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You can also lower a girl’s social value in relation to yours with quick lines by negging women.
Here are some examples of negging women:
For a girl with a belly shirt: “Did your shirt shrink in the laundry?”
“Your roots are showing.”
“Your nose is a little red. You’re like an Eskimo. Cool.”
“You know, you look just like my little sister. Weird.”
Effect of a neg on a hot girl illustrated
“You know, I like that outfit you’ve got on… but I don’t know… your shoes don’t really match. You should have gone with tan boots…”
To her guy friends, “So what’s special about this one.”
If she’s talking tell her friends, “So do you guys ever get a word in edge wise?”
“Hey… you look like that cartoon character… yeah that’s right, Rainbow Brite remember her?”
“I like your eyes. Hey… are you wearing colored contacts??? (before she can answer) Oh my god, no way, you are…”
“You know, your body language is all closed off. It makes you look like one of those newborns I saw on the discovery channel when they came out of the womb – all curled up.”
“Hey, you’re a goof.”
By negging women, you’ve indicated to her that you’re not interested in her over anyone else in the group. This is a new thing for her. She’ll feel the bitter sting of being just like everyone else. Her looks no longer give her all the power – because you’re not responding to her looks.
Because you’re demonstrating social value to the group at the same time she’s wondering, “Why isn’t this guy attracted to me? Why isn’t this guy paying attention to me? Who is this guy? How am I going to win this guy’s attention?”
Everyone wants to be liked. Everyone wants approval. No one wants to be ignored. The same holds true for beautiful women – even more so. Their whole reality is based on having power and having acceptance and adoration through their good looks. Take that away and their whole reality crumbles and they’ll do anything to get it back.
Negging women is ideal for really hot girls – 8s, 9s, and 10s. For an average girl (6s, 7s), you don’t want to use value zingers. All you need to do is demonstrate social value – you don’t need to lower hers. Hers wasn’t that high to begin with.
Negging women is unnecessary and inappropriate to use on girls who are already being friendly or giving you green lights. Don’t throw one out of the blue for no reason at a girl who is already responding well.
But if she’s super hot and you’ve just met her, that’s a different story. Use a neg or two on her.
Now, it’s critical to use negs right. Remember, you’re not out to damage the girl’s self confidence or put her down. You’re not out to mess up her self-esteem. Some guys in particular cross the line and start throwing soft insults and treating women like second-class human beings when they don’t deserve it.
The point is to make yourself stand out as socially valuable male and a challenge, not to make her feel bad. But used correctly, negging women is a powerful tool in your arsenal.
Update From The Author
I noticed that my post on negging “Negging Women – 10 Awesome Negs That Work” has drawn a lot of negative comments from women.
I understand the blowback. I understand where some of you girls are coming from. You see negging as a form of bullying or insults.
And most women are pretty sensitive to the idea of it, based on being bullied in real life.
Most women, particularly in high school, were teased, gossiped about, or bullied in some fashion – and usually from other women. Pretty girls especially face negativity from their female friends, as pretty girls tend to hang in “pretty social circles” where there’s a lot of superficial cattiness, backstabbing, and competition.
Or even if you’ve never been bullied or teased yourself, you’ve seen the devastating effect it had on your classmates. So naturally, you feel sympathy.
But anger at ‘negging’ is misplaced.
First, we are talking about a night club environment. There’s lots of REJECTION involved, inherent to the environment.
And most of the rejection is aimed at the GUYS.
Haven’t either you or one of your friends ever ignore a guy? Like, not even acknowledge his presence when he tried to talk to you.
It’s often pretty CRUSHING to the guy’s self-esteem that he isn’t given 10 seconds to acknowledge he’s another human being to talk to and say “hello”. Ignoring a guy completely is much crueler than any neg a guy would dish. (Like, “Hey girl! You have some lint in your hair… look at that.”)
Then again, it’s a night club. If a guy’s ego is so fragile, he shouldn’t go.
So please girls, if a guy told you that you had lint in your hair and that would “cut you down” or would “crush you”, and your ego is THAT fragile, then don’t go to night clubs!! After all, the guys have to deal with MUCH WORSE from you girls!
In addition, Negs are for those glamour girls that have been spoiled all their lives by Daddy and have little sense of reality (like Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton for example). These are the types of girls that enjoy shooting “nice guys” down. It’s THAT kind of girl that negs are designed to attract.
So if you’re a normal-looking girl with a normal attitude, you probably will NEVER BE NEGGED in your life. So for crying-out-loud, don’t worry about it.
Further consider that 99.9% of guys are SO damn nervous in clubs and bars that they can’t even approach a girl without wetting their briefs… let alone finding the balls to neg a pretty girl.
