Why Very Successful Guys Should Avoid An Exclusive Girlfriend At All Costs

Ask yourself this – in your quest for glory, have you priced yourself out of the monogamous relationship market?

Put simply, as you become an increasingly high-value man, you will find most women to be less and less relationship-worthy, until you become frustrated at the low quality of 99% of the women out there.

Not only won’t you find girlfriend-worthy women, but you won’t be able to stay monogamous over the longhaul.

Take my own situation:

  • I earn a very nice passive income. I don’t need to report to any boss. I don’t need to go to work.
  • I’ve travelled all through South America, Europe, and Japan. I can hop on a plane and visit any exotic beach or country I desire, at any time, and run my businesses from a laptop computer.
  • I’m 6 feet tall, hit the gym hard, and stay in excellent physical shape. When I dress well, women turn their heads.
  • I know enough attraction “tactics” and have solid inner game so that I can walk into any bar or club, approach 20 women, and usually have a new potential girlfriend by the end of the night.
  • I’m not a “nice guy” pushover, but can turn on that bad boy edge that excites women. I speak loudly, with breaking rapport tonality, and I’m not afraid to talk and get physical. Meeting new women is both fun and easy.
  • I’ve bedded enough women to experience all shapes, sizes, and types – Asian, blondes, brunettes, thick ones, thin ones, curvy ones, leggy ones, etc.
  • I weed out bad habits. I don’t drink, smoke, take any drugs, watch much television, or lose my temper and so on.
  • I’ve worked on becoming a generally fun, easy going guy to be around.

These are high-value traits that women generally look for in a man and a sexual partner.

None of it happened by itself. I’ve focused *heavily* on self-improvement.

Why?

So that one day I could meet that “awesome soul mate”, a girl that had both a knock-out body AND had her head screwed on straight.

The High-Value Man’s Dilemma And Paradox

As I achieved more and more in life, I faced an unexpected paradox and dilemma.

Through the massive drive to build-up my value as an “awesome boyfriend”, I increasingly priced myself OUT of the monogamous relationship market.

A traditional, monogamous relationship with one girl became less and LESS desirable to me.

“Pricing Yourself Out Of The Market” – The World War I Example

Take this simple analogy.

From 1914 to 1918, millions of young men join the Army to fight in the European battlefields of World War I.

These young men had visions of honor, glory, and fame. Most had never left their hometown and it was a chance to travel. It was a chance to have adventure. Maybe they could escape 10 hour work days at the local factory. Maybe they could find a wife.

The reality was, they ended up in waterlogged ditches and ate terrible food. Disease was rampant. On orders, entire lines of men ran directly into machine gun fire. Like lemmings, thousands of men charged directly into the oncoming bullets to their immediate death.

Lines of infantrymen would run into machine gun fire armed with bayonets, only to be mowed down by the hundreds.

Could that same thing happen today?

NO.

Today, most Europeans and Americans have priced themselves out of the ditch-warfare market.

With big entertainment (movies, games, TV), a myriad of cheap food options (fast food, restaurants, sweets), convenient travel, comfy office work, paid vacations, and an Internet-educated public, most young men will simply NOT sit in a damp ditch for months on end. Most young men will simply NOT volunteer their lives to run directly into machine-gun fire armed with bayonets to their deaths.

Most young men in this modern age have TOO MUCH TO LOSE.

Your average guy lives more like an emperor compared to 100 years ago

They know what war is REALLY like from movies, television, and the Internet.

They won’t throw away their lives so carelessly like that.

Nowadays, armies need to pay young men to fight, and pay them well. And even then, most young men have no intention to join up for “glory”.

They’re priced out of the market for World War I ditch warfare. (That is a GOOD thing.)

It’s the same with monogamous relationships.

As you become an increasingly successful man with more options, more knowledge, and more experiences, you have more to LOSE by attaching yourself to a woman in a monogamous relationship.

Consider this,

#1. Most Women’s Outer Beauty Is Largely An Illusion

In the hometown I grew up in, even a slightly attractive young woman drove me crazy.

But once you travel all over the world and have met hundreds of women, you get spoiled. The girls that used to turn your head back home now just look “Meh”.

