Talking sexy in bed to a woman enhances sex to be more provocative, enticing, and electrifying. It turbo charges the lovemaking.
Think about this. What if you were with a woman and you couldn’t vocalize ANY sounds at all?
Imagine if you couldn’t give the woman any verbal feedback, not even a slight moan. Imagine if you had to be perfectly silent during sex.
Without getting any kind of verbal feedback from you, not only would it be dull, but the women could get confused, have a misunderstanding, and become frustrated.
Sex is as much mental as it is physical. And if you couldn’t even make a sound, sex is not going to be as hot, as passionate, or as steamy. Sound itself is a powerful erotic tool that can heighten her pleasure, magnify her feelings, and intensify her orgasm.
That’s why your voice is so important to the quality of the woman’s experience.
Now most popular books call talking sexy to a woman “sexy talk”. But that’s a weak way to look at it. Rather, it’s better to think of it as “talking dirty” because it’s purpose is to dominantly lead women into sexual submission with your words.
Tip #1: Explosive Sex Is In The Mind, Not The Positions!
The key to becoming a great lover does not lie in ways to stimulate a woman’s body; it lies in ways to stimulate a woman’s mind.
Most sex advice you find in books and popular culture comes from the common misunderstanding that women become aroused mostly through physical techniques like trying different positions. But that’s not true.
Physically stimulating a woman’s body alone is not enough to make you a great lover to her, particularly if she has a lot of mental hang-ups holding her back.
After all, if she can’t let go with her mind to orgasm or experience pleasure, how is simply changing her positions or hitting her g-spot different going to make that much of a difference?
Think about it, good sex is mental.
Try to masturbate and not fantasize at all. You can’t do it.
And unlike men, any woman can be trained to have orgasms <em>just through mental fantasizing</em>. Sex for a woman at its very nature, at its very core, starts from inside her head.
Have you ever been with a girl who was sexually damaged inside her mind?
I was with a girl once who years before had been raped. And in the middle of sex she would have flashbacks of the horrible event and it didn’t matter what I did with her physically, she just couldn’t let go and enjoy the experience.
So yes, physical technique in sex is important but it’s your mental technique is what will separate you from all the other guys.
Maybe you already know how to lick a woman to the heights of pleasure, but that doesn’t mean you know how to make all her deep core fantasies come true. That doesn’t mean you know how to clear all the inhibitions out of her mind that hold her back. That doesn’t mean you know how to link up pleasure in new ways for her.
Great physical technique may make you a good lover; but btapping directly into her mind, will make you a God.
Tip #2. Use Repetition!
Dirty talk commands become more powerful and forceful when repeated in rapid succession, creating a very trance-like effect. For example tell a woman,
“I love moving my fingers through your hair… I love the way you smell… I love everything about you baby…”
“You’re a bad, naughty girl. That’s right, you’re so bad. I’m going to treat you like a bad girl, the bad girl you’ve always dreamed of being deep down… you want to be bad.”
“You like being fucked hard? I’m going to fuck you hard… take you and fuck you real hard against the wall and fuck you.”
“Suck it! Come on, suck it! Suck it like you mean it!”
“Your kisses are so warm; your hugs are so warm; your tummy is so warm; you’re like my warm little teddy bear.”
Repeating the same words over and over in rapid succession like so drives women into a submissive frenzy.
Tip #3. Give Her Compliments
All women have insecurities and they like nothing more than getting compliments in the bedroom. Compliments put them at ease and they really eat them up. Tell her,
“I love eating your pussy it tastes so good.”
“Whenever I’m around you I feel so sexy.”
“Your body is so sexy. I’m so lucky to have you.”
“I always feel so good around you.”
“Your mouth is so beautiful sucking me off like that.”
“I love the way you smell; I’m having such a hard time trying to not kiss you.”
“Your body looks so sexy half dressed.”
“You have great tits; I love playing with them.”
Tip #4. Pace the Action
Pacing the action means telling her what you’re doing to her and what she’s doing to you as the action happens. You’re describing the ongoing sex out loud in real time.
For example, as you press your penis into her vagina tell her, “I’m putting my cock into your pussy now… it feels so good being in that hot pussy of yours.”
As you penetrate her from behind doggie-style tell her, “Your ass looks so good up in the air like that as I pound your pussy with my dick.”
As she gives you a blowjob, tell her, “Yeah, put that pretty little mouth on my dick… swallow that cock down your throat.”
You’d be surprised how much more erotic licking your woman’s body is when you’re pacing the action at the same time.
