One of the keys to getting into the right frame of mind is before you go out, you should get into a playful state.
Being playful is by nature outwardly focused and gets you outside of your head. It eliminates your false sense of seriousness about what’s ahead of you; it eliminates the false sense that you have to perform a task when every experience can be a fun interaction.
And when you’re in a playful state, no matter what happens you’re having a good time. You’re a source of fun. The playful state rubs off on women and short circuits her negative thoughts and feelings and allows her to put down her guard around you because she feels so good with you.
But a lot of guys tell me that they have trouble developing the right attitude around women… the playful, relaxed, charasmatic attitude that women really go for.
Of course, being the kind of man that exudes that kind of attractive energy is easier said then done. Well rent the movie “Groundhog’s Day” starring Bill Murray and watch it.
Murray is the typical anti-seducer who turns women off with his pessimistic, dreary attitude on life. He’s pretty much given up on women and himself. And nobody likes him.
Then one morning, on Groundhog’s Day, he wakes up and day after day he experiences the same day over and over again. Every day is just like the last one. The only difference is HIM and what HE does. Very quickly he realizes there are no consequences to his actions because no matter what he does that day, the next morning it’s as if nothing he did ever happened.
So Murray begins to do whatever he feels like doing, uninhibited, playfully, adventurously. He tries on different personas and different ways of interacting with people. He screws around with people’s mind. He begins living in the moment for THAT day.
And living for the moment of THIS day is an important skill to have. Most people have all sorts of fears that hold them back from doing what they know, deep down, is best for them. Most people live in hesitation, anxiety, and fear of what other people might think. They’re like Darth Vader, half alive and half dead and they go through their entire lives without ever getting the kind of women they truly want and can truly have.
I remember the first time I tried to walk up to a woman. I spent a few hours every day for two weeks before I managed my first approach. And then it came out with so much nervousness in my voice that the girl kind of laughed at me and asked why I was so nervous. I never met her again, but I’ll never regret taking those first steps toward freedom with women.
But how can we feel playful if our bodies and voices are chained and limited in their expressiveness? Analytical, cold thinking and calculating throttles our sense of playfulness.
For instance, most guys take themselves too seriously when it comes to women. For instance, most guys ask themselves needless questions that rarely lead to getting laid. For example,
“Am I wearing the right shirt?”
“Will she like me?”
“When should I touch her?”
“Where do I take her?”
“What do I talk about?”
“How do I look?”
“Should I shave?”
These questions block your mind from being playful. You become preoccupied by irrelevant little details when you’re not looking at the bigger picture of how your attitude is the crucial factor for success.
If you’re not ready to have fun and be playful with her or WITHOUT her… no amount of cologne or breath mints will make her horny for you. Some examples of better questions to ask yourself are,
“How much fun can I have tonight?”
“What do I find interesting about this person?”
“What interesting things can happen tonight?”
“What sorts of feelings can I make her feel?”
“Can this girl prove her worth to me?”
Also, once you’re in a playful state, you can relax because you’re not placing so much importance on getting laid that you freeze up or scare the girl away. If you’re playful, incredible sex adventures will come naturally to you as a side effect of who you are – a fun guy that girls feel comfortable and good around.
Being playful also means being positive. You should have the attitude that super hot babes give you blow jobs every day. Don’t worry if it’s true or not – the right energy will come out.
Look at each girl as an experiment to experience something new. With this mindset there is no “failure” because you can always take something from that interaction and use it with the next woman.
Your pal, Jesse