So don’t worry, it’s statistically unlikely to ever happen to you, even if you DO look like a runway model. Most guys will never approach you, or they’ll just try to kiss your ass to get into your pants. And that’s SO much better than those bad boys, right?
But since those guys are NOT a challenge in the slightest, they’re not attractive to you. That’s why you blow them off.
That’s what a neg does – creates a challenge to the female. That’s what attractive guys do. And ANY guy you’ve ever fallen for, on some level, you had to chase HIM. Every single guy you ever had a crush on made YOU chase HIM.
I know it’s simple to latch onto a cause, leave a comment, and feel like you’re serving justice in some small way by taking a stand against the 1 in 10,000 guys that have the balls to neg a girl like, “Hey girl! It’s funny how your nose wiggles when you talk!” But really, it’s an empty cause!
P.S. If you still disagree with this assessment, please leave a comment, I welcome all opinions!
~ Jesse
Sexual Mind Control - How to Make Girls Wet With Your Eyes...
...By Hijacking A "Glitch" In The Female Brain. Click hereYou May Also Like..
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Hmm, never thought it could be like this…. very strange
Okay okay…. I hope this reaches as many of you as possible (before it gets deleted). The ideas above were cooked up by a group of guys who had there egos severely damaged through high school and college and the article was just written by some guy who wanted to make a quick dollar.
It may be fun to get back at girls and show them you dont need them but thats all this really is. Its not horrible but it doesnt help much with “get girls”. Im not even sure that there overall goal with these is to become closer to any girl. However, if your goal isnt to get with girls than this stuff will provide for some good entertainment.
Im not gonna say they totally dont work but im letting you guys know that this isnt really going to help you. Im guessing that if you landed on this page you either are trying to win over a girl in your class or be a better conversationalist during the day. These tactics are definitely not for that. These were meant for the high energy club environment and even then you get what you want.
Im thinking you want girls to like you or to get that one girl to give you the time of day. My advise is to use common sense. Actually look inside and put yourself in there shoes and ask how you would be feeling in her situation. That should shed some light on how you would like to treat women in the future. Also it doesnt hurt to through in a little courage.
Nice comment. For a desperate disillusioned guy.
You’re never going to get laid ever.
Sweet
Wow. To all the people thinking this guy is never gonna get laid, PLEASE REALIZE THAT HE’S RIGHT. Women don’t ever enjoy being put down, and that’s what negging is no matter how you look at it. I’m a model, so I know what being pretty feels like, and guess what? Pretty girls don’t like assholes.
Pretty girls IGNORE “nice guys”.
Pretty girls at least RESPOND to ass-holes.
The “nice guy” over in the corner who is “very nice” gets the “let’s just be friends” treatment.
Negging works. Girls may not like it in the moment they hear the neg, but they’re reacting and responding.
Tension and attraction are very similarly related.
Dude, girls don’t like self proclaimed “nice guys” because they aren’t actually nice. They are the “assholes” whom they themselves despite. If you pretend to be a lady’s friend to get into her pants, you are not being nice. Women don’t want “assholes” OR “nice guys”, they want real people. Trying to sort men into those two categories just makes you look silly and bitter, but mostly it makes it look like you have no experience with women (though its probably not the case).
Shan, typical feminist hate-speech rhetoric. Peddle your propaganda elsewhere, you’ve been exposed here.
The Truth… what an unfitting name. You are proof that there are people who still haven’t evolved from the “Hit woman in head with club and drag to cave” era.
This site is a spoof. Nobody thinks this “advice” would work. It’s just fun.
So you’ve tried it then? Please do share your results.
Yeah, the article is way too cliche to be real. The edit, ooooh man ><
I had a guy do this to me because he thought I was playing hard to get and I’m genuinely a really nice person but I eventually shouted at him in front of his friends and walked off.
One of his friends, who was also my friend, came up to me afterwards and apologised on his behalf after explaining everything.
I’d advise ALL guys who want to get a nice girl NOT to pull this.
Anna, he did it wrong then. Negs are to be used very sparingly and used PLAYFULLY, and only on really closed-off women that only ever get positive attention from men. They’re meant to give a woman that’s always being chased that opportunity to need to chase the man’s approval – which feels exhilarating to a woman who has never felt she needed to chase a man before and only seen it in the movies. Your friend may have done neg after neg in a serious manner. This is a common mistake. But it doesn’t invalidate their effectiveness when used in the proper place and proper manner.
I’d like to admit that this would work on me…….yes!
but only if the guy was prettier than me, I mean really gorgeous.
