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Women Really Want “Sweet” Painful Sex

Let me introduce you to a critical principle of the Bedroom Bull – the Sweet Pain principle.

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First you have to understand the driving force behind female psychology, the sexual motivation universal to all women.

A woman’s evolutionary purpose is to have babies with a strong man that can protect her and her children from danger, allowing the woman to successfully propagate her genes into future generations.

Thus a woman’s world revolves around her strong man and the future children she may have with him.  She will do whatever it takes to be sexually desirable for him and to keep his cock returning to her vagina, and not straying to another woman’s.

What this means for you, the man, is this: a woman is there to be your pleasure palace.  Her sole purpose is to have your babies and do whatever it takes to sexually get you off.

In return, she gets the safety and warm arms of a Bedroom Bull.

And it’s that sexual polarity that makes both yourself and the woman most happy and fulfilled.  Remember, sexual polarity = happiness.

So by guiding a woman to express her femininity in how she dresses, in how she walks, you bring to her real happiness and inner fulfillment.  And she’ll LOVE you for that.  It’s a GIFT you bring to the woman.  Your guidance and leadership is what will make her go to ends of the Earth for you with respect and gratitude.

Remember, as a man, it’s your JOB to bring out the sexual polarity in the relationship – and that includes things like giving her permission and having her wear high heel shoes and sexual clothes as a matter of regular habit.

And it’s not always comfortable.  In fact, many times it’s uncomfortable.  Many times it can be downright PAINFUL. Like high heel shoes – I’m not making any claim that they’re comfortable at all.

But with all beauty comes a little bit of PAIN.

Taking her free hour to get her hair and nails done to turn you on?  That’s PAIN.

Wearing high heels for an hour as a sexy slave while she cooks you dinner to turn you on?  That’s PAIN.

Putting all her weight on her knees as she takes your cock gagging down her throat, defiled and used for sex while you call her an oral slut?  That’s PAIN.

Holding her tongue and instead speaking in a sweet, soft voice to follow her strong man’s lead?  That’s PAIN.

Hitting the gym or getting big, fake tits so that her body turns you on?  That’s PAIN.

The life of a feminine woman, a wicked Mistress, who’s sole purpose is to be her strong man’s pleasure slave, is one of PAIN.

But it’s a SWEET pain. A woman derives deep, deep pleasure for making a man sexually happy with her and keeping his cock coming back to her vagina.  It’s in her core evolutionary programming to do so.

She may feel physical pain while on her knees, but the excitement of being sexually used for sex by her strong Bedroom Bull far outweighs the discomfort.

She may feel uncomfortable wearing heels, but knowing she’s turning her strong man on and will be ravished for doing so far outweighs the slight burn.

In the short term, getting breast enhancements is certainly painful, but the thousands of ogling eyes from men that reinforce her identity as a sexually feminine, wicked Mistress will far outweigh the temporary hurt, particularly if her new breasts please her strong man.

They’re soft and sweet on the outside.  But they’re willing to be sinful, wicked creatures for the long term gain of their man, even if it causes them short term pain.  It’s painful yes, but yet it feels so GOOD to be bad… that’s the lesson of Sweet Pain.

(P.S. For much more on using the Sweet Pain Principle to hot up your wife or girlfriend, click here to check out my Bissnosis Hot Sex and Relationships program)

So yes, it may be uncomfortable for a woman to wear high heels or dress sexy for you.  It takes up her time and it’s not always physically comfortable.  But if you’re playing this game right, it will be her greatest sweet PLEASURE to acquiesce to your wishes.

“The Boss” and “The Slave Girl”

Having feminine polarity is resource intensive and can be painful.  It can mean wearing high heels, wearing lingerie, talking dirty in bed… it may mean working out at the gym to get in shape or doing her makeup.

But a woman, left to her own devices, without leadership and direction, will tend to be lazy.  She’ll want to keep you attracted, but with minimal effort on her part.

That’s why you want to have a mentality of being “The Boss” and treating your Mistress like “The Slave Girl.”  Meaning you lay down the rules, she follows your lead, and you play boss to make sure actions are followed through.

