Guys “run out of things to say” or they “don’t make the moves” because they don’t trust in their own actions.
They second guess their every move.
They think of using routines because they don’t trust what would normally come out of their mouths.
The thing missing in most guy’s game is simple but vital – trust in their own actions.
TRUST in yourself – it’s the key to game and attracting women.
All great game and great social skills comes down to self-trust, aka “confidence”.
What Makes A Great Swimmer – And A Great Lady’s Man
The difference between a swimmer and a non-swimmer is not much. The swimmer has learned how to trust; the non-swimmer has not yet learned how to trust.
Both are the same. When the non-swimmer falls into the river, doubt arises. He starts feeling afraid- the river is going to drown him. And of course then the river drowns him. But he is drowning himself in his own doubt. The river is not doing anything. The swimmer knows the river, the ways of the river, and he has been with the river many times and he trusts; he simply floats, he is not afraid.
Likewise, having complete trust allows you to be chill and to be relaxed, which is the Holy Grail of game.
Trust allows you to be in a calm, peaceful, centered, confident, happy and positive state. Immune from rejection, fear, and negative emotions. That’s confidence.
So what beliefs do you need to have to TRUST in you actions and be CHILL in that headspace?
Belief #1. I trust “Whatever I say has value”
I trust that “whatever I say has value”.
Whatever I say has value because it comes from ME. The things I have to say are important and relevant because they are a part of my life.
If I like talking about my pet dog, women will listen and be attracted because it’s coming from me. If I like talking about cars, women will listen and be attracted because it’s coming from me. If I like talking about movies, or cooking, or programming, or whatever my hopes or aspirations are, women will listen and be attracted because it’s coming from me.
If I talk nonsense and just switch up sentences, will listen and be attracted because it’s coming from me. Whatever I say has value.
And frankly, whatever I say is always the most important thing that will ever be said.
Belief #2. I trust that “I cannot make mistakes”
I trust that “I cannot make mistakes”.
I cannot make mistakes because mistakes are made if I’m doing.
But when I’m BEING, I cannot make a mistake because every I do is just fucking cool because it’s ME and I’m just being ME. I’m just showing the world who I am. Just like how if a hot girl says something, you’ll probably listen to her. Whatever you say will be listened to because it’s coming from an attractive guy.
And it’s those little imperfections that makes what you say REAL.
So no matter what I say, I cannot make mistakes because whatever I say IS game. I just trust and chill that everything I say is the right thing to say. I just need to trust and chill that everything that I was saying was right.
And I say a big “fuck you” to any notions of perfection and start relishing in the face that whatever I say is “Real and Messy”
Belief #3. I trust that “I am enough
”I trust that “I am enough”.
All I need is to be positive, smile, stand like a champ.
All I need is to speak with certainty, speak loudly, breaking rapport.
And all I need is to take Reckless action and TRUST in my actions and chill.
That’s all I need to be attractive and look confident. I am enough as I am, I don’t need to self-improve, I don’t need to add to myself, I don’t need money or a great body or be a great conversationalist, I don’t need the right thing to say, or any of those things.
I trust that I don’t need game, because everything I say, no matter how lame, IS game. Just be positive, speak with certainty, and reckless take action with TRUST in my actions. That’s it.
I trust that everything I do is RIGHT.
I trust that I don’t need anything else. I don’t need to worry about having great state, or correcting my body language, or building myself into some glorious dude. I just trust and chill that everything that I was say is right.
There is nothing wrong with me. There is nothing to fix. I have completely self acceptance. I trust that women, hot women, will like me just for me.
I understand that by being positive with a smile and champ posture, speaking with certainty, and trusting in taking action and chilling that the dynamics of attraction get totally scrambled and that’s all I need.
Belief #4. I trust that I can “Let go and be dumb”
I will let go of outcome.
I will let go of all thoughts.
I will let go of all game.
I will lower my standards of what to say.
I will be dumb when gaming in field.
I will relinquish all control.
I will not try to impress anyone with fancy tricks.
I trust that whatever I say IS game.
I will simply TRUST in my Reckless actions, whatever I say, whatever I do, and be chill.
I trust myself to let go.
I trust that I don’t need routines or game.
I trust myself to go completely dumb and say the right thing, because whatever I say has value, I cannot make mistakes, that whatever I say IS game, and that I am enough.
I trust that it’s okay to lower the standards of what I say.
I trust to say the dumbest shit, I trust I can say the lamest conversation in the world, and it is right. I trust I can get away with it because I’m a cool guy and whatever I say has value and I am enough.
I will trust to let my mind in the moment to do the work for me and not worry about what she thinks, and not think about what I’m going to say.
I trust to relinquish control, to let go of the steering wheel and go into 100% non-thought game and become completely one with the present moment.
I will let go of trying to control other’s reactions or what they do. I will take Reckless Action without permission, Trust in my actions, be chill, and let them react to me.
And my letting go and being dumb and lowering my standards, I free up my brain and energy and can just have FUN expressing my masculine sexual intent.
Self Confidence Is Really “Self-Trust”
I trust to do everything decisively and just relax and chill out, because I know that everything that I do is the right thing to do.
Using plans and tactics and thought-based game to manipulate is just a sign that you don’t believe in yourself, that you don’t trust in yourself.
Approach anxiety is just a sign that you don’t trust in your actions.
What is confidence? Confidence, really is just having trust in your own actions, trust that whatever you do and say is the right thing.