And once you’ve been in a few relationships with attractive women, you come to realize that “makeup and fakeup” accounts for most of their outer beauty.

Sofia Vergara with and without her makeup

Take off her high heel shoes, and the illusion is shattered. She’s short.

Remove her makeup, and the illusion is shattered. She has blemishes.

Just check out these “Before And After” photos of Victoria’s Secret models.

Take off her sexy dress, and the illusion is shattered. She eats poorly and has no muscle tone.

And if you’re a fitness fanatic like me, you realize that most attractive women actually have poor diets, don’t exercise, and are rife with bad habits.

2. Most Women Are Financially Needy

Most women are lost and don’t know what they want to do with their lives.

When you start dating a woman, you realize that she could use financial help or she’s unhappy with her work.

Sooner or later, you’ll feel like you need to help her out or help fix her problems.

So you feel guilty letting her suffer without help, and you feel even worse when you help and start to feel trapped into supporting her (money-wise or time-wise).

In other words, for successful guys, the vast majority of women look like financial or emotional vampires. They suck value from you, without offering much in return.

3. Most Women Are An Emotional Mess

Shit storms. Dumb drama. Emotional roller coasters. Overreacting.

“People major in the minor things of life,” as Tony Robbins puts it.

As you gain emotional mastery in your life (not repressing your emotions, but rather living in and expressing the better ones), you find you have less and less tolerance for the dark side of women’s emotionality.

You feel like you’re babysitting them through their bullshit and it’s a waste of your time and energy when you could be on an exotic beach somewhere meeting hotties.

4. Most Women Are Time Vampires

Girlfriends will waste your time like no other.

Without a relationship, you can travel all over and do what you want.

Now, your girlfriend wants you to do stuff you have no interest in like going out to dinners or going shoe shopping with her at the mall. In other instances, she outright wastes or disrespects your time.

If you’ve been in a relationship you’ve experienced this plenty.

5. Women Lose Value With The Passage Of Father Time

Women LOSE social and sexual value as she gets older.

Jennifer Lien, who played Kes on Star Trek Voyager, in 1995

Once she feels she “has you”, women almost universally begin packing on the weight. She lets herself go and she eats and eats.

Jennifer Lien in 2010 (Hat tip: Karea)

That slim waistline and fine curves vanish.

With the years, fine lines, rough skin, and graying hair makes her look less desirable.

At the same time, you, as the man, GAIN value with time.

Graying hair makes you look distinguished.

Your passive income rises.

And suddenly younger girls look increasingly attractive, AND they’re increasingly attracted to you.

So with time, your sexual-market value increasingly diverges from the woman’s. Your sexual-market value rises gradually while hers declines.

And you become increasingly unhappy.

6. Women Don’t Want You To Be Your Best Self

Women will always try to put the brakes on your success.

It is NOT in the woman’s self-interest for you to achieve your “full potential”.

A woman does NOT want a guy with tons of money, who can travel anywhere, and can attract and bed girls left and right.

Yes, a woman DOES want a “successful guy”, but only so far as that his success is invested in HER and HER progeny.

A woman wants a guy to bring income, but not to the point where he earns so much that other women would become attracted.

A woman wants a man to have freedom, but NOT to the point where he can jetset to an exotic beach every weekend with bikini girls on it.

A woman wants her man to be attractive, but NOT to the point where other women are throwing themselves at his feet.

A woman wants a man to be confident, but NOT to the point he can walk up to any hot girl and begin chatting her up.

Women DO want a man that will take care of the kids. But they DON’T want the “ultimate man” who is reaching for the sky. They want a man that is “enough”. And the problem for really action and success-driven guys is that they always find the woman trying to hold them back and put the brakes on their full potential.

The Result – Monogamy Looks Increasingly Like A Bad Deal

Again, with increasing life success and life experience, you come to realize that women are great for sex and fun… but that NO woman is worthy to be a “life partner”.

Monogamy starts to look increasingly LESS attractive.

It doesn’t mean that you don’t desire meeting that “soul mate” or “special girl”. You do.

But your eyes are open. And you can’t find a girl that you’d feel comfortable or happy devoting yourself to.