I’ve had problems talking to women my entire life, before I discovered this technique by chance. I’m actually sad to say it, but it does work most of the time. It’s hard for me to feel sorry for using the technique since 9 out of 10 times in the past when I’ve approached women in a polite and friendly way to say hello and introduce myself, it’s seems there immediate response is to insult me. All this technique does is bring them down to your level before they stamp you into the ground. If your a woman and you’ve been seduced in this way by guys, been used and left to call a cab then maybe next time you should be nice to the nice guy.
So you like to talk to women who are jerks, and you have no trouble being a jerk yourself. Whichever one came first, get out of that cycle.
For pretty teenagers in particular, you should realize that their self-esteem is just as fragile as any other teenager and they get victimized by jerks regularly. Some get to believe most men are jerks. When you try to “bring them down to your level” you are simply projecting onto them the responsibility for the rejection you have felt before, and acting like a bully by trying to shame them in front of their friends. They will stand up to you in person, but they will be crying at home and feeling worthless. No one deserves that.
Don’t be a jerk. Do something positive instead. Volunteer at an old age home or Habitat for Humanity or something and invite nice people to volunteer as well. Invite them to come up to your level instead of trying to bring people down to yours by hurting them.
Negs aren’t about “bringing girls down to your level”.
It’s to show a girl that you’re attracted to her, but can also walk away from her. That you’re taking action to talk to her, but that she needs to do the chasing. For really hot girls that get lavished with attention by “nice guys” who do nothing but kiss their ass, getting a neg is very refreshing because she realizes that the guy won’t kiss her ass just to get into her pants.
JesseCharger: So instead of kissing her ass to get into her pants you insult her to get into her pants. In any case you’re just trying to get laid but now thinking you are doing a favor to her to boost your ego.
http://www.xkcd.com/1027/
I have nothing to add to this.
well played anonymous…
That comic was what brought me here! So good!
Same here!
Wow, what a load of crap. Assuming “hot” girls must have really high self esteem and need to be crushed before you can approach them is just sad. In my experience pretty girls are just as insecure as everyone else, so why insult them? Being a nice person and treating women like human beings can really work wonders, you don’t have to put us down.
Negs are not about “crushing” the girls self-esteem. Please read the article and comments before you rush to making judgments.
Not to say that this might not work, but…why would you NEED this? …Seriously, if you’re so sure she’s “out of your league…” work on yourself. Then she won’t be, and hey, you’ll suck less in the process.
eg: I’m a goddamn 6′ 3″ biochemist with no kids that does cycling marathons and grows orchids. *No woman* is out of my league. (Disclaimer: I’m not rich and a drive a practical car that gets good gas mileage. These are fine: I’m not out for gold diggers, and neither should you be.)
Good comment Newt. Yep, it’s not recommended to be used on most girls, and completely optional to throw in at all. You don’t need negs to get girls. Something to play with only if it suits you, and girls will respond.
Oh lord. So you try to find something about a woman that can be used to diminish her or in some way doubt her self-worth?
…
You’re the type of guy who has chopped up bits of women stuffed in the truck of his car, aren’t you?
Misogyny is FUCKING STUPID AND EVIL. It’s not “playful”. It’s not “clever”. And if you don’t think this shit is misogynistic, fer chrissakes, please take yourself out of the gene pool.
Thank goodness my fiance builds me up instead of tearing me down…or I wouldn’t be marrying him.
A neg is used once on a girl at the beginning on an interaction. That’s it. It’s not used in relationships.
A guy would only “use negs” on *specific* girls (hot girls that are used to having their asses kissed) at a nightclub when they FIRST MEET and would NOT be negging YOU in a marriage relationship.
Cool tip to get girls to like you:
talk to them like a person instead of a challenge
get to know them
point out interests you have in common
be willing to explore new things
Man, so difficult.
Haha it’s so funny how the “pickup artist” still thinks this works despite all the negative responses from women he’s getting!
Why can’t a guy just be confident in himself instead of relying on bringing her down “if she’s super hot and you’ve just met her”? Don’t use a fucking “neg or two on her.” Fucking talk to her like anyone else would and good lord if you’re an interesting person that she’s attracted to, maybe she’ll agree to a date.
Man this article says that negs aren’t out to put girls down but that’s essentially what it is – put-downs and masked insults in order to make up for a guy’s lack of self confidence.
Any putdown, no matter how pretty it looks, is an asshole move to use to “pick up women.”
Know what I hate? Shallow guys with no confidence.
Get a life! Stop manipulating people and start treating them like human beings.
Jane, thanks for your input.
But actually LOOK at the negs… they’re said PLAYFULLY with a smile and they’re clearly not “insults”.
