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So many guys are caught up in this pornography and it really just not only saps your sex drive, but also actually saps your motivation in your drive to go out and meet women in general, independent of your sex drive. Now most guys are watching porn and it’s really going to hold them back in their lives.
The reason is, two reasons that I want to go into: Number one, is something called hedonic adaptation.
Hedonic Adaptation
Hedonic adaptation is where your brain grows accustomed to new titillating stimulation and eventually, that titillating stimulation has less and less effect, so that it doesn’t really have as much punch as it used to the first, second or third time.
For example, back in the early 1900s, if a man saw a woman’s ankles, he would get blown away. He is really turned on. To see a woman’s ankles was very titillating. Because women wore long, long dresses that covered up her legs, covered up her feet, and covered up their ankles. Woman would basically lift up her dress like this, to show on the ankle and that was amazing.
But today you see ankles and legs on television. You see women’s ankles and legs out on the streets. So it has no titillating effect on you anymore.
Instead, what men find titillating are breasts. Breasts are that titillating thing. But if you go down to a nude beach down in South Florida, for example, you see a bunch of naked breasts and at first you are like, “Wow! This is amazing!” Your brain is getting overload stimulation. “I never saw so many breasts before!” But after, actually, just a couple hours your brain adapts. It’s not as stimulatory and titillating. After a few days of going to the same beach it is going to seem normal. Breasts are normal. So your brain adapts; i.e. Hedonic adaptation.
Hedonic Adaption in Watching Porn
Now bringing this into porn, for example, let’s say you discover your perfect 10 porn. You discover the perfect girl and you think, “Wow! This girl is so amazing! So awesome! I could just jerk it to this one girl for the next year. I don’t even have to go look for other porn!”
But what happens is after a couple days of getting off to the same girl, even though she was your perfect 10, let’s say she was a tall blonde, now are you like, “I need to see some Hispanic girls, I need to see some black girls”. So actually, after a couple of days, you get bored with the same porn star even if she was amazing. That’s hedonic adaptation.
Or let’s say you develop or collect this big ultimate porn collection- the best porn you have ever discovered and you just collect it. What happens? You never really go back and watch that collection. You never go back into the archives or anything. You are always looking for new stimulation.
Because, no matter how good the porn was, your brain adapts quickly to that titillating experience. You need something new. You need something more. So what happens is that your brain is accustomed to constantly getting new girls, new stimulation from pornography. And when you go out and meet real girls on the street, club or bar, wherever it is, the girls are not as titillating.
They’re not really sexy. They’re not what you would really want them to be and only the super fine 10s can even get you motivated or inspired. So what happens is your brain adapts to these hypersexual girls in porn and then when you see real women in real life, you are just not that motivated. What happens is you go out, you see normal girls but you don’t feel that motivated.
You’re like, “Yeah, I should go talk to her, I should go talk to that one, I should do this, I should do that…” But you don’t really have that drive that forces you to go do it, because your brain is not getting stimulated by regular girls. So you think, “I will just go back home and watch some porn; Get that stimulation”. So that’s one way that saps your drive.
The Chocolate Cake Analogy
Another way that porn, really, can sap your drive is I am going to use an analogy with chocolate cake i.e. grandma’s chocolate cake. Grandma makes chocolate cake for you every week. It’s delicious chocolate cake. It’s grandma’s chocolate cake.
So every week you put on some nice clothes, you get into your car, you drive over to grandma’s house, you say hello to grandma, you talk to grandma, she pulls out the chocolate cake, you take the fork, you put the fork into the cake, you put it up to your mouth and “Mmm….!”- Grandma’s chocolate cake is delicious.
Now your buddy says to you, “Look I have got this awesome machine. You can have all the chocolate cake you want; you can have all the desserts. In fact, you just hook up this machine, these two wires to your brain and it will give you the stimulation of eating desserts”.
So with this machine, you can press a button and you are getting chocolate cake stimulated to your brain. It feels like you’re really experiencing chocolate cake… but directly to the to the pleasure center of your brain! Then you hit another button and now you can get pumpkin pie. And you hit another button and 30 seconds later you can get ice cream and hit another button 30 seconds later you can feel like getting chocolate chip cookies, the most mouth savoring delicious chocolate chip cookies you’ve ever eaten.
And say, you just get desert pleasure for two weeks, non-stop.
And what’s great about this machine is that you don’t have to even expend any time or effort to get the pleasure.
You don’t even have to you put your fork down, up to your mouth and chew. You have to expend calories to do that. You don’t have to go drive to the store, expend gas or pay money for gas. You get it all instantly from this machine.
So what happens?
After two weeks of doing using the machine, Grandma calls you up and says to you, “Hey! Sunny, come on over and eat some chocolate cake with me”.
