gossling, the poster boy of “Hey girl” quips involving respect?

        It seems to me that the POINT of negging is to exude that confidence in a playful way that is not enough to actually hurt anyone’s self esteem. However, it also seems that this is taken too far by many who try the technique.

      • Anonymous

        Way to generalize and stereotype women. I, for one, have never wanted to “hook up with the entire varsity football team.” Hell, my boyfriend spends more time in front of MMOs than in a sports uniform. But if that’s the kind of girl you’re into, then hey…throw on a jersey and I’m sure she won’t be clever enough to know the difference.

        Also, since when do girls see kindness as a sign of weakness? If some guy were to approach me at a bar and strike up a conversation or compliment me, he’d be a lot better off than if he’d started by teasing me about my overlarge nose. Again, maybe the girls you’re going after are the kind of girls who are actually attracted to assholes, so I guess this technique wouldn’t work. I never understood why guys WANT girls like those, but hey. Whatever floats your boat.

      • Exp is Golden

        I see two issues in your logic here.
        First of all, you assume that all women like the same thing. Secondly, you categorize and objectify men, devaluing their individual worth.
        Now, I can tell you from personal experience that I hate nice guy, which, as someone has already pointed does NOT mean I hate nerdy guys.

        I play Pathfinders, and I’m genuinely interested in finding a sorcerer to my rogue. I appreciate someone who knows the terms “Left4Dead” and Might and Magic” and can usually guess whether a fairytale belongs to Hans Christen Anderson or the brothers Grimm. I like guys who knows that there are different types of dragons, and that elves are NOT (just) Santa’s helpers.
        So your opinions on what women want are, more or less, null and void.

        You have stated that you were “a quite nerdy kid in a batman shirt” tell me, did also play an instrument? Did you write poetry or stories? Did you paint? Were you quick with a joke? Did you read interesting things and talk about them later? Did you play games, Table-top or video? Did you dance or sing or play any sports at all (swimming, track, or cross country)?

        Or wait, I know.
        Did you focus on one or two girls, who did not share your interests? (Of which we know one, the Dark Knight of the DC Universe.) Did you do “nice” things for them out of “the kindness of you heart” and expected absolutely nothing for it? Did you get mad when they didn’t reciprocate?

        Oh, or better,
        Did you never actually approach said females, but expected them to somehow take time out of their lives, and whatever they were doing, to cater to your feelings, a boy whom they did not know? Did you ever consider that the hypothetical football team that she slept with probably spoke to her? Found things to talk about with her? Hell, they may have been assholes who lied to her, but on some level they reached out to her?

        My point being that “Nice” does not equal “quiet” or “nerdy”, just as “Asshole” does not equal “extrovert” or “jock”.
        Dick.

      • Anonymous

        what’s with everyone thinking nerdy = nice? just because you’re not the school bully doesn’t mean you’re not an asshole. you’re just the quiet asshole who doesn’t have the muscle mass to back up being vocal about it. and a lot of the alpha males aren’t assholes. i’ve met some really hot guys who had better morals and ethics than most of the nerds i’ve known. in fact, life as a nerd tends to make people a little bitter and maladjusted… just sayin’.

    • Just Me

      Ahmed, see all the stuff you just said? It makes you NOT a nice person, it makes you a bitter ‘Nice Guy’.

      Why you assume the football players are assholes and you’re nice? Maybe they are nice AND fit, and maybe you are quiet AND a douche.

      Or maybe you were just punching above your weight the whole times, and there was a little chubby girl in a batman teeshirt that would have gone to town on you, but you never noticed her cos you were too busy staring at the superhot popular footballer’s girlfriends.

