Print 
PDF
You can also lower a girl’s social value in relation to yours with quick lines by negging women.
Here are some examples of negging women:
For a girl with a belly shirt: “Did your shirt shrink in the laundry?”
“Your roots are showing.”
“Your nose is a little red. You’re like an Eskimo. Cool.”
“You know, you look just like my little sister. Weird.”
Effect of a neg on a hot girl illustrated
“You know, I like that outfit you’ve got on… but I don’t know… your shoes don’t really match. You should have gone with tan boots…”
To her guy friends, “So what’s special about this one.”
If she’s talking tell her friends, “So do you guys ever get a word in edge wise?”
“Hey… you look like that cartoon character… yeah that’s right, Rainbow Brite remember her?”
“I like your eyes. Hey… are you wearing colored contacts??? (before she can answer) Oh my god, no way, you are…”
“You know, your body language is all closed off. It makes you look like one of those newborns I saw on the discovery channel when they came out of the womb – all curled up.”
“Hey, you’re a goof.”
By negging women, you’ve indicated to her that you’re not interested in her over anyone else in the group. This is a new thing for her. She’ll feel the bitter sting of being just like everyone else. Her looks no longer give her all the power – because you’re not responding to her looks.
Because you’re demonstrating social value to the group at the same time she’s wondering, “Why isn’t this guy attracted to me? Why isn’t this guy paying attention to me? Who is this guy? How am I going to win this guy’s attention?”
Everyone wants to be liked. Everyone wants approval. No one wants to be ignored. The same holds true for beautiful women – even more so. Their whole reality is based on having power and having acceptance and adoration through their good looks. Take that away and their whole reality crumbles and they’ll do anything to get it back.
Negging women is ideal for really hot girls – 8s, 9s, and 10s. For an average girl (6s, 7s), you don’t want to use value zingers. All you need to do is demonstrate social value – you don’t need to lower hers. Hers wasn’t that high to begin with.
Negging women is unnecessary and inappropriate to use on girls who are already being friendly or giving you green lights. Don’t throw one out of the blue for no reason at a girl who is already responding well.
But if she’s super hot and you’ve just met her, that’s a different story. Use a neg or two on her.
Now, it’s critical to use negs right. Remember, you’re not out to damage the girl’s self confidence or put her down. You’re not out to mess up her self-esteem. Some guys in particular cross the line and start throwing soft insults and treating women like second-class human beings when they don’t deserve it.
The point is to make yourself stand out as socially valuable male and a challenge, not to make her feel bad. But used correctly, negging women is a powerful tool in your arsenal.
Update From The Author
I noticed that my post on negging “Negging Women – 10 Awesome Negs That Work” has drawn a lot of negative comments from women.
I understand the blowback. I understand where some of you girls are coming from. You see negging as a form of bullying or insults.
And most women are pretty sensitive to the idea of it, based on being bullied in real life.
Most women, particularly in high school, were teased, gossiped about, or bullied in some fashion – and usually from other women. Pretty girls especially face negativity from their female friends, as pretty girls tend to hang in “pretty social circles” where there’s a lot of superficial cattiness, backstabbing, and competition.
Or even if you’ve never been bullied or teased yourself, you’ve seen the devastating effect it had on your classmates. So naturally, you feel sympathy.
But anger at ‘negging’ is misplaced.
First, we are talking about a night club environment. There’s lots of REJECTION involved, inherent to the environment.
And most of the rejection is aimed at the GUYS.
Haven’t either you or one of your friends ever ignore a guy? Like, not even acknowledge his presence when he tried to talk to you.
It’s often pretty CRUSHING to the guy’s self-esteem that he isn’t given 10 seconds to acknowledge he’s another human being to talk to and say “hello”. Ignoring a guy completely is much crueler than any neg a guy would dish. (Like, “Hey girl! You have some lint in your hair… look at that.”)
Then again, it’s a night club. If a guy’s ego is so fragile, he shouldn’t go.
So please girls, if a guy told you that you had lint in your hair and that would “cut you down” or would “crush you”, and your ego is THAT fragile, then don’t go to night clubs!! After all, the guys have to deal with MUCH WORSE from you girls!
In addition, Negs are for those glamour girls that have been spoiled all their lives by Daddy and have little sense of reality (like Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton for example). These are the types of girls that enjoy shooting “nice guys” down. It’s THAT kind of girl that negs are designed to attract.
So if you’re a normal-looking girl with a normal attitude, you probably will NEVER BE NEGGED in your life. So for crying-out-loud, don’t worry about it.
Further consider that 99.9% of guys are SO damn nervous in clubs and bars that they can’t even approach a girl without wetting their briefs… let alone finding the balls to neg a pretty girl.
So don’t worry, it’s statistically unlikely to ever happen to you, even if you DO look like a runway model. Most guys will never approach you, or they’ll just try to kiss your ass to get into your pants. And that’s SO much better than those bad boys, right?
But since those guys are NOT a challenge in the slightest, they’re not attractive to you. That’s why you blow them off.
That’s what a neg does – creates a challenge to the female. That’s what attractive guys do. And ANY guy you’ve ever fallen for, on some level, you had to chase HIM. Every single guy you ever had a crush on made YOU chase HIM.
I know it’s simple to latch onto a cause, leave a comment, and feel like you’re serving justice in some small way by taking a stand against the 1 in 10,000 guys that have the balls to neg a girl like, “Hey girl! It’s funny how your nose wiggles when you talk!” But really, it’s an empty cause!
P.S. If you still disagree with this assessment, please leave a comment, I welcome all opinions!
~ Jesse
P.S. Want An Easy, Effective Formula To Get A Nice Girlfriend?
My instant girlfriend formula works by hijacking a little known 'glitch' in the female brain... to learn more click THIS link here.
I’ve had problems talking to women my entire life, before I discovered this technique by chance. I’m actually sad to say it, but it does work most of the time. It’s hard for me to feel sorry for using the technique since 9 out of 10 times in the past when I’ve approached women in a polite and friendly way to say hello and introduce myself, it’s seems there immediate response is to insult me. All this technique does is bring them down to your level before they stamp you into the ground. If your a woman and you’ve been seduced in this way by guys, been used and left to call a cab then maybe next time you should be nice to the nice guy.
So you like to talk to women who are jerks, and you have no trouble being a jerk yourself. Whichever one came first, get out of that cycle.
For pretty teenagers in particular, you should realize that their self-esteem is just as fragile as any other teenager and they get victimized by jerks regularly. Some get to believe most men are jerks. When you try to “bring them down to your level” you are simply projecting onto them the responsibility for the rejection you have felt before, and acting like a bully by trying to shame them in front of their friends. They will stand up to you in person, but they will be crying at home and feeling worthless. No one deserves that.
Don’t be a jerk. Do something positive instead. Volunteer at an old age home or Habitat for Humanity or something and invite nice people to volunteer as well. Invite them to come up to your level instead of trying to bring people down to yours by hurting them.
I agree with you ‘Father’.
Negs aren’t about “bringing girls down to your level”.
It’s to show a girl that you’re attracted to her, but can also walk away from her. That you’re taking action to talk to her, but that she needs to do the chasing. For really hot girls that get lavished with attention by “nice guys” who do nothing but kiss their ass, getting a neg is very refreshing because she realizes that the guy won’t kiss her ass just to get into her pants.
So if you want to prove you’re not just kissing her ass, you should be an ass. Yeah, that makes sense. BTW, I have an ocean resort in Idaho you might be interested in…
Did you ever occur to you that you started getting women not because you were negging them but because the thought of having some technique backing you up gave you more confidence? Negging is a placebo effect, end of story.
This whole article is ridiculous and a waste of time. This “technique” appeals to the insecure male because it is a way of reestablishing dominance, a trait that is so inherent to the social construct of masculinity. It’s truly pathetic that the males reading this article, who actually take it seriously, are so obviously incapable of separating their own identities from the socially prescribed gender roles in which they are so inadequate.
I am not responding to this article because I am afraid I will be “negged” and I’m not responding to feel some weird gratification from “latching on to a cause”. I’m responding to this article because it is blatantly sexist and misogynistic and it is horrifying that the author and a large portion of the male readers are denying this.
I’ve spent my whole life being kind and respectful to women with absolutely no romantic interest shown by any of them except for the most absurdly insecure girls I’ve interacted with.
It’s as much a fact that women tend to be attracted to men who abuse them as it is that men tend to be attracted to women with hourglass figures. It’s exceptionally disheartening, but if admitting this is misogyny then call me a misogynist. I’m seriously contemplating trying this with the next girl I’m interested in because honesty and politeness do not and have never worked for me.
“…” I agree with you completely; and for what it’s worth this is one man who is not buying this ‘negging’ tripe.
Anonymous, you’re a misogynist.
Being kind and respectful doesn’t obligate a woman to be interested in you; and if you think it does, then you’re NOT being kind and respectful, you are being an asshole.
Oh lord. So you try to find something about a woman that can be used to diminish her or in some way doubt her self-worth?
…
You’re the type of guy who has chopped up bits of women stuffed in the truck of his car, aren’t you?
Misogyny is FUCKING STUPID AND EVIL. It’s not “playful”. It’s not “clever”. And if you don’t think this shit is misogynistic, fer chrissakes, please take yourself out of the gene pool.
Thank goodness my fiance builds me up instead of tearing me down…or I wouldn’t be marrying him.
A neg is used once on a girl at the beginning on an interaction. That’s it. It’s not used in relationships.
A guy would only “use negs” on *specific* girls (hot girls that are used to having their asses kissed) at a nightclub when they FIRST MEET and would NOT be negging YOU in a marriage relationship.
And study after study shows you are going cheat on him. You are going end up being bored with him and want tension and drama. And that dominant alpha is going to be the one you do it with. What you say and what you do are too different things. You can throw the M bomb out all you want. But PUA did not grow from a couple of guys in a chat room to a billion dollar business because it doesn’t work. You have this part of your little hamster that is telling you one thing, but back in your hindbrain you want the Dark Triad personality that you know will protect you and find a way to support you. Negging appeals to hindbrain part. It shows the guy will not allow you to dominate him like you do your little beta chump boyfriend that you have right now. So if you’re gonna get all huffy and walk away, big deal. So what. Next. Negging works as part of total frame of the man. You believe yourself to be better than that woman; you are the prize; she is lucky to have you. And if you are strong enough and resolute enough in your frame that others will accept it. If you look like a little throwing sour grapes then that is what you are. But you are confident in yourself, believe in yourself, and show any woman that she will not dominate you, then you will get much further in the long run. Better that a woman walks away from you than it is that you grovel like a chump in front of her, placating her ego like every other schmuck.
Neg her.
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth while reading that.
So if she likes to be praised rather than mocked “Oh what a huge ego. She will cheat on him because he’s boring. She just wants to dominate.”
But when the OH SO INCREDIBLE MAN is a dominating asshole it’s perfectly acceptable? How the hell is a guy who says this sort of bullshit going to protect her? Who would lower her standards so much that she wants to be protected by someone who BELITTLES HER AND WANTS TO DOMINATE HER? That’s not protection, genius.
And that lady’s and gentlemen is what I call sweet negging, brought to you by “anonymous” !! Really nice comment and sweet way to neg her!!
This whole article is ridiculous and a waste of time. This “technique” appeals to the insecure male because it is a way of reestablishing dominance, a trait that is so inherent to the social construct of masculinity. It’s truly pathetic that the males reading this article, who actually take it seriously, are so obviously incapable of separating their own identities from the socially prescribed gender roles in which they are so inadequate.
I am not responding to this article because I am afraid I will be “negged” and I’m not responding to feel some weird gratification from “latching on to a cause”. I’m responding to this article because it is blatantly sexist and misogynistic and it is horrifying that the author and a large portion of the male readers are denying this.
“Pretty girls don’t like assholes.”