So you think to yourself, “I should spend some time with grandma. I should eat some real chocolate cake. I should go over there and do my obligation”. But you’ve got to get dressed. You’ve got to get inside the car. You’ve got to buy some gasoline. You’ve got to go over to grandma. You’ve got to say hello. It’s a big production, you think to yourself.
You don’t feel that motivated to do it. It just starts to feel like a hassle. Especially, since you had this machine and since you can get the stimulation right to your brain instantaneously… AND it even tastes BETTER than grandma’s chocolate cake. Because in this machine they had some sciences design what was the perfect tasting chocolate cake for you.
So you just don’t feel like going to see grandma. It’s not fun anymore because the simulation of the machine is more fun.
How Porn Kills Your Motivation To Take Action
So it’s the same way, same exact same thing with the girls and porn. Basically you jerk off to some porn and then you just don’t feel the motivation that you should to go out and meet REAL girls.
You feel like, “Yeah, I should go out… I should do this… I should do that… but I can just get pleasure and stimulation from watching pornography”.
And even if you DO go out, then because you have hedonic adaptation, the real girls are not really stimulating you in the same way, because you have been seeing tons of naked bodies, tons of naked girls in porn. You can’t control the fantasies exactly how you want. So when you see the girl in the club it’s just not as stimulating as it should be.
The Short-Term Trap Of Watching Porn
Now here is really the trap of porn.
In the very short-term, porn is awesome!
Let’s say an asteroid is going to hit the earth and you have 30 minutes. Are you going to be like, “Ah God, I got to meet some real girls”?
After all, you only have 30 minutes to live. You’re not going to get laid in 30 minutes.
If your outlook is 30 minutes from now, porn is great. Because you can get a lot of pleasure and a lot of stimulation from porn. You can expend zero time and effort to get that pleasure and stimulation.
The problem is that we tend to think very short-term. We want the short term payoff. So we’ll just watch porn.
The problem is on the long-term. Let us say, a 3 year timescale.
Take Two Guys- One Who Watches Porn, The Other Who Doesn’t…
Take one guy that’s watching porn and another guy that avoids porn. The guy who just skips out on porn, maybe three years from now he can have two or three girlfriends. He’s gotten laid like 20 or 30 times. He is socially sharp from going out. And because he’s been around girls, he feels that pressure on himself to go the gym, to look nice, be healthy, eat correctly, and have good habits.
Whereas the guy that just gives into the easy temptation of porn, gives into the quick stimulation of porn with no effort.
He doesn’t feel that pressure to look good.
He doesn’t feel that pressure to eat healthy or go to the gym.
He doesn’t feel that pressure to be social and be socially sharp.
He’s not going to have any girls around him.
And he’s not going to have two or three girlfriends. He is not going to be getting laid. So three years from now; even though there is a short-term payoff to watching porn which traps you into wanting to do it, over the long-term it’s a very negative habit. It’s really going to hold you back.
What About Cheat Days? The Backsliding Problem
Now you might be asking, “Jesse, what about a cheat day? Can I have a cheat day where once a week I watch porn? I don’t do it very often, but I want to watch a little porn here and there.”
The problem with that is, you’ll watch porn once and then it can be very easy to backslide into that habit of watching it day after day, two or three days in a row, or worse.
You get the stimulation one day and then the next day you are like “I kind of want to see that other girl. I didn’t quite finish off to her”, so the second day you’re back to it.
It’s very easy to backslide into it if you have cheat days.
Cheat Days Aren’t For Champions
Another issue with cheat days is, if you want to be, for example, a great runner, you want to do marathons and you want to really excel at your hobby… then yes, you CAN have a cheat day eating all you can eat at McDonald’s every Saturday. But it’s not going to make you the best marathon runner.
Doing that cheat day is really going to impinge on your results.
If you want to get the best results out of your hobby or out of your passion of women, you don’t want to have that cheat day of doing porn.
You want to align all of your habits to be good habits to give you the best results you can get. You don’t want to be cheating with bad habits.
You don’t want to be in the mindset that pornography is a positive reward. You want to see porn more like eating junk food or smoking, where you want to just avoid it completely. There’s really no reason to do a cheat day.
Watching Porn Will Kill Off Your Genes
Another thing to consider is that porn watching is a maladaptive trait, where your brain is tricked into thinking that porn is like fucking a real girl, when it’s not.
You’re wasting your time on the simulation fantasy. It’s not going to help you reproduce.
So basically you are going to have two groups of guys in society- first, guys that get sucked into porn because it’s tricking their brain. Their caveman brain can’t tell the difference between the fantasy and going after girls in real life.
Versus guys that, for whatever reasons their genes say, “I am going to skip the porn. I am going to go after real girls”.