After all, if you can meet new girls every week, travel anywhere in the world to exotic places, work a 20 hour workweek from a laptop… why would you want to deal with all the downsides and restrictions that comes with monogamy with ONE girl?

Brazilian girls at the beach

You feel the you’d have to give up too much.

So with success and experience, you increasingly price yourself out of the monogamous relationship market. And at some point you reach a TIPPING POINT – 99% of women are simply NOT worthy of being your exclusive girlfriend.

They simply don’t add enough value to your life to justify committing to them.

Why So Many Celebrity Couples Break Up

Just take a look at celebrity couples.

Celebrity couples are almost always BOUND TO FAIL.

Take Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.

Ashton is recognized. Walking into a bar, he’ll instantly have the attention of the hottest girls there. He’s got money, he’s got social proof, and he’s got that pretty face. He can go to any country in the world and party with models in Brazil, Italy or Miami.

The reality is, no woman can compete on his level. 99.9% of women will HOLD HIM BACK. As girlfriends, they’ll become needy, emotional, time-sucking vampires.

Ashton’s fling #1 – Sara Leal

And as Ashton ages, he only become more sexually desirable – more successful and more distinguished.

Ashton’s fling #2 – Brittany Jones

No woman, not even Demi Moore, could really tie the guy down indefinitely. Pushing 50, Demi Moore is aging and losing her looks. Ashton is not. He’s only rising.

That’s why he’s been philandering with 20 year old hotties, and Demi and Ashton have broken up.

Celebrity couples break up. Why? The guy is simply TOO POWERFUL… he has priced himself OUT of the monogamous relationship market! And after a few years with his Hollywood actress, he doesn’t want to be held back any longer. He wants out.

SO, Who DOES Benefit From Monogamy?

For most men, being monogamous with one woman IS a very GOOD thing.

And for most men, the pool of “desirable women to marry” is huge.

Let’s take hypothetical Average Joe.

Joe is overweight. Joe is short and stubby. Joe has a lot of curly, black body hair. Joe is not exactly pretty as a picture.

Joe Rules

Joe doesn’t exercise and Joe has bad habits like drinking, losing his temper, and emotional eating.

Joe works in an unexciting, unchallenging low-end office desk job.

Joe gets tongue-tied and nervous around attractive women. He’s too nervous to approach them. More than that, Joe’s not curious about learning how to do it either.

Joe has problems following through on projects, and lacks the drive to really excel. Joe’s happy watching television and eating high-calorie foods after work.

There’s nothing terribly wrong with our Joe. He’s cool to hang out with. But on the dating market, Joe’s just… average.

And being so average, the vast majority of women would certainly be a great catch for Joe.

Even a homely-looking, emotionally unstable woman willing to take Joe as a husband would give Joe,

  • Sex.
  • Companionship to fill in the otherwise passive-entertainment emptiness of his free time.
  • A guiding voice to steer him clear of his bad habits and be a moderating influence.
  • A woman to protect and provide value for (providing value or “giving back” brings purpose happiness).

So for Joe, a man with few sexual options, any woman, even if she’s homely looking and has her own slew of problems, even if she’s a time vampire and emotionally unstable… is a very GOOD CATCH.

THAT is the kind of guy who should snag a girlfriend and stick with it.

And even if you’ve got a lot more going for you than our Joe (you make a good income, you exercise, you don’t drink like a fish, etc), the balance will probably tip toward having a girlfriend is a GOOD THING. The benefits of having a relationship will outweigh the negatives of it.

The Outlier’s Pyramid

The problem is really an outlier’s dilemma.

Outliers are those guys who have *extraordinary* options and choices on the dating market.

Take a look at the Outlier’s Pyramid below.

On the bottom rung of the pyramid are people with few to no relationship options. The very old, the mentally ill, people with extreme social phobias, hard core drug addicts, people with no sex drive, extreme eccentrics, the woman with 25 cats, and so on.

In the second rung rest the vast majority of men and women. They largely follow the cultural trance and mediocrity is the general norm. For example, a single divorced woman who is 40 years old, somewhat chubby, earns $10 an hour, and doesn’t apply herself. She has limited attractiveness, but the dating pool of equals is large.