Laughed at that one. Women love assholes, the nice guys are for later, after they’ve slept with all the badboys, and need someone to take care of their mistakes.
haha! excellent comment. i couldnt agree more. the old saying “nice guys finish last” comes to mind here. and it’s true. women can claim to like nice guys all they want but the truth, ladies, is that you’d rather hook up with the entire varsity football team than the quiet nerdy kid in the batman tshirt (i.e. yours truly back in high school). look, i dont condone putting women down or treating them like shit or anything like that, but at the same time you cant be TOO nice. some girls tend to mistake that kindness for weakness or vulnerability. be a gentleman. treat her with respect and adoration. but a little playful jab directed at her appearance or her clothes or anything superficial like that can go a long way. you dont want her to feel insulted or devalued. you want her to take it lightly and laugh at herself. if you can get a girl to laugh at herself with a silly one-liner like “your nose is red. you look like an eskimo.” then youre fuckin golden.
you know why girls didn’t want to hook up with you? Because you’re not really a nice guy. What you are is one of those guys who pretends to be nice and then turn into an asshole when women are not all over you.
Someday you’re going to “neg” a girl and she’s going to give you an answer that’s so good that will make you feel terrible about yourself. There’s no “maybe” here, it IS going to happen.
A) Using phrases like “Nice guys finish last” = real turn off. Also agreeing with the guy above doesn’t help your case. If those girls he’s after are “sleeping with every asshole”, I think they might have missed one.
B) Yes teasing can bring out a giggle or two BETWEEN FRIENDS but you do realize most girls can get really self conscious about their looks and how people feel about what they wear?
C) Expecting something from people from square one doesn’t make you all that nice.
“Nice” and nerdy are not synonymous. This seems to be a common mistake. Nerd vs. Jock has nothing to do with being nice! Don’t kid yourself. It’s about how a man carries himself.
Women are attracted to confidence. Assholes exude (often false) confidence, which is where the whole ‘women like assholes’ belief comes from. But you can be genuine and caring and confident and that is the most effective. Why else would so many girls be head over heels for Ryan Gossling, the poster boy of “Hey girl” quips involving respect?
It seems to me that the POINT of negging is to exude that confidence in a playful way that is not enough to actually hurt anyone’s self esteem. However, it also seems that this is taken too far by many who try the technique.
Ahmed, see all the stuff you just said? It makes you NOT a nice person, it makes you a bitter ‘Nice Guy’.
Why you assume the football players are assholes and you’re nice? Maybe they are nice AND fit, and maybe you are quiet AND a douche.
Or maybe you were just punching above your weight the whole times, and there was a little chubby girl in a batman teeshirt that would have gone to town on you, but you never noticed her cos you were too busy staring at the superhot popular footballer’s girlfriends.
Lol most superficial statement made on this topic so far, you basically telling someone theyre not good looking enough to get the girl they really want, they should “lower their standards” don know if ur a guy or a girl but you are the reason this technique was made. To level the playing fields and make superficial girls realize there’s more to a man than just muscles and testosterone. Human beings always revert back to their primal instincts eg. Men look for “hot” women because they are fit and have baby making genes. Women look for healthy fit men who are big built because the can protect them and produce good genetics for future generations. This type of primal instinct has not been necessary since the times of cave men so why must guys now days “settle for second best”
No, that made a lot of sense. Anon below, you are basically asking girls to lower their standards and the way you want them to view you is as a guy who says “Hey… you look like that cartoon character… yeah that’s right, Rainbow Brite remember her?” If some guy in a Batman T-shirt said that to me, I’d be gone so fast he wouldn’t have time to blink.
Also, great stereotype that ‘hot girls’ ignore the ‘guy in the Batman shirt’. What time are you from?
This is 2013.
I would like to add that you are all talking about women as if each and every one of them have this need to be with assholes, but really it is guys like you that get cheated on.
Not to mention just as many guys cheat on their girls, so I’m not sure why you bring up the fact that SOME women cheat on their husbands? Maybe they were being abused, maybe they were someone like you, maybe they were even more of an inconsiderate asshole.
Another point:
You said “To level the playing fields and make superficial girls realize there’s more to a man than just muscles and testosterone”
But then you also said ‘you basically telling someone theyre not good looking enough to get the girl they really want, they should “lower their standards”’. Then followed with “there’s more to a man than just muscles and testosterone”
Well, let me tell you. There is more to girls than just their looks, so just because the other user suggested you were too busy looking at hot girls and maybe you missed the chubby girl who had the same interests doesn’t mean that’s “lowering your standards”. There is more to girls than just their looks, just as there is more to guys than just their muscles.
Get over yourself, you’re like a broken record on repeat.
This is a complex topic!! First of all, I noticed the people that said “pretty girls don’t like assholes” and “this is a good indication of low self esteem” and “this will never work” were from women. I would say that hot women don’t WANT to want assholes, but how many times does that end up being the case? The truth: if you go to a given club and be polite to girls, you will PROBABLY fail. For example, I went to a club last year and kept track of my success the whole night. My pickup line was “hey, how’s it going?” 6 out of 9 girls that night didn’t even make eye contact with me. Then again, there are other places in which very simple, nice guy lines will work. I don’t really want to have success with a club girl anyway because they are superficial, in most cases.
With regard to negging, I would say that some lines shouldn’t be said, for example, the nose line. I use techniques like this, but I ALWAYS make sure I make fun of something she has control over, such as something funny she said. Ex: “Are you serious? I thought people stopped saying that in the 90′s!” I have found that it lightens the mood and it’s just a joke. The truth is, good looking women constantly have guys all over them, some of which are very creepy, and the worst thing you can do is sound like all of the other guys when you approach her. I’m not sure how many guys say this stuff, but when a hot girl can tell you’re not just idolizing her for her looks or etc, she is way more likely to respond. In this case, this is treating her like a human!!!!!!! When you do the opposite and treat her like she is worth more than you just because of her looks, you are doomed to fail. And ladies, I would be willing to bet that you don’t like it when a guy treats you like a goddess just because of your body or looks. People want to be liked for the things they have control over!!
But above all else, be interesting, funny, genuine, and try to have an intelligent conversation with her.
Thanks for the thoughtful comments sky
Nice comment!
Clubs are the worst place to find girls. Seriously. Plus half the girls there are just after a good time with their friends, and don’t want to be picked up by strangers. So there’s that..
Best comment.
I find this very dishonest, and morally questionable.
The bad part is, it works. I know female friends that have fell for it. I have tried it once (regrettably) on someone that is considered me just a friend until I did the back-handed compliments a few times. (A much longer story, but that is the basics.)
The women here, ask yourselves, why does this make you so mad? A sliver of truth perhaps? If I said a great way to pick up women was to walk in on the while they are going to the bathroom and read them poetry, you would most likely blow it off as stupid, because it would never work. But here it seems to have struck a nerve.
It does work, and it is wrong to do.
Dude, if you had said that to pick up women is to read them poetry, I don’t even think there would be a single women present on this page. I mean… Duh ? Isn’t it obvious why the girls are whining so hard down here ? Damn Right it works ? =.= They’re just mad that it works that is why they try to convince (not to mention they tried it so hard) everyone that it isn’t working, only to send the opposite signal because if really it isn’t working, why are they still complaining ? They wouldnt even need to make their presence felt if it really isnt working right ? Poor girls… pity them so badly…
Women are responding because it’s hurtful.
If this page said to pick up girls by pinching them, women would respond.
We all know pinching women won’t work, but we’d still be angry because it promotes hurting women!
Maybe the article would mention to pinch very lightly so it doesn’t hurt very badly. That’s no excuse because for all the guys pinching “lightly” there would be guys who didn’t.
Also, you don’t know how hard will hurt a girl. Maybe you think you pinch lightly, but she has a bruise there. That hurts. Maybe you think you pinch lightly but you misjudge your strength. That hurts too.
It’s the same with negging. You think it’s funny or not hurtful, but you might strike a nerve or insult too hard.
Also, next time you try to explain women’s motives, become one and experience the danger, hurt, and rejection that we go through everyday.
“why does this make you so mad?”
For the same reason you specified; the inherent dishonesty (and manipulativeness) of it coupled with the enthusiasm both to espouse it as a technique and willingness to practice it (without thought).
I get this is only meant for “hot” girls, an “8″ or above (shallow, by the way) but I’d name a couple of problems with this and how it’s been presented here:
a) subjectivity. you might think she’s hot, but that she’s lavished with attention and won’t give you the time of day otherwise is YOUR preconception and perception of her. it’s not necessarily related to reality..
b) you don’t know her. even if you judge her by a panel of your peers to be a 10, and watch as people vie for her attention, you do not know that she’s not insecure inside, or to what extent. In fact, this whole thing is based around the assumption that you can manipulate her insecurities…doesn’t that seem a bit, well, nasty?
c) that she “deserves” it because otherwise she wouldn’t look at you, or would laugh at you. Because that’s happened to you before. Well, your previous experiences shouldn’t be her fault or her problem. That said, she’s perfectly entitled NOT to be interested in you – wouldn’t it be better to find somebody who IS interested in you rather than trick her into it by lowering her self-worth?
It’s happened to me before, and I was mostly just bewildered. I was eating out and having these small crumble-cake things. A guy sides over to me, sees what I’m putting on my plate, and comments I wouldn’t have too many of those, there’s probably lots of calories in them. I’m like, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? And he’s like, oh, well not you, you look amazing right now, especially compared to most of the people in here.
I got back to the table and shared with the group, and was told, he was negging you. He was trying to lower your self-esteem then give you a compliment to bolster it. I was like…oh. but my reaction was just, why is some strange man suddenly talking to me?
It’s kind of interesting, after that I read ‘The Game’ and was initially annoyed at this kind of stuff. But by the end of the book, it was clear it wasn’t really about the ‘techniques’, just someone’s journey from being somewhat douchey to semi-decent.
When you start seeing women as other “people” rather than objects to score and brag to your friends about, your journey will be complete.
See, the OP won’t rate this as the best comment even though it is.
PS Do you want the ultimate “neg”? Like any other neg, it starts with a compliment and ends on an insult. It is much more effective on men than on woman.
“I think you are a great/awesome person, but let’s just be friends.”
The guy will be after you for at least six months.
Boss.
I’ve also heard it as “You’re an amazing guy, You’ll make a girl really happy one day”
I think this might be worse IMHO, if not because the tack on of “one day”
I bow to the master though.
good ones
…Oh my god. xD That’s actually hilarious, kudos on a fantastic one-liner.
I do want to point out that negging and friendzoning are kind of opposites — negging is a veiled jab meant to attract a girl, and friendzoning is meant to be an easy letdown to deter a guy.
Jesse, sounds like you pissed off a bunch of chubby chicks that haven’t a clue about what it takes to attract men. LOL I guarantee that all of these girls have been teased, but NONE of them have been “negged” because the guy was attracted to them (two completely different things) and they’re completely confusing the too.
Keep speaking the truth Jesse.
Rob, you hit the nail on the head.
Negging by Proxy, #27:
“Can you break a twenty? I’d ask your friend, but she looks like she spent it all on accessories / botox / clothes / hair / jewelry / lipo / makeup / manicures / shoes / silicone / whatever.”
Negging by Proxy, #17:
“Sure, she’s cute … but you have a natural beauty that I like.”
(Emphasize the word “natural” … she will want to know what you mean. Be prepared to explain that you think women who obviously put too much effort into their appearance may not put as much effort into their personalities … or their relationships …)
Rational responses to your “negs” and what she’s thinking….