Those are the guys that are going to be genetically successful.
They are going to have more sex.
They are going to have more children.
They are going to have more choice of women.
They are going to have more fit offspring to propagate their genes into future generations.
Whereas the guys that get all hung up on porn or spend a good deal of their days in front of porn are eventually going to get weeded out.
Which Side Are You On?
So, it’s really almost like a life-and-death struggle of your genes. Are you able to adapt to the post-1995 universe of the world, where porn is basically ubiquitous?
Can you still get the hot girls in that kind of situation, or is this new technology going to suck you into the abyss of not being able to procreate?
Because maybe you can’t not adapt to the new pitfalls in the new environment. And as you know, species go extinct or certain traits in the species go extinct when the environment changes and that species or groups within the species can’t adapt to the new environment.
So you want to be one of those guys that is adapting to modern society. A guy who can still procreate, be successful genetically in evolution instead of being one of those guys that your lineage is going to be snuffed out because you wasted time watching porn with lack of motivation.
Leave me a comment!
There are two things you can do however one is to leave a comment right below the video. I read all the comments.
I am interested in what you have to say and I reply to a good number the comments when I get the chance.
~ Jesse
P.S. Want An Easy, Effective Formula To Get A Nice Girlfriend?
My instant girlfriend formula works by hijacking a little known 'glitch' in the female brain... to learn more click THIS link here.
Jesse, you did a great job with this video, I watched the whole way through. You’re spot on about watching adult films… it kills my motivation in subtle ways!
Thanks !
IT’S REALLY A GOOD JOB! IT MAKES MANY PERSONS TO CHANGE
THEIR LIVES
what about masturbation ?
Jerking off is necessary if you need to sit down and focus to do work, but you are very sexually agitated and need to release pent-up energy. And typically when you jerk off, you think about REAL girls you’ve met. So it’s much better than porn watching, it doesn’t drain your motivation nearly as much. With porn, you can go waaay too long with it and it becomes a substitute for real girls. If you’re just jerking off, it won’t feel like a satisfactory substitute and you’ll remain driven to take action.
Loved the article! Loved the way you used metaphors! Keep it up.
But I think this sentence should not belong where we are talking about the good guys (who avoid porn) – “They are going to have no more fit offspring to propagate their genes into future generations.”.. Was that a typo?
Thanks for catching that Jake, I’ll get it corrected
Excelente Video!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I enjoy women’s bodies and erotic art. I also know the traps
that you accurately detail. I think an informe and mature Man
will know his strengths and weaknesses and conduct himself
in his life accordingly. I enjoy erotic art and I have a great sex
life…thanks for the debate Jesse
This hits home hard. This opened my eyes in a big way. Now I know what killed my motivation. Great video this is a life changer.
Hey Jesse you wake me up with the so damn good video. The message is so clear and so true! It’s kills motivation to go after girls. Gonna stop with the shit porno! I’m gonna start NOW!! Thank you Jesse.. your da man!! Stil doing the good work!
Bless!
litterally, this is correct i used to watch porn nightly for a long time, i had to ween myslef off of it but when i did the amount of girls in my life skyrocketed, it was almost weird haha
Very good, but I watch porn and it seems to make me more hungry for women, but I would say that it puts ur standereds too high, and you tend to go for gals women that are out of your own league, but ur right you do have to keep changing porn sites to get
It does set your standards high, but the problem is you may only find 1 or 2 girls to your taste in a club or bar… and then you freeze up when you see them and nothing happens in the night. It’s much better to be SOCIAL with everyone, and then once you have a lot of momentum, pick the girl you want. That’s the way to get results.
Very true. I feel like I caught up in that trap. Dr. Oz said pretty much the same thing
Hey Jesse,
I’m a bit overweight and I’ve just hit the gym. I know a girl and she’s really pretty and I’ve trying to take her on date but whenever I ask her on date, she’s busy (usually on Sundays).
so can you give me dating tips and how to score a girl?
Kane, hit me up on the forum
http://www.seductionscience.com/lounge/
Interesting video. The chocolate cake analogy reminds me of “The Experience Machine” by Robert Nozick, which I think makes a good point with regards to the superiority of real women vs porn.
I thought your points against porn were all good except for the evolution stuff. I definitely agree that it takes away our motivation and makes the thought of exerting effort and energy to seduce women seem unappealing. I don’t ever consciously think “Forget going out, I’ll just watch some porn”, but perhaps sub-conciously I do, since sometimes that’s what happens, because going out doesn’t seem to be worth the effort.