As you give her oral sex tell her, “I love licking you all over.”
As you’re removing her clothes tell her, “I’m undressing you now. You look so sexy half dressed.”
As you push her down tell her, “I’m bending you over and sticking my dick in your pussy.”
(P.S. To give girls multiple, squirting orgasms with your dirty talking, click here for the Blissnosis Sex Formula)
Tip #5. Future Pace the Action
You can also future pace the action. This is just like pacing the action, except that you’re describing the action that you will be doing to her before you do it to create anticipation. Future pacing implies too that you’ll be leading and controlling the woman’s experience, and women love it when a man takes control in the bedroom.
For instance, when you say to your woman, “Now I’m going to gently suck on your tits,” it allows for a woman to anticipate what’s coming next.
“I’m going to put my cock into your pussy… it will feel so good being in that hot pussy.”
“Your ass will look so good up in the air like that as I pound your pussy with my dick.”
“Yeah, you will put that pretty little mouth on my cock… and swallow that cock down your throat.”
“I’m going to spread your legs wide open and lick all of your pussy juices.”
Tip #6. Give Commands
The command is the basic building block of dirty talk.
Commands are inherently dominant and aggressive, the very qualities that women want in a Bull in the bedroom. Even high-powered career women enjoy giving up control and being submissive to a commanding man.
When you use commands, responsibility is taken off the woman’s shoulders. She’s free to be sexually ruthless because she did not actively pursue the sex; she had sex despite herself which makes the sex “okay”.
You can command a woman to do things for your own pleasure. Like,
“Get down on your knees woman.”
“Take my dick into your mouth.”
“Put your head down here… now lick those balls as wet and dirty as you can… yes, yes, that’s it.”
You can give a woman commands to stimulate you visually as well. Like,
“Put your finger on your clit and touch yourself as you suck me off woman.”
“Look at me as you suck me off.”
“Take your tit in your hand and kiss it baby as you take my cock in your mouth.”
“Yeah baby, go deep and wet. Slobber on it. Slap that strong cock on your face.”
“Open your legs and show me your pussy.”
Notice that commands are action verbs. “Kiss”, “lick”, “suck”, “undress”, “masturbate”, “spread” and so on are all powerful actions.
The trick to having her follow your commands is not so much what you say, but HOW you say it. What’s really important is your tone.
Asking her, “Would, you please, please lick it, if it wouldn’t offend you?” is not a command. It does contain a verb, but that does not make it a command.
Don’t ask, “Honey, why don’t you sit up on the dresser and we’ll do it there?” Don’t ask, just tell her where to sit and do it.
Your commands will only have as much effect in direct proportion to your level of confidence and conviction you convey.
Act utterly expectant and confident that your commands and suggestions will occur. Inspire confidence in her. She’ll be much more suggestible and follow your commands if you’re 100% confident in your abilities, no ifs ands or buts! Only then will a woman seriously consider your frame as her total reality.
Tip #7. Stacking Commands For Maximum Excitement
Once you’ve got the core formula down, you can start stacking a series of sexy talk and dirty talk patterns.
During sex, once she’s gone into a highly sexual, suggestible state, stack the first sexy talk pattern.
“Baby, it’s so hot when you suck me off like that… you bad girl.”
Now stack the second pattern.
“You like being fucked hard and rough. You like it hard… you’re a bad girl who likes it hard… you like it when I fuck you hard and rough like that don’t you.”
Have her affirm it back to you. “Tell me you like it hard and rough!”
“Yes, I like it hard and rough!” she’ll squeal.
Now stack the third pattern.
“You like it when a strong man fucks you hard. You just love being with a strong man, don’t you?”
Stack, stack, and stack multiple sexy talk and dirty talk patterns.
Remember to keep the patterns simple and to use lots of repetition.
By the time the suggestions are repeated and repeated, and she verbally affirms herself the suggestions to be true, the suggestions will become true and real for her and become part of her sexual identity.
And with each Blissnosis session you do together, it will become even easier to do the next because you’re establishing a new norm that all of this is perfectly natural and normal – something expected that you do together all the time.
With each Blissnosis session she’ll leave the inhibitions of the Madonna and Buddy frames behind.
With each Blissnosis session her critical factor will grow softer.
With each Blissnosis session her identity as an uninhibited sexual woman open to anything you suggest will be strengthened and reaffirmed.
Pretty soon, she’ll begin expecting you to push the limits. Pretty soon, she’ll come to expect that the routine is to break the routine.