For a girl with a belly shirt: “Did your shirt shrink in the laundry?” – No. (Get away from this idiot)
“Your roots are showing.” – Fuck off! (What an asshole)
“Your nose is a little red. You’re like an Eskimo. Cool.” – Err thanks? (Wow racist much?? Also reapply make up and stay away from the racist)
“You know, you look just like my little sister. Weird.” – Really, so you’re into incest then? As you seem to be checking me out. (Run the fuck away! Also maybe call the cops about possible incestuous relationship with his sister… Or just warn his sister he thinks she’s hot.) *Side note – if she responds to this comment with anything other than disgust, run away from her… Nobody should be okay with incest*
“You know, I like that outfit you’ve got on… but I don’t know… your shoes don’t really match. You should have gone with tan boots…” – *Blank stare* (He’s gay)
If she’s talking tell her friends, “So do you guys ever get a word in edge wise?” – No they usually wait until they can be a complete prick and try to make someone look insignificant, but then you chimed in with your comment and stole their thunder… (What an asshole)
“Hey… you look like that cartoon character… yeah that’s right, Rainbow Brite remember her?” – No sorry, I’m too young. There are some people more your own age here though, why don’t you try talking to them. (Rainbow Bright was awesome!)
“I like your eyes. Hey… are you wearing colored contacts??? (before she can answer) Oh my god, no way, you are…” – Nope, wanna see me touch my eyeball to prove it? (Why is this guy still talking to me)
“You know, your body language is all closed off. It makes you look like one of those newborns I saw on the discovery channel when they came out of the womb – all curled up.” – Thanks for the tip Dr. (Douchebag)
“Hey, you’re a goof.” – Right back at you. (Dick)
I’m fairly certain these would never work.
If you would really respond that way to a person asking you if you have colored contacts then you have some big issue’s and I would recommend anger management ASAP!!!!!!!!!
If you had a sexy tummy(and I know you don’t),me asking you if your shirt shrunk in the laundry you would be able to lol and show some IoI but your tummy is nasty(might not be so bad if your personality was nice but fat girl’s with bad personalities,that suck’s).
“Hey, you’re a goof.” – “right back at you. (Dick)” Hey,calm it down lady,I’m not your ex boyfriend that made you feel fat,I”m just a guy havin a good time here.
“You know, your body language is all closed off. It makes you look like one of those newborns I saw on the discovery channel when they came out of the womb – all curled up.” – “Thanks for the tip Dr. (Douchebag)” Hey look at that,you got one right.This is not a neg but more of an insult so ya,Jesse Charger is a dick.Yaaaa(No but really,if you can neg a girl with this and still fuck her somehow your an animal).
“Hey… you look like that cartoon character… yeah that’s right, Rainbow Brite remember her?” ” No sorry, I’m too young. There are some people more your own age here though, why don’t you try talking to them”. Trying to make a guy look like he likes to fuck kid’s because he hit’s on a women in a bar.good job!
If she’s talking tell her friends, “So do you guys ever get a word in edge wise?” – “No they usually wait until they can be a complete prick and try to make someone look insignificant, but then you chimed in with your comment and stole their thunder… (What an asshole)” That shit is funny and if a girl almost as fat as you said that shit to me she would be getting the Dancock that night(maybe not,last time I had a big chick it freaked me out and I had to tell her some bullshit about respecting her to much).
“Your nose is a little red. You’re like an Eskimo. Cool.” – “Err thanks? (Wow racist much?? Also reapply make up and stay away from the racist)” Really?Racist?Because of eskimo………..I have nothing to say to this.wtf?
“You know, I like that outfit you’ve got on… but I don’t know… your shoes don’t really match. You should have gone with tan boots…” – “*Blank stare* (He’s gay)” Is it gay that I tan,pluck my eyebrow’s,do yoga and like to keep up on the latest fashion trend’s?No,it mean’s I’m not a caveman and I like to fuck hot women,so shut your mouth already cavewomen(that’s your new name)!
“Your roots are showing.” – Fuck off! (What an asshole) I can’t defend this one.Sorry.
Dan very good points, thanks for the write-up
I think I would be weirded out if someone came up to me, asked a question and then interrupted me with “Oh my god, no way you are!” I totally agree with Rebecca. But hey, if you have nothing more to say than insults about someone’s physical appearance (that you have never seen) when they don’t agree with your shallow pick up techniques. I’m not ugly or overweight (but you can tell yourself I am if that makes you feel better), I’ve been negged… and frankly it’s a turn off.
Keep going Jesse. You da’ man. Love ya, buddy.
Thanks for the man love 8)
Now,I will admit that these neg’s kinda suck but that’s not the issue here.The issue is negging in general.The confused fat girl’s and man hating lesbians will most likely not be able to get past they’re pride considering pride is the number one cause of stupidity but I’ll try anyways.
If your not a total bitch and you actually have a personality and some sort of intelligence,a well timed neg will make you laugh your ass of just as it should and if your really intelligent you will come back with a neg of your own.So,just encase you missed it,neg’s work on attractive,intelligent,personable,LOVABLE women.
One last note….A women of true value and stature will still except your neg and any other tactic’s you may use to get her even if she has read and studied every book on seduction.The reason for this being as she will also know this is a game and be delighted to play along and test your worth(and if she know’s that much,trust me,you will be toyed with).
Great points Dan, thanks
An intelligent woman would not be drawn in by a neg.
A mindless woman who only lives to impress men may be reeled in, but if you are looking for a woman who is smart then you are doing it wrong. It isn’t funny, it’s pretty weird and some of them are hurtful.
Even if a woman has a high self esteem and is beautiful, a neg can still be irritating and usually drives them off. Everyone is different, so if this works for you on whatever crazy women you are hitting on then by all means continue- but whoever you catch with a “neg” won’t last long.
I’d suggest actual jokes, rather than negs, like making fun of some other guy who was being too handsy with her or just be funny. Anyone who makes a woman laugh will be able to keep their attention, but making a woman feel uncomfortable with a “neg” will only drive them away.
Jesse Charger ,very true.We should teach other guy’s neg’s so they can leave more for us.LMAO!Neg’s are the most over used and misunderstood form of pickup.I’m a choad(fucked up name for guy’s new to PUA) and fid myself taking neg’s to far even to my friend’s and require social calibration.The one thing I know and am pleased with is the fact that no one will understand a neg unless they try hard enough and that will result in more women for the men that took the time to understand it.A neg I actually have been using allot is calling girl’s dork and brat.It work’s well at first but I’m finding they get annoyed by it along with a few other light neg’s I’ve been using.I kind of have to chill a bit but that’s not the point.The point is,treat a girl like a good friend or annoying little sister in a way(newbee neg about little sister above),not someone who has what you want.Guy’s are so scared to make a simple joke around a girl because they are so scared that she won’t be impressed unless we kiss her ass that that’s what we do and they sense this.Don’t forget boy’s,this PUA shit is to find a real women and stop dating bitches that walk on you.That’s why bitches hate it.They know that the nice guy’s that want love and trust figured out how to get it and they are freaken the fuck out.KEEP FUCKING STUDYING,IT WORK’S.Even now,I’m caring less about the hater’s that don’t matter on this shit and directing this shit to those who matter compared to my last letter.These people that talk shit to us are irrelevant,I just want to address and help the good guy’s here dedicated to bettering themselves so they can be the men they’re perfect ,amazing ,sweet,loving perfect 10 future women deserves.The nice guy’s will finish first.Best thing is,on your way to being who you want ,you will have sex with lot’s of 8′s and 9′s.Enjoy,I know I will……..hear we go!
great points about negs Dan, thanks
I don’t get the strong opposition. From what I understand about PUAs is that they simply use this part of the guide to get a girls attention. Then they move on to the next step. What’s not worth admitting? It’s undeniable.. this WILL get a hot girl to notice you.
The only external aspect this article suggests is: because this girl is so often well-treated, she will take her time WITH YOU to convince you that she deserves that treatment to a universal degree.
I back Charger on this one. Either way, he took his time to write this article and it is here for our benefit. If you disagree, then don’t use it, but don’t try to forcefully extend your way of thinking to his fans in ways that go beyond constructive criticism. You people are petty and unnecessarily spiteful.
Hehe it’s kinda sad that this works, but it does.
I always wondered how women feel about knowing that they can be manipulated fairly easily.
Hitler, Maslow, Pavlov they all proved it, EVERYONE is easy to manipulate.
hahaha, love the MASSIVE debate, negging works as long as it is used in a calm and relaxed manner and not said malliciously, at the end of the day, its just fun!
And as for the wrest of the argument, girls i can be the BEST boy friend you have EVER had, i will shower you with gifts everyday, cook you breakfast, lunch and take you to dinner, i can give you AMAZING sex, BUT first you have to prove to me, that you are worth my time, money and attention, too many men make the mistake of being the BEST boy friend and fail to ask for something first. Its all about taking and rewarding.
Came across this from a completely unrelated search on the origins of the word “neg”.
I am a woman. I wouldn’t personally say that I am particularly “hot”, but I do have a well endowed bosom, which seems to be a sort of sandwich board that says “hit on me with badly thought up boob references, please”.
I couldn’t say for certain whether a neg would or would not work on me. Personally, I doubt it would *work* – in the sense that it would make me want to chase a guy for his approval, but it would definitely make me notice.
We as people/a species (I’m not referring to gender here) are socially wired to not be unpleasant to each other, so when somebody throws a semi-insult at you, of course you notice. How you respond to it depends on you as a person.
Jesse has repeatedly said that the neg is not to be used too freely or too heavily, which I appreciate. I still don’t particularly agree with the idea of having to put a wobble into somebody’s self confidence in order to get a foot in the door to a steamy night of passion.
As most women who have posted here, I also find the notion quite misogynistic.
HOWEVER:
There are women (not all women, just as not ALL men resort to negging and the like) who use their bodies and sexuality to make themselves feel empowered.
In much the same way that a pick up artist (I’m sorry, but I really hate this term. Picking someone up should not be an “art”, or something that to me sounds like a hobby. I use it in reference to the article) plays on a woman’s weakness to feel empowered, there are women who will play on a man’s weakness to do the same.
This is not an uneven playing field – the tactics are different that’s all.
Men are physically wired, women are wired emotionally, so it stands to reason that women will tweak a men’s physical wires and a man will tweak a woman’s emotional wires.
It just feels more wrong because for whatever reason, emotional manipulation is deemed much worse than physical manipulation. It feels more underhand.
I don’t agree with negging, and I don’t think it should be resorted to, but I agree that it would work. In much the same way a woman “putting herself out there” would work on a man.
Which, for the record, I also don’t agree with.
Thanks for the balanced comment, and very fair points!
I’d add to make it clear, that to my understanding, this negging is only to be used to GET HER ATTENTION, a foot on the door-step to say so.
What comes after is a story of personality
thanks anonymous. you’re one of the few people that get it, instead of reading into their own insecurities.
I got a pretty good laugh at all the “woman” posting who so strongly assert they are attractive or hot as if that makes their opinion on the topic more valid. Let me let you in on a secret: NO HOT CHICKS ARE CRUISING A MESSAGE BOARD FOR A TWO BIT WEB SITE ABOUT PICKING UP GIRLS. You may THINK your hot, but you are just another slight to seriously overweight, average or worse looking girl who always makes a big deal out of your gender on chat boards because you know it will get you some attention from the even lamer male nerds. Because you are at your very heart, an attention whore.
As for negging, I’m not a fan of the concept simply because I wouldn’t want to be around a woman to responds to such a technique, but objectively speaking it clearly has some merit and assholes or what ever you call guys that use them, use them because they work. That is simply fact, just go to a club and see for yourself. Frankly I couldn’t give a shit about the poor plight of the hot (actually hot) club girl/skank being manipulated by this very benign tactic. They say a fool and his money are soon parted, well you can also say that about idiot girls and their pants.
Any normal, decent, intelligent girl is NEVER going to fall victim to this tactic. Anyone who does deserves what ever they get. Your best protection from negging is not to be a superficial, self-important, skankass cow.
Yeah, negging probably works on girls who are daft enough to feed into it without realizing that the guy is doing it on purpose.
But girls with logic will take into account what is HAPPENING, not what is BEING SAID. What is happening: A: a guy has noticed me in a crowded room of other girls, B: said guy has gone as far as to approach me, C: guy is making an effort to hold my attention.