“Your nose is a little red. You’re like an Eskimo. Cool.”
“You know, you look just like my little sister. Weird.”
“Pretty girls don’t like assholes.”
Laughed at that one. Women love assholes, the nice guys are for later, after they’ve slept with all the badboys, and need someone to take care of their mistakes.
Negging = random douchebaggery. What woman wants some random dude walking up to her and making some unsolicited comment about her appearance? Only the dumb ones, which seems to be what you’re after. Congratulations, you’ve proved the stereotype that men only want easy sex from stupid girls.
I see a lot of ppl here not knowing the difference between “there” and “their”…. how do you pretend to pick up a girl if u don’t even know how to fucking write??
I haven’t seen any spelling mistakes on here of ‘there’ and ‘their’
Besides, people have been having sex and attracting for thousands of years, way before the written word. That a man (or a woman) has to be a spelling-B nerd when he’s jotting off a quick comment – and that has anything related to attracting the opposite sex – makes no sense.
It’s pretty cool when I get other opinions and disagreements from my own. But this was just plain dumb.
I read all the comments so far…
I have only 1 question in my head right now , ” WTF?”
You dont have to use neg’s all the time! You just use it 1-2 times. Neg’s have improven my game ever sience i discovered them. And asking women opinion is pointless. They will always tell that it’s rude and so on…
Pointless to argue with them. Only thing matters is that we know it’s working.
Pointless to ask women, its not like they are involved at all right?
“And ANY guy you’ve ever fallen for, on some level, you had to chase HIM. Every single guy you ever had a crush on made YOU chase HIM.”
“Pretty girls IGNORE ‘nice guys’.
Pretty girls at least RESPOND to ass-holes.
The ‘nice guy’ over in the corner who is ‘very nice’ gets the ‘let’s just be friends’ treatment.”
This sounds like a classic case of Nice Guy syndrome to me. Being nice to girls simply in order to get laid and then getting angry that you don’t is just…invalid. I’m gonna give you an applicable quote. “Friendzoning is bullshit because girls are not machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.”
So, no, being nice to a girl will not always get her to be attracted to you. The simple fact is, some girls will not ever be attracted to you. It’s not necessarily because she’s standoffish, a bitch, spoiled because she’s been pretty her whole life, or along those lines. You could try acting like a mature human being and recognize that ladies are equal human beings with their own emotions and ideas, and then the fact that some of them don’t want to have sex with you might not be so unbearable.
Not all girls like guys who treat them like shit. Saying anything along those lines is a gross generalization, and maybe it’s this disgustingly sohpomoric mindset that’s led you to have to resort to this kind of behaviour.
You do not know what every woman wants. Women are all different people, not carbon-copied brains put into different bodies.
Personally speaking, “negging” is not something that would make me more attracted to someone. First of all, it’s obvious as shit, which just makes you look 1. awkward, 2. desperate, and 3. fake.
People who are honest and genuine are attractive to me. People with sexist mindsets who use mysoginistic advice in some attempt to get with me are the furthest thing from attractive.
Accept that some girls don’t want to have sex with you, because I guarantee you there are others who do.
And for the record, every boyfriend I’ve ever had and been extremely attracted to has not made me chase them, and the really meaningful relationships I’ve had have been exclusively with “nice guys”. I do not respond to assholes; I ignore them and walk away. Arrogance and general douchebaggery are complete turn-offs; I don’t like it and certainly will not respond to it.
Relationships and sex are not one-way streets, they are mutual give-and-take.
Anyways, if a girl is not willing to be with you unless you say stupid and mildly offensive things to her, she probably has many underlying emotional issues and is not really worth pursuing something with at that time. If you’re looking for a one night stand, maybe that doesn’t matter (though even in that situation, I’d still reject someone for implementing this advice), but this advice seems to be nonspecific to that situation with your comments quoted above.
To recap, not all girls are the same, friendzoning is bullshit, and you’re awfully sexist.
Can we change this article so that it is this post instead?
Tell me, how is life going with your 60 cats? Don’t be angry that guys want to chase pretty girls over you.
Do you realise you totally contradicted yourself in this essay write-up you call a comment?
”Some girls will never be attracted to you”? I take it you’re still a teenager(early 20′s tops) and so haven’t grown past liking people by their looks or ‘acts’.
careyexboy, “some girls will never be attracted to you” is not a shallow or irrational thing to say. No man, no matter how smooth his “game”, will achieve a 100% success rate with females.