Tip #8. Make Her Repeat The Talking Dirty Back To You
Once the woman is comfortable with sexy and dirty talk, once talking in the bedroom is established as a pattern, and this can easily happen within the fist few sessions, the next step is to get the woman to sexy talk back to you and become involved in the verbal fantasy instead of just being a passive recipient.
A lot of women will start talking back all on their own. They’ll repeat back your dirty talk or even take it a step farther. If you tell her, “I’m going to fuck you hard,” she might say back, “Yeah I want you to fuck me hard,” or “Yeah I’m a dirty girl, fuck me hard.”
But a lot of women won’t initiate on their own. They have a fear of being judged negatively by you which holds them back from speaking.
So to make her verbally interact, say to her, “You like being fucked hard. Yeah baby, tell me that you like to be fucked hard.”
If she says nothing, tell her again, “Tell me you like being fucked hard baby.”
She’ll say something like, “I like it.” Most likely, it being the first time, she’ll say it timidly.
But a timid response is not what you’re going for. You want to get a strong, solid response from her. Tell her again, “Baby, I want to hear you tell me how you like being fucked. Tell me you like being fucked hard baby.”
The key is to get her to say it back to you, and have her say it with some strength and conviction. That’s why speaking to her with authority and certainty is vital.
Here’s why having her talk back is so psychologically powerful – by having her repeat your talking dirty back to you, the new ideas and beliefs become more real.
The very act of her speaking it is what accelerates and solidifies the change in her core beliefs and identity.
Once she says she likes it rough and hard, that’s when she becomes a woman who likes it rough and hard.
By making her say it, it also brings into a psychological principal known as commitment and consistency. Once a woman says something out loud for you to hear like, “I’m a naughty girl,” she’ll try to remain consistent with that new image of herself.
For example, if you want to lose weight, one way to stick to an exercise program is to tell all of your friends and family about your goal. In the effort to remain consistent with your new public image, you’ll more likely stick with your goal to lose weight.
Have you ever gone to church or seen on television where the minister wants you to say, “I accept Jesus Christ as my personal lord and savior”? If it’s just the minister saying it, it’s not as real to you. But once you say it, your beliefs and identity tends to change.
So get her to participate, as soon as she’s comfortable with being talked sexy to. Otherwise, you’re just talking dirty to a blow-up dummy doll.
And again, once the sex session is over, be sure to reestablish your relationship and reward her by being close to her. Tell her how incredible she is as a person for being so sexy, for saying those sexy words and how close it makes you feel to her. Tell her how perfect she is and how much you love her for that.
In addition, ask her how exciting it was for her. She’ll say, “Yes, it was very exciting for me.”
When she tells you, “Yes it was very exciting,” out of her own mouth, she’s in effect giving herself an image to live up to that having it rough and hard is something that excites her, a self image that in the future she’ll want to remain consistent too.
Tip #9. Don’t Use “Trying For Rapport Tonality”
Don’t use dirty talk with a “trying for rapport” voice.
Trying for rapport has an upturn at the ends of sentences. I’m ending all of my sentences in a higher pitch. The voice is a littler higher and sloped UP on the end of the sentences when I’m seeking approval.
So you end up sounding overly friendly and needy.
It sounds like to the listener that you’re almost asking a question. Like you’re asking permission to continue at the end of every sentence.
It’s almost like you sound like you’re apologizing for even talking. Or that you’re constantly affirming to yourself that it’s okay to continue. Like you’re constantly looking for feedback from the woman to continue.
Ending on a high pitch at the end of every sentence, like you’re asking everything as questions, is a total giveaway to the girl that you’re coming from a place of lower social value and that you lack confidence in what you’re doing.
But the whole point of being a Bedroom Bull, a leader, and therefore a man, attractive and dominant, is NOT to be looking for a woman’s reaction or her approval for your dirty talking.
Fortunately, you can easily solve the “Trying For Rapport” problem by instead of ending your sentences in an upward tonality, you want to end them in just a neutral, flat or even slightly downward tonality at the end, just like you would if you were talking normally.
Don’t allow the ends of sentences to rise in pitch.
Tip #10. Speak With BREAKING Rapport!
Even more dominant and sexy is BREAKING rapport.
Breaking Rapport is where your tone slopes DOWN towards the end. It’s almost like you’re interrogating the girl, you’re skeptical, or shouting orders at her.
“Hey, you’re really sexy!!? Why don’t you take off your clothes and lay down on the bed for me, baby!!?”