See, with this logic, it simply does not matter what dribble the guy is spewing but what he is actually doing that speaks volumes.
Negging is for guys who have too low of self esteem to actually put themselves out there and be honest with their intentions. If you are not man enough to take the possible rejection, then you are not ready to approach women at all. Negging is half-assed.
But have fun with your sincerely dense girl who needs a stranger’s approval.
Okay, so I get from the back-pedaling and defense that you’re saying this is *only* meant for the stuck-up hottie chicks who normally wouldn’t give a guy the time of day. Great. As a woman, I totally acknowledge that there are some chicks out there who should be brought down a peg or two by being reminded that they are still human and subject to human stuff – lint in their hair or maybe their tag is sticking out the back of the neck of their dress.
Just to clarify, though, I’d like to know why you’d be going for a chick like that in the first place. Unless you’re just looking to get laid – that’s different and if it’s all you’re after, hey, it’s your party. Seriously, though, if you want a relationship, why would you go for a chick for whom negging is designed? Why would you want a relationship with someone so shallow?
This is a pretty good point.
when i’m out dancing…when there’s loud music..i simply don’t want to answer a mundane question such as “hey how’s it going” or “so do you live around here”. i can’t even HEAR! it’s just so much easier to simply ignore that ‘stage 5 clinger’ who’d actually make an attempt to converse that way. i see how the reverse psychology of said”negging” could yield results in said specific circumstances. negging is to neggable chicks as charismatic personability is to regular chicks.
BUT! at the end of the day: if you’re a guy, on the high end of the looks spectrum, AND you have non-creepy charisma, you are going to get 97% of the pussy you pursue. (under normal circumstances)
Did this yesterday, I told a girl her eyes were big (in a playful way) she laughed and said “NO THEYRE NNOOOTTT!”
Did it to another girl, she was sitting there quietly with her friends, it was getting awkward, I told them that they all were weird as hell, got a positive response.
You werent supposed to make the girl feel terrible about herself, its just playing around, like how you would tease your friends.
yep, exactly 8)
I just spent a long time reading through these articles in reverse. I’ve been intentionally seeking out PUA blogs because I live in a town where the men appear to rely on PUA advice. I need to know what I’m up against because I’ve only recently relocated here.
I haven’t read all the articles and I don’t intend to because they don’t relate to me. But I will say that this blog is quite different from the other very popular PUA “Roosh V”, where he encourages hate of Western Females. It’s down right derogatory to all humans, not just females. You have a posting which intelligently addresses many of his rants about feminism and how it’s killed Western Females. For that post alone, your chosen occupation has redeemed itself.
The reason why your blog really doesn’t relate to me is because I am a chubby 4 who dresses frumpy for my career and out of laziness.
Where was I?
Negs. Ah yes. I get negged consistently and I can’t deny that they make me laugh.
They work.
Not the roots showing or bear belly types. But the sister, Eskimo nose and other pokes work to get me to laugh and engage pretty quickly.
If saying that someone has an Eskimo nose is “racist” as someone ahead of me claimed, then that person needs to get educated on what the definition of racism is. Then look up the definition of stereotype. Then realize that there is no such thing as an Eskimo nose. Which exactly why the neg would work on me.
I have to be honest. Before reading this post, I had no idea what a neg was or that’s what I had experienced. I just thought the guy was using a “weird” opener. Which for me, makes it much more preferable than “Where do you work?”, “How did you get there?”, “How much do you make?”, “Are there any openings?”,
These are the standard male openers where I’m at and they make me grind my teeth and cringe.
So when a guy says “That sweater looks like the one my Grandmother wore last week when she packed my lunch!” I am going to laugh. I’ll wonder of course, if he lives with his Grandmother and why she’s packing his lunch. All which leads to a really good chat, which may lead to a connection.
Which is what the whole point of the exercise is.
I think.
great points thanks for writing
There seems to be a lot of angry, bitter women. I would hate to be a guy. This article isn’t telling men to be an insulting asshole, its saying to be playful. I love that my boyfriend & i can tease & pick on each other. Life is meant to be fun. Being able to laugh with someone or about yourself is amazing for your soul. & having an alpha male is extremely sexy.
The voice of reason
For the first minute or so of reading this, I was getting a little annoyed. But once I got a little further in, I began to understand. Maybe as a lesbian, whose group of friends is exclusively guys (and has been since childhood), I have a different perspective than most other women here, I don’t know.
On one level, I think guys don’t get what it’s like for most women in bars or clubs. I’m generally a very social, friendly person. I’m nice to everybody, even people I don’t like or those that others may choose not to engage with. But that changes at bars. Because I’m very feminine looking, guys never guess that I’m gay…so I get hit on a fair bit. At the beginning of the night, if a genuinely nice guy were to come up to me, I’d gently inform him that I’m gay, but tell him that I’d love to hang out anyway. I’ve met some really good friends this way. But the nice guys are few and far between. Most are vaguely creepy, and definitely too eager. Even when I tell them I don’t really dig guys, that only seems to encourage them more, because they see it as a challenge. After the 10th sleazy, slurring, stumbling guy comes up to me insisting that I’m only gay because I haven’t slept with the right guy yet (ie. him, and yes, I’ve been told this more times than I can count), I’m just done. I want to go home, put on my pajamas and play video games…by myself. And even if a genuinely nice guy were to come up to me, at this point of the night I’m just so sick of any sort of male attention that I would be more dismissive than I would’ve if it had been earlier in the night. I definitely think that this is what most women encounter when they go out to a bar or a club.
BUT…I also get that “most women” are not who you’re talking about with this post. You’re talking about the women that think they’re the shit, and that every guy must worship them unconditionally (I know a girl like this. We stopped being friends because I couldn’t take her vanity any more). They’re so used to that sort of attention that it makes somebody attractive when they separate themselves from the fawning masses. For girls that are REALLY like this, I think a neg definitely works. It disarms them, in a way, puts a chink in their armor.
My only real issue is…if she’s not a nice enough person to value your time and effort, why do you want to be with her in the first place? I get that she’s incredibly hot, but if the guys using these tips are genuinely nice guys, why are they being so shallow?
I would also warn that many girls put up a front. They seem to exude self-confidence, but it’s covering up for major insecurities. Even though the ‘neg’ isn’t intended to actually hurt, we all know women overreact, so it may not be taken exactly the way it was intended (especially if there are some underlying esteem issues). Not a criticism of the practice, just a word of advice.
But overall, if the neg reaches it’s intended target in the proper way, then it can definitely be quite effective.
Aeva… you’re a very smart cookie.
No. NononoNONONONONO.
That’s bullshit.
It’s abusive and stupid and perpetuates a culture of oppression and sexual objectification that has gone on for FUCKING MILLENNIA and it is NOT. EVER. OKAY.
NEVER.
And if she’s some bitch who thinks she’s hot shit, find a girl who’s worth your time instead of fucking around with these disgusting stereotypes…or wait! Maybe YOU’RE the shallow one!
I AM A GUY WHO USES THIS NEG THEORY…AND PLEASEE ALL GUYS THIS WORKS. USE IT. And for the girls, if u don’t like my attitude GO HUG A TRANSFORMER AND DIE. I HAVE USED IT AND I WILL USE IT AGAIN, WHETHER ON YOU OR YOUR SISTER OR YOUR KIDS , WHOEVER I CATCH FIRST.
When I meet a woman I relax and try to be normal but then I watch for the slightest sign of aloofness or ruddness from her, then and then I strike my arsenal of neg, E.g. Your shirt looks like my grandmother’s bedsheet (pointing at her shirt) and immediately I add to tell her to her face that ” I’ve weighed her and found she equals zero,” I’m leaving and that there are many women around. And I leave feelinh happy and mischevious and fulfilled. I’VE BEAT HER AT HER OWN GAME OF PUTTING HUMANS DOWN. BRAVOOOOO……. AND TO ALL CRITICS FUCK YOU, I GET LAID A LOT ALL THE TIME. INFACT I have about 4 diif chicks to fuck from today Monday till Saturday
but are you happy?
Maybe, but you still sound like an idiot, and no amount of pickup lines will ever fix that.
woman have sex with men who are hot, nice, mean, smart, dumb doesn’t matter.if you have a nice body they will do you.women are even more shallow then men.
hahahaHAHAHANO.
nope.
nope nope nope.
I mean seriously shut. The fuck. Up.
Then go outside of your fucking house and meet an ACTUAL woman instead of hitting on everyone you lay eyes on like some creep – and if you only hit on the hot ones, even though you know they’re bitchy or whatever the fuck you think, then YOU’RE shallow and THAT’S your problem – not that women will only pick guys who’re “hot.”
Fucking self-righteous prick.
Hi Jesse, Negging works like a charm.
I’d suggest writing about how women try to misguide men in how to seduce them using polular lies (ex: “we like nice guys”,”we don’t masturbate” or similar bullshit).
And the comic posted above is so irreal, a girl NEVER will know if a guy is negging her or he is just acting natural.
Yep
so tru
women….liars…they hurt inncocnet man. how dare they not let men sleep wit them????
Jesse, it’s not surprising you’ve had this negative reaction from women. When I first heard about this trick I was horrified too. It took me a while to realise that the female response to negging is a very real and more a reflection on us than on the men who use it. It’s just a shock to find you’re so easily manipulated, and the response to that shock is always going to be anger and defensiveness.
Chill out ladies. Games beget games. It’s *your* games the neg is designed to break down. Develop a solid self-image and it’s all academic. You won’t need to play games, and negs won’t come your way. Comfort in your own skin is a great counter to a misdirected neg, as is an honest, friendly approach to other people. Laugh it off…and stop playing games.
So basically if we’re negged we have it coming? Got news for ya, it isn’t just the bimbos that get negged, it’s us intelligent, comfortable-in-our-skin girls too because you twats can’t tell the difference. And we will eat you alive and humiliate you if you try that shit on us. You aren’t even defining what you mean by “games” in an effort to shift the blame onto us. I think your real problem is you know you’re out of your depth so you go after the easy, stupid girls who have something to prove, but when you run into someone who not only matches you but owns you, you cry like a little bitch and neg on us to try and make us feel bad.
Jesse you obviously got linked on some neurotic woman’s blog. They are so neurotic they don’t know how to PLAY!!!
They also realize this has worked on them at the hands of an asshat and are ashamed. This whole concept is why it’s easy to get laid by women you don’t care about. You play with them and have FUN!
Okay, because I have experience in being an “attractive with a side of rude” girl and have since transformed into a overly compassionate and nice one, I’d just like to say this: As much as ‘negging’ may essentially work on few girls.. shallow, battered girls (I was one of them).. most of the time you aren’t getting much out of it but a bitch (again, was one of them). Comments like these may somewhat attract some, but it’s more than likely because of a strange ideal that “strong” men are often somewhat rude and “unattainable”. Girls with values like these don’t often have their shit together and aren’t happy enough with themselves to understand that comments like these are NOT necessary. Most of the time, it’s something that really shallow and desperate men do, and most women will feel offended. I’ve been “negged” at before, but not because I was initially rude to a “nice guy”, but because I had a boyfriend, or because I didn’t feel comfortable furthering a relationship with a male. I understand the idea completely because I’ve been there before and sure it worked, but you have to understand that often it does more harm than good. If you want a girlfriend, be yourself and hopefully whoever Yourself is, is a lot better than the guy who was considering changing himself completely to get a girlfriend (tldr; your life will not end if your dick doesn’t get wet at this second, relax and be yourself). Good luck.
I have no doubt that this does work sometimes, and that a portion of the severe negative reaction this article’s getting from girls is because they realize at some level that it works and they’re getting defensive. Never mind that, that’s not what I’m commenting about.
I think what most rubs me the wrong way about the idea of negging is that it’s manipulative and degrading, because it’s essentially a man trying to get something from a woman as if it’s his to take, when women (and everyone, to be honest) would rather have someone engage them with mutual respect.