With regards to the evolution stuff, Dawkin’s “Selfish Gene” makes it clear that the goal of our individual genes is to reproduce themselves. However, the goal of our genes is not necessarily, nor should it be, the goal of ourselves. In fact, our gene’s just use us – the organism – as vehicles to reproduce themselves. Our gene’s interests and our own interests diverge. Reproduction may be the “goal” of our genes but it is not the goal of ourselves. Our genes might benefit from us raping a woman, but we don’t, and healthy people have no desire you do so. What benefits our genes does not always benefit us.
You make a good point that porn is taking advantage of the evolved make up of our brain. But the point that porn will lead you to reproduce less is not a strong argument – our goal is not necessarily to reproduce. If that was the goal, you would be making videos about why we shouldn’t use condoms.
I don’t really care whether my gene’s get passed down. I just want to be happy – and meeting women and feeling socially confident is a means to that.
Great first few points though!
Your personal goal doesn’t have to be to reproduce, but you’ll get weeded out. In a 1,000 years, everyone who is hedonistic only living for personal pleasure will be weeded out of the gene pool. This isn’t my moral judgment, it’s just facts of evolutionary selection. Watching porn is a maladpative trait that puts quick pleasure before sex.
Condoms are not the same, because if you’re using condoms a lot, it means you have sexual choice and can have children at any time. Watching porn means LACK of choice typically.
This was an excellent treatise, Jesse. The fact is that porn is made by men who have learned the kinds of thing you teach: How to relate well sexually to women. These men then seek to make money off the poor suckers who do not care to learn. The fact is that porn is the enemy of the authentic man, and all of your reasoning here is backed up by science. Thank you for making this bold statement!
good vidio
Great vid
You sound a lot like Saul Hudson!
Guns N Roses?
VERY TRUE. WATCHING PORN SETS THE STANDARDS WAY TOO HIGH FOR THE WOMEN THAT YOU SEE EVERYDAY IN YOUR HOMETOWN.THEY DONT LOOK HOT(OF COURSE BECAUSE THEIR WEARING CLOTHES)….ANYWAY–SINCE I STOPPED WATCHING PORN FOR JUST 3 SHORT WEEKS- NOW MY BRAIN HAS CHANGED–PRACTICALLY EVERY WOMAN I SEE IN OUR TOWN-I WANNA BANG THEM VERY BADLY.NOW MY QUESTION IS: HOW MUCH MASTURBATION IS TOO MUCH- IF I MASTURBATE TO THESE MENTAL PHOTOGRAPHS OF THESE HOT WOMEN IN MY HOMETOWN?
Great for cutting out porn! And the changes your experiencing are very beneficial. imaginative masturbation to the hometown hotties is alright, until you feel it’s sapping out your sex drive. Once a day, to let out pent-up energy, is probably alright if you’re a young guy.
Very good video.
THE GIRLS:
They are not real.
You can not have them.
They are not your friends.
They cannot love you back.
They do not care about you.
They are not worth any of your time.
They do not move you forward, they move you backward.
THE LIMBIC BRAIN:
It does not know time.
It has no mind.
It has no thought.
It does not understand logic.
It only wants pleasure.
It gives you E.D.
IT ROBS YOU OF EVERYTHING.
R.W.O – Real Women Only.
Stellar.
Great !
Good video dude never thought of it like that but I know what your saying. Personally not a big porn watcher I prefer going out meeting real women and the more you do it the better you get at it, where as I have friends who only watch porn and have never had a girl
The only reason to watch porn besides the obvious is to learn dirty talk. DON’T LISTEN TO THE GUYS. They’re lame. Listen to the girls – they are saying what they wish was being said to them!
And the article is spot on.
And to my quote above – it is almost frustrating seeing how lame the guys and sex is. When we watch porn my girlfriend comments how lame the guys are. Very few know how to talk to and fuck their woman like a dirty slut. I’d like my dick to be an inch bigger but I wouldn’t trade it for how LAME they are.
Jesse is spot on with his sex advice. Look up his posts on rough sex and dirty talk they are the real truth.
It is all about the feeling you create!
Yeah, there’s some girls that do good dirty talk, but it’s much faster and efficient to learn how to dirty talk from sites that specialize in teaching it, or right here on sed sci.
Man, give me a tip, something, please, i want to stop watching porn right now!!
This was an excellent video…a couple of great takeaways and a fantastic grandma’s cake metaphor!
Nice job!
John McLean
sexually frustrated guys,guys who are lonely and horny and men who are unmarried and don`t get the real thing are addicted to porn.I hate porn, people catch you they will think you are a pervert and lowlife and you feel guilty and ashamed.And don`t forget GOD is watching you and judging you.
Jacob… there’s no reason to feel ashamed, guilty. That kind of guilt and shame about sex will tend to spill into other areas of your life where you don’t want guilt or shame. Also, you shouldn’t care about what other people think- you should quit porn for yourself, not to please other people. It’s my belief pretty much all guys are “perverts”, even your grandpa would love to bang the barely legal 18 yo hottie if he could get away with it.