See you’re tonality curves DOWN at the end of the sentence and it’s almost like an interrogation.
“Hey, what’s your name? Who are you??”
Talking in a breaking rapport voice is LEADING the interaction and it’s no longer SEEKING a good reaction from the girl. That’s what’s so attractive about it, because all the other guys a girl meets will be trying to kiss her ass or suck up to her in a seeking rapport voice.
MOST of your dirty talking should be done in this Breaking Rapport tonality. That’s what separates it from normal sexy talk, which is generally done in a more Neutral Rapport tonality.
Speaking in a Breaking Rapport tone will also put the girl into a Seeking Rapport reaction.
If you say to a girl, “Hey!! Take off your clothes!!” in breaking rapport, she’ll usually respond with seeking rapport like, “Um, um okay!” Her sentences will RISE at the end in trying for rapport in response to your breaking rapport. Which is what you want, because now the woman is the one who is seeking a good reaction from you, and you’re leading the talking dirty.
The sweet spot you want to hit is a mix of Neutral Rapport and a mix of Breaking Rapport with NO trying for rapport AT ALL.
Tip #11. Be Passionate To Make Her Passionate!
When she’s feeling sexual and highly aroused, talking dirty that may otherwise sound disrespectful will NOT be taken as disrespectful. In fact, the talk dirty will actually increase the woman’s sexual excitement.
Understand that women are highly sexual creatures and will go along with most anything if your presence is sure and commanding.
If you’re passionate, she’ll be passionate.
If you’re excited, she’ll be excited.
If you’re relaxed about your body and sexuality, she’ll be relaxed about her body and sexuality.
And if you have 100% belief in what you’re saying, she’ll have 100% belief in what you’re saying.
On the other hand, what you say will feel uncomfortable if you feel ashamed or embarrassed. A woman can always tell if you feel uncomfortable about something, which only makes her feel uncomfortable.
You lead her state. She will follow whatever state you yourself go into, good or bad.
Now, when you talk sexy to a woman while she’s in a suggestible, Blissnotic state during sex, there’s a few guidelines to keep in mind that will really make things “click” for you.
Tip #12. Don’t Explain What You’re Doing…
First of all, do NOT explain to her what you’re doing or that this is part of a program you’re learning.
Do NOT engage her conscious mind on a level where it can resist or say “No”.
The point of sexy talk in the first place is to remove her critical factor from the decision-making process, and NOT toexcite it up by consciously telling her what you’re doing.
Besides, anytime a woman has sex she goes into an altered state of Blissnosis naturally and automatically. There’s nothing more you need than rapport, trust, and authority to make it happen. There’s no need to explain sexy talk for it to work. It’s a purely natural and automatic process.
So don’t tell her that you’re doing sexy talk or asking for her permission, that defeats the whole point. Her mind will only lock up and try to resist.
It would be like going on a first date with a woman and telling her that you took a seminar on dating and seduction and that you’re going to try a few “lines” on her. No! Her critical factor will immediately go on the defense and get in the way.
Tip #13. Go With the Flow
Secondly, go with the flow.
Accept whatever occurs with her and use it.
If talking about lingerie into her ear doesn’t interest her, don’t worry about it. If something in your talking dirty doesn’t get an optimal response, don’t worry about it. Don’t get attached to the result. This is a process.
If she resists a suggestion or a command, it’s fine. Just back up and try something a little softer or different instead. All you did was go past her comfort zone and now you know where to dance on the line next time.
On the other side of the coin, if you start out with talking dirty about lingerie and she starts talking about how she wants whips and chains, don’t get stuck on lingerie. Go with the whips and chains. Go with the flow and don’t resist.
Tip #14. Keep It Simple and Relax!
Simple dirty talking is great! You don’t have to get real elaborate.
Repeat the same ideas and commands. Repetition and unflinching force is more important than variety or getting every idea in there. Repetition locks in the new programming for her. Repetition makes it stick.
When you repeatedly suggest and reinforce a command, it’s more likely to be accepted by her subconscious. Your goal here is not to recreate the phone sex version of Homer’s epic Iliad and the Odyssey. Just keep it simple.
For example, say to her, “Wow I love it when you wear that red lingerie. It makes you look so sexy…. Yeah… you’re so sexy in that red lingerie… you get me so hot when you wear that lingerie…” And continue repeating the same idea.
With all that, you’ll be a dirty talking pro! 😆
Your pal, Jesse