I’m predicting I’d get comments saying something along the lines of “a girl blowing me off isn’t respectful either!” but the same problem’s at play: a guy hitting on a girl, whether he’s doing it nicely or not, is primarily trying to get something from her. Not always, of course, but that’s how any girl is going to see it, especially if it’s in the nightclub setting that the article’s author says the negging strategy is meant for. So if she feels like someone’s hounding her for a night in bed when she’s not interested, she’s of course going to feel annoyed and uncomfortable or even threatened and anxious. That’s when the dismissive reaction comes in — a clear (and often defensive) signal that she’s not interested, one she hopes will make the guy leave her alone.
(and in case you haven’t figured it out, this is the same reason why “nice guys” are given the let’s just be friends line — being overly nice in an attempt to win a girl’s affections isn’t going to make a girl like a guy or respect him, it’s going to make her uneasy because she’ll recognize that he’s treating her like a vending machine, putting in kindness coins until sex (or a relationship, or whatever) falls out. And she gives the friends line not because she wants to hurt the guy, but for the exact opposite reason — she’s hoping a “you’re great, let’s be friends” is going to be less hard on him than a “i’m really not interested, you’re making me uncomfortable, please stop.”)
tl;dr: no one likes feeling manipulated, and women are sick and tired of guys going after them acting like (and too often believing) they are deserving and entitled to what they’re asking for. No one owes you anything just because you want it.
Too fucking right! You said what I said only nicer. I wish I had your patience.
I’m one of those girls who get along better with men than other women and because of that I’ve had to deal with a lot of awkward nice guys trying to get in my pants. Lots of times they assumed that because I liked hanging out with them and we had similar interests that I wanted them in a bad way when in reality I just want to play Nazi Zombies and talk about Batman. The philosophies behind negging have cost me friendships by implanting in males the idea that any girl can be got with the right strategy.
Who the FUCK do you think you are?
“Negging women is ideal for really hot girls – 8s, 9s, and 10s. For an average girl (6s, 7s), you don’t want to use value zingers. All you need to do is demonstrate social value – you don’t need to lower hers. Hers wasn’t that high to begin with.”
Excuse me but you, as a male have absolutely NO RIGHT to say what a female’s(or anyone elses for that matter) ‘social value’ is. This in itself is an incredibly sexist remark, and honestly you sound like an asshole. People are people regardless of gender, and have the right to be treated fairly despite what they look like.
Assholes like you are what make society shitty.
How would you feel if you were passive aggressively insulted by creeps who wanted to fuck you? Oh I’m sure you’d respond sayign youd be flattered but really, no. NO ONE wants to be belittled, insulted, or otherwise even if it is hidden with some ‘complement’
holy shit, chill out. breathe…. think about what he said and what you’re saying in response. He is admonishing his readers NOT to use this tactic on girls who might be ACTUALLY NEGATIVELY EFFECTED BY IT. To be honest, ANYONE who would be at all fazed by ANY of these “negs” has severe emotional issues, and should not be considered “a typical girl out at a nightclub”, unless you think the typical girl has the emotional constitution of an infant. Judging from your response, maybe you think all girls are as ABSURDLY SENSITIVE as you yourself are, but I can tell you their not. It’s interesting that you used that whole double standard argument– here’s a different one for you: How outraged would you be if you read this in cosmo written by a female about how to attract guys????? Or are guys just emotionally stronger than women, so it’d be okay? FUCKING THINK PLEASE.
*they’re
….Did any of you gals & guys bother to read the full article? The author explicitly reminds the reader that “negs” should not be used to inflict any real emotional damage. Granted a lot of “negs” listed are really, really stupid and awkward things to say, but the “meanest” one imo is “what’s so special about this one?” Are girls really so fragile that the mere SUGGESTION that they’re not special, warrants this RIDICULOUSLY DISPROPORTIONATE negative backlash, that actually IS intended to inflict emotional harm on the author. Hypocrisy much? “Negging” is one of the oldest tactics in the book, and is used ALL THE TIME by both genders. It’s particularly useful to boys/men because women ARE MORE LIKELY TO WANT BOYFRIENDS/MATES/SPOUSES that are “higher status”. Makes sense when you think about how important a male mate’s protection, access to resources, and independence was (and still sometimes is, believe it or not) to the survival of women and their children (i.e. those who passed on their genetic material to US.) This article might be useful to boys having trouble with girls, because boys’ NATURAL INCLINATION is to FLATTER the shit out of them. I dare ONE GIRL on here to advocate CONSTANT FLATTERY (i.e. 0 negging) as a successful way for boys (especially ones that aren’t particularly physically attractive) to attract girls. It is merely a sign of status, independence, and confidence, i.e. what pretty much EVERY GIRL wants in a mate (among other things, of course). CHILL THE FUCK OUT
Perfectly put Michelle. Sounds like you could make a killing $$ being the level-headed psychiatrist to all of the loca girls on here.
I am a woman.
1) The user cannot possibly know which negs will be hurtful to the subject and which will be harmless. THE INTENT SHOULD ALWAYS BE: DO NO HARM. Why the fuck would you want to risk injuring someone over a lay, or just so they’ll notice you? Are you really that cruel and petty?
2) Humans are social creatures. Seeking to reduce someone’s social standing (ie amongst their peer group) with questions like “what’s so special about this one?” and “do you guys ever get a word in?” IS AUTOMATICALLY DAMAGING. Mean, cruel, pointless. You are a bully.
3) Wow let’s not only reduce women to a tingling bunch of Pavlovian responses to ~male dominance~, let’s also reduce men to nothing more than the sum of their assets. Have car? check. Have job? check. Hold brutal rule over everyone in grunting silverback style? check. Presto! Happily ever after.
Can you hear how ridiculous that is?
4) Oh wow, god forbid boys have a natural inclination to compliment and be kind to women because they like them. Got to train them outta that, lickety-split! You should probably teach them that women have a variety of ways of saying “Yes” to sex, while your at it. Otherwise the boys might never know that “not now,” and “I have a headache,” and “maybe,” and “haha” and “ew gross” and “no, thank you” and “NO” actually mean yes. While we’re teaching them such useful things, let’s also lobotomize the part of their brains that actually considers women to be people, because haha obviously we don’t need it.
5) Yeah, I can speak from experience that a guy who never negged me (i.e. 0 negging), and actually treated me better than I thought I was worth, eventually became a romantic interest, because he won my trust and friendship and respect, to the point that I wanted to give him my body, too. It doesn’t work with everyone. I have guy friends who treat me like royalty, but I’m never going to sleep with them because I’m just straight up not attracted to them. But does that mean my male friends are free to treat me like assholes? Hell no, they wouldn’t be my friends! And, hello, being a friend is an honor. Be flattered, sparky.
6) It isn’t what “every girl wants in a mate.” Bullshit. a) some women don’t want mates, haha gotcha b) way to consistently use the word “girl” to describe full grown, self-respecting women thanks c) great job advocating to your female peers that women should be seeking out self-serving, narcissistic assholes who insult them from the get-go and get pissed when there’s no sex for good behavior. That’s what I want my daughter (younger sister, little cousin, single aunt, lonely grandmother, widowed mother, best friend) to look for.
7) You should be ashamed of yourself.
I would never date anyone who ever tried this and next person who tries this on me will get my hand so far up his ass I’ll wave at him.
I don’t understand tbh. The phrase ‘works on hot girls’ is used again and again here, and it’s presumably because you assume all hot girls are used to being chased.etc.etc, but wait, what? What IS a hot girl, exactly? Does EVERYONE have the same type that they concider a hot girl? Speaking as a woman who is attracted to guys but who has also been attracted to girls (and have been in a serious relationship with a girl), that statement makes no sense to me. The guys (and the few girls) I’m attracted to are not (usually) viewed as attractive by most of my friends – because it’s a matter of taste.
So just because a girl is hot (TO YOU) doesn’t mean she would react to ‘negging’ the way you presume.
I’ve been ‘negged’ by some guys before and although I didn’t know it was an actual fucking flirting technique at the time, it sure as hell didn’t work. “Your roots are showing” made me respond with “I know that asshole, I do have mirror at home” – it didn’t make my heart go all fluttery.
Also, you’re all assholes.
If you want a serious, happy relationship, it’s fucking stupid to start it on false ground; ‘oh look at me i’m such a strong, bad boy, I am appealing to your underdeveloped brain’.
If you just want to have sex; find someone who is interested enough without having to fucking try to manipulate her into it; I’m into casual sex, but if anyone I’ve ever slept with had tried to ‘neg’ me that night, it wouldn’t have happened.
“It’s often pretty CRUSHING to the guy’s self-esteem that he isn’t given 10 seconds to acknowledge he’s another human being to talk to and say “hello”. Ignoring a guy completely is much crueler than any neg a guy would dish. (Like, “Hey girl! You have some lint in your hair… look at that.”)
Then again, it’s a night club. If a guy’s ego is so fragile, he shouldn’t go.
So please girls, if a guy told you that you had lint in your hair and that would “cut you down” or would “crush you”, and your ego is THAT fragile, then don’t go to night clubs!! After all, the guys have to deal with MUCH WORSE from you girls!”
Here’s the CliffNotes, for those who don’t understand how rude and misogynistic those three paragraphs are: Any guy who can’t take a blow to his ego shouldn’t go to a nightclub. But neither should hot girls, because they bruise the aforementioned egos by not wanting to be hit on every second of every night by someone who knows they’re going to fail without making her feel self-conscious. If you’re going to hurt us men by rejecting us (which is your natural right if you’re uninterested), we should be entitled to hurt you back by pointing out your flaws (which is bullying, and should be frowned upon by anyone who actually deserves to keep your company for the night).
I hope you (and anyone else who tries a bullshit tactic like this) stay single for life. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be saddled with an asshole like you.
This is ridiculous. Backhanded comments in a club or otherwise would have me staring at you blankly, as in “who the hell is this guy?” It’s knee-jerk offensive and pretty pretentious! What if I call out your bs? According to a whole bunch of desperate guys, apparently, it’s ‘nothing to be ashamed of.’
Look, it’s like telling girls “Just tell em, “you look a little flabby around the middle, it’s adorable.” And these 9, 10 boys will weaken and seek your approval, PSYCHOLOGY. On 5,6,7 level guys be sure to insult only their personality, as their looks are already unconfident. Alternatively, you could say something if they’re with their friends, “Why do you even hang out with this guy, anyway? To help you win arcade prizes?” In a jokey tone! So you’re not being too much of a jerk!!! It’s a guaranteed, non-harmful process, so neg!”
“Let’s go invade this dude’s privacy and try to make him dance and wreck his confidence (just a little so he stops snobbing for being hot) to bring him after us!”
“Wow, you’re offended you (re: ugly fat loser) with inferior experience? I think you’re offended because it’s TRUE. In MY experience you never would have dated me in high school.”
Just. Why. Firstly, appearance should have 0% to do with it, it’s morally idiotic and secondly, if I have been negged a time or two, it didn’t make my eyebrow curve up any less. I actually had to look it up if backhanded compliments were an actual pickup technique and look at what I’m reading.
Lastly, this is very irritating to read, it gives the same ‘is this guy stupid’ feeling as hearing someone telling you how women are BIOLOGICALLY inferior to men. I’m not saying the two theories are the same thing, I’m explaining just how annoying it is to hear about it.
Let it be noted my boyfriend got me by complimenting (i.e no negging)
Let it also be noted I will straight up rip into you if I ever get hit on in this way in a club. This is me being polite. Let me disproportionally negative feedback your ass, are we clear? God, this is like telling my little brother to stop calling girls ‘bitches.’
I don’t think I completely agree with some of the comments on here (half of the guys responding can’t even form a full sentence, not mention the horrendous misspellings), but I will admit that Charger has some good points.