Jesse, seems to make a lot of sense to me. You’ve explained it in a very analytical way, and its changed how I think of porn.
Porn made it almost impossible to ejaculate with real girls, whereas in the past I would ejaculate EASILY.
Thank god I stopped watching porn..
Jesse,
Thank you very much for your good message. Many youth waste their time on seeing porn. Your advice is very very very valuable.
Particularly when you’re young, you’ll be more susceptible to the de-motivating effets as your brain is still developing. Just like it’s far easier to get hooked on alcohol or cigarettes when you start the bad habit early in life.
I was a porn addict for about 10 years and I can only say that Jessie is right in all that he says, he is even more right than you may think! Porn’s biggest danger is that it can easily change into addiction and you may not be even aware of that at the beginning. When it becomes addiction it will not only destroy all your success with women but also will destroy you in all other areas of your life and leave you feeling dumb like shit. And then it’s very very hard to stop.
Jessie, you are only scratching the surface of the problem here – when you search for porn addiction on the web you will find web sites which deal specifically with that and explain in detail how the human brain goes crazy with the modern porn stimuli and why it is so different from pre-internet porn. Your advice is spot on for most people here but if anyone feels they are in a more serious condition they can search the other sites and have their eyes opened to what and why it is happening and how to stop.
The brain gets literally damaged by internet porn as we know today and it’s really important to stop all porn – even small amounts can be dangerous and amount to bigger problems and lost opportunities later on. And take it seriously, I’ve been there, I got into debts, lost contact with friends, neglected my relationship and was thinking about committing suicide. Please, don’t go there!
Let’s face it – how many men would honestly say they watch porn because they chose to? We watch porn because we can’t achieve the real thing for some reason. Porn site owners most often know about detrimental effect of porn and they don’t want our happiness. They want to make money on us or to make our brains dumb. And they live on our frustrations and inability to get what we are really after. If they wanted our happiness they would teach us how to get real women instead of contaminating us with addictive junk.
There is a great British film about the problem: “Shame”. By reading opinions I can see that many people don’t understand it. But based on my experience I can tell you it’s spot on – the dumb state of mind, indifference to the outer world and the people around you – even the loved ones – is what eventually happens to a hard porn watcher.
Now I’m off porn completely and after so many years I have to literally learn how to live again normally and it’s a great world out there! Clarity of mind, motivation, good feeling are what was absent earlier. And now an orgasm with a woman can leave me feeling calm, empowered and satisfied – this is 100% opposite of orgasming to porn.
Having said that, I believe it is possible to use porn in a positive way. Back when I was in my late teens before my first real sex I used to look at some softcore porn photos on the internet – but that was pretty rare since I only had access to internet at school. I enjoyed looking at the beauty of naked women and was happy to imagine what it would be to feel like with a woman like that. I felt empowered by those short glimpses of sexuality. Also, occasional porn watching with a girlfriend can be fun, too. But we have to be extremely careful with this because there’s a very fine line between what we think as safe porn and what can become dangerous, so I don’t recommend it unless you really know what you are doing. I think when porn is used only with the intention of making real sex better then it can be good for us. But then I don’t think any prolonged porn-watching would fulfill that purpose.
Anyway, thanks for the video, your words contain real gems of wisdom – however, I think some men may not realize that!
Epic.
In addition, even if you’re NOT addicted so deeply but just a “casual watcher”, porn will still destroy much of your general motivation. In all cases, it’s good policy to completely obliterate it.
yeah, but what does it mean WHEN…
You have a REAL girl coming over. But, You have
to watch porn to get ready for her?!
its a great job sir, all religion strictly banned these activities
Hey Jesse, thanks for putting up this video and all other stuff you are sharing. As always, I am interested in your view on things and I was anxious to hear this one as I watch porn on a daily basis.
Sorry but perhaps I am the black swan here..
Porn adds to my lively sex-life. I have been in 3 serious long-term relationships since my 18th and had more women in bed than I can remember to count them. Women fascinate me and that’s the reason I follow you and some other guys who have useful things to share. Porn did not kill anything for me. It made me a better partner in bed and even more confident than is good for me
The last 6 months I enjoyed a period in my life as a bachelor. I had several very sexy and awesome looking women. My friends were amazed I pulled it all off. At one point I was dating 6 women from the age of 26 up to 50 at the same time and watched porn daily.
My mindset maybe a little different as the ‘average’ guy. Porn is fantasy and how I see the future. Real life is what I pray for and live to the fullest every day, again and again and again. Two worlds, two different emotional settings.