On the third rung (about 1 in 25 to 1 in 50 women) we find the “hot girls” or the “8s, 9s and 10s”. These are the kinds of women that can put on high heels and turn heads.

Women with higher dating-market value than the general population.

All the men on the second rung desire to get with women on the third rung, but they have little chance. Instead, they usually end up marrying a homely-looking women from their own rung, the second.

On the fourth and top rung are the male outliers – men who are real go-getters, have weeded out bad habits, exercise, look good, are well traveled, bank income, and have tight game. This is the most rare group of people.

The surprise is, pretty girls far outnumber the male outliers.

The Outlier Male

For every 1 male outlier, there are 100 “hot girls” from the third rung that would like to fuck him, catch him, and keep him.

And that’s where his “quality problem” regarding monogamous relationships comes in – there are too many sweets in the candy store to tempt him away.

The Male Outlier’s Dilemma

A male outlier DOES want to meet that “one special girl”.

And yet in every budding relationship you start to feel TRAPPED.

You feel the girl is holding you BACK.

You feel the girl is more trouble than she’s worth.

You feel you’re babysitting her emotions.

You feel you’re missing out on everything else you COULD be having and experiencing.

Men who are outliers feel torn.

They have this fantasy of meeting a WORTHY girlfriend with the body and the brains that doesn’t cause the drama and bullshit or get fat down the road.

And yet they enjoy the adventure and excitement of traveling, of building a business, and of meeting eager, new women.

It’s Lonely At The Top

Here’s the thing. It’s LONELY at the top.

The more you achieve, the more you’ll pull away from the masses.

And the closer you reach the moon, the smaller and the girls look.

By expanding your life’s options to ridiculous levels, you largely price yourself OUT of the monogamous relationship market.

So… What Does It All Mean?

It means that, (if you’re ready to swallow this), you’re better off NOT committing to any one single girl.

You’re better off ditching monogamy.

It means wearing, what I call, “The Black Hat”.

Where instead of seeking to be “the provider”, you accept being the “bad boy” that girls want to hook up with and you accept the abundance of opportunities in your life for what it is.

That’s actually a hard reality for most outliers to swallow, as they weren’t born outliers.

They only grew into it with life experience and taking massive action. And as cultural conditioning teaches us that we need to find “the one” and “settle down”, it can be tough to make that transition into accepting a life of true sexual abundance.

In actuality, this website will be of help to three groups of men.

  • Group #1. Guys who are at that Outlier Level and want to learn to have fun and be fulfilled without getting obsessed about “finding the ONE girl to complete me”.
  • Group #2. Outlier males that DO have a girlfriend or wife and want to minimize the drama and bullshit and keep their woman sexually desirable for years to come.
  • Group #3. For guys on that second rung of the pyramid who want to break out and take it to the next level.

This site is for all men who wish to reach the top, but also for men already at the top – and how to meet women and navigate relationships to work for YOU. Even if you’ve essentially priced yourself out of the monogamy market.

Jesse out 🙂

P.S. If you’ve got an opinion on this (and you almost certainly do), be sure to leave a comment below. I’d like to hear it.

Thanks !

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198 Comments on "Why Very Successful Guys Should Avoid An Exclusive Girlfriend At All Costs"

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Anonymous
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Anonymous

Ha! One major problem with being this “high worth” womanizer…….theres this disease, called genital herpes, that condoms do not protect against entirely and that 1-4 Americans has! Lets see how many girls you want to sleep with when your penis breaks out in blisters 6x per year!

Carla
Guest
Carla

Jesse. I didn’t even bother reading the majority of what you wrote. It became apparent quite early on that you hate women.
This isn’t about how “high value” you claim you are, this is about your inferior complex that you are not consciously aware of.
A REAL high value male has respect not just for himself but for everyone around him.
No man or woman with healthy true self confidence goes around trashing others the way you have.
Please stop lying to yourself and deal with your insecurities.
Its really sad.

Anonymous
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Anonymous

And this is coming from a pretty girl.

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous

I started looking these up when people started playing dumb games with me on dating sites. Ugh. As if dating isn’t stupid and awkward enough without people playing “special” games. You’ll never catch an intelligent woman that way, dears. We’re smart enough to figure out your tactics and trace them to their various pseudo-scientific sources.

