Your school and teachers – and their measuring system – may have been the culprit, and fucked you up.
Here’s how to find out if that’s the case and how to fix it.
A big culprit of anxiety with girls comes from the measuring system in school.
Teachers constantly measured you, judged you, placed you, and rewarded you for reacting to their demands.
And what happens to us good students is that,
1. We learn to constantly react
2. We become fearful of making mistakes and getting negative feedback (a bad grade)
3. And we become obsessed with being liked
We juggled pleasing the teachers, pleasing our parents, winning approval, being liked, and meeting other’s expectations.
And that measuring system back from school still haunts us in the back of our heads.
It created a need for constant feedback that we’re doing well and that we’re okay.
And as adults, years later once school is long gone, we constantly feel we need feedback that we’re good guys, that we’re worthy, that we’re doing well in our work.
We constantly feel we need to be reassured by others that we’re doing right, even when we ARE already doing everything right.
Consequently, our confidence comes from approval from OTHER people – from our teachers, from our bosses, and from our friends and family. It’s not internal “SELF-confidence” or “SELF-trust”, but rather a CONDITIONAL confidence where we only feel good based on the feedback we get from others.
And the constant judging from superiors and reactive approval-seeking continues into the workplace.
We want our bosses and their measuring system to like us and we want to get positive feedback which makes us feel good and boosts our self-esteem. And when we don’t get that, we crash and feel terrible or get depressed.
Our inner self is constantly crying out for approval from other people.
The Measuring System and Meeting Women
But when it comes to getting GIRLS and meeting women, then approval seeking, wanting to be liked, fear of making mistakes, and striving to do our very best are all “Nice Guy” habits that generate ZERO attraction.
The “good student” at school and the “good worker” on the job are essentially “nice guy” traits. And Nice Guys don’t get the girls.
All that approval seeking and wanting to be liked makes you NERVOUS around women because you want to be perfect, not make mistakes, and you’re obsessed with the girl LIKING you.
That makes your game timid and WEAK and you don’t take any risks. You break eye contact first, your voice cracks, and you can’t think of what to say that would be perfect. And you don’t dare initiate physical contact in case she won’t like you. You’re afraid of “getting the bad grade on your report card”, which causes you to choke and be boring instead!
That “nice guy” identity back from school is also what gives you approach anxiety. An inner voice holds you back from saying hello to her, because it wants to be liked and get approval above all else.
The Rules Are Different
But the rules for creating hard attraction with women are *completely different* than the rules for succeeding in school and your work.
The school measuring system, which rewarded you with star stickers, good grades, and pats on the back – or punished you with public humiliation – now makes you a weak-noodle-of-a-nice-guy with women.
Because school taught you essentially one thing, each and every day, for years and YEARS… how to supplicate and kiss ass!
Because school isn’t doing what YOU want to do, but REACTING to other people to please THEM. And that nice guy identity was beaten into you day after day, year after year.
And that’s an identity you have to unlearn.
Because it’s a shit identity when it comes to getting girls.
The good student makes you just another “nice guy” with weak-ass, supplicating, kiss-ass, timid, conservative, “please like me” reactive game.
But to be attractive to women, you’ve got to speak UP and be LOUD and INTERRUPT them (the exact opposite of what you’re taught in school).
To be attractive, you’ve got to start grabbing girls by the hand and pulling them into you with unbreakable, full frontal eye contact (the opposite of “keep your hands to yourself”!).
And that means you WON’T be liked by everyone. Not every girl will like you, and maybe you piss off her friends sometimes. It means getting as many “ F ” and “ D ” grades as you get “ A’s ”.
It means being the black sheep, the bad boy, the guy who goes for what he wants without apology – and fuck what anyone else thinks!
Dropping The Old Identity
The “nice guy” identity of appeasing and kissing ass, beaten into you by school’s measuring system, must NOT remain your identity as it FAILS you completely when it comes to women.
You’ve got to drop that old identity.
You’ve got to drop that identity and adopt a little more self-trust and bad boy FURY.
Speaking more loudly and with breaking rapport tonality.
Making more unbreaking, full frontal eye contact.
Going right up to girls and telling them they’re “hot as hell” to their faces, without apology.
Fully accepting your own flaws and imperfections, trusting in your own actions, and taking action.
P.S. And I show you exactly how to do all that step-by-step in my revolutionary program Nonverbal Sexual Mind Control.
Because bad boys don’t care that they’re not perfect… or even suck at “the game”.
What makes you a bad boy is that he just goes up to the girl and grabs her and compliments her, fuck everyone else, fuck his flaws, fuck that his game is lame, fuck what anyone else thinks, and especially fuck the girl thinks. That’s the bad boy! And he doesn’t give a shit about getting an “ A ” or any kind of approval for it.
How to Make The Change
So you may think to yourself, “Okay Jesse I won’t be the nice guy. I’ll be the bad boy. No more supplicating, no more reacting, and no more approval seeking!”
But remember, these habits were ingrained over YEARS.
The “nice guy” identity has been beaten deep into your core since childhood, especially if you were a class nerd… like I was! (My nerd vice in high school was computer programming)
And when you go out to meet women, you’ll still feel that super “nice guy” underneath who’s afraid of not being perfect, who’s afraid of not pleasing, and who’s afraid of not getting the girl’s approval.
So it’s not enough to just say, “Okay, no more Mr. Nice Guy from now on!”
You’ve got to really TRANSFORM how your identity more DEEPLY. And it’s going to take more a radical action on your part to break out of that mentality.
That’s why I created the 15 hour Nonverbal Sexual Mind Control program, so that you can make a DEEP transformation that will allow you to start creating HARD attraction with girls, free of the reacting and approval seeking, and free of the weight of school’s old habits.
And when you make that deep level change, the anxiety around women will melt away and you’ll feel radiantly relaxed and confident for the first time, which is massively attractive to women.