This is a complex topic!! First of all, I noticed the people that said “pretty girls don’t like assholes” and “this is a good indication of low self esteem” and “this will never work” were from women. I would say that hot women don’t WANT to want assholes, but how many times does that end up being the case? The truth: if you go to a given club and be polite to girls, you will PROBABLY fail. For example, I went to a club last year and kept track of my success the whole night. My pickup line was “hey, how’s it going?” 6 out of 9 girls that night didn’t even make eye contact with me. Then again, there are other places in which very simple, nice guy lines will work. I don’t really want to have success with a club girl anyway because they are superficial, in most cases.
With regard to negging, I would say that some lines shouldn’t be said, for example, the nose line. I use techniques like this, but I ALWAYS make sure I make fun of something she has control over, such as something funny she said. Ex: “Are you serious? I thought people stopped saying that in the 90′s!” I have found that it lightens the mood and it’s just a joke. The truth is, good looking women constantly have guys all over them, some of which are very creepy, and the worst thing you can do is sound like all of the other guys when you approach her. I’m not sure how many guys say this stuff, but when a hot girl can tell you’re not just idolizing her for her looks or etc, she is way more likely to respond. In this case, this is treating her like a human!!!!!!! When you do the opposite and treat her like she is worth more than you just because of her looks, you are doomed to fail. And ladies, I would be willing to bet that you don’t like it when a guy treats you like a goddess just because of your body or looks. People want to be liked for the things they have control over!!
But above all else, be interesting, funny, genuine, and try to have an intelligent conversation with her.
Thanks for the thoughtful comments sky
Nice comment!
Clubs are the worst place to find girls. Seriously. Plus half the girls there are just after a good time with their friends, and don’t want to be picked up by strangers. So there’s that..
This is sexist as fuck and y’all stupid.
The funny part is they’ll never realise what they’re doing wrong, and thus never learn. They will become bitter and “blame the wimins” for rejecting them, as you can see in the hilarious update.
Misogyny just isn’t hot. End of story…
Misandry isn’t hot, and you probably aren’t either.
Lol, this was hilarious. Especially the part where you complain about women saying it was bad advice. So SO much projecting. This is way too serious to be a troll, sadly. Your update has shown once and for all you have no idea how women work (hint: its no different to men). *snorts* oh man… the bit where you try to equate it to high school bullying, as if you actually understand how teenage girls act… and the bit where you complain that women only date assholes? You’re a walking cliche. I change my mind, you must be a troll. No one embodies the down trodden “nice guy” more perfectly.
Here’s a better idea. Don’t try to be something you’re not. If you are acting, how on earth will you ever be comfortable around women? Treat people the way you want to be treated, and look for women who you have something in common with. If you ever want a real relationship you’ll look for a woman who can be your best friend as well.
Wow, pretty bitter about the whole thing aren’t we?
You can hee and haw about it all you want (as you posted no less than 7 comments calling me a ‘troll’… way to go backing up your opinions by getting dirty and throwing mud), but it doesn’t change the fact the guys use negs because they work. This has been field-tested extensively. It’s just fact. What do you want me to do about it, tell everyone little white lies to make you feel better?
Sorry that the world doesn’t march to your fantasy of how you wish it to be.
And hurling insults at the messenger doesn’t change the facts about what works.
Negging is not cute. It won’t make a girl like you. It will just make you look like an asshole.
OK… hot chick here. Not supermodel hot, but I have done some modeling, and I do have to turn down at 3 (misguided) men a day. Here are some quick tips.
1: All this is bullshit. Women never react positively to negativity. Hot chicks, the kind this article seems to be aimed towards, are CONSTANTLY offered favors, free shit, sex with hot guys, etc. Why the FUCK would you choose someone who’s being a dick over someone who’s handing you free alcohol? Would you do that? No? Neither would a woman.
2: There is about 1/3 of 1 chromosome difference between men and women. The easiest way to get a woman to like you is to engage in a conversation with her and show that you’re listening. Restate the things she says as if it were the first line in an essay test. This shows that you are not a douchebag, and will get her to lower her guard.
3: Be very careful that while doing this, you instigate a lot of touching. Brush up against her arm or move her hair out of her face. If she doesn’t recoil, you’re on the right track. This shows that while compassionate, you are trying to get laid, rather then stuck in the dreaded “friend zone”. This is VERY IMPORTANT. If you don’t flirt physically, she might not pick up on it.
4: And that’s really it. If you go to any sociology or psychology site, like APA.org or Psychinfo.edu, you’ll see that there work because they’re backed up with 30+ years of research. If they don’t, then you’re simply barking up the wrong tree. Drop it and move on. If you want to do an empirical test, then try the tips this site has given you, watch as you get a drink thrown in your face, then try mine and watch as you get laid.