      • Anonymous

        Lol most superficial statement made on this topic so far, you basically telling someone theyre not good looking enough to get the girl they really want, they should “lower their standards” don know if ur a guy or a girl but you are the reason this technique was made. To level the playing fields and make superficial girls realize there’s more to a man than just muscles and testosterone. Human beings always revert back to their primal instincts eg. Men look for “hot” women because they are fit and have baby making genes. Women look for healthy fit men who are big built because the can protect them and produce good genetics for future generations. This type of primal instinct has not been necessary since the times of cave men so why must guys now days “settle for second best”

      • anon5

        No, that made a lot of sense. Anon below, you are basically asking girls to lower their standards and the way you want them to view you is as a guy who says “Hey… you look like that cartoon character… yeah that’s right, Rainbow Brite remember her?” If some guy in a Batman T-shirt said that to me, I’d be gone so fast he wouldn’t have time to blink.
        Also, great stereotype that ‘hot girls’ ignore the ‘guy in the Batman shirt’. What time are you from?
        This is 2013.
        I would like to add that you are all talking about women as if each and every one of them have this need to be with assholes, but really it is guys like you that get cheated on.
        Not to mention just as many guys cheat on their girls, so I’m not sure why you bring up the fact that SOME women cheat on their husbands? Maybe they were being abused, maybe they were someone like you, maybe they were even more of an inconsiderate asshole.
        Another point:
        You said “To level the playing fields and make superficial girls realize there’s more to a man than just muscles and testosterone”

        But then you also said ‘you basically telling someone theyre not good looking enough to get the girl they really want, they should “lower their standards”’. Then followed with “there’s more to a man than just muscles and testosterone”
        Well, let me tell you. There is more to girls than just their looks, so just because the other user suggested you were too busy looking at hot girls and maybe you missed the chubby girl who had the same interests doesn’t mean that’s “lowering your standards”. There is more to girls than just their looks, just as there is more to guys than just their muscles.

        Get over yourself, you’re like a broken record on repeat.

      • Anonymous

        Couldn’t agree more. I’m tired of “nerdy” guys whining about how all the hot girls are bitches and won’t give them the time of day…and meanwhile, those guys are doing the EXACT same thing to average-looking, quiet nerd girls who aren’t as obnoxious and showy as the “hot” ones.

        I know there’s this running stereotype of athletes being pompous assholes and nerds being sweet, caring, vulnerable guys, but clearly it can go both ways.

      • fait accompli

        Anon5, win!
        Also, Its not lowering standards, its about staying in your league. Hot girls will be with hot guys, hot guys will be with hot girls.
        I do understand the point of negging, but I think it would make a guy sound insecure or socially awkward. The only way to date above your league is true confidence. You don’t have to insult a girl to act like your not interested. Believe it or not, but even the most beautiful women are insecure about their looks because it’s not easy getting so much attention. It gets old quick. If a girl wants you, you’ll know it. Women know if a guy has a chance before he even opens his mouth. That’s why real confidence matters.

    • jdbug

      *SOME* women like assholes. Me personally, I’ve never ever felt any attraction towards one in my life.

    • While I respect that you try to have limits...

      Boys who try to weasel their way into a woman’s life by acting like a passive doormat finish last. Nice guys who are open and honest don’t. Boys with self-esteem issues finish last. Confident men who don’t need to disrespect others are successful. Women may end up dating “assholes” but if they’re dating the man, it’s often because something (not just their innate asshole-ness) is attractive to the woman. Ie. He tells funny jokes, he has some similar interest (yoga, dance, rock-climbing), he seems interesting (aka. not boring/he actually has a life where he does things), he’s successful (some women are motivated and like like-minded individuals), or maybe he’s just really well-hung and/or is good in bed.

      • Anonymous

        So basically what you’re saying is that it’s okay to be an asshole if you’re successful, or you have a huge dick?

    • SexyConfidentWoman

      No, you are probably just using that as an excuse to be bad yourself or make excuses to be an asshole just because you think chicks like it.

      Why so biased?
      Why can’t you think for yourself?
      The idea of women being attracted to bad guys has been reinforced through Hollywood and media written by bad guys did you ever think of that one?

      Why do you believe this when there are 3.5billion women in the world who are all different?

      You need to think more from a woman’s perspective and stop assuming we are all sleeping with bad boys.

      You seem to think assholes never get rejected by women.

  99. Karen

    Oh lord. So you try to find something about a woman that can be used to diminish her or in some way doubt her self-worth?