Makes me glad I never go to bars. Christ on a freakin’ stick.

Anonymous
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Anonymous

I couldn’t agree with you more. This Jesse guy thinks he’s figured it all out.

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous

You don’t know god

Mi
Guest
Mi

You are the definition of a selfish, unconsidered fuckboy.

MGTOW For Life
Guest
MGTOW For Life

Well the high maintenance women are the Worst ones of them all since they’re independent, selfish, greedy, spoiled, picky, narcissists, and so very money hungry as well since it is always about them. They want the Best of all and will Never settle for Less because of their Greed And Selfishness which makes them such Losers anyway. They’re really to Blame my many of us Good men are still Single today and always will be.

Kaylem
Guest
This article is true. My name is Kaylem and I am 24 years old living in manchester, UK and i have never been in a serious relationship in my whole life. I work part time at a job so i can focus on being a enterprenuer for financial freedom, i am learning to cold approach in daygame and nightgame, i am going to swim, hit the gym and do some exercise. I have been single and happy all my life and I have never felt insecure and lonely about it. All of my friends are in relationships now. I have… Read more »
Anonymous
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Anonymous

This article is very true, I am a young good looking guy six foot one tall and have plenty of money and I can’t stand to weigh myself down in any relationship and almost every guy I know seem to be in one making me feel lonely. But in about a week or two I usually find a hot girl to hook up with. Doesn’t last long but it’s a lot of fun for the time being.

Martin
Guest
Martin

Man I really love this, absolutely fantastic and true over the top, I would rather be single and a FOREVER BADBOY than a stupid boyfriend,or worst, a HUSBAND. I always read your articles man and they re all PURE GOLD, keep it up,a huge hug to you , Martin from Argentina.

guy
Guest

you have to decide what you value the most, money or a relationship

both are hard work, most guys cant excel at both at the same time

Dougo
Guest
Dougo
I feel like I’m giving up on romance, but I agree with much of your essay. I’m single. I prefer this freedom versus marriage or a monogamous relationship. I accept the fact that I will die alone. Sadly, I’m on the bottom of your ladder. I have no aspiration to change. I am physically fit and buff. I run marathons. I have a PhD. But I’m extremely eccentric. Im ugly. I dress like a homeless hippie. I’m addicted to opiates. Im poor. I have a high iq. I cannot stand being around stupid people. Despite being at the bottom I… Read more »
eva
Guest
eva

Oh my god, I don’t get it what are you bragging about – I wouldnt give a second look at you if you would have approached me. From your brags and photos seems that you dont have personality, you’re fake,- so thats why you attracting needy and all mentioned above girls. Maybe yes you have money and thats what lots of girls like; but from photos seems that you lack self confidence and you wouldnt approach a strong woman – who’s got looks, money etc, and deep down you know it… you know all that psychology stuff

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous

Idiot

Heather McCarthy
Guest

Will you be my boyfriend?

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous

I’ll be your anonymous manfriend.

Heather McCarthy
Guest

I am Heather McCarthy I have someone who doesn’t talk to me ,but if we break up I really need to find someone.Its almost lime he doesn’t care and we barely talk.

john
Guest
john

I’m an African American; where my rung? lol j/p. Great advice man.

Zack
Guest
Zack
Your blog is amazing. I’ve referred to this article before as it really speaks to me personally. I currently have a girlfriend and feel exactly like how you described, “torn” “like she is holding me back” and that I’m missing out on everything I could be doing. I have the game and looks to be able to approach and attract “hot girls” and I understand completely what you’re talking about when you say that a girl wants you to be “successful” but only to a certain point. It makes perfect sense. All I want to do is build my business,… Read more »
Erika
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Erika

There are many valid points to this article but what you, Joe, lack is emotional stability. You lack a truthful and deep emotional connection with someone. Those Brazilian girls you’re banging left to right also don’t give a flying crap about you. They will not take you to the hospital in the middle of the night if you’re running high fevers. They see you for your assets, nothing more, nothing less.
The advice you give is at best suitable for a very superficial life.

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous

johns , hookers and pimps.

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous

Idiot!!!! Your lack of maturity is staggering…clearly you have no depth or vision of your future…. Laughable at best….