BTW, being told that you look like Rainbow Brite might work, especially on a rave girl, because Rainbow Brite is hot. I’m not sure anyone would consider that an insult. And, I’m pretty sure that the folk who set this site up are getting a cheap laugh at your failure. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction, myself.
This is terrible. Even with your afterword, this is not okay. This is saying “Hey, want to get into a woman’s pants? DISRESPECT HER. INSULT HER.” This can not be compared with ignoring a man at a nightclub. If a girl wants to ignore a man at a night club, she is welcome to do that. We have a right to not be interested in a man. We are not an object here for your pleasure.
More than one in six women in the United States will be raped in their lifetime. Less than 3% of rapists ever go to jail. I hear about men CASUALLY raping women in night clubs. How can you blame a woman for not wanting to talk to a man, anyways?
So if a guys says to you, “Your nose wiggles when you talk,” because he’s attracted to you, you would take this as an insult? With a stick up your ass like that, good luck ever catching a cool guy.
First, I must point out that the apology regarding the offensive nature of this article misses the mark in quite a few ways
1. “It’s often pretty CRUSHING to the guy’s self-esteem that he isn’t given 10 seconds to acknowledge he’s another human being to talk to and say “hello”.”
This seems to demonstrate a lot of aggression on the negging perpetrator. A woman doesn’t respond to attempts to “pick her up” (perhaps she isn’t interested, perhaps she’s in a relationship, perhaps she just wants a night out with friends). Because the one-negging feel dehumanized, the one-negging feels the need to reciprocate tenfold? How dare she not treat the one-negging like a human being, so now, rather than being the responsible adult, he feels the need to perpetuate this cycle of distrust, hurt, and subsequent aggression?
2. So don’t worry, it’s statistically unlikely to ever happen to you, even if you DO look like a runway model.
You know, I’m not really the kind of person who likes to step aside and allow harmful stereotypes and expectations of BOTH genders to fester and create really awful environments. It shouldn’t be a matter of whether or not this happens to me. It should be a matter that, as respectable human beings, we should all be in support of treating people like respectable human beings.
3. A lot of this hinders around the assumption of being owed attention. “This woman won’t talk to me… How dare she?”
I am not blaming men for this attitude. Both women and men are raised in a culture that teaches that women are a prize, something that the protagonist always wins. We all see ourselves as the protagonist of our own stories– and being denied the attention of something we want is taken as a personal insult, because we feel we are OWED the prize we’ve been promised.
Let’s not perpetuate the cycle. Women are often wary of men in a public setting, in large part because of hearing things like this. Women are told that if some asshole guy does something to them, that it will be their fault. So, many women have guards up. Men will often taken offense to this, because they feel their desires are not being met or considered. The cycle continues, this shitstorm propagates itself.
I think people need to recognize that a desire for someone does not equate necessary satisfaction of that desire. Yes, it’s okay to be bummed (you SHOULD be bummed) but the danger comes in when we refuse to recognize that the other person is an autonomous being with a decision making agent. We ignore that, to get what we want, and that’s dehumanizing in itself.
The problem I see with the whole concept of negging is that it largely enforces the idea of being owed a woman and being owed sex with her simply for being an all around decent fellow, and you don’t murder people, and you hold doors for old ladies at the grocery store, so why the hell shouldn’t women want you?
Being a “Kim Kardashian” type is not an excuse to push your own desires ahead of another person’s autonomy. It is not respectful. It is not useful to anyone’s interests.
And therein lies the problem with this concept– and indeed, with this article.
As respectable human beings with a decent grasp of right and wrong, we should all recognize the inherent flaws within this cycle of attitudes and work to squash it, not perpetuate it.
If a guy can’t pick up a girl without having to drag her through the mud (to his level) then he doesn’t deserve to get laid in the first place. It’s natural selection at its finest.
So I realize that this technique is actually written in dating guides for men, but I don’t think it would work overall–I know it wouldn’t work on me. You say it’s for pretty girls who’ve gotten everything from daddy all their lives…how do you know that when you’re approaching a girl, first of all. You look at her and go oh she’s pretty, she must have gotten stuff handed to her all of her life because she’s pretty. Also, this actually just makes you look like an ass. The only way you’d catch the attention of any girl with this is if you’re really gorgeous. But if you happen to be a good looking man, you wouldn’t NEED this technique to get girls because, odds are, pretty girls are chasing you anyway.
I don’t know whether negging works or not, but if you’re the kind of guy who needs to use it in order to get laid, you’re pretty much worthless.
Read this article: http://www.cracked.com/article_18804_the-6-wrong-questions-men-love-to-ask-about-women.html , it makes some good points.
I love cracked.