Maybe there is some kind of modus between your and mine experience that we yet have to discover.
Keep up the great work!
A fellow admirer from Europe
That’s cool you can fit porn into an active and real sex life. There will always be exceptions and areas of gray, and it sounds like you’re that exception. But I’d say for at least 90% of guys – if not 99% of guys – porn is holding them back in their real sex lives by creating a motivation problem.
I would def agree to this. My ex bf admittedly said he preferred his hands over me because it was way more convenient, like he doesnt have to drive all the way to see me anymore. It’s sad, but oh well.
Hey Jesse wats up im all the way from Africa and love most of your articles. i always knew there are negative consequences of watching porn for many guys but i have been struggling to know what is the proper definition of porn. Is watching sex scenes in movies considered watching porn according to your perspective?
Sex scenes in movies? No, I wouldn’t consider that porn. I wouldn’t even consider adult movies with story lines like “Pirates” or “Tatiana” to be negative http://www.seductionscience.com/2010/3-female-friendly-adult-films-women-will-love/
The problem comes in when you can switch between scenes, fantasies, and girls in a matter of seconds, to having unlimited stimulation and unlimited variety at your finger tips.
u did nice…!! thnxx
fist days whitout porn is hard man! I fell very tired, trully
It will be hard at first. You very may relapse as well, don’t beat yourself up over it. Just keep pushing through the initial bad emotions or withdrawal and you’ll eventually pull through and not miss it.
Guys Prefer Taking A Car To Work Then Walk Or Bike Ride ,Why??? Because Its EASIER,The Problem With That Is ,If You Have Everything Too Easy,When You Face Challenges Down The Road ,We Tend To Get Lazy And Give Up Because It Requires Time And Effort,That`s The Price We Pay When We Make Things Alittle Too Easy For Ourselves
As biological beings, we want to conserve time and we want to conserve energy. Porn is very seductive in that way. It sucks you in. But in the long term, it has negative consequences, just like everything “easy” in life, like fast food calories.
well well jessie!!! when all is said and done you are the man! love your insight very well researched and explained.i watch porn for my own reasons.firstly i produce porn videos for educational purposes to help guys “break the wall”.so many guys are fearful of approaching real life women,pornography helps wire their brains and have that killer “no guts no glory” stamina.tantra yoga encourages watching porn for this particular reason.the problem might be that guys watch the wrong type of porn.secondly porn is art,erotic art,there is a challenge on creativity.if you end up addicted then the problem lies squarely with your own mental fabrication.sit back,relax watch people fucking its a satisfying natural flow of life energy.it brings you closer to the laws of the universe,a very deep kind of meditation in a world dominated by sex.how you jerk off is entirely your own business.thank you very much.love&respect
You the man Jesse! When I clicked on this article I was really expecting to hear alot of bullshit I can quickly dismiss, but you got right to the money quick! I was that guy that built up a huge porn collection outta nowhere, for no reason. I know my girlfriend wasnt too fond of it. And just like you said, after I had all that porn, I rarely ever went to look at it, I just liked knowing it was there. Then one day a couple months ago my hard drive crashed and I lost ALL the porn, and guess what? I survived! I havent even thought about trying to replace anything. I know Im better off without it. And I know my girlfriend hates knowing that I can temporarily satisfy myself without her, so I think the no porn thing will help me out alot. I’ll give it a try. It wont be easy, but Im about to be 25 and feel like I need to make a few changes. Ima give up weed (for at least a year) and I think Ill add porn to the list. Thanks Jesse!!
Yeah- getting rid of your porn collection can feel like a weight off your shoulders
You’ll feel lighter, more clean, and you won’t miss it.
That makes alot of sense very interesting
sometimes is good but addiction is really a slow poison………….according to me it also decreases your manliness.
Great thanks jesse…. i was almost like addict watching everyday porn and as u said there are many side effect for that i had less desire to meet and relate with chicks. burn all the porns and lets go and meet real chicks
i just jerked off to this article
I’m female. Years ago, when I was a teenager, I took a summer job oversees. A friend gave me a romance novel to read while I was there. I had no other access to anything English so I read and reread the romance novel several times over. I began to sexually obsess over the male character who was handsome & viral. I found this character so appealing. He was very real to me and I preferred this fictional character to anyone I met that summer. Result was that while I had lots of opportunities to meet boys, I resisted them because my romance novel character was so perfect. No one in real life could compete. Now with so many men pouring their time into porn, I see a lethargy in their behaviour. They seem almost adrogenous to me. Sad. Like them I fell under a spell that hypnotized me all summer. I learned my lesson that summer and changed my ways. Today I don’t spend alot of time in fantasy. I limit my use of TV, internet, don’t watch porn, don’t read romance novels. Spend lots of time in nature, hiking. Work out in the gym. I also carefully monitor foods that I eat. Limit sugar & salt and food tastes just as good after a while. Same with you guys and porn. Limit or stop it and you’ll see us females in a new light.