I, like some of the other women who commented on here, understand that a neg is not meant to be offensive or break down a girl’s self-confidence. The examples given are kind of crappy, just in my opinion, but I have heard some really good ones that definitely captured my attention. I think it’s approached in the wrong way though. To capture those “I’m-hot-as-shit” girls’ attentions, I think it’s better to say treat them like one of your friends, not like a girl you want to get with (because essentially, that’s what negging is – an attempt to show those types of girls that their rejection doesn’t matter…unless I completely misunderstood the article).
All the guys I’ve had a serious interest in, they treated me like I was one of them. They picked on me, teased me, etc. It’s different, and it’s entertaining. I personally don’t want someone who’s going to tell me I’m beautiful all the time – if you do want a guy like that, then you’ve got some deep-rooted self-esteem issues and you should probably go talk to someone about it instead of prowling bars/clubs.
Women are getting so offended because it’s the truth. No one wants an ass-kisser for a boyfriend or a husband – that’s boring as hell, and that’s probably not why you started dating the guy in the first place. You want a challenge, and a chase. That’s why “hot” girls date assholes – because the assholes don’t give a shit about sucking up, but the girls don’t have the wits to realize that act doesn’t change once they start dating.
Just my opinion. I thought it was an interesting article because I’ve never actually heard of negging before (but now that I’ve read the article, I know what method it is that guys in my part of town use a lot).
But wait…how are you sure that this bombshell has had her ass kissed all of her life when you, “FIRST MEET” her? Is it because shes pretty? I mean, Im a funny girl so “negging” just sounds like what I do to everybody I like, or want to like at some point. That part doesn’t bother me. I just wish it wasn’t so gender specific.
Look lady, negging is definitely not ‘light teasing.’ It’s pretty much structured… assholery. Teasing is natural! It happens when guys are great. Just b/c my bf didn’t catch my attention by negging it does not mean he’s an ass kisser? It irritates me because it’s patently untrue, since I have to literally spell this out.
The difference is the motive, if this wasn’t clear.
This is just sick, you really think something like this works! Women aren’t another creature, just talk to them like any person would, with respect! I don’t say this a lot, but I gotta be honest, I hate you. I don’t care how you defend this, this isn’t right. Have some fucking respect!
lol I love the thinly veiled neg in this article. The whole “Don’t worry–if you’re average looking you won’t get negged” is kind of hilarious. So, the expected effect is supposed to be: “Gee, I wish a guy would neg me so I’d be reassure that I was hot.” thusly rendering negging a compliment instead of a sit/heel/beg trick some men degrade themselves into doing.
I mean, look: Sure, there are dumb girls out there that will fall for this nonsense, but, really? You’re gonna try that hard/are forced to resort to doing silly parlor tricks just so some girl will talk to you? It just seems kind of humiliating to the guy to have to trick women into interacting with him.
I’ve personally been negged and my first thought was, “Awwww. That’s cute that he’s putting in so much effort to catch my attention. He’s not my type but I’ll chit chat for a few minutes then politely excuse myself.” However, I’m admittedly not ‘supermodel hot’ nor unfriendly, so I guess I wasn’t the ideal target? Mmmidunno.
Here’s all you need to know, guys: Be nice, interesting, and good looking. If you only have 2/3, try asking out the so-called ‘average’ women instead. If you want a model type in bed, bite the bullet and hire a high end hooker. It’s no more embarassing than jumping through hoops/putting on airs trying to snag a girl at a bar, and is guaranteed.
wow yes i love to insult the bejeezus out of people to knock them down a few pegs – obviously cuz they look too hot for me like omg what would i do without a guy in my life like omg. haha NOPE.
anybody who talks to me like that is getting their ballsack of dignity nailed to a tree.
whoever thought of this needs to go **** a cactus. and then some.
and learn the word Empathy.
and i also think it says alot that these same asshole “nice guys” who use this technique will listen to this article but argue day and night with ACTUAL WOMEN about what they want.
you’ll rather listen to some douchebag instead of the actual women you’re trying to get with
Hey, I know! Why don’t you just be yourself, dickbag? If you have to knock a “hot girl” down for her to pay attention to you, why do you want her in the first place? People are so fucking dumb. smh
I can only speak for myself, but the main reason I don’t respond to guys at nightclubs/bars is that I’m not looking for love in those places. I’m there to have a good time with my friends. I am flattered when a guy nicely asks if he can buy me a drink or if I want to dance, and when I say no, it’s honestly nothing personal.
As for the joking around/teasing–in the right context, it’s great. I like people with a sense of humor and it’s nice to be able to laugh at yourself. Honestly, maybe that would work on some level (but I’m still not going home with you–if that’s what you were looking for, I am just a wasted conversation you could have had with someone who shared your end goal.) But that’s not really what comes to mind when I think of “negging”–probably because most guys who do it DO IT BADLY. A lot of people who “neg” seem to truly have some level of hate/contempt toward women, and it shows. I’m not down with that.
It’s very true that it can be done badly; and some guys are just being mean or teasing a girl, they’re not even thinking of it as “negging” and girls sometimes mistake and confuse bullying with negging.
http://www.seductionscience.com/2010/bio-jesse-charger/
Here it says right at the begining: ” I’ll be blunt here; my purpose is to get you laid and to get you laid FAST… and *without* all the hassle of traditional dating (expensive dinners, spending money, showing off, the “goodnight kiss of death”, etc). ” (2nd sentance btw)
So for all of you girls wondering why would someone want such a girl (that does responds to neggs), eg. these hot girls, here’s an answer for you. MEN would want these girls for a one night stand, that’s it. No hard feelings, get laid, get out. Know why you came here in the first place. (which is to get laid – it says so on the bio of jesse charger). I hope this clears it up a bit.
Negs are a great tool in your arsenal but you can’t rely on them as they disqualify you from your target always have a complement ready after your neg just in case it back fires or at least have three replies ready for an awkward come back . Begging is a great way to open a conversation but the real key to success with women is confidence , being yourself and not being needy .
Yeah- in fact negs are completely unnecessary for the typical guy to bed typical girls. But it’s fun to use them to experiment, to filter for certain types of girls, to amp up the reactions you get from hot girls, and so on.
Hope you can live with yourself knowing that you are complete disgusting piece of flesh that doesn’t deserve to breath the same air as the insects that crawl through the shit filled gutters. You will die alone.
No, you see, the issue we have isn’t about the whole ‘being insulting’ thing (though that is rude, you can choose to be a rude person if you want, I don’t care). The issue is that what you’ve done in thsi article is basically reduce a woman’s value to her attractiveness to a man.
“You’ve indicated to her that you’re not interested in her over anyone else in the group. This is a new thing for her.”
Yeah, because I’m sure that the most important thing for her is that you’re interested in her! Say nothing of the fact that she was just trying to talk to her friends when she was approached, clearly just by the fact that she’s a woman she’s trying to get your attention.
“She’ll feel the bitter sting of being just like everyone else. Her looks no longer give her all the power – because you’re not responding to her looks.”
A girl’s power, though you may not believe it, isn’t actually 100% related to her looks! Guess what: she can be a person who doesn’t care about looks! Just because you think she’s hot, doesn’t mean she tries to be or thinks about it all the time.
“She’s wondering, ‘Why isn’t this guy attracted to me? Why isn’t this guy paying attention to me? Who is this guy? How am I going to win this guy’s attention?’”
Yeah… I don’t think so. Most likely, you’ll get a weird look and be ignored. Once again, a woman’s thoughts aren’t always focused on being attractive to you!
“The same holds true for beautiful women…Their whole reality is based on having power and having acceptance and adoration through their good looks. Take that away and their whole reality crumbles and they’ll do anything to get it back.”
I don’t think I even have to say anything to get across how stupid and misogynistic this is.
“For an average girl (6s, 7s), you don’t want to use value zingers. All you need to do is demonstrate social value – you don’t need to lower hers. Hers wasn’t that high to begin with.”
Excuse me? A girl’s social value is entirely based on her looks? Fortunately, no, because girls happen to have these things called – wait for it – PERSONALITIES! Her value is about who she is, not what she looks like.
So in closing, you’re a sexist idiot who sees girls as objects, not people, and even when you try to add an update that explains why you’re right, you do it wrong! Please, try to get a new perspective on females, or at least stop posting stuff like this on the internet to propogate the idea that it’s okay to think this way.
As a woman I know this works. But to be fair, it works on guys as well. I never had much self-esteem growing up and wondered why all of the guys I liked never reciprocated my feelings. Then I realized I was acting like a timid puppy that just followed gross beardos around because they paid attention to me.
So what did I do? I lost 70 lbs and learned how to do my fucking makeup. I stopped giving a shit if people liked what I said or not. I start conversations towards guys with clever one liners and witty banter. They like that this girl 1. Approached them first 2. Is like the best-friend-with-tits they never had.
I’ve had some of the most handsome men at the bar talking to me, something I never dreamed would happen. All it takes is a sense of humor, a good idea of boundaries, and some goddamn self-esteem.
It’s not all stuck up spoiled bitches and overly sensitive cows out there. What women don’t know is that they can actually use these techniques themselves with a little tweaking. Everyone needs to calm down and realize that none of this really fucking matters in the end. Just have fun. If you don’t like what the dude is saying, move on.
Amen Sista!
All negging does is make a girl think you’re an asshole
In attack and defense of negging: http://www.newstatesman.com/blogs/voices/2012/05/negging-latest-dating-trend
Take a moment and actually read it through. It makes great points about the different degrees of negging (flirtatious teasing versus malicious “you think you’re too good for me so I need to lower your social value” teasing), and about the internet seduction culture.
Another good one: http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-12-22/girl-talk-lets-talk-about-negging/#more-1746742
When you think about it, who better to tell you what girls like than the sources that are telling girls what girls like, right?
I’m sorry, but even in your extra note, you haven’t realised why this is all so offensive. Every piece of language you use to describe women is based around the idea that women are quite irrational and ‘emotional’. You place the blame on women for not being interested in every guy that comes over to talk them as way to completely excuse your own behaviour. Your saying that really men are the victims of fickle women and therefore all the blame for you being a dick can be put on the women that you are being a dick to. You basically dehumanise woman with the way you write about them.
The gist of your extra note defending this article is: ‘its ok for me to subtly insult women if they are very attractive because they have a high sense of self worth and I am a ‘nice guy’ really.’ Do you honestly believe that a woman’s sense of self worth is based entirely around her looks? I’m sorry, but if you can’t see that every word of this is misogynist bullshit then you shouldn’t be allowed to spend any time with women.
[...] of,” Technique said with a grin. “That was a ‘neg’. It’s Seduction 101. Short for ‘negative’. You say something to put her down [...]
How do you know if some girl you’ve never met before at a club or bar, that you think is a 8-10, (Which is sickening, by the way, women aren’t pumpkins being judged at the fucking county fair) has been treated like an 8-10, and “getting her ass kissed”? I was bullied for my looks in middle school and through most of highschool. I got called ugly and fat and a whole slew insults that still make me afraid to leave my apartment without makeup or a carefully selected ensemble. But when I went to college, suddenly boys were lining up.
After my first relationship ended my sophomore year, I had six guys (and girl) within two weeks asking if I wanted to hook up or go out sometime. Whatever I had been before, I seemed to have finally made it to this mythical level of ‘hotness’ that girls aspire to achieve. I would go to parties and be the center of attention, walk to class and get cat called. I’d been an ‘ugly nerd’ my whole adolescence, and now I could talk to guys about Legend of Zelda, Pokemon, and Dungeons and Dragons or whatever else, so suddenly all these things that had made me a reject before were now attributes that only made me more desirable. It was a very drastic change for me, one that I still haven’t quite adjusted to yet. I’m just now starting to get the confidence in myself that I should have always had, regardless of my looks.
If I was out at a bar, and some guy tried to do this to me (which they have), I’d call him out for exactly what he was being. A fucking asshole (which I’ve done). Because if you do this, guess what, you are being a fucking asshole.