Is this article for real? Do you really, honestly think that this type of behaviour is going to get you laid? And I find your comments on the fact that only the women commentors complain about the negging hilarious. ‘Oh, this is an article written by a man, ASSUMING he knows how women work and what makes them tick, and the backlash coming from WOMEN is worthless, because what do they know, right? It’s not like this freaking article is ABOUT THEM AND THEIR RESPONSE or anything.’ Seriously, do you not see how absurd you are? If all these women are telling you ‘Dude, this doesn’t work, and frankly, you’re kind of an asshole.’, then why do you insist on trying to prove them wrong? There’s no way you’re convincing anyone. And those comments about how negging is only for gorgeous women, so we shouldn’t worry, it’s not targetted at us – I’m sorry, but how the hell do you know what we look like? How do you know what we’re like and if we fit your extremely limited view on women? And if you don’t have the confidence to walk up to a pretty girl, then maybe you shouldn’t be hitting on her. Frankly, if you’re a 5, don’t go after a 10, dude. What is up with not-particularly-good-looking-men thinking that they’re entitled to ‘that hot piece of ass’ ‘Maaaan, she’s a solid 9, I’d totally bang her!’ Chances are, no, she will not want to sleep with you. Not if you buy her a drink, not if you kiss her ass all night. Maybe not even if you’re nice, but definitely not if you’re being a fucking ashole. Stop being a self-entitled douchebag and stick with what you can manage, don’t aim for girls out of your league and then come here and complain when you get turned down. That’s the behaviour of a five-year-old. The way you phrased this article makes you sound like you’re out to take some kind of revenge on all the pretty girls who turned you down – which is pathetic and desperate. Not to mention immature. And honestly, if any woman on this planet falls for this crap you wrote here, then she deserves you and the shitty way you treat her.
Another ugly chick complaining that Jesse only gives advice to get HOT girls. LOL
I could go on and on about how you think hot girls consider their looks everything, or how if they don’t get attention from men they flail like a fish out of water, and that these insults, which they are, are just for fun.
But I wont, because it’s not worth it, none of you will listen.
Are you telling me that a not-so-hot-girl could approach a guy and do the same thing? This is a very sexist post and one of the reasons I am a lesbian. If a girl isn’t interested, a girl isn’t interested. You can’t get into every girls pants so deal with it. You don’t own the right to her vagina, and using this technique wont make a difference, if you do this it’s most likely going to just have her slap you, or walk away.
Tell her that she has nice hair. Say something witty, a cool joke, do an ice breaker. Those things work. This? This is bullshit and anyone who uses it should be ashamed of themselves. Girls go through degrading insults and words and speeches every day of their life from the media and they don;t need some guy in the club doing it too.
Thats a bad reason to be a Lesbian.
I had a close female friend of mine who was a model and got “negged” (insulted), all the time. When we were in high-school, so called “Nice guys” would come up and say things like this to her, almost everyday. Than she was the “frigid bitch” when she insulted them back. Listen to me, these, even used playfully, are insulting. Do you really want a girl to come up to you and insult you, about your hair or the way you dress or talk or whatever and then laugh like they just lightened the fucking mood? It doesn’t. I, replay those kind of comments over and over in my head, and they truly upset me and others. Especially, my close girlfriend, since so many guys thought she was untouchable, they apparently thought negging was good way to bring her down a rung, put them on her level or whatever. In truth, these “nice guys” fail to understand, beautiful women (or any woman, for that matter) are not machines that if you put enough niceness in sex/a relationship falls out. Women are, I know this is apparently very hard to believe, are human beings with feelings that get hurt and tastes, which means, yes, some women will not be attracted to you no matter what! I know, I have met men I could only see as friends and would never be more than that with, and I know there are women that my guy-friends have met that they would not want to have a relationship.
I go to nightclubs where I do the bartenders and bouncers and any guy who “negs” me or my friends, especially more than once, gets the boot.
Guys: any girl who suddenly becomes interested in you because you cut her up as your pick-up line is going to be A CRAZY PERSON. You do not want to go there.
HA, I meant I *know* the bouncers. But, yeah, that was also a Freudian slip.: bouncers usually are nice guys and worth “knowing” — because they see lame ass jerks pull this negging crap all the time and they know it doesn’t work on anyone old enough to get into a nightclub.
I’m just saying it how it is. So have fun shooting the messenger – because at the end of the day, that does nothing to change what works in the real world.
Sure, negging works – on people with abysmal self esteem (and you’re absolutely wrong. Looks are NOT a factor in response to this douchebag technique; anyone can have a shitty self-image). So if you don’t mind girls who are doormats, then knock yourself out, I guess. Just know that confident girls can smell this bullshit a mile away.
