Getting girls is all about how you FEEL inside.
Think for a moment- what is more important than how you feel?
If you were to make more money, you might FEEL more freedom.
If you were to have more power and prestige, you might FEEL you have more control and security.
And if you were to have the dream girlfriend, you might FEEL more self-esteem or love or pleasure.
It’s not the objects themselves that you’re after, but the feelings they give you.
The problem with all of these things is that the good feelings they give you are TEMPORARY.
If you get a raise, you’ll be happy and excited for a while, but pretty soon you’ll revert to your normal emotional level and you won’t even notice the extra money. In fact, you’ll upgrade your lifestyle and pretty soon you’ll be just as unhappy until you get the next raise.
Likewise, having a girlfriend will bring a flood of emotions—infatuation, love, sexual pleasure—but all those too will pass. Pretty soon you’ll revert back to your normal emotional level.
If you’re living in fear, anger, rejection, bitterness, impatience—it doesn’t matter how much money you make, how much power you attain, or how many girls you lay in your bed—you’ll feel a temporary rush of pleasure, but at the end of the day your “emotional thermometer” will readjust back into fear, anger, and rejection.
If you’re living in those states, the quality of your life will be substandard and shoddy no matter how much cash in your pocket, no matter how many people look up to you, and no matter how many girls open their door to you.
Can you live in a great emotional state WITHOUT any of those external things? Can you feel inside the way you want to feel without external validation from others? Can you instead feel passionate and spectacular about yourself, about your physical fitness, about your personal passions and pastimes?
Then you won’t need approval from your boss, or approval from friends, or approval from girls to feel spectacular—you’ll feel that way as a matter of natural course. Then you won’t spend all of your time chasing, chasing, chasing—you can just BE. And a guy who already feels like a High King without the money or cars or girls is, paradoxically, exactly what will attract girls to you in the first place.
Emotional States Are Addictive
You know how when you go out to meet girls, sometimes you just have a bitch of time maintaining a positive state?
Either you feel kind of shitty and lazy and don’t go out in the first place. OR you go out, you still feel kind of shitty and negative.
Why is that? Why can’t we just snap ourselves into a great state and just KEEP it? Why does out state and emotional feelings seem to fall off a cliff so damn EASILY or just not get revved up at all in the first place for advanced macking?
Well, here’s both the curse and the blessing of this problem.
Advanced macking rule: Emotional states are addictive!
Basically, we get very comfortable and addicted, to the general emotional state that we’re in, whether it be positive, neutral, or negative.
So if you spend all day at your work being pissed off and angry, you practice that emotional state… you practice it a lot.
And you become really good at it. You become really good at falling into being pissed off and angry.
Because every time you get pissed off and angry, you’re laying synaptic pathways in your brain, and eventual synaptic highways, to more easily go into that state in the future.
Or let’s say you spend a lot of time in front of your television or the computer alone, passive, quiet, in an imaginary world of analytical thinking or entertainment passivity.
Well, it gets easier and easier to go into that state, even when you’re NOT in front of the computer or television, like when you’re going out to meet girls.
That’s why when you’re not in a positive, social emotional state very often, you’re weak at it. It’s not comfortable keeping it up. It feels a little bit fake or it feels like hard work. And you easily slip back into the state that you’re most used to being in – like an analytical state or problem solving state, or thinking state, or even a negative or angry state in many cases.
So let’s say you spend 8 hours a day on the computer and you go out, it can be tiring being positive and happy and social, and you’ll EASILY slip back into quiet computer guy at the club, even if, intellectually, you know you should be doing otherwise.
And if we’re accessing a side of ourselves that we don’t frequently access, like being happy and positive and sociable and loud, it’s almost impossible to just forcefully make yourself stay in that state for very long. Often, as soon as your willpower is used up, you’re going to slowly revert back to your original state.
It’s the same reason that workaholics, when they’re at the beach on their yearly vacation, they can’t relax. Or they can’t really enjoy the vacation, it just feels like more work. Or they feel shitty on their vacation, they’re just carrying over the same emotional state that they’ve practiced so well at their job.
They’ve laid down such a massive synaptic superhighway for that work state, that they can’t snap out of it even when they’re sitting on the beach with a margarita in their hand in a time-stands-still palm tree paradise. Whether they’re at the beach or in the office, the same emotional state sits in their body.
Again, emotional states are addictive. And what we practice most is what we get comfortable with and what we get good at. And we tend to revert back to it.
If you go out to a bar and club and are yelling and being social, you lay synaptic pathways for that kind of behavior and state.
If you’re feeling positive and smile, even if you force yourself, you lay synaptic pathways for that.
If you play the game just to be liked and to avoid all risks and be in fear, you lay synaptic pathways for that.
If you stay at home depressed that you didn’t go out or fuzzed out in front of a television, you lay synaptic pathways for that.
You’re making it easier and easier to achieve any of those behaviors or states in the tomorrow and the day after.
So here is the SOLUTION, here is what this means for you.
First of all, understand that doing something new is fucking HARD at first. It’s just hard at first, you don’t have the synaptic pathways laid down yet. Whether that’s a new behavior like speaking more loudly, or smiling, or saying hello, or whether it’s an emotional state like remaining positive or remaining unreactive and positive in the face of negativity and bullshit.
You’ve got to practice that, practice it, to lay down those synaptic pathways into a path, and then road, and then a super highway so that it becomes easier and easier in the future.
But at first, it will feel uncomfortable. And at first, you’ll find yourself reverting very easily back into your most commonly frequented state of negativity or being analytical or whatever it is.
The point is, don’t give up. PERSIST and remain consistent in your practicing. Yes, it WILL be uncomfortable at first, but just because something feels uncomfortable is NOT a valid reason to give up on it.
And you already know the solution. Start building those synaptic patterns now, so that you’ll fall into your new emotional states and behaviors more easily and quickly and you’ll be able to STAY there.
If you smile more and force yourself to be positive and think positive, just like anything else, the more frequently you access that part of you, the more permanent and easier it becomes to STAY in it.
So you can learn to increase your tolerance to smiling, being positive, talking loudly, standing tall like a champ, talking to girls, be being EXPOSED to it, just like you can get stronger muscles by placing them under pressure consistently!
And when you go on accepting the challenge again and again, you rewire your brain over time and those old fears and difficulties… like keeping a positive state when you go out… will slowly… slowly disappear for good.
If you go on exposing yourself, in the beginning it is going to be really very scary, but soon you’ll start gaining strength as you acclimatize to it and write it into your brain through ongoing, consistent repetition.
And this a powerful and liberating understanding.
It means that we can always proactively choose to RE-ADDICT ourselves toward something more positive and healthy and beneficial to meeting and hard attracting women for advanced macking.
Through exercises, drilling, and practicing, you can lay down those new neural synaptic pathways and make it easier and easier for yourself. You CAN build permanent change. It’s no magic bullets, yes it can be slow and frustrating sometimes, but it works.
Which is GOOD that’s it’s hard. Because that means so few guys follow through. They get a bit uncomfortable and they quit. That’s why 99% of guys will never compete with you, because they quit so fast. If you hang in there, through the initial discomfort, and commit to practicing being positive and smiling, talking loudly, and standing tall like a champ, you’ll stand head and shoulders above almost everybody else.
So that’s the reason your state can drop so easily and rapidly when you go out and you can’t keep it up – simply because you haven’t practiced that state much. And you’ve got work at it, it’s not easy. But that hurdle is the blessing in disguise – because it eliminates all of your competition.
So start doing drills to get the skills of advanced macking. Every day. Keep at it. And lay down that synaptic super highway to success!
Your pal, Jesse