Stop using your shallow scale to evaluate attractiveness and then using that as an okay to insult women. “She’s a 9, so she wouldn’t ever give me the time of day therefore she deserves this.”
No.
No.
Just. No.
Repeat after me.
Just because you’ve had your feelings hurt by rejection doesn’t give you the right to be hurtful to a women.
Just talk to them like a person, and if they’re a bitch about it, then THEY WEREN’T WORTH YOUR TIME ANYWAY.
Why is this so hard for you people to get?
P.S. If you get mad because women don’t want to get with you because you’re “such a nice guy”, then guess what? You’re not a nice guy. Women aren’t vending machines that put out sex when you put in enough kindness tokens. We’re allowed to have preferences. We’re allowed to not be attracted to someone. I find it hilarious that in these comments you smack talk the ‘chubby ugly girls’ while the article above is supposed to help you pick up ‘the hot ones’, and all the while you’re simultaneously whining about how girls never noticed your geeky-ass back in highschool even though you were “suck a nice guy”.
Double standard, hypocritical, backwards-ass, motherfuckers.
-drops mic and walks off stage-
So, let me get this straight. In your dream scenario right, when you’ve finally married this hot chick that you’re sure you deserve (cause media has told you all of your life that at the end of your long hard day of “being a man”, your REWARD is a beautiful woman), and you’re telling your son or daughter (heaven help all of your daughters) about how you met, you wanna be like, “I just pummeled her self esteem until she felt so bad about herself that she slept with me to validate herself.” THINK ABOUT THE EXAMPLE YOU ARE SETTING FOR YOUR SONS.
You honestly think that slowly chipping away at the confidence of a woman is clever? You think it is some special little secret that you can use to finally get your cock sucked? Fuck you, man. All of you. You think it is something NEW to belittle a woman into submission of a man? Women every day are bullied by men, in the work place, in the government. It is undeniable and inexcusable. The power you think that hot women hold over men, how much do you think that power is worth?
Men are afraid women will laugh them; women are afraid men will kill them.
Please spend your time fighting a worthwhile battle, rather than waging war with the self esteem of women.
[...] to find a suitable answer to why you are single you will be doing exactly that. Still confused? Try negging,but a word of caution: not for the faint of [...]
your counter argument of “It hurts more to be rejected than to be negged” doesn’t do the trick for me.
Because, following your logic, in order to not hurt somebody’s feelings I have to pretty much have sex with every guy who approaches me. Which, for obvious reasons, is not going to happen.
In order for you guys to stop hurting feelings you just have to stop negging people.
See, on my side it’s a passive action, I have to wait to be hit on and then either be really nice to whoever does it or have sex with them in order to avoid crushing people’s feelings.
All you have to do to avoid crushing people is, uh, stop actively insulting people with the intent of crushing them.
See the difference? People like you are the reason women are jerks to dudes who hit on them in bars in the first place, because YOU ARE BEING JERKS TO US YOUR WHOLE SYSTEM REVOLVES AROUND THAT.
ok thanks.
I think any woman would have fonder feelings towards her own shit than she would have towards you.
“Trying too hard” is a turn-off. Walking up to me and telling me I’m so pretty is not a great way to start a conversation cause I’ve heard it 50,000 times before. Say something meaningful. Telling me I have lint in my hair is fine, I’ll laugh that off (and not at all feel ‘taken down’) – if you say something more blatantly insulting, I will probably insult you back and win.
WRT “Rejection vs Negging” – Rejection is a part of life. People walking around hitting on random strangers are literally asking for rejection. A lot of us would rather not reject you, but you left us no choice, since we can’t practically sleep with every single “nice guy” who comes along! (Then get called a slut!) That’s the price you pay to play. Don’t like it? Cash out your chips. However, negging someone is something you choose to just walk up and do. Good for you, asshole.
A certain amount of honest asshole dude “not trying to impress you” is attractive, if it is in a way that feels genuine/real – probably not, at least on me, as a “technique” to get my attention. Attractive women get ALL KINDS of attention, seems to be the forgotten thing here, and all attention IS attention. If you’re trying to get me to talk to you, you’re interested in SOMETHING, it doesn’t really matter what you’re saying – and I know that. If you’re making weird comments I probably think you’re socially inept – whether they are flattering or about the lint in my hair.
I also think the absolute worst defense was “I understand the ladies are pissed off about this but don’t worry it probably won’t even happen to you, the dudes who read this article are too scared to do it!” …. No, this is advice you are giving, you either stand behind it or you don’t. Besides, if they’re doing it right, we won’t even be able to tell, right? Just a casual comment that we won’t even consciously register, but that’ll make us feel less like we’re calling the shots.
At the end of the day, though, if it works for you, fine. Cool, great, like, you found one that wasn’t that bright, or didn’t care that you’re trying a new kind of elaborate ploy, maybe she liked the change of pace. It won’t ruin her life. You are, meanwhile, getting better at the game and less good at forming a genuine human being connection. You can be insanely lonely for all the naked people who pass through your bed, and the better you get at playing the more you’ll know that. Have fun with your ‘techniques’.
Lol. This is so dumb. If a guy broke into a conversation between me and someone I knew with this shit, I’d laugh in his face. Or an acquaintance or friend. This is disgusting because it is used on young ladies with self esteem issues. No one with real self confidence reacts by becoming enamored with someone who talks to them like this.
Hi Jesse, I’ve been reading the comments from all these females & their anger is fucking hilarious! I dont think they get it… when a woman has been a bitch to you why wouldnt you treat her like the p.o.s. she is?! lol JUST LIKE THEY WOULD DO TO A GUY WHO DID THE SAME THING! Whenever Ive been turned down by a “hot” chick it goes 1 of 2 ways… either A:She looks at me with disgust as if to say “Why are you speaking to me?” or B: She does it in a respectful, polite way ie:”Sorry I have a bf, Im not interested.” In the case of B Im not at all offended or upset & why?! because she still treated me like I was a human being & was nice about it. THAT woman does NOT deserve to be treated poorly as she was still treating me like I am a person, not like Im sub-human. But as far as “A” goes, fuck her! You treat me like Im “less than” & guess what bitch its gonna come right back! But instead of openly insulting you which is EASY AS FUCK TO DO! Especially to a female. ie: “ya know before you go around insulting me or others you might want to call the street dept. & have them come fill in the potholes on your ass & thighs!” <– My own insult that I came up with to destroy a bitch who has just tried to destroy me. So instead of that crap if youre a bitch to me & I think your shell is still worth fucking then Im gonna try to fuck & chuck you. If it works great! & another laugh for me! If not o-well at least I dont/wont have to put up with this bitchy person! In reality I WAS truely a nice guy but not the pussy whipped little bitch boy nice guy & still I got walked on by most females I wouldve been a great guy to but they chose to go after a douche who didnt give a shit about them & would use the crap described all over this site to manipulate them & trick them before shitting on them & none of these idiots could ever figure out why! Neither could I so I started looking into it & BEHOLD! lol after reading several articles on this site it all makes sense now (well truthfully I still, for the life of me, cant figure out why but it seems to work so…). So ladies… if your the type of female who treats guys like shit then fuck you bitch how do you expect to be treated any differently?! & if youre not this way then you shouldnt be treated like this. It all comes down to, You get what you deserve, In case B I said sorry I didnt mean any disrespect & walked away. In B many (not all but enough!) were then subjected to the fuck ya & chuck ya treatment which I never wouldve done had they at the very least treated me like I was a human being. If you arent interested in me thats fine! Just dont try to belittle me or try to make me feel inferior as thats when the asshole side of me will emerge to show you that you aint shit either! Heres an exercise for the ladies: The next time some guy that youre not interested in comes up to talk to you, treat him like hes a human being & say no thank you in a way that doesnt leave him feeling like hes not even worthy enough to step outside his house ie:dont give him a fucked up look just say you have a bf & your happy with him so youre not interested. Even if you dont it should make him go away & free you up for someone elses attention! Now if he still wont leave you alone then grow a pair of pussy lips & be a WOMAN! Tell him "Look I already told you Im not interested so please leave me alone." or just tell him to fuck off! If he didnt get it the 1st time then he gets what he deserves! & as far as 1 post asking how all of this is right, (this websites info etc…) TECHNICALLY its not BUT… If this is what you fucking fools are going to respond to & since the guy ALL OF YOU have ALWAYS SAID YOU WANTED, (ie: the nice guy.) isnt good enough for you then why wouldnt we use these types of tactics to hook up with you? Maybe… juuuust maybe if you hadnt been such a "Im too good for you" type of person then this type of shit wouldnt be happening to you. (should I say "DUH" now or is that common knowledge at this point?!) Also, Jesse I have a question for you but Ill put that on my next post. 1 last thing before I end this one though… I truly was a good, nice guy, not the bitch boy mind you, but I still treated my gfs with dignity, equality, & respect. I treated them like women rather than little girls, like an equal rather than my little sub-serviant slave bitch (ie: "Hey honey will you get me a drink/sandwich/pipe & slippers etc…) & still I was fucked over for complete douchebags who ended up destroying them emotionally/mentally & sometimes physically. WHY?! why the fuck would you choose that over being treated with respect? But since they did & thats ALL Im seeing today then fuck it… If its a douchebag asshole that treats them like theyre a subserviant piece of shit that they want then I guess its time to say goodbye to who I really am & become the uncaring dick they flock to. Thank you Jesse for helping me & other guys like me who, even if we really dont want to be this way, are now able to figure out how to get these dumbshit whores to stop treating us like crap. Now we'll see how they like it! & yes I know how much of an asshole I am per this post but if it wasnt for ALL of you lying/thieving/cheating slut whores who just lead guys along till you fuck them over I & many others wouldnt HAVE to be this way. You females dug your own grave with this shit & now you dont like it?! Well tough shit!
In my above statement I meant to say In the case of A* not B as B was not fucked & chucked I simply got the hint & walked away. My bad for putting the B in the place of A. The A types are the ones I either walk away from or try to fuck & chuck.
Some dumb-ass tried negging me the other night, but I saw right through him. I wasn’t ignoring him or being an arrogant bitch, just politely flirting with him. He must have mistaken my modesty for low self-esteem. Negging doesn’t work on a smart girl who knows she’s a 10 and too good for you. All you’ll ever get this way is a dumb girl who’s as cheap and easy and vulnerable as you pathetic losers. It’s not a compliment to be hit on by a tactless, desperate man-whore, it’s an insult. Only after I caught on to his game, that’s when I started ignoring him and he had the nerve to call me “shy.” Yeah right. It’s called having self-respect and standards. I’m so glad I’m me.
If a woman treats you like shit and ignores you, you men are the ones getting what you deserve. Don’t blame us for learning that the only way to get you to leave us alone is to not acknowledge your presence. If a woman so much as discusses the weather with you, you think it’s a sexual invitation. If she rebuffs your advances after talking with you, you think she’s a tease who was leading you on and you hold it against her, instead of taking the conversation for what it was–a conversation. So why would a woman engage with you in the bare minimum of polite conversation when you think she’s a whore for being polite?
If a woman tells you coyly she doesn’t dance, she’s trying to let you down easy and save you the embarrassment of a blunt rejection. So take the hint and back off and let her make the next move. Give her the credit of knowing what she does and doesn’t want. Don’t go on to attempt more explicit advances as if she was just too dense to recognize your earlier, more subtle ones. If a girl starts ignoring you, it’s not because she’s a bitch who hates nice guys, it’s because you refused to acknowledge her subtle refusals and kept on making advances. A woman who’s had to put up with men like you has learned that you’ll never accept anything less than an insult for “no.”
Here’s a piece of advice for impressing high-class women. The first refusal is a test to see if you can respect her as a grown woman who knows what she does and doesn’t want. She’s testing if you have the self-confidence to accept refusal gracefully. She’s testing if you’re not some power-hungry control freak who can’t let a woman do the pursuing. When she refuses you the first time, no matter how subtly, respect that and give her space, but still be friendly with her and don’t act all butt-hurt, ignore her, neg her, or insult her intelligence by being more forward and making more advances. What she really wants is for you to let her make the next move. If you can do that, the first refusal need not be a rejection.
