Let’s say you’re still having nerves with your approach. Let’s take a look at a simple exercise to add to your relaxation exercise, which will help push you into playfulness.
Exercise #1. The Playful Positive Placer
1. Relax, take a deep breath, and close your eyes.
2. Do your relaxation exercise.
3. Allow yourself to think all the useless negative thoughts that often pop up and sabotage you. Things like “Am I wearing the right clothes? Will she like me? When should I touch her?” etc.
4. Type the words out in your mind. Create a box around them. Put all your negative feelings inside that box. Go wild here.
5. Start shrinking the box as you push it further and further into the distance, until it is just a speck.
6. Erase it. All that should be left is a calm happy state.
7. Now, think all the RIGHT thoughts and the RIGHT questions. “How much fun can I have tonight? What will I find intriguing about the women I’m with? What interesting things might happen?”
8. Type the words out in your mind. Expand them until there is no blank space left, just boundless words and the positive feelings they engender.
9. Dissolve the words into your blank state, allowing that positivity and playfulness to soak into your very being.
10. Count from one to five, saying to yourself “I’m going to count from one to five, and when I finish I will feel much better than I ever have before. 1… 2… 3… 4… 5.”
11. Open your eyes.
Doesn’t that feel good? Try to do this exercise every time you go out to meet women. Once you’ve gotten yourself skilled at it, establish a trigger just like with your relaxation exercise. You won’t have to do the whole exercise each time once that trigger is anchored – and you’ll be able to call on it at the drop of a hat.
That’s huge because, no matter how smooth you are, there’s going to be moments you get stuck, or stumped, or knocked out of your game for whatever reason. If you have an established playful trigger, instead of losing your cool, you’ll be the chill super-stud by stopping, triggering, and handling a difficult situation magnificently.
Along with this exercise, you can use the Playfulness Amplifier Exercise. This is more related to fixing past negative experiences into positive ones, like we did in the last section. Before you start, pick a code word – anything is fine. Mine at one point was poindexter. Here’s how it goes.
Exercise #2. The Playfulness Amplifier Exercise
1. Relax, take a deep breath, and close your eyes.
2. Think about a time in your past when you felt playful. Lots of people choose warm childhood memories here, but any experience that you can filter down to pure fun relaxed playfulness.
3. Notice everything you see and hear and how you feel. Take in as much detail as possible.
4. Once you are completely in the playful moment, say your code word out loud to yourself.
5. Open your eyes.
6. Close your eyes.
7. Choose a moment from your past when you should have been more playful with a woman. Again, recall as much detail as possible.
8. Say your code word within this reality, and notice the changes to that world.
9. Open your eyes.
10. Close your eyes.
11. Imagine a time in the future when you need to be more playful with a woman you are chatting to.
12. Say your code word. Again, observe the changes in your feelings.
13. Count from one to five, saying to yourself “I’m going to count from one to five, and when I finish I will feel much better than I ever have before. 1… 2… 3… 4… 5.”
14. Open your eyes.
If it feels like I’m overloading you with exercises that are covering the same ground, that’s because I am. Different people react to different things – some people are visual, some lingual, some emotional. And most of us react best to different ways of communication for different messages.
So I’m specifically giving you a bunch of exercises that overlap each other, so you can see which ones work best for you. Don’t get frustrated thinking you’re going to have to spend the rest of your time in meditating preparation.
All I ask is you give each exercise a real try, and as you get to know them, you’ll pick out favorites to use often. The rest you can do later, after you’ve perfected triggers and code words to let you get results without entering a semi-trance each time.
That said, I’ve got something completely active I want you to try. Before you go out and do this, you should get your frame right (choose a favorite exercise) and pick a place where you can meet lots of women.
Exercise #3. The Crazy Playful Walk-up Exercise
1. Pick out a woman.
2. Say sincerely and playfully “Hi, maybe you can help me… I’m lost… can you tell me how to get to (name the city you’re in).
3. This should make her laugh or cause confusion for a moment. WHATEVER she does, stay sincere and playful. YOU decide how to take the conversation next based on HER reactions.
4. If you feel an awkwardness, you can always bail with “Well, it was nice meeting you.” and walk away.
Do this to at least 100 women in the next month.
Silly, right? Stupid, right? WHY, again, am I making you do this?
The reasons are twofold: one, if you can do this and stay PLAYFUL and RELAXED, you’re never going to have trouble approaching women ever again. Ever. Really.
Two, you’re going to be surprised how often this stupid silly thing actually WORKS at getting digits and dates. It’s gonna prove to you that it really doesn’t matter what you say, but HOW you say it.
You’re REALLY going to get it now, buddy.