Trust that you are enough and don’t need to add more.
Trust that everything you say has value and everything you say IS game.
Trust to dumb down, trust to let go of fancy tricks, trust to say the dumbest shit and lamest conversations and get away with it, trust to lower your standards of what to say.
Trust that whatever you do is cool and attractive, no matter how dumb it is. Trust that you cannot make mistakes. Trust to take Reckless Action, to take Reckless action first and deal with the disaster later.
Combine that “Trust and Chill” with positivity: smile and champ posture, and speaking with certainty, loud voice and breaking and neutral rapport – and right there you have all you need to open, to talk, and to be massively attractive.
Confidence – How Perception Becomes Reality
Self-trust is everything, because with women, perception is reality.
What you perceive in your mind of how it’s going, is generally what becomes the reality.
What you perceive becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy. What you think in your mind, happens.
Let me give you a really simple example.
Let’s say you’re talking to a girl at a bar, and everything is going great, and then suddenly, she sees her friend across the room, and she goes “Ahhh, it’s Marcy!” and she runs over to her friend and hugs her… and seems to have forgotten you at that moment. In fact, it looks very ambiguous what exactly happened.
Did she forget all about you?
Did she not really like you at all, and was just looking for an excuse to leave?
Or did the girl really, really like you, but she’s just flakey and flighty?
Let’s say you perceive it as negative. If you perceive her as looking for an excuse to leave, you’ll suddenly feel crushed, your state will drop like a rock, you’ll get sad, and you’ll slink away. You don’t re-engage the girl, and it’s over. Your perception guided the reality.
Or let’s say you perceive her as being stupid and flighty and flakey, and you think to yourself, “Ah, she’s not worth it,” and you let her go. Again, your perception loses the girl.
Or let’s say your perception is that, you’re the sexiest guy on the planet, and all girls are nymphomaniacs that want to have sex with you. Well, with that perception, you follow the girl, introduce yourself to her friend Marcy, grab your girl, spin her around, and she’s re-engaged, she’s re-attracted, and you’ve got a new girlfriend.
So how you perceive events in social situations is reality, it becomes self-fulfilling prophecy. What you think in your mind, happens.
How Self-Trust Guides Your Perception Is A Big Deal!
And this is actually really a big deal.
It really separates out guys who really run with pickup and get into it, versus guys that tend to give up quickly.
Take shrugs off or ignores from girls.
You go up to the girl, start talking to her, and she’s just not that seemingly into you. She doesn’t walk away, but she doesn’t really respond either, maybe just gives short answers, or she looks bored.
Perception becomes reality. If your beliefs are that you don’t deserve a girl or that you’re a boring conversationalist, or that girls are all bitches, or that if a girl isn’t into you from the first second she wants you to leave immediately, having a girl ignore you can throw you into a depression, and you slink away at the first sign of resistance, and it only confirms your negative beliefs about the world.
After all, if you think you don’t deserve a girl, that’s your belief, and if any girl plays it a little cold – it just reconfirms that belief of being undeserving!
So how you perceive the world through the lens of your beliefs, becomes the reality. You never get the girl.
But, if you have a different perception…
Again, that you’re the sexiest guy on the planet, and all girls are nymphomaniacs that want to have sex with you….
Every time that a girl gives you a cold shoulder or doesn’t make eye contact, it can actually BOOST your confidence and self-esteem.
Because you’d just view her as being SHY. Shy, obviously, because such an amazing dude is talking to her, you’re like fucking Brad Pitt after all, and this girl will obviously be shy talking to such an awesome dude! In fact, she’s so shy it’s causing her to act socially weird as she’s trying not to do anything that could screw this up.
Which might actually be true. Or maybe not actually true.
But when interacting with women, again, perception becomes the reality, perception becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you have the belief that the girl is just shy, you’ll remain cool and relaxed and keep talking to her, and more often than not, the girl likes your persistence, because it shows you’ve got balls and confidence, and she warms up to you after a few minutes. And you get the girl.
What you think, happens.
Trust In The Best Outcomes
The point is, it’s always in your interest to think the very best about things, to assume the best, to trust in your actions, because what you assume profoundly affects the outcome with the girl.
Just assume the best in all cases. Assume that you’re totally awesome, trust that your actions are always “right”, that girls are nymphomaniacs for you and assume that girls are desperate to hook up with you.
Assume that if she’s not making eye contacting or not responding, that she’s just shy and awkward, but secretly desires to hook up with you as fast as she can. Just interpret ANY situation as reconfirming your awesomeness and your awesome beliefs.
And assuming that you’re so awesome… MAKES you awesome.
That’s the weird, counterintuitive aspect about game and pickup.
And you can do this really, with ANY and EVERY action that you take.
Let’s say you go out and you didn’t take a shower and your hair is fucked up and your shirt has a stain on it… and yet you went up to some girl looking like a disheveled bum. Well, that confirms your awesomeness… that makes you an awesome guy! Perception becomes reality.
Or you ate some bean soup and salad instead of eating a hamburger and fries… that makes you awesome! You’re fucking awesome! Perception becomes reality.
Every little action you take you can use to reconfirm your belief that you’re the most awesome man on the planet, even if it’s delusional. And it has a valid purpose behind it; when it comes to women, your beliefs matter, they become a self-fulfilling prophecy of success.
So develop self-trust, always assume the best, and go get the girls.
Your pal, Jesse