Also, if you go around flirting with and sucking face with every other girl at a party in order to try to show how desirable you are before hitting on the 10, and brag to her about how experienced you are, it doesn’t impress her. It only cheapens you and makes her lose respect for you. Don’t you lose respect for a woman who does the same? The key to understanding women is to understand men. We’re the same species, after all.
Except for one thing. There’s one real difference between men and women. I can’t understand the enjoyment you get out of “fucking and chucking.” What perverse pleasure do you get out of using someone you don’t appreciate? It must be because men see sex as a conquest. Men are so easy, there’s no victory in it for a female. I bet that makes you feel powerful as men, but here’s the truth behind it. Men need pussy in order to feel validated as men. Women don’t need cock for validation. That’s why you hate us so. And that’s why negging only works on vulnerable little girls. If you have to resort to negging, you’re a little boy who’s given up on yourself completely as a man worthy of a woman and are only looking out for revenge. I pity you.
Nice guy. HA! That’s what men call themselves when they’re too socially inept to even realize how much of a jerk they really are. The only one you’re fooling is you.
YAWN.
The idea that you need to “take women down a peg” because getting rejected just hurts so much is pathetic.
The difference? You’re *walking up to a woman* to insult her in order to fuck her. When a guy is rejected – he’s initiating contact.
When I walk away from a guy or don’t give him the time of day, it’s for two reasons:
1. I just want to be left alone and I get called a “bitch” if I try to say this. So I just don’t say anything.
2. The guy was creepy and I felt threatened. Shut up if you don’t take that seriously, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten bruises in clubs from people grabbing my ass. It’s not a joke.
That being said – if someone was actively talking to me and said something about my roots showing, I’d honestly probably just laugh and insult them back. Because I’m a grown up and can handle playfulness.
But that’s only if the intention is playful.
If your intention is to knock women down a peg to fuck them – you’re pathetic. End of story.
This whole article is ridiculous and a waste of time. This “technique” appeals to the insecure male because it is a way of reestablishing dominance, a trait that is so inherent to the social construct of masculinity. It’s truly pathetic that the males reading this article, who actually take it seriously, are so obviously incapable of separating their own identities from the socially prescribed gender roles in which they are so inadequate.
I am not responding to this article because I am afraid I will be “negged” and I’m not responding to feel some weird gratification from “latching on to a cause”. I’m responding to this article because it is blatantly sexist and misogynistic and it is horrifying that the author and a large portion of the male readers are denying this.
This “negging” concept makes me thankful I’m an asexual lesbian.
Ha – the last time I was negged, I kicked the guy in the knee. He didn’t do it again.
Negging is for homos
You say that average-looking girls will never be neg’d outside of a nightclub? Then you’ve never been on the receiving end of a guy who learns how to neg a girl from a website called ‘Seduction Science.com’ and then goes out to try to pick up women in this way.
Men who need to be told how to approach women who are ’8s, 9s or 10s’ are going to use that approach everywhere on every woman, and they’re going to use it because it’s advertised as ‘a foolproof way to get a woman’s attention’.
Former bouncer from a strip club, and I’ll give you an honest perspective about good looking women by working with them.
You men are disgusting. There are so many women I’ve worked with that don’t deserve this. Let’s put this in perspective…say something decided to give you a backhand insult, because you weren’t giving them what they wanted. Maybe all of you justifying behaving like this aren’t really nice men after wards. Also, saying it’s alright, because “she wouldn’t give me a chance”. Have you ever stopped to think that she didn’t give you a chance because of your terrible attitude?
Once you actually get to know them as people beyond “WOW. NICE RACK” you’ll understand how ridiculous your whining is. Also, your have a deluded perception of yourself if you truly believe women don’t date you, because you’re just so nice.
Thank you for this comment. I wonder where all of these men that believe stuff like the above article come from? I live in NYC and sometimes the club scene and the way men act in there make me want to cry. I like to “go out” with my friends sometimes – not for sexual reasons (though that would be fine), but because I really like being with my friends and I want to live life to its fullest and enjoy people’s company, dancing, good food and drinks, art, and basically all that the city has to offer. I have a boyfriend who I’m deeply in love with and who I will probably marry one day. Yet, whenever I go out to clubs or bars with my girlfriends, it’s a bit absurd what certain (not all) men expect. The way they try to speak to you, the nausea-inducing “compliments” that are basically like saying “hi I’m slimy and am interested in emotionless bad sex for status purposes,” and the continuous objectification and coercion is ridiculous. And people are completely undeterred when you say that you have a boyfriend, or are in a serious relationship – quite the opposite! If anything, it makes this sort more “persistent.” Or they decide to start insulting my boyfriend who they have never met. Of course, not all men, nor all men at clubs, are like that. But those who are really make it a pain for those of us just trying to have a good time without having to be on the defense.
Why do you need this method? Can you just not handle that some women genuinely do not want to be with you? Because I’m sorry boys, but I have some news for you– no woman has to be attracted to you. You aren’t ENTITLED to have a woman sleep or be with you, and those who otherwise would will more likely than not be absolutely turned off by you being a manipulative jerk just to get them in bed.
So let me ask you all this– if a woman, beautiful or not (which is a stupid thing to say, because a woman’s value is not in her physical appearance, if that’s all you’re looking at, you don’t deserve to have a woman in the first place) approached you and began to passive-aggressively insult you, clearly in the name of damaging your self-esteem so you’d sleep with them, would you feel appreciated? Would you feel like you were being treated with respect? No. You wouldn’t.
“Negging Women – 10 Awesome Negs That Work”
(TW Sexism)
So, if you don’t feel like reading the article (I don’t blame you), this is basically a guide to tearing down womens’ self-esteem so they want to date/sleep with you. This approach is called “negging” which is just another abusive behavior that’s been glamorized.
”To her guy friends, “So what’s special about this one.””
”“You know, your body language is all closed off. It makes you look like one of those newborns I saw on the discovery channel when they came out of the womb – all curled up.””
At this point, if you’re not seriously doubting this guy’s dating advice (I mean really, who takes advice from someone who thinks comparing someone to a newborn is suave??) he goes on to justify his use of negging. Apparently (according to this dudebro)
”Everyone wants to be liked. Everyone wants approval. No one wants to be ignored. The same holds true for beautiful women – even more so. Their whole reality is based on having power and having acceptance and adoration through their good looks. Take that away and their whole reality crumbles and they’ll do anything to get it back.”
There are so many things wrong with this.
1: Just because you find her attractive doesn’t mean that she’s shallow and her entire world revolves around her looks.
2: Sometimes, yes, people do want to be ignored. If you’re walking up to strangers and insulting them, there’s a good chance that they would prefer you ignored them.
3: The fact that you think it’s acceptable to destroy someone’s self-esteem to the point that they’ll “do anything to get it back” is disgusting and terrifying.
“ Negging women is ideal for really hot girls – 8s, 9s, and 10s. For an average girl (6s, 7s), you don’t want to use value zingers. All you need to do is demonstrate social value – you don’t need to lower hers. Hers wasn’t that high to begin with.”
RUDE. Like women are so obviously numbers on a scale. Look buddy, just because you think someone is a “6” (whatever that entails) doesn’t mean someone else doesn’t see her as a “10”. Also, you have absolutely no way of knowing her self-esteem and ”social value” and trying to lower anyone’s is gross.
Then, he tried to justify himself to the women who were (understandably) upset.
”So please girls, if a guy told you that you had lint in your hair and that would “cut you down” or would “crush you”, and your ego is THAT fragile, then don’t go to night clubs!! After all, the guys have to deal with MUCH WORSE from you girls!”
Or, (and this is a little out there, stay with me) you could try NOT hitting on women who are clearly just there to have fun with their friends and don’t want to talk to you! And if you have feelings that can be hurt by random insults, don’t go to clubs! Or bars! Or anywhere fun really, because this author seems to think that going out and having fun = open invitation for harassment.
“So if you’re a normal-looking girl with a normal attitude, you probably will NEVER BE NEGGED in your life. So for crying-out-loud, don’t worry about it.”
Oh good, now he’s implying harassment is a compliment. It just keeps getting better and better.
And then, we get to the source of all of his hatred of women:
”Negs are for those glamour girls that have been spoiled all their lives by Daddy and have little sense of reality (like Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton for example). These are the types of girls that enjoy shooting “nice guys” down. It’s THAT kind of girl that negs are designed to attract.”
Oh. Now it makes sense. He thinks that he can clearly tell, just by glancing at someone, their entire sense of reality, their self-esteem, their childhood AND their source of income. Gee, that’s not presumptuous at all. And he also seems to think that, when he’s been turned down by a girl, it’s not because he was being rude, or she didn’t want to be hit on, or she just wasn’t interested, or anything reasonable. No, he thinks it’s because he was just too nice.
The TL;DR? Yet another Nice Guy™ thinks women owe him something. Hooray.
This is one of the most horrific things I’ve ever read. This is actually an excellent example of a product and behavior within rape culture, and something I think I will link to when referring to the term in the future. Aside from that, one: it’s sad that some men would have such little self and social awareness as to think they need to degrade themselves to try to conform to some type of severely outdated concept of hierarchical, coercive “masculinity.” Two, men, even if this “technique” “worked,” you should feel ashamed that you only “got” a woman by insulting and verbally abusing her. Why would you want to begin a relationship that way? You should instead feel bad for any person who only responds to abuse and insult. That’s sad, not something to celebrate. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for 2 years now. He’s an astrophysicist who works for NASA and a certain Ivy League university. We met in a cafe where he was programming coordinates to remotely position a radiotelescope from his laptop, and I was completing a fellowship where I was translating a digital picture of a medieval illuminated manuscript for a particular museum. I don’t remember who initiated the conversation, but I’m so happy it happened. We’re absolutely in love, and one of the reasons I love him so much is because he is the most kindest and respectful person I have ever met, who even at my worst times or most stressful times (like now, as I’m applying to joint JD-PhD programs), has been incredibly supportive and uplifting regarding who I am as a person. Likewise, I am as such for him while he’s working on grant funding applications and the like. In short: love and relationships come about by two people actually *relating* and supporting each other. Whatever the fuck “negging” is, you guys just sound like rapists and I’d be entirely uncomfortable speaking with anyone who thought in such a manner.
Also, men who are reading this and who actually think it’s a good idea, here’s a question I will pose to you: are you constantly rejected romantically by women? If so, like with other external “symptoms,” it’s probably a sign of an underlying “cause.” Instead of reading trash like this, you should probably wonder *why* you’ve been having difficulties.
Do you have confidence and self-esteem? Do you care about various phenomenon in the world? Do you like connecting with others? Do you have a developed sense of empathy (If you believe any of this above article is a “good idea,” I’d assume “no”)? Do you think you’re interesting to talk to in the way you currently present yourself? Are you looking for a partner for the right reasons? Are you happy with yourself and with your current paths (career, academic, personal, etc)? How do you approach women – do you talk to them as people, or as *women?* Talking so someone as an “other” is a sure way to make them not want to speak to you. When you speak to them, what are you speaking about? Does it seem like you’re just trying to talk to someone because she’s female with nothing more behind it, or is it because of some type of common interest or something you’re genuinely curious about? (i.e.: politics, science, fitness, food, etc).
In short, if you really are truly routinely “rejected,” try questioning what you even mean by “rejected.” Likewise, look at yourself and where you think you can improve yourself, honestly evaluating who you are and how you come off. Don’t act like a child who can’t take any responsibility or self-reflection.
I clicked on this article out of curiosity…I find it hilarious that the list of comments is bigger than the article.
Jesse likes ranking girls on a scale of 1-10. Well, poor Jesse is only about a “five” — at best. I wouldn’t even notice him out in a social situation.