    You’re the type of guy who has chopped up bits of women stuffed in the truck of his car, aren’t you?

    Misogyny is FUCKING STUPID AND EVIL. It’s not “playful”. It’s not “clever”. And if you don’t think this shit is misogynistic, fer chrissakes, please take yourself out of the gene pool.

    Thank goodness my fiance builds me up instead of tearing me down…or I wouldn’t be marrying him.

    • Jesse Charger

      A neg is used once on a girl at the beginning on an interaction. That’s it. It’s not used in relationships.

      A guy would only “use negs” on *specific* girls (hot girls that are used to having their asses kissed) at a nightclub when they FIRST MEET and would NOT be negging YOU in a marriage relationship.

      • While I respect that you try to have limits...

        While I respect that you try to limit your comments that you use to tear a woman down in order to secure a more solid introduction to first meetings, any time a guy tries this on me, rejection is quick to follow. And for the guys who try less-subtle/more-asinine comments, a brutal rejection is the response. When a man is kind, I always try to be kind in return, even when I’m not in the mood for ANY male attention.

      • Anonymous

        however you start it is how i’ll end it, but i will not be tricked into anything with someone i don’t find appealing based on their own merits. if you’re disrespectful (any manipulation is disrespectful) then i will be too.

    • Anonymous

      And study after study shows you are going cheat on him. You are going end up being bored with him and want tension and drama. And that dominant alpha is going to be the one you do it with. What you say and what you do are too different things. You can throw the M bomb out all you want. But PUA did not grow from a couple of guys in a chat room to a billion dollar business because it doesn’t work. You have this part of your little hamster that is telling you one thing, but back in your hindbrain you want the Dark Triad personality that you know will protect you and find a way to support you. Negging appeals to hindbrain part. It shows the guy will not allow you to dominate him like you do your little beta chump boyfriend that you have right now. So if you’re gonna get all huffy and walk away, big deal. So what. Next. Negging works as part of total frame of the man. You believe yourself to be better than that woman; you are the prize; she is lucky to have you. And if you are strong enough and resolute enough in your frame that others will accept it. If you look like a little throwing sour grapes then that is what you are. But you are confident in yourself, believe in yourself, and show any woman that she will not dominate you, then you will get much further in the long run. Better that a woman walks away from you than it is that you grovel like a chump in front of her, placating her ego like every other schmuck.

      Neg her.

      • Getting real tired of this

        I think I just threw up a little in my mouth while reading that.

        So if she likes to be praised rather than mocked “Oh what a huge ego. She will cheat on him because he’s boring. She just wants to dominate.”

        But when the OH SO INCREDIBLE MAN is a dominating asshole it’s perfectly acceptable? How the hell is a guy who says this sort of bullshit going to protect her? Who would lower her standards so much that she wants to be protected by someone who BELITTLES HER AND WANTS TO DOMINATE HER? That’s not protection, genius.

      • Did you really say that??

        I had a guy “neg” me last time I went out with my girlies and honestly, I’d found the guy attractive until he’d tried that. I couldn’t imagine getting involved with that guy… or any guy who likes to put me down in order to give himself confidence (let alone ever get around to sleeping with him?! Eew!) So, for your information, if you try this on confident women, they’ll turn you down like the pathetic and insecure boy that you are.

      • SexyConfidentWoman

        Negging just doesn’t sound healthy at all because they are assuming that other guys are already stroking a girls ego.

        I’m not being funny but the modern age is bringing in new problems that weren’t here before and this negging technique completely ignores this aspect where he should be getting to know the woman in a healthy way instead the negger is already assuming that women will never show him any respect so is teaching her to respect him in a very hostile way and the fact of the matter is the woman in question might actually be someone good natured and its plain exploitive to that to women neggers are just trying to bed lots of women without thinking of the consequences on that woman’s life.

      • SexyConfidentWoman

        No real scientific proof whatsoever!!

      • Uh Guys?