If you’re not giving her tough leadership, a woman will often not follow through.  At work, the boss sometimes has to play dictator to make employees follow through; likewise, at home sometimes you have to play boss dictator to make your woman follow through.  Don’t be afraid to enforce discipline.

That’s what she wants you to be, deep down, to be the enforcer and disciplinarian over her bad habits.  It’s that very quality that makes you the masculine, leading, Bedroom Bull.  You don’t take her excuses.

That’s what makes Sweet Pain both Sweet and Painful.  Painful because you’re forcing her to do it – and Sweet for the very same reason – because you’re forcing her to do it.

Don’t let her eat a box of Oreos while watching television on the couch.  Don’t accept her whining or bad attitude.  Don’t accept that she won’t dress up for you and suck you off on demand.  She’s your wicked Mistress – she has to act like one.  Your enforcement of the rules is what makes the pain so sweet.  Your enforcement of the rules is the very quality that makes you a sexy Bedroom Bull.

Being the boss has nothing to do with being a jerk.  You don’t give her ultimatums to get your way.  You don’t yell and scream to make her act.  You don’t sleep with her friend to get revenge.  You don’t walk away and act grumpy.  That’s all child pettiness, the very opposite of being a Bull.

You’re a gentlemen… yet an enforcer.  Always playful, always fun, always smiling, always cool… but you don’t take bad behavior either.  That’s what makes her pain feel so, so sweet.

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  1. Jesse Charger

    Leave your comment below

  2. Anonymous

    get to the point……

  3. Lia

    I found the paternalistic, sexist, and controlling undertones in this article deeply disturbing. My God, it’s like a 1950’s magazine. The idea that women are lazy without the guidance of a man sounds like excuses given by twisted gender hierarchies in medieval times, and would be more insulting if I didn’t find it so ridiculous. I know many women, myself included, who achieve a hell of a lot without a man telling us to do it, both because we have the intelligence and motivation to do it ourselves, and because we respect ourselves. Even in the category of outward appearance, I take care of myself without the apparently necessary guidance of a man because I like to feel good about myself. All on my (apparently pathetic because of my gender) lonesome.

    Past that, this seems like a very lopsided relationship. The only thing the man is providing is good sex — which isn’t exactly a sacrifice on his part. In return, the woman is supposed to go through a great deal of inconvenience/discomfort/pain for her partner, and her pleasure is supposedly in pleasing him. Really. Does anyone else find it convenient that the person giving this argument is a man himself???

    I don’t care how good at sex someone is. If he had this kind of condescending, disrespectful, and controlling attitude towards me, if he insinuated that I was lazy for not always dolling myself up with lingerie and makeup and “sucking him off on command,” for not undergoing radical/expensive/painful plastic surgery, for not wearing freaking high heels while cooking him dinner (especially after I’d pulled a 14 hour shift), I’d tell him where to shove it. And it wouldn’t be up any part of my anatomy.

    • Jesse Charger

      Thanks for the comments Lia. Yep, this is NOT particularly in the “best interests” of the woman. The advice is geared toward relationships where the man gets great sex. It’s extremely biased toward that single goal. People should take it or leave it for what it is.

      • Elizabeth

        Although Lia says that the article is biased with male gratification in mind, I am inclined to agree with and support your article, Jesse. I would wager that Lia here is upset because on some level she understands that this is indeed true about women and she is disgusted by it.
        This article is for the men. It is not biased; it is audience appropriate. There is a healthy balance here, a yin and yang, if you will, that keeps both partners motivated. Jesse is focusing more on what a man should do without any sugar coating involved. Allow me to elaborate on how a woman who understands her bedroom bull will respond in the text below:
        As a woman reading your article, I found it to be VERY appropriate and accurate when considering a woman’s hardwiring. I could not help myself from leaning toward the computer screen and smiling at your instructions to aspiring “bedroom bulls.” I kept catching myself nodding and checking off the mental “yes” list in my head. :mrgreen:

