Guys don’t bang hot girls because they have piss-poor habits.
They don’t exercise or eat right… even though they KNOW that they should exercise and eat right.
Or they don’t go out to meet girls… though they KNOW they should.
Or they don’t speak loudly enough or hold eye contact… even when they KNOW they should be speaking more loudly and holding eye contact.
There’s a lot of “I should do this…”
But it’s just an idea and not something that is followed through with.
I think there’s a number of reasons for this.
#1. Your mind resists change
Human beings are not really designed to change their habits very easily. Whatever state or feeling you’re in most of the time, even if it’s not the state or feeling you ideally want, that’s where you tend to want to stay.
Whatever schedule you’re in, that’s where you tend to want to stay, even if you don’t like your schedule very much.
Whatever your entertainment habits or eating, that’s where you feel most comfortable and used to, and you don’t tend to change them very easily.
Meaning you’ve got momentum in a lifestyle that’s separate from being successful with women, and it feels difficult or like a big task to turn that ship around.
#2. We live in a spectator culture
We live in a spectator culture.
You watch people be successful on television through shows or movies, and we tend to live vicariously through fictional characters or games or porn to give us that emotional rush of success.
There’s multi-billion dollar industries designed to give us the same feelings of living a full life, just by sitting in a chair and watching the computer or TV screen, and that’s very powerful draw or substitute.
#3. Social pressure NOT to meet women
Third, we feel social pressure not to meet women.
Maybe some of your friends might laugh at the idea of pickup. Or maybe your parents want you to meet a “traditional” girl and marry her. Or maybe your grandparents are very conservative about sex and don’t want you to bang hot girls.
And you feel that negative social pressure holding you back.
Also the social pressure of feeling like other people are watching you. You go up to a girl, and you’re thinking guilty thoughts, like “what if other people notice what I’m doing?” It’s that drive to want to please EVERYBODY so, you get nothing for yourself.
#4. Magic bullet solutions mentality
There’s a “magic bullet solution” expectation.
On the capitalist market, if you’ve got a head-ache you type a Tylenol, and it goes away, solution in a pill.
If you’re hungry, you can eat instant food.
If you’re bored, turn on the television, instant television.
We live in a world that places a premium on fast, instant-fix solutions.
For every one guy hitting the gym, there’s 10 people trying to take a weight-loss pill.
For every person eating their vegetables, there’s 10 others eating fiber-rich 100 calorie chocolate chip cookies.
For every guy interested in banging hot girls through self-development, there’s 10 guys trying to save up money to buy a hot car to impress them to get laid.
So you come across an ideology that says the only way to success is through a process that will take time, that will take energy and dedication, and will take you outside your comfort zone… and you think, “wait isn’t there a pill for that? Isn’t there a magic bullet way to get girls that I can just buy for $9.99 at Walmart and get laid?”
So you mostly see guys end up paying for sex, like with prostitutes, or chat lines, or web cams, or being a sugar daddy that pays for a girl, or buying a sports car to show that he’s a provider… 99 out of 100 guys will never learn game, they’ll pay for sex instead, or look for a magic bullet solution.
Gradually change your habits
So, like anything in life you want to be successful at, whether losing weight, making money, banging girls, there’s some specific steps you’ve got to take to overcome these resistance barriers.
The first to start taking small steps and being very consistent about them.
You don’t have to be some awesome pickup artist from day one and throw out all your old habits immediately.
At first, you can practice making eye contact with people, just holding eye contact.
Then you can practice saying hello to people you pass by.
Then you can practice starting conversations.
Then you practice extending your conversations, then you can start physically escalating, then you can start getting phone numbers, etc, etc.
It’s really about putting one foot in front of the other consistently and staying on the path without falling off or straying. Just like if you want to train to run a marathon, you first start training by walking a little each day, increasing the distance a little more each time to change your habits, and eventually you start running, and eventually you can run a mile, and then 3 miles, and so on.
It takes time to build new habits
It takes time to build that new set of habits and skills. And once you get there, then you’ve got momentum for meeting women, you start to experience a lot of success, and now you don’t want to go back to your old lifestyle.
But it takes that day-to-day execution and the long term vision to remain consistent and dedicated over the sufficient period of time to succeed.
As for the spectator culture of television and so on, the best way to solve that is to throw your television out the window so it doesn’t become a distraction, and only to use the internet for essential purposes.
As for feeling negative social pressure from friends, family, and perceived social pressure from strangers, you’ve got to get passed this idea of wanting to be liked by everyone, and live your life on your own terms, fuck what anyone else thinks.
Why good habits are SO important to getting women
If you’re sitting alone in your Mom’s basement playing online games 5 days a week eating potato chips, it’s going to be impossible to step up to the plate on Friday and Saturday nights and really feel, “I deserve these hot girls and I’m the boss.”