        This is a troll. Clearly.
        There is literally no one stupid enough to believe this bullshit. Some of the other neggers might be a thing, but this guy is full shit, and looking for a response because mommy didn’t love him or her enough. Do not feed him.

      • S

        “her beta chump boyfriend”

        she already has a boyfriend – so you’ve already lost.

    • David

      And that lady’s and gentlemen is what I call sweet negging, brought to you by “anonymous” !! Really nice comment and sweet way to neg her!!

      • Anonymous

        negging and trolling are the same thing. lol that’s funny. that’s like people who think anger = attraction.

    • Anonymous

      Our society has been twisted around so much that attitudes like Karens have become very common. It’s no wonder some guys have to resort to negging a woman he desires. Sorry Karen, but you sound like a real bitch.

      • SexyConfidentWoman

        No anonymous you sound like a total bastard for using a false misconception that Karen’s attitude is common.

        First starters each of us have unique DNA and unique abilities so you are very wrong in your assumption that Karen has a common attitude.
        Also wrong in assuming guys are using negging for the woman he desires in fact guys use negging for all sorts of reasons the main common one is to sleep with as many women as possible also its scientifically proven that men who use these techniques resort to sex addiction and many other addictions like drug abuse.
        That being said a sex addict is not pursuing women that he desires just anyone to fuel his addiction.
        Also sex can make you or break you negging is like game theory these new modern men are like prostitutes and use negging and game everywhere and can pick up women in the streets. It is not a lifestyle for the better of society.

  100. Anonymous

    I’ve had problems talking to women my entire life, before I discovered this technique by chance. I’m actually sad to say it, but it does work most of the time. It’s hard for me to feel sorry for using the technique since 9 out of 10 times in the past when I’ve approached women in a polite and friendly way to say hello and introduce myself, it’s seems there immediate response is to insult me. All this technique does is bring them down to your level before they stamp you into the ground. If your a woman and you’ve been seduced in this way by guys, been used and left to call a cab then maybe next time you should be nice to the nice guy.

    • Father

      So you like to talk to women who are jerks, and you have no trouble being a jerk yourself.  Whichever one came first, get out of that cycle.

      For pretty teenagers in particular, you should realize that their self-esteem is just as fragile as any other teenager and they get victimized by jerks regularly.  Some get to believe most men are jerks.  When you try to “bring them down to your level” you are simply projecting onto them the responsibility for the rejection you have felt before, and acting like a bully by trying to shame them in front of their friends.  They will stand up to you in person, but they will be crying at home and feeling worthless.  No one deserves that.

      Don’t be a jerk.   Do something positive instead.  Volunteer at an old age home or Habitat for Humanity or something and invite nice people to volunteer as well.  Invite them to come up to your level instead of trying to bring people down to yours by hurting them.

      • Random Guy

        I agree with you ‘Father’.

      • Anonymous

        Father is right. When you neg on a young woman, you are projecting responsibility for previous rejections onto her.

        Did you ever stop to think that if a beautiful woman doesn’t respond to you, she probably has a reason? For example, maybe she has hearing impairment from going to too many loud clubs and can’t hear you over the throbbing bass, or maybe her peripheral vision is shot from too many years of dancing in strobe lighting. Maybe she’s there with her girlfriends and not interested in finding a man at the moment. Or maybe– just maybe– she is able to surmise that you’re only interested in sex and doesn’t want to deal with being harassed. Women– especially beautiful women– are often treated as sexual objects, which, believe it or not, is offensive. If this is the case, you should blame our patriarchal, sexist culture at large when a beautiful woman rejects you.

        Of course it is possible that maybe the beautiful young woman you’ve approached is, as you suggest, stuck-up and thinks of herself as being “better” than other people. And if this is actually the case, why on Earth would you want to spend time with a person like that? You would be much better off seeking out a woman whose character is just as beautiful as her body.

      • Anonymous

        This is about picking up women and since you don’t like the technique you advise volunteering at an old folks home? Wtf!? Sorry ‘father’ but what web surfing wave did you ride in on?

      • Anon

        I love you.

      • Uncle Friendly

        Father these people here will not be doing no volunteering you need better ideas than that.