        I was not born anywhere near the 50’s or the liberating 60’s (80’s baby here), but I do understand the nature of pleasure. For women who are more family and home oriented, and/or for those who place a greater importance on service (the pleasure of others over the self) I have to say “sweet pain” is where it’s at! Their minds are wired to take these displays of dominance as a game that actually reads like continuous foreplay for the female brain. :grin:
        Sure those heels can be uncomfortable and pinch your manicured feet, but is he not going to rub you down in warm oil (including said feet) or grant you “permission” to get a rejuvenating spa pedicure for a week of hard “labor?” He gets visual pleasure, and you get the mental foreplay, phenomenal passionate sex, AND the subtle sexual touches that he can’t help because he wants to be near you. :lol:

        I cannot speak about women getting breast implants. I am a naturally large-breasted woman (34 F) with a small waist and hourglass figure (thank you mom!). Yes my back does hurt often, but guess who massages it? Yes I sweat at the gym, but guess who showers with me when I get home? You guessed it! My “bedroom bull!” I work hard to keep myself looking good for our pleasure, and he supports me with a well-placed and firm “no” when I really do want to cave and eat those Oreo’s and ice cream. It snaps me out of it and I thank him for it. As a result, I get to keep my awesome figure which is payment enough.

        I’m not saying that I do not have my own mind, nor do I lack intelligence. I am simply stating that this is a two-sided coin. If he is my bedroom bull, and I assure you he is, then I’m his wicked little temptress. Command me to suck your cock??? Oookaaay, but I’ll make you fight to keep control once my mouth closes over you.

        Lia, why don’t you try this every once in a while? It’s a constant game of one-upmanship that always makes a winner out of both of you. Break out the bustier and the ass floss, don your high heels and play coy. Let him dominate you and then come back and tell me how upset you are that he took such gracious and single-minded “care” with your body. ;-)
        Men and women can be equals, but if you don’t know how to respond to a bedroom bull, then maybe you should just stick with a puppy. But don’t deprive him his birthright to be (or feel like) he-man and master (even if it’s only in his mind), and don’t deny yourself your rightful place as coconspirator and mastermind of sexual warfare. Free your mind the constraints! Your body and your man (assuming you have one) will thank you for it!

    • George Glory

      Hmmm… Methinks someone’s husband/boyfriend is not spanking them enough.

    • Zoe

      Lia. If you can’t handle a strong masculine man both in and out the bedroom perhaps you should go get yourself a weak yes man. Perhaps you can’t handle anything else?

  4. Kimberley

    I found this article interesting. As a women who is in an almost 4 year relationship things certainly can get neglected. Particularly sweet and painful sex. My partner and I are both powerful, sexy, in demand people. We are very busy with our own personal lives that it is hard to bring the hot young love sex into our lives. With that being said this article has its merits. To keep hot sexual attraction going both parties need to bring it to the table. I love a strong, manly, smart, sexy man who can throw it down in the bedroom. I also love being sexy, wanting to please and be pleased. It is a good reminder. I am certainly not going to get my breasts enlarged(I didn’t feel that that was the point anyway), but there are so many other things to bring to the table to please one another.

    • Jesse Charger

      Good, reasonable points Kimberly.

  5. subservient

    For those who think this is ‘lopsided’ or ‘biased’….this way of life isn’t for you- and that’s ok. It’s very much for many others…and that’s eveb better. :twisted: I’m a strong, opinionated, successful and attractive woman…but my ‘bull’ will bring me to my knees. Happily. :lol:

    • Elizabeth

      That’s the ticket!

  6. matt4700

    as an midwestern american now living in Ukraine, i can tell you without a doubt i learn more about how to be a man here than anywhere.

    these women, almost without exception, love being spanked, hair pulled and fucked hard. the harder you fuck them, the harder they fuck back. pretty simple.

    i generally do what i want..sometimes i am a little polite while fucking them and will ask and indicate, “face, or breasts and stomach?” giving them the choice. sometimes.

    only once after a facial did the women think i disrespected her.

    some i “taught” or lead into it, once i got their trust.

    we’re men.

    BUT, you have to show them they can trust you. not hard to do at all.

    • Jesse Charger

      Dude, stellar comment.