Gary
Guest
Gary

Actually, we live in age when many of the people at the top are not particularly bright. They’ve secured their status by cultivating good connections rather than demonstrating merit. Lacking the level of intelligence required to avoid a vamp, they eventually get taken out by these aggressive sirens; ergo, these women DO serve a useful purpose, albeit a negative one.

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous

Sad but true!

Moon
Guest
Moon

There is no need to be committed when you are not ready yet. Successful men can enjoy life as much as they can same with women. That’s the bottom line. However, there will come a time, and I have been a witness of this, you would need someone to be there by your side. I can sense you haven’t found the right woman yet. You’ve met women who have existing baggages and might still be bitter. Women’s thinking are different.
I can’t blame your experience. But not all women are emotionally shitty.
Somehow, it is an insult as you are generalizing women.

al
Guest
al

Amazing piece, thanks jesse

GS
Guest
GS

I am in this position. Every lady I meet adds zero value to my life and I get bored very quickly. After reading this, I now know why. Great article! Most women are Time Vampires!

Chaitan
Guest
Chaitan

An amazing and very thought provoking article. I know it’s been years since you posted this but I just wanted to say you gave me a lot of food for thought.

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous
Excellent article, and this is exactly the clarity that I needed. As a successful, in shape and attractive 30 year old man (i say this not to toot my own horn, but to explain myself), i have felt lost and separated from the rest. I see my friends who have 9-5 day jobs, getting married and having kids and living life by the book. Then i compare myself and get frustrated as to why can’t i find that? But, it’s great to know that im not alone. Not one girl i’ve dated from the area, have i felt deserved me… Read more »
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Interesting article. Sadly, I find myself in the bottom tier. Despite the fact that I have a PhD, a high IQ, empathy, live overseas, am in excellent shape, I cannot find a woman. I have 3 things holding me back. I’m poor because I subsist on my research scientist. I devoted my career to studying alzheimer’s disease when I should have used my brilliant mind to go into something like investment banking. Second, I’m ugly. Red hair and freckles. Third, I cannot do small talk. I mentioned above that I have a high IQ, so I find most people talk… Read more »
TheRightWrongGuy
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TheRightWrongGuy

I would be an outlier but unfortunately have gravitated too the wrong women. This is a very true perspective wish I read this 7 years ago. #TiedDown #WTF

anonymous
Guest
anonymous

ps
sorry for the typos. I couldn’t edit my post. i meant to say that my income as an academic scientist at a national research institute in europe is very poor, and it is not enough to attract the love of a woman:. That’s not entirely true. I get enough propositions from other bottom tier women, but they are all obese, have children, are drug addicted, watch television; have no hobbies or passions in life.I’m going to die alone.

Karen
Guest
Karen
Thanks Christine. Your words bring me great comfort & articulate perfectly why I choose to remain single until i may meet someone looking in the same direction not looking to kill my spirit or me theirs. In the context of this article, i realise I am a Tier 3 woman wanting an outlier not for his money (I have my own) but for his beautiful mind and that thing humans have-a heart. Emotionally unavailable people are the scared, unstable ones, justifying their worth by their so called perfectly crafted life in place of their ability to love. Congratulations! You are… Read more »
Anonymous
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Anonymous

anyway it seems difficult to find a guy with heart if he’s an outlined asshole

alicia
Guest
alicia

well said

JT
Guest
JT

Well said Tai, well said.

Daniel
Guest
Daniel
Outlier status is more readily achieved when living abroad. Status is boosted immediately due to income differential. In tropical regions, being a white guy is an automatic status boost. But, everywhere you go, third rung “hot girls” are still sought after. Third tier women always have an inflated sense of their worth and seek to manipulate men for money, and there are always enough successful men that competition is still going to cost you. When overseas, I prefer to pick up the second tier women; older, not super attractive, somewhat overweight, has kids, divorced, needs help financially. What you get… Read more »
Steve
Guest
Steve

I think you have only know shit women. The other 400 women in the club who dont want to be your girlfriend are probably of a lot better calibre than the 20 that would be. Have you ever considered that you are nowhere near the top of the pyramid, but struggle to grasp the fact that you are probably not even in the top 50% of people.