      • allie

        “Father” knows his shit^^^

      • Avanti Dutta

        I hardly ever get to say this but,

        Thank you Father :)

        To anonymous guy,

        I’m that girl who can reject a guy’s one-night-stand offer politely. And I am also that girl who can make jerks realize they’re being jerks.

        No matter how many times you hear this crap that women like to be treated badly, THEY DON’T. Some women may even get attracted to shit, but only to later realize she deserves better and they get laid or settled with a guy who helps her reach that conclusion instead of being the experiment that made her realize that she indeed deserves better. So you choose which guy you want to be.

        That typical nice guy gets friendzoned why? Because they’re either faking it, or women know they can have their unique choices that has nothing to do with the stereotyped ‘niceness’ of a guy. That’s just no reason for you to be a jerk unless you don’t mind getting laid with a teenager with self-esteem issues. In that case, no matter how many vaginae you get, you’re still a loser.

    • Jesse Charger

      Negs aren’t about “bringing girls down to your level”.

      It’s to show a girl that you’re attracted to her, but can also walk away from her. That you’re taking action to talk to her, but that she needs to do the chasing. For really hot girls that get lavished with attention by “nice guys” who do nothing but kiss their ass, getting a neg is very refreshing because she realizes that the guy won’t kiss her ass just to get into her pants.

      • Random Guy

        So if you want to prove you’re not just kissing her ass, you should be an ass. Yeah, that makes sense. BTW, I have an ocean resort in Idaho you might be interested in…

      • FatherTime

        I would like to get her out or her pants and THEN kiss her ass, and lick it too. yummmmy.
        lol hahahaha

      • Rae

        Don’t see why this is a problem. If guys want to chase after entitled bitches who can’t look at other human beings as FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS then I guess that means there are more guys with brains in their heads left for the rest of us. I read some of these comments and I’m getting neck cramps from all the head-shaking. Why on earth would you want to pursue a woman who won’t even look you in the eye when you give her a friendly hello? And for god’s sake stop thinking its your problem when someone does that. When you’re an entitled asshole that isn’t someone else’s problem, it’s YOUR problem. That goes for the bitches and the neggers.

    • Really?

      Did you ever occur to you that you started getting women not because you were negging them but because the thought of having some technique backing you up gave you more confidence? Negging is a placebo effect, end of story.

    • ...

      This whole article is ridiculous and a waste of time. This “technique” appeals to the insecure male because it is a way of reestablishing dominance, a trait that is so inherent to the social construct of masculinity. It’s truly pathetic that the males reading this article, who actually take it seriously, are so obviously incapable of separating their own identities from the socially prescribed gender roles in which they are so inadequate.
      I am not responding to this article because I am afraid I will be “negged” and I’m not responding to feel some weird gratification from “latching on to a cause”. I’m responding to this article because it is blatantly sexist and misogynistic and it is horrifying that the author and a large portion of the male readers are denying this.

      • Anonymous

        I’ve spent my whole life being kind and respectful to women with absolutely no romantic interest shown by any of them except for the most absurdly insecure girls I’ve interacted with.

        It’s as much a fact that women tend to be attracted to men who abuse them as it is that men tend to be attracted to women with hourglass figures. It’s exceptionally disheartening, but if admitting this is misogyny then call me a misogynist. I’m seriously contemplating trying this with the next girl I’m interested in because honesty and politeness do not and have never worked for me.

      • Random Guy

        “…” I agree with you completely; and for what it’s worth this is one man who is not buying this ‘negging’ tripe.

        Anonymous, you’re a misogynist.

        Being kind and respectful doesn’t obligate a woman to be interested in you; and if you think it does, then you’re NOT being kind and respectful, you are being an asshole.

      • Anonymous

        Sounds to me like you are one of the women described in the article. Did you look back at what you wrote? Using the term “Males” is another way taking away a small part of a man’s masculinity. Most “males” would by far prefer to be referred to as men, not males. I don’t really take to the neg thing myself. My wife and I met and fell in love because, among other things, we were ourselves. Neither of us “took charge” or dominated the other. I could be wrong,,but I suspect you should be begged a few times to take away the edge that’s so obvious.