Oh and the whole “this only works on really hot girls” is just the cherry on the shit sundae. You can defend yourself until you turn blue, broseph, and it doesn’t change the fact that this is still misogynistic as fuck. You are not entitled to a vagina. Actually, you aren’t entitled to shit. No one is.
Another ugly chick pissed over something imaginary in her head that has never happened to her.
Hot girls get this. It’s part of the playful attraction dance.
Misogyny in action ladies and gentlemen (and I use gentlemen deliberately. Any man who uses or supports the of “negging” is not included.)
Girls let’s make it clear:
YOU BETTER BE FUCKABLE AND GORGEOUS. If you aren’t you are a grenade and you deserve to be ignored. You should be grateful if a dude even fucking notices you. SO YOU BETTER BE GORGEOUS *AND* AVAILABLE.
Good. Now that you are within the “fuckable” range of beauty, prepare to be insulted and abused. Because who do you think you are to think you might not find this man attractive? HOW DARE YOU NOT WANT HIS SEXUAL ATTENTION?
Maybe you are a lesbian. Maybe you just want a night out with friends without some asshat hitting on you. Maybe you are actually afraid of being approached by strange men.
WELL TOO FUCKING BAD!
AS A WOMAN IT IS YOUR JOB TO BE FUCKABLE, BEAUTIFUL AND AVAILABLE.
And if you aren’t all three of those, you will get punished. Negging is just punishment for women who are “fuckable” and beautiful but NOT INTERESTED.
And if you are fuckable, beautiful, AND available? God what a whore.
Congrats on being a misogynistic prick Charger.
I would say you’ve risen above the rank and file, but you are so low you’re barely humanoid.
Wow, a few of you girls getting so worked up about lines like, “Your nose wiggles when you talk… that’s so cute!”
You’d think the sky was falling.
And yet you have no problem name calling me “Troll”, “Retarded”, and “Crazy”… I’d say far, far worse than any of the negs I listed in the post.
Way to go – you know how to keep it classy.
Cool story, bro.
So being rejected is ‘much worse’ treatment to receive than being insulted so that a girl will feel more receptive to a guy’s advancements?! Bad news, pal, it is our RIGHT to reject you. Sorry. If a girl isn’t giving you ten seconds to tell her your name, guess what? SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO. She’s under no obligation to hear any person’s offer – being at a bar doesn’t mean she’s looking for a date. I fail to see how that is ‘much worse’ than putting a girl down in front of her friends to lower her ‘social value’ – which is really just an attack on her confidence, no matter what kind of jargon you try to wrap it in.
The fact is, the message that you are suggesting that guys send to girls is “You’re not as great as you think you are so you have no right to reject me.” And that’s sick. Absolutely, completely sick.
I am under no obligation to be nice to you either.
No worries girl. I doubt any guy will mistake you for being a super model to neg. Keep eating the chips and candy bars and dressing in flip flops and you won’t have to worry about any guy coming up to you period.
Well…Then you get the ass-hats that try this on a generally nice girl who may be average looking…or…they take it to far and get a drink dumped on them…Ahem…personal experience there…
I find this very dishonest, and morally questionable.
The bad part is, it works. I know female friends that have fell for it. I have tried it once (regrettably) on someone that is considered me just a friend until I did the back-handed compliments a few times. (A much longer story, but that is the basics.)
The women here, ask yourselves, why does this make you so mad? A sliver of truth perhaps? If I said a great way to pick up women was to walk in on the while they are going to the bathroom and read them poetry, you would most likely blow it off as stupid, because it would never work. But here it seems to have struck a nerve.
It does work, and it is wrong to do.
PS Do you want the ultimate “neg”? Like any other neg, it starts with a compliment and ends on an insult. It is much more effective on men than on woman.
“I think you are a great/awesome person, but let’s just be friends.”
The guy will be after you for at least six months.
Jesse, sounds like you pissed off a bunch of chubby chicks that haven’t a clue about what it takes to attract men. LOL I guarantee that all of these girls have been teased, but NONE of them have been “negged” because the guy was attracted to them (two completely different things) and they’re completely confusing the too.
Keep speaking the truth Jesse.
Negging by Proxy, #27:
“Can you break a twenty? I’d ask your friend, but she looks like she spent it all on accessories / botox / clothes / hair / jewelry / lipo / makeup / manicures / shoes / silicone / whatever.”
Negging by Proxy, #17:
“Sure, she’s cute … but you have a natural beauty that I like.”
(Emphasize the word “natural” … she will want to know what you mean. Be prepared to explain that you think women who obviously put too much effort into their appearance may not put as much effort into their personalities … or their relationships …)