Once a girl is back at your place, have her sit down on your bed and watch a movie together. You can place the television in front of your bed so that you have an excuse to be on the bed together.
Next, start smelling her, touching her face, and then start kissing her. This is where touch escalation is important. Begin by touching her legs, arms, neck, and face as you kiss her. Next, you can move to more erogenous zones like the outsides and insides of her thighs. You’ll also want to pass your hands down over her breasts to see how she’ll respond. Don’t grab her breasts, just pass your hands over them and keep going.
Pretty soon, the girl will become increasingly turned on the more you touch her. Lean her back on the bed and keep making out. You can further proceed by slipping your hand under her shirt and bra and cupping her breasts and slipping your hand down her pants to massage the area around her pussy.
Continue to proceed to sex.
But if she give you last minutes resistance here’s what to do…
What NOT to do – start begging her for sex
You’re sitting with girl on your bed. She’s making out with your tongue, playing field hockey with your tonsils. You kiss her neck while you pass your palm over her breasts through her shirt and with the other hand stroke her thigh. You slip one of your hands down her jeans and start massaging her lips with your fingers.
Then she speaks those pesky words you prayed you wouldn’t hear.
“No… stop… we shouldn’t be doing this…” she says.
You feel that disappointing feeling of frustration. Most guys unfortunately either 1) stop moving forward, 2) start begging for sex, or 3) start arguing with the girl as to why she should continue.
With all three strategies however, you’re playing with matches on a wooden boat. Most likely they’ll backfire and the ship will sink.
If you stop moving forward with the hopes that you’ll show her that you’re sensitive to her feelings and a swell guy, she may just come to the conclusion that you’re another “nice guy” who folded at the very first sign of resistance – not very sexy.
In any case, if you stop she’ll most likely pop out of state and you’ll have a lot of backtracking to do.
If you start begging like, “Please… girl… just let me take this bra off… come on baby… please baby…” you’ll come across as needy and desperate to get into her pants. Begging also engages the woman’s neocortex which is responsible for reasoning and critical judgment – and frames sexual escalation into a yes/no choice for the woman.
In other words, you’re placing all the power of sexual escalation into the woman’s hands – specifically into the hands of her critical mind that’s responsible for acceptance or rejection – which is exactly where you DON’T want the power to be.
For example, imagine you’re at a car dealership and you’re on the fence about buying this new car. You’ve just met the salesman that afternoon – so naturally you don’t know if he’s completely trustworthy, even though he may seem to be.
You hesitate whether you should buy the car or not and suddenly the salesman starts pleading with you to buy the car. He begs of you, “Come on… please buy this car… do it for me… I really need this commission…”
Tactic #1. Be Understanding
Sometimes, despite all of your efforts to turn a woman on, when it comes down to the moment of sex, a woman still shuts herself down mentally.
Don’t take it personally. Most likely the woman has legitimate concerns that worry her, preventing her from sleeping with you – even if she otherwise wants to.
Some women are extremely worried about the word getting out to their friends or family that they had sex and being labeled a “slut”. Other women are worried about catching a disease or getting pregnant… but they don’t want to ask you to wear a condom for fear of being a “slut”. Or they don’t even think to ask.
Or they really like you and they’re afraid that after sleeping with you, you’ll disappear from their lives. They fear that by sleeping with you, they’ll lose their power over you and they don’t want to give up that leverage.
Or the girl might be a virgin – and is simply scared of the whole unknown experience in general.
Although you can’t know specifically what her particular fear is, you can preemptively address and allay her possible fears with some heart-to-heart talk to get her into bed.
Simply hold her in your arms and tell her that you always wear a condom when making love to a woman so that she trusts she won’t catch anything or get pregnant. And tell her that you look forward to waking up with her tomorrow and that you don’t want her to look back on the experience with any regrets – implying that you won’t think of her as a slut for sleeping with you and that you won’t ditch her the very next day.
Again, you’re doing some “mind reading” here in the hopes of addressing her particular fears to get her into bed.
But guess what – it works. A little understanding and addressing a woman’s most common fears is often enough to make her comfortable enough to continue.
Tactic #2. Ignore Token Resistance
Now, if you have a girl isolated, sitting on your bed, and kissing you – there’s a 99% chance she *IS* willing to sleep with you. However, a lot of women have intense emotional feelings when it comes to having sex with a new guy for the first time.