      • Little-Sister

        “I’ve spent my whole life being kind and respectful to women with absolutely no romantic interest shown by any of them…”

        Why does your kindness obligate any woman to be romantically interested in you?

        Look, the fact of the matter is, some people don’t like other people. Some people are not attracted to other people. It just happens. I understand why some men find me very attractive, while some men are obviously turned off by me. I don’t resent the men who aren’t interested in me any more than I revere the men who are. I don’t feel the need to use some manipulative tactic to convince those turned-off men that they’re missing out. I think this weird, old-fashioned idea that you need to manipulate women is immature and a throw-back to some by-gone era. And honestly, the only men I’ve ever known who use this kind of thing or believe in it are the same men who make friends with a woman, hoping they’ll some day get to sleep with her — and later resent her for “using” them. You set yourself up for failure, and then you resent the person who took you at face-value. Dude, seriously, your best interest is not being met with this b.s. Find something else to believe in.

      • Bigdawg

        Hate the game , not the players. I ve used this technique , met a woman , married her. A lot of nice guys use this technique to build confidence, after being a gentleman and getting shut down. Men have feelings too. We have to take a different approach , I. e usings “negs”. Cause the nice guy routine doesn’t work in todays world. Nice guys are boring and will be discarded.

      • darpinion

        Almost everything you said in this is sexist, and you blatantly generalize large groups of people into a single category.

    • Anonymous

      Humans haven’t evolved much. When it comes to male/female relationships we’re still stone age animals. Women still want to be the consort of the alpha male/tribal chieftain. The alpha male dominates those around him through violence and intimidation. This is the trait women look for especially when they in their young, child-bearing years. The idea that women like assholes is not a belief. It’s an evolutionary fact. Women are driven to seek out the most intimidating man possible. men who treat them like respect are seen as weak and subservient. The problem is the alpha male is cruel and violent to everyone. just because you slept with him don’t expect him to treat you with respect. Sorry, ladies and gents. All this debate is a mute point. Nice guys finish last isn’t a saying, it’s an evolutionary fact.

      • jdbug

        My boyfriend is a nerd, to put it plainly. And I’m attracted to nerds. Huge muscles are a turn off to me. He does not have the highest confidence and that is absolutely fine with me. And also, I’m a teenage girl. you can’t stereotype anyone and expect it to be accurate

      • Anonymous

        We have evolved enough that we are more than just our base instincts. The last man I was seriously involved with loved art, dancing, and wasn’t interested in being an Alpha male. The man before him was sweet and honest while comfortable with himself. I think men who feel the need to intimidate others are insecure and, thus, unattractive. Whereas men who are comfortable with themselves are usually the truly kind ones and those are the men I seek.

      • Sara

        My best friend found her husband’s stutter and love of all that is nerdy so endearing when she’d first met him that she turned down all of his “alpha”/”dominant” friends (and quite a few were pursuing her) so that she could seek out his company. Now they are happily married. Another friend loved how respectful her now-husband was and that’s why she sought a deep relationship with him. The same goes with yet another close friend. And I have a wedding I’m attending soon of a friend who was drawn in by her soon-to-be-husband’s kind/almost-shy demeanor. They all probably got sick of “neggers” (<– those who use negging as a way to get with women) and wanted somebody who had potential to be a loving partner and not a misogynistic man who obviously has too man self-esteem issues to 1) project confidence (which many women like, and 2) to ever treat her better than his insecurities will allow.

      • locky

        I think what we’re all missing here is that this is for club situations, not finding true love. This is when you have maybe 5 minutes to impress or disgust a girl, and in turn make or break your night. People go to night clubs to dance and find hook ups. There’s no relationship-hunting on that scene.