As much of an ass that Ashton Kutcher is, he is in a whole different league to you.

Hugs and kisses

Steve

Moon
Guest
Moon

I think he hasnt met the right girl yet.

Dan
Guest
Dan
Enjoyed the well-written article Jesse, thanks. Keen to comment even if I’ve not taken the iniative to write anything online myself… 😉 Agree with the content of what you say but the tone comes across as self-important. Nobody can excel at everything as time is limited. You’ve got money, good looks, can travel the world and bang Brazilians left, right and centre – so what? Yes you’re at the top of the dating/social pyramid but you have to have a competitive, self-centred, elitist view of life to pigeon-hole Joe as average beyond this. Agree that to an extent life is… Read more »
im a guy
Guest
im a guy

there are some truth to what your saying, but you are someone I would not want to hang out with. I think you are overrating yourself and probably need attention to feel good. so yea

pao
Guest
pao
totally right on; your information is lifesaving; thank effing god I used my common sense when i was young! and now your rubber stamping it! now that I’m older the 18 year olds “say” they want a guy their own age but they do the total opposite; I’m a total outlier never had or wanted a GF no need; i can just donate my sperm to anyone worldwide so my genes are not going extinct, when I die i’ll have a thousand kids (this is the way it was 50,000 years ago the way it’s meant to be; by the… Read more »
Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous
It sounds to me that this “outlier” man you describe actually has emotional intimacy issues. Of course when you bang everything that walks by sex will lose value to you. You’ve turned something that is supposed to be special into a sporting event. So why is it ok for a guy to use women for sex but women can’t use men for money? Both are equally horrible yet you complain of a woman’s interest in you financially while you plow through half of the female population. It’s you who isn’t good enough, and deep down you know it so you… Read more »
eddie
Guest
eddie

hey thats awesome man, i am an outlier LOL, i feel like a gigantic weight has been lifted from my shoulders, so i had an aha moment LOL, but i knew this subconciously i guess bcz i knew i could have any chick i want in a club bcz of my looks and i noticed that on beautifulpeople dot com 99 percent of the people are single like me LOL

Steve
Guest
Steve

Yes very valid . But to play the field for decades requires an emotional resistance most don’t have . If your dating attractive women who are trying to make you fall in love , invariably you will!i don’t understand how you can advise people not to fall in love when it’s hard wired into our phyci .

martin
Guest
martin

“99% of women are simply NOT worthy of being your exclusive girlfriend.” What about that 1%, then? What if a man—or an “outlier man,” as you put it—actually prefers monogamy? Or are you implying that that’s impossible?

Christine
Guest
Christine
This is pretty much legit. If you flip it over to the opposite sex for an extremely successful woman who knows her worth, she will also is not compatible for 96% of the population. It’s better to be alone, enjoy one’s accomplishments–both personal and financial until you meet someone who is your equal as a developed human being, and not stereotypical gender roles such as women who wants to bag a successful man for further her progeny or a rich men wanting a trophy wife because he grew up as a beta and still feels like one. I personally think… Read more »
Cheryl
Guest
Cheryl
Coming from a high value female’s perspective, I scoff at what Jess considers a great life. He comes off as though someone never being in love, never had a close loving relationship with a female, never being dumped by someone he truly cared about. Life is not about partying and sex, he is unfortunately living too shallow of a life to realize that. He is making profit off of these tier 4 type guys, and those guys are so insecure and desperate to believe any crap and hype from this “so called” high value man. Let’s get the definition straight,… Read more »
berbei
Guest
berbei

best comment

Maz
Guest
Maz
“They have this fantasy of meeting a WORTHY girlfriend with the body and the brains that doesn’t cause the drama and bullshit or get fat down the road. And yet they enjoy the adventure and excitement of traveling, of building a business, and of meeting eager, new women.” Well ‘you can’t have your cake and eat it too’ i.e. one cannot have two incompatible things. Therefore “The Male Outlier” must choose between monogamy, the life of a “bad boy” or a bachelor etc. I don’t see how you instantly reach to the conclusion that he is “…better off ditching monogamy.”… Read more »
Ryan
Guest
Ryan

I comprehend why you choose such a lifestyle, however I don’t mean to be critical but does’nt this seem to be a somewhat entitled and narcissistic view, I think the important question you should be asking is “how would I like to be remembered”? If one thinks so highly of himself than surely he has the capability to empower himself and others to make changes for the greater good, not just for himself.