When it comes down to the moment when she realizes that sex is inevitable – or at least once she realizes she’s become so turned on that if she doesn’t stop things NOW, she’ll lose control over herself and surrender to her urges – she’ll attempt to put up a final resistance. “No… this is happening so fast… please…” she’ll say.
Her body and limbic brain responsible for lust and sex (also referred to as the unconscious mind) is telling her to GO, but her neocortex (the conscious mind), full of societal programming, is telling her to hold out. Christina Aguilera sums up the female dilemma nicely in the song Genie in a Bottle – “My body’s saying let’s go… but my heart is saying no.”
However, the primal, older limbic brain will always win out over the thinking, rational, newer neocortex.
Her limbic brain telling her to have sex has the force of a tsunami wave while the neocortex telling her to stop has the force of a whisper. So don’t let a woman’s final resistance to sex phase you. Most of the time it can be overcome with some simply strategies I’m about to show you.
Instead of stopping, begging, or arguing with a woman, follow these simple guidelines below.
First, simply ignore what she’s saying and keep moving forward.
Many times a woman will verbally say one thing, but with her body say something completely different. She may say, “No please…” verbally but give you no physical resistance whatsoever. In fact, I had a girl telling me, “We shouldn’t be doing this,” while she was unfastening her bra!
So in many cases you can just IGNORE her token resistance and keep going. She crumbles in no time flat.
If she keeps saying, “We shouldn’t really be doing this…” and you sense the situation calls for you to say something, simply start talking SEXY to her.
Her: “Oh god… we shouldn’t be doing this…”
You: “You’re right… we shouldn’t do this… it’s so bad…”
And keep going.
You may have heard the advice “agree with what she’s saying” before. Indeed, agreeing with her disengages her logical, rational mind which is the source of all mental resistance. After all, how can she argue with someone who’s agreeing with her?
But it’s more than that. Think of it as SEXY talk to get her WET and speak it like that – with a husky, sex voice.
Tactic #3. Make your bedroom sexy
Your home is your love castle.
And you need to set it up with a minimal level of standards to help put women into the mood.
Candles, incense, big fluffy pillows, a large bed, and sexy low level lightning all set the mood for hot sex.
What’s more important however are what emotional anchors you’ve associated to the bedroom.
Is the bedroom exclusively reserved for passion, experimentation, and fantasy, or do you have negative anchors and emotions linked to the bedroom?
Is the bedroom a place that you fight in? Is the bedroom a place that you play cold war mind games and power plays with each other? Does your bedroom double as a work office? Does your bedroom have a television that you associate passive entertainment to?
What do you have anchored to that bedroom of yours… negative draining experiences or positive passionate ones?
Clear Out All The CRAP!
The bedroom must be reserved exclusively for passion, lovemaking, and fantasy.
It should be a Tantric temple of comfort and sex. Don’t clutter it up with crap that has nothing to do with sleep or lovemaking.
Get the dirty pile of laundry off the floor.
Put that exercise gear in the closet.
Put the laptop in the main room.
And yes, the television too– get that television out of there.
When you bring work, stress, and a mess into the bedroom, you begin to associate your bedroom with all kinds of negative emotions such as work, stress, and mess.
Likewise, if you ever fight with a woman, work it out first and don’t let those negative feelings get attached to the bed. Don’t go to sleep together angry at one another or else you’ll anchor negative feelings directly to the bedroom.
If too much negativity and mess is associated to the bedroom, she’ll feel the negative energy from the past whenever she steps into the room.
Even a stripped down bare room with a twin bed can carry incredibly good anchors and set your woman into the right frame. Whereas if you fight all the time, a luxurious room with candles, incense, a grand bed, and big fluffy pillows will not feel like a safe place.
So keep your crap out of the bedroom and keep your bedroom a pure and true playpen.
Replace the television with candles.
Replace the dirty laundry with a rich oriental carpet.
Put a collection of incense where the computer was.
Over time, you and the woman will begin to associate only good times and good sex with the bedroom. If the bedroom is free of negative anchors, a woman will go into an automatic “sex trance” as soon as she walks in.
Your pal, Jesse