        Anyway. The whole “nice guy” thing is blown way out of proportion. When you like someone, you’re nice to them, hoping that they’ll like you back. That goes for guys and girls. When you want to be an accessory to someone you don’t usually go in swinging; you try to cultivate a friendship, get to know each other beFORE the risky stuff happens. And that’s where a lot of the “nice guys” feel like they get stuck. A lot of times the feeling is “if I asserted myself the tiniest bit more she could probably be mine” but a lot of guys feel uncomfortable imposing themselves. And that’s not to say over the woman, it’s to say with the woman. They’re not depositing “sex tokens,” they’re trying to cozy up to a lady they like in order to be with them.

        And I’m sorry but tactics are a lot of what relationships are (that is, until you get to the really good ones). Mind-games are part of human intimacy. We want what we can’t have, we don’t want what we’re too comfortable with. It’s how it works. We might starve our partners of sex for a few weeks so they’ll want us more, we won’t text back purposefully to play coy. We want to make sure people stay interested in us, as we all know how flighty attraction is.

        I have TONS of lady friends who have systematic ways to get guys. And most of them are just rote. Mainly because a lot of the girls I know are at least decently attractive, and guys will wag their tails at anything with breasts and an attention span devoted to them. All they have to do is 1 2 3 and they’re bringing home a boy. Guys have it a bit harder since it’s more based on personality, speech, whatever. You have to show that you’re worth it verbally and through pheromones. Even if after you “neg” a girl you end up being a complete sweetie, you have to throw in the hook in order to reel in the fish.

        And seriously, we haven’t evolved all that much. We’ve just grown emotions that make our primal compass hazy. That’s it. It’s still very much there, just buried under a few layers of “self-consciousness”.

      • Mister Magic

        Want to hear a good joke?
        Why do nice guys finish last ?
        Because assholes suffer from premature ejaculation!!!
        Ahahahahaha!!!

      • Anonymous

        You mean moot. Look it up. Regardless, you’re completely wrong. Nice guys get laid. I get laid. Assholes don’t want a woman. They just enjoy being assholes, and that’s cool if that’s your thing. Just don’t delude yourself into thinking you’re a better person than you are.

      • Anonymous

        Sounds like you’re a loser who has had one too many failed attempts so instead of trying to figure out what it is about YOU that sends them running you want to punish them.

      • Ronald Patrick Thompson

        Nice guys finish last is an evolutionary fact? I would have to disagree. I am a nice guy, I treat women with respect and I get laid lots. I also happen to be really ridiculously good looking, intelligent and funny. But none of those things have anything to do with why I get laid (okay maybe a little bit). The only thing that matters is are you being genuine? You see, I enjoy meeting people with no expectations. When I go out I talk to as many guys and ugly chicks as I do pretty women. So when I talk to pretty women my genuine nature of only wanting to talk to talk reads through. And wouldn’t you know it, a guy that doesn’t want something from a woman is refreshing to them. Also, so is being nice without an ulterior motive. Some girls I take home, some I dont. Just like some guys who neg take some girls home some they dont. Neither will “work” every time, but if you are successful in trying to let go of some kind of technique to get laid and just be genuine you will get laid a lot more often. But yes, some women do want the overly dominant alpha male that mistreats them so to those, neg away. But mostly, being an alpha male is about confidence, and having the confidence to not be an asshole, but rather charming, witty and respectful without being a kiss-ass is the most powerful approach of them all.

      • Anonymous

        You’re deluded. Only some women allow themselves to be treated this way, definitely not all. I chose my husband based off his intelligence, a distinct kinship, and ability to protect me. Yes, he’s bigger, stronger, and smarter than most other men I know, with a strong white knight streak that I found very attractive. However, when he started being tremendously disrespectful to me two years ago (cheating, wanting threesomes, generally thinking only with his dick), I left his ass and moved to a new state so he could think about his priorities. It was a struggle as I was totally financially dependent on him. It sucked for a long while. Yet, if another human being doesn’t treat me with the respect I DESERVE, being 1/2 of a partnership as legally and emotionally binding as a marriage? Fuck that, I can live my life just fine without being attached to jerks.

    • A girl

      Hi there,

      I don’t know why I know about all of this stuff, but I think it’s because I get approached a lot and it seemed to me a lot of guys were doing the same thing. So I just looked it up online.