  7. ABC

    What is the best way to punish or be the boss when she doesn’t do something that is asked?

    ie, suck off on demand because she says she has a headache, or has work to do

    • Jesse Charger

      Don’t punish her. She may legitimately have a head-ache at times. Other times it’s just a matter of putting her in the mood, being sexually aggressive and desiring of her, and persisting a little. If she begins to soften up, continue. Women like to be “taken”. But use common sense, if she reacts negatively too hard, it means you need to give her a little space and come back to it another time.

      • Dan

        It’s a case of pushing and pulling. Notice when to put the pressure on and take it off. Women love this from a strong man. No one wants a push-over. Be the man, be strong. Just remember to tune in to her feeling, calibrate in the moment and act with confidence.

  8. Anonymous

    no, she won’t get lazy if she’s left to her own devices; and no, she doesn’t want you to be the “enforcer and disciplinarian over her bad habits”. If you’re doing it right she’ll WANT to dress up for you, and get her hair and nails done, and wear heels and lingerie,etc. She LIKES TO and she WANTS TO and it won’t be painful for her. If she doesn’t want to and she’s just sitting on the couch eating Oreos than you’re doing something terribly wrong. Yes, a woman wants to feel sexually desirable and she’ll go to great lengths to turn him on and if she does’t want to turn him on the somethings WRONG- with the guy!

  9. Anonymous

    I don’t think it’s lopsided at all, at least not from my perspective. Let me illistrate – I have complete control over almost every aspect of my life, and I think myself to be on the more successful end of the spectrum of things. Sometimes having that much control can be taxing. There’s a certain level of ‘good stress’ that comes from uncertainty. I have found that the only way for me to be balanced is to infact not have control over something. This is where my partner comes in. It is a relief to be told what to do, especially in a sexual way, for I am a very sexual being. This is the outlet, persay, that keeps me sane. It’s not for everyone, I’m sure, but it is what’s healthy for me.

    • Elizabeth

      That sums it up in a nutshell. Thank you!

    • Anonymous

      I couldn’t agree more. I am a highly successful professional attorney and often I find myself the only woman in meetings with 6-12 men. I spend 10 hours a day making my voice heard and “arguing” the merits of my opinion.

      I chose as my careerpath, a position which requires me to be quite assertive. In the past (though it is changing) the career has been heavily male dominated, and frankly many of the women attorneys because of training and education driven toward male characteristics, have developed the same.

      Quite frankly, when I come home I don’t want to make another decision or be “in control”. I am very happy to relinquish that control and feel taken care of. Releasing control rejuvenates me and helps me to maintain a healthy balance in my life so I can go back to work and “fight” again the next day.

  10. Anonymous

    I am a 28 year-old female in a relationship with an alpha male and I can relate to all these things. I not only want to suck him off on demand, but I love it! Just knowing that I am able to give him that much pleasure is a turn-on for me. I know that if I don’t take the time to look good for him and please him sexually that he is certainly able to pick up the phone and find someone else who does… But this relationship is what I have chosen, not because I can’t find someone else either. It just works for both of us…

    • Jesse Charger

      a man with options will keep you staying at your best.

  11. I am 18 years i need a girl 2 fuck.

    Women really love hard and sweet sex

  12. Capo G

    I particularly have learnt a lot of lessons from this piece of writing with regards to my experiences with women so far. You just hit the nail right on the head: the women complaining are simply being sentimental looking at where they belong to – Gender.

  13. Anonymous

    I have to admit when I first read this article a long time ago I thought it was bullshit. But I kept thinking about it, and all the things I wanted to change about my relationship. My girlfriend had recently moved in and she had all kinds of habits I didn’t like and it caused a lot of arguments. So I decided to give it a try. I started telling her rules and correcting her when she didn’t follow them and reminding her of the rules. When she did something I liked, like working out or cleaning/cooking, I praised her and told her what a good job she did following the rules and how I was proud of her.