Thank you Jesse for this article!
I’ve heard about that many times before, so 3 weeks ago I finally stopped watching porn and also jerking off.
Strangely it wasn’t difficult, because I don’t have this drive anymore that I had few years ago. Getting an erection has become very difficult for me, even if I seduce really stunning girls, I need to take some pills to get him hard. So I hope it’s from watching to much porn. Because even porn doesn’t erect me that much, I need to watch about 10 different videos, girls and fantasies to get really turned on. Seeing just a naked girl doesn’t do anything to me. This is really sad and I’m only in my 20ties :/
The only thing that really motivates me is Beauty! I love beautiful faces of woman, I don’t feel that sex drive, I feel the drive to seduce this beautiful creature. That’s the only reason I still do approaches.
So I see I got a big problem and that’s why today I will stop watching any porn. This time I will still masturbate at least every second day, cause I think you need to train your muscle. I hope it will help.
BUT I got another question: What about watching beautiful woman? I got many facebook groups and on instagram and weheartit I see so many really pretty faces every day. Will my brain also get used to that? Will my standards grow and will it get harder for me to feel this drive to real world Beauties? Do you think it’s better to not look at those pictures every day? Or is it totally different?
BK, 3 weeks is a great start! Don’t worry about relapses, just get back on the path. Looking at beautiful girls on the Internet is alright… the only danger with that is more wasting time on the computer, and possibly being tempted back into watching movies.
what about people like me, I don’t want to have children, don’t want to have a relationship with a women (for the moment I want to spend my life without a relationship), but I find the women’s body attractive, and according to my sex experiences, having sex is not amazing and I find more pleasure watching it (maybe my experiences have not been very good and not have been many to really prove it), I watch porn often, but I go to the gym I have been in the gym for 2 years, eat healthy and have a strong social group but I have not socialized in a lot of time because I realized that I don’t like people in general (found the stupid, or I get bored (lack of humility from me with that issue)).
So I think that the desription in this video doesn’t work for me maybe it works in general. I agree with you but I think that you must consider that if someone has an ideological thought about some of the exposed issues it may not be true for them.
Yeah, AMM, there’s always exceptions– like if you have no interest in relationships, porn can substitute. However, I think you can still have a lot of fun socializing and meeting people, and porn will sap your willpower for healthy activities that bring happiness. Even if you don’t want a relationship.
Hello Jesse, I have a confession to make. It’s not just men who get sucked into porn. I am a female who watched porn daily for 5 years and I couldn’t get enough. Society seems to think this is a male problem only – it isn’t! I started because I wasn’t getting what I needed from my husband, I’ll have sex every day if I can and he would be happy not touching for WEEKS!!!! It was killing me so I used porn to fill the void. Once it got hold of me I couldn’t stop and I had to watch more and more hardcore material to get my “fix”. I made a decision to stop one day when I realized I was crying because although I was fulfilling my physical need, it was empty and lonely. I also found out my husband was with another woman and that was the reason he wasn’t into the physical aspect of our marriage. The porn allowed me to ignore the real problem and my advice is DON’T because it just post-poned the inevitable. I got divorced and have a new boyfriend who is wonderful physically, mentally and emotinally and the best part is…..I haven’t watched porn in a year!!!!
Great story Vamp, thanks for sharing ! It’s a pretty common story actually!
excellent !!! what you said is really get me out of this bad habit.
Awesome ben
Well isn’t it obvious that porn is bad for you? Also masturbation is bad for you for all the guys out there, ESPECIALLY when you go to the extreme and release semen. STOP masturbating, watching, porn and find better stuff to do in life to substitute that time. Don’t think that there is nothing else to do because there always is! GUYS that have watched porn have corrupted there mind how sex really looks like because the people in the video go to the extreme and are not realistic. Sex should be taken calmly and should be a relaxation rather than something that hurts and is extreme/ crazy. TEENS SHOULD TRY TO AVOID RELATIONSHIPS WITH GIRLS, this would help to avoid sex. What I do is: I try to avoid talking to girls to the most I can which is actually not that hard…
Do you feel that nude art has the same effect as porn? I’m a graphic artist and I’ve done numerous artistic nudes (matisian/abstract style, mostly because i’m not good at realism) from photos of models. Interesting presentation, btw.
Bro.. art is art !
This is hugely important. There was a really good TED talk about this, video is on youtube. It really does sap your sex drive. More men need to know about this.
Good to look it realty does sex drive to better
I am convinced!! Lets see if I am successful to stop watching it. Thanks bro. Your entire website rocks. Its bible for me. lol.