      I’ll tell you that right now I’ll automatically discount any guy that uses a neg on me straight off the bat- and a lot of them do. You can recognize it right away and I think it shows insecurity (they have to bring me down to “their” level) and it smells of misogyny , although I don’t think every guy who uses negs are misogynists … some of them probably just really want girls to like them.

      Right now my heart is being won by a guy who tells me how beautiful and smart I am several times a day. It shows me he is confident enough that he doesn’t need to use these forums, and it shows me what a good heart he has. I want to be with someone who encourages me to be better and stronger, not someone who tears me down.

      I’m sure this works on “some” girls and that’s fine if you just want to get laid. But tearing a girl’s self esteem down just to get laid is kind of misogynistic.

      • Anonymous

        You’re clever but full of shit. Negged.

      • Anonymous

        It’s not just misogynistic. It’s hateful. And you’re 100% about it being transparent and pathetic. Be an interesting person and not a slob. It works better.

      • anon

        Oh first anon, please, you don’t need to neg, you’re already asshole enough.

      • Ronald Patrick Thompson

        Yes, it is great to hear how beautiful one is, But I would be careful of that too. Dont get me wrong, there is nothing with telling your companion they are beautiful, but if that is the way to your heart then it speaks to both of your insecurities. For him it’s something like “Gee, I hope she likes hearing how beautiful I think she is so I don’t lose her.” And for you it’s “I really like hearing how beautiful I am so I’ll keep him around.” Telling someone they are beautiful does not take any special effort. I would hope two people fall in love because of the actions they take in the world to show they are worthy of your love, not the easy words they speak to lull you into a false sense of it.

      • FatherTime

        You must really be insecure with your looks if you need to be being constantly told how beautiful you are (you probably aren’t). It is really sad if repeating the same lie draws you to this chump. that is your daddy’s job to tell you how beautiful, smart and gifted you are. (you probably aren’t those either) but daddy’s are supposed to do that to little girls to boost their already fragile ego.
        Get a grip on reality and realize you are not really smart enough to do anything in life you want to. It is extremely rare that a person can. You can not be our next President or an astronaut so deal with it and just learn to seductively say “would you like fries with that”. mmmmkay..

    • aiyana

      I’m sorry but what is all this bullshit about being nice to the nice guy I know lots of nice guys every woman is nice to them how about you bitchy bullying got issues talking to women bullshit!! guys be nice to the nice girl so far it sounds like you have to insult the women.
      Aren’t you just becoming the person who you once despised!!

    • Girl

      I’ve been “negged” many a time and I can tell you I have had no long term self esteem problems from it. I either tell the guy to go eff himself or it starts some playful banter; probably depending a lot on my level of intoxication. I didn’t realize that this was an actual technique – thank you internet.

      That being said, I am blatantly obnoxious and cocky at bars, if I am being honest, and I blame no guy for trying to take me down a notch.

      Still, it is a total asshole move. And chances are most girls are not going to feel ok about this. Chance are you just look like a dick bag. But hey, you’re at a bar give it a shot. If you feel guilty about being a jerk try to sleep easy knowing there is a chance she was too drunk to remember and hate herself for having a crooked lateral incisor (yes someones said this too me)

      Ps. No amount of type laughter can express how hard I’d laugh at a guy for telling me I should have worn tan boots.

    • Anonymous

      Sorry you have problems talking to women. Maybe pick up the nice girl who is in your league, and not someone out of your league, instead of being an ass who only talks to women just “to bring them down to his level”. Nice guy, my ass.

    • Mandy

      If they’re so stuck up, then why bother with them anyway?
      Here’s the problem with being too nice: the guy will keep on trying to pick you up. But you’re not interested, you were just being nice. If the woman tells you this, then she get labelled as having “led you on” or “flaked.”
      I usually smile and say hello, then continue talking to my friends. I try to make my wedding ring as prominent as possible, although most guys see that as a “challenge” rather than a deterrent.

    • Just Sayin'

      A nice guy doesn’t needs to insult a woman to get her attention.





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