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous
I’m a girl and do want my significant other to reach his full potential; I want the guy I’m with to be the best. I want him to be the guy every girl in the room wants and am actually turned on by other woman wanting the guy I’m with. In fact, I would find it embarrassing if he was rejected by a girl. A lot of girls just have an irrational fear of being cheated on but if you’re a woman who doesn’t have that fear, you’re not going to care if he talks to other girls or does… Read more »
Dave
Guest
Dave

I agree with some of your points. I do believe that dating is important, so you can find someone you see as a match. I believe that passion and drive are important factors for success. I have to ask: at what does sleeping with the 10 become pointless. Once you have a Porsche, it is cool at first, but eventually you get used

Terisa
Guest
Terisa
Interesting. However, i must disagree. I believe every outlier is different. My boyfriends parents have been together for 26 years. His father is head of a very successful law firm and his mother works in a high position in the IRS. Both travel alot. Both still love eachother immensly. Everyday after work, they sit together with my bfs younger brother and have dinner as a family. They walk the dog together everyday. They train for long distance running/triathalons and marathons. The dad still brings his wife flowers home. They support eachother and encourage eachother to achieve greater success. Yes, theyve… Read more »
apnea
Guest
apnea

May I simply just say what a relief to uncover someone that truly knows what they’re talking about on the web. You certainly know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people have to look at this and understand this side of the story. It’s surprising you are
not more popular because you definitely have the gift.

goingnuts4u
Guest
goingnuts4u
I really do think that your article is super fantastic. You used the best description i could ever think about men. Two words, Men are best described as players and jerks. I am actually right about how I think and how I feel for men. Most of them are trashy, cannot be trusted, user, maniac and doesn’t deserve respect. So i definitely salute those young girls who just use men for money. after all money can buy you all the things you want except love. Because love doesn’t exist, its just all in the mind and deceiving. Well, what can… Read more »
Lele
Guest
Lele

I forgot to mention: some time ago I read about a study on men of the past who excelled in various areas. The study stressed how such men achieved their better contributions while bachelors. After marrying, their productivity dwindled. Researchers maintained that the reason lied in men striving more while trying to attract mates. I think that your article offers a more likely explanation.

Lele
Guest
Lele
Well done. This article rings true beyond its original scope: monogamy is a bad deal not only very successful guys, but to every guy who’s worth his salt and is self-contained, because all the points you’ve outlined would still hold. I’m not tall, I’m not muscular, I don’t make six figures, yet after having been there and done that, even I have realized that women are more hassle than they are worth. I think that young men’s reasoning is clouded by their raging hormones, and social pressure, otherwise they would stop and question the return on their investment before it’s… Read more »
JH
Guest
JH
Your article is interesting, but you’re mostly classifying people by their income, looks, and charm. That leaves out many important things. When I was in college I passed up better-paying jobs to work full-time for a small electronics company. They gave you the opportunity to do whole projects by yourself and made top-of-the-line stuff. By graduation I knew more about circuits than most of my professors. I stayed with the company and spent the next few years saving it from going under, when they lost their main customer due to politics. We survived, I made full partner, and now we’re… Read more »
outliermale
Guest
outliermale

JH, it’s obvious from your comment that you haven’t lived the lifestyle of hooking up with model quality girls that are ten years younger than you. Because if you had, you’d realize it beats having an average-looking long-term girlfriend any day.

I’ve done both and believe me there’s no competition, there’s just no question which makes a man happier.

The Doctor
Guest
The Doctor
outliermale is right. There is nothing, I repeat, NOTHING like bedding a perfect 10 and knowing you can do it again if you want to. However, there is something that doesn’t get discussed that often in the community, namely, what are the costs of being a player? I can say from personal experience that being a player absorbs a large part of your mojo, that is not available to be directed elsewhere. Was Richard Branson a player? How about Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, or Jeff Bezos? Not one of these guys was what you would call a swordsman, yet they… Read more »
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