Its in my bookmarks. You are the Best Jesse.
Jesse its really a good experience to read it. and definitely it will help to stop watching pornography. do you have more stuff like that or somehow we can expand this literature like pornography sites (adult finder) i think if we try to make it large positively it will more fruitful to all of us.
you make some good points but my question is how are you suppost to stop watching porn and meet real women if women dont find you attractive. i have only ever had one relationship it was long distance, lasted 4 months i saw her 3 times and she hated me and messed me about since then i havent had a girlfriend for nearly 9 years and porn is all i have. i cant get women. im not an attractive ‘hot’ guy that women fancy!! how am i suppost to go out and meet women whan women dont give me a second look?? ANY on them..i would love to stop watching porn and meet real women but that seems impossible.
For me watching porn killed everything. My sex drive, my motivation, my desire to be with real women, my social life. It even killed my erections as i was not aroused when with a real girl, needed lots of stimulation and every time went soft before getting to sex.
Been off porn now for 4 months, Only masturbated a few times and now have finally lost my virginity at age 23 and now am far more assertive and flirty with girls.
Arousal/Libido is still not 100% but its getting there.
for those who know of tumblr and the certain things that are posted (short porn clips and pictures ) does that count as watching porn in anyway.
Jesse I’m a webcam girl because I love my body and love to masturbate so I figured why not make money doing what I love
but during my off time I like watching porn/ other webcams when i masturbate off camera, is this behavior as disruptive for women? I have a very healthy sex life and am very social with wonderful friends, could that all change? Or would you say that a little porn here and there for a healthy, balanced individual is not so damaging? I think most things in moderation are not so harmful, I feel it’s only when people go to far can things get dangerous…
I think porn has an opposite but sometimes equally undesirable effect on women. I think when females masturbate it makes us more sexual and increases our sex drive. This can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on your goals and situation. I think in your case maybe it’s okay since you make a living out of it and that’s what makes you happy then you would want to keep your drive fairly high. If you start to feel unhappy, realize that a lot of the validation that makes us feel good and confident in the long term comes from emotional relationships with men and not sexual ones(even though we tend to combine sex and emotions whereas men are better at separating the two), sometimes it’s just easier to take a break and be less sexual. It forces you to kind of look elsewhere for stimulus and validation and fun and you learn to find a new side to yourself
Yes I agree with you. The more I masturbate on and off camera the more sexually active I find myself wanting to be with my boyfriend. I have gone for months without sexual stimulation (before I started webcaming and before I met my boyfriend) and it almost becomes normal, as if you could care less weather you have sex or not
I personally do not like the feeling of no sex drive. I also don’t like the feeling of having an out of control sex drive, like if I don’t get off I might die! Lol I have been at both ends of the spectrum and prefer to find balance 
Great job…
Its true and i have experienced it. But getting out of this trap is tough.Most of the guys will agree to it. How to get out of pornography??
This is for real. I learned my husband had a porn problem because he started rejecting BJ s. I turned up the heat and got some lingere only to be told I had no underwear on. Heartbroken. And for you who are wondering I’m as hot as I ever was and confident in my body. This is slowly destroying our marriage. Avoid it all together.
HI, good article out of experince…
So why is it that I watch the same porn girls over and over and only watch these porn girls?
Not all guys are the same as what you described.
These same porn girls never get old for me.
Jesse I just want to say thank you. This video has really opened my eyes in so many ways. I now realize that my porn habits weren’t just hurting me but all the people around me as well. You see I have been addicted to porn for 7 years and im a college student with only 4 semesters left until I graduate with my Management degree. I have also never had a gf in my life and all this time I thought that the reason why was because of the women and I had used that as an excuse for my porn habits. But now I see that it wasn’t the women’s fault but it was my own for letting myself be dragged by this addiction and even though I have only read your article today I believe that this info will help me in the long run and help me with my life. So now from this day forward I promise you that I will chance my habits and leave porn alone for the rest of my life thanks and god bless you and the work you are doing
While I agree somewhat with some of your points, I feel like you are assuming thy everyone responds to everything in he same way, I have watched more porn than anybody I know, by far. Way by far.im talking like hours a day sometimes. Sometimes I watch porn with girls. And I have a very fulfilling sex life and enough self control to motivate myself no matter how many videos I see. Yes hedonic adaptation is a real thing, but if I watch CSI everyday, am I going to be completely I shocked if I ever happen across a murder scene? No. I think porn, like all other things, Is only good in moderation. And only if its good for you.
I want to stop watching porn but thats not so easy i put on tv hot girls i put on radio sexy sound like ooow yea like in porn so how can i stop thinking about porn ??