    Initially I didn’t think it was going to work. She’d just get mad and tell me not to tell her what do to. But I just kept at it. I also made sure a few of the rules were things she loved doing, that way she’d follow some rules anyway. Then when she did them I didn’t just thank her but told her how proud I was of her for following the rules…making the praise about her obedience and not what she did. At first she laughed it off but after a couple of weeks I stopped…and noticed she seemed upset I didn’t tell her she’d done a good job. That’s when I knew it was working and all your tips were right on.

    I told her I was glad she followed some rules but I would only be proud of her if she followed them all. It was slow going but soon I noticed she was starting to follow more of my rules, even the ones she didn’t like, like super high heels and slutty clothes at home. Once I felt she was trained to be fairly obedient I started introducing other things like deep throating and anal…things she’d previously insisted were degrading and she’d never do. I was sure to tell her they were new rules and how proud I’d be of her. Before long she was kneeling at my feet taking my dick down her throat like a champ and letting me fuck her up the ass. Then I worked her up to expecting it more often and getting rougher with her until I was finally able to be a bull and just fuck her however I wanted.

    It’s been a difficult thing, training her, but once she responded positively it was pretty smooth sailing from there. Now my girlfriend is a real mistress…sucking my dick on demand, taking rough anal and dressing sexy to serve me dinner. Now I’m the boss and she follows my lead. I’m sure some people will bitch and say it’s not in a woman’s best interest to be trained like this…well that’s not what guys care about…it’s in OUR best interest.

    • Jesse Charger

      great story, great advice :o

  14. Anonymous

    What your talking about here is BDSM. And in the BDSM life style, dominants and the submissives go into the relationship knowing and embracing their preferred roles. It’s consensual from the get go. And those roles are personality, not gender based. For every woman thats a born submissive, there is also one that is a born dominant or neutral. (hence Lia’s reaction to this article) What your suggesting here is an amateur/ wanna be, power based, mind fuck, and it’s a dangerous game to play if you value the woman your with.
    No woman wants a wimp (Unless your girl is a born dominant maybe) so by all means be strong, confidant, self assured and direct, but save the master/slave thing for role playing. In the real world, for about two thirds of the female population, that will get really old, really fast.
    But if you want the truth, every piece of advise you’re ever going to get is basically going to be a cheap attempt to compensate for the one thing woman really want but never get. They want to be safe in the arms of their man. NOT PHYSICALLY, with the training available today, a lot of women out there could kick your butt. What they want is a place were it’s SAFE to be vulnerable; to say, and be, and do what they really want/need to say, be or do. To confide their hopes and dreams and fears and yes, their kinkiest desires. (And if they are naturally submissive, they want to feel safe enough to confide that to you too.) But that takes a combination of strong and soft most men in this society just can’t deliver. (Or maybe can’t be bothered to deliver, its so much easier to phone it in or go for the cheap tricks, after all.)
    If you really want the ultimate relationship at every level
    Be strong, confidant, self assured and direct,( a woman can’t be vulnerable with a weakling, someones got to be the “man”.) be a care taker and protector, earn her trust.
    Watch, pay attention; note her facial expressions, her tone, her body language. Really listen! communicate! (women are verbal creatures, they love words. )
    (And give her time to get used to it, because if you can deliver it, it will probably be the first time she’s ever encountered it. It will take her a while to trust it.) Oh, and mind blowingly good sex helps of course.

    As to your comment ” Her sole purpose is to have your babies and do whatever it takes to sexually get you off.”
    Hah, It’s her sole purpose to survive, and for thousands of years “having your babies and doing whatever it takes to sexually get you off.” where her only means of ensuring that. Welcome to the 21st century boys.

  15. Playboy

    Would like to share that, my office secretary does whatever I want from her, whenever…actually, my intuitions are so accurate that we have never got caught by any of our other office colleagues..and she trusts my instincts..

  16. Jomo

    Am Jomo,I have not had sex before though planing to have one.How do i make my woman get that qualitative sweet sex?
    Do women get happy only by sweet painful sex and how will i know she is okay with my sex?

  17. Anonymous

    no longer i am feeling that sweet pain during sex with my hubby. it happens if i try it by my own. rubbing finger on my vagina. but is it safe or not i don’t know.

  18. milon

    it is sooo good for a men life to make his patner happy……..thank u for this helpfull job.

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