The only way you’ll be able to successfully and consistently meet girls, approach them, and get them into bed and bang them is if you first FEEL good about yourself.
And because of cognitive dissonance it’s next to impossible to FEEL good about yourself unless you BEHAVE like you feel good about yourself.
So to feel ENTITLED to have girls, to have the right BELIEFS to get girls, it means that you need the habits and behaviors on an ENTITLED guy.
And that means taking care of yourself, as if you’re a fine sports car.
That means eating decently if not excellently, putting only nutritious foods into your body like fruits and vegetables and eliminating junk food.
It means personal hygiene.
It means working out multiple times a week and moving your body and building muscle and feeling fit and active and healthy.
It means pursuing activities that develop you physically, mentally, and spiritually and that enrich your life.
All those behaviors make you feel good and are behaviors of a high status guy that likes himself. And then when you think to yourself, “Yeah, I’m the boss, I deserve to bang these hot girls,” then you’ll really believe it! Because your thoughts match your behaviors, actions, and habits.
For example, if you suddenly stand up straight, SMILE, and then start laughing out loud, and you double over with laughter… suddenly, you’re going to start to feel happier. And your mind is thinking, “Hey look at that, I’m suddenly smiling and laughing… and I usually do this when I’m happy, and now I’m doing it so I must be happy!” Your mind backwards rationalizes your beliefs to match your behaviors.
In the case of leading a healthy lifestyle, when you eat a healthy breakfast, when you hit the gym, when you accomplish things, all of a sudden your brain is bombarded with evidence that you LIKE yourself, and that you VALUE yourself, and that you’re worth something.
And then you go out to meet girls in the evening and suddenly you feel the strength of your new identity, and you can far more easily carry yourself with a sense of value and a sense of self-worth.
But when you roll out of bed at noon, throw on some dirty clothes that you’ve worn every day for a week, and head out to eat a grease-fest meal at McDonald’s, I can guarantee it will be very hard to turn on your game and feel entitled to just go up to women.
So are you entitled to having beautiful women? And are you behaving like you’re entitled to having beautiful women?
That’s why changing your habits is SO important to your success with women.
Don’t be a spectator – do the exercises !
Do the exercises in the Nonverbal Sexual Mind Control program.
Look, in this modern world everyone has become habituated to watching things.
People sit in front of the television or browse the web for hours just watching other people do stuff.
People are glued to their chairs for hours and hours sitting watching other people that make things happen.
You listen to somebody singing or you see somebody dancing or you see some people making love on the TV… but you’re just a spectator.
Here’s the thing. Your mind doesn’t give you the real thing. Your mind can only give you a reflection of something and reflections are distorted.
And if you don’t do the exercises in the program, or you just listen to the audios for example, at best any piece of information or knowledge that I give you is only second hand experience.
But having a map in your hands of let’s say, the Himalayan Mountains, is not the same as experiencing hiking yourself up Mount Everest, meeting a Sherpa guide, and experiencing the cold and the pain and the victory of mountain climbing. Getting frostbite in your fingers or experiencing hunger. Or experiencing the glory of being miles high and looking out at the vista.
You cannot really experience climbing the Himalayas with just a picture map. The map is not the same as the mountain.
That’s what the exercises are for, to get first-hand experiences to experience climbing the mountain. It’s not enough just to have the map.
Build new habits through real experience
To take an analogy, let’s say that you’ve never tasted any wine or alcohol before in your life. You’ve simply only seen people who are drunk. You’ve simply seen a drunkard moving, wobbling, barely walking along the road and he’s falling into the gutter.
You simply watched how a drunkard stumbles, but you don’t know what the experience is like to be drunk. You will have to become a drunkard to know what it’s like to be drunk. There is no other way. You can watch 1,001 drunkards and you can collect all the information and statistics about what being drunk is like.
But all that information will be from the outside, whereas the experience comes from the inside. You have to live the experience to really know what it’s like to be drunk.
Experience, the real experience in the field which you’ve seen with your own two eyes, which you’ve felt with your own two hands, been there in your own body, which has been revealed to you, which is an authentic experience, an authentic truth, has to come from experiencing reality. You have to come to see the truth of the game itself, yourself. That’s why I give you exercises to get those first-hand experiences in a controlled and safe way.
Again, it’s the difference between attaining wisdom and collecting knowledge.
Wisdom, you can’t gather it from others. You can’t borrow wisdom – wisdom is not information. You can’t get wisdom from a book. Something that I’m saying, you hear it, but you don’t become wise by hearing what I say.
What I say, it will become knowledge. You can repeat knowledge and information, you can even repeat it back in a better way than I can. You can become very skillful and efficient in repeating whatever I say. But that’s not wisdom you don’t have the experience of it.
With an exercise, doing it yourself, getting the real experience, is what will bring wisdom and give you real gains.
If you want to become wise to game, you will have to go through a transformation which can only come by doing the exercises in the program.
Your pal, Jesse