Watching Porn? Three *Urgent* Reasons Why You Must Stop Right Now

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So many guys are caught up in this pornography and it really just not only saps your sex drive, but also actually saps your motivation in your drive to go out and meet women in general, independent of your sex drive. Now most guys are watching porn and it’s really going to hold them back in their lives.

The reason is, two reasons that I want to go into: Number one, is something called hedonic adaptation.

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Hedonic Adaptation

Hedonic adaptation is where your brain grows accustomed to new titillating stimulation and eventually, that titillating stimulation has less and less effect, so that it doesn’t really have as much punch as it used to the first, second or third time.

For example, back in the early 1900s, if a man saw a woman’s ankles, he would get blown away. He is really turned on. To see a woman’s ankles was very titillating. Because women wore long, long dresses that covered up her legs, covered up her feet, and covered up their ankles. Woman would basically lift up her dress like this, to show on the ankle and that was amazing.

But today you see ankles and legs on television. You see women’s ankles and legs out on the streets. So it has no titillating effect on you anymore.

Instead, what men find titillating are breasts. Breasts are that titillating thing. But if you go down to a nude beach down in South Florida, for example, you see a bunch of naked breasts and at first you are like, “Wow! This is amazing!”   Your brain is getting overload stimulation. “I never saw so many breasts before!”  But after, actually, just a couple hours your brain adapts. It’s not as stimulatory and titillating.  After a few days of going to the same beach it is going to seem normal. Breasts are normal. So your brain adapts; i.e. Hedonic adaptation.

Hedonic Adaption in Watching Porn

Now bringing this into porn, for example, let’s say you discover your perfect 10 porn. You discover the perfect girl and you think, “Wow! This girl is so amazing! So awesome!  I could just jerk it to this one girl for the next year. I don’t even have to go look for other porn!”

But what happens is after a couple days of getting off to the same girl, even though she was your perfect 10, let’s say she was a tall blonde, now are you like, “I need to see some Hispanic girls, I need to see some black girls”.  So actually, after a couple of days, you get bored with the same porn star even if she was amazing. That’s hedonic adaptation.

Or let’s say you develop or collect this big ultimate porn collection- the best porn you have ever discovered and you just collect it. What happens? You never really go back and watch that collection. You never go back into the archives or anything. You are always looking for new stimulation.

Because, no matter how good the porn was, your brain adapts quickly to that titillating experience. You need something new. You need something more. So what happens is that your brain is accustomed to constantly getting new girls, new stimulation from pornography. And when you go out and meet real girls on the street, club or bar, wherever it is, the girls are not as titillating.

They’re not really sexy. They’re not what you would really want them to be and only the super fine 10s can even get you motivated or inspired. So what happens is your brain adapts to these hypersexual girls in porn and then when you see real women in real life, you are just not that motivated.  What happens is you go out, you see normal girls but you don’t feel that motivated.

You’re like, “Yeah, I should go talk to her, I should go talk to that one, I should do this, I should do that…”  But you don’t really have that drive that forces you to go do it, because your brain is not getting stimulated by regular girls. So you think, “I will just go back home and watch some porn; Get that stimulation”. So that’s one way that saps your drive.

 The Chocolate Cake Analogy

Another way that porn, really, can sap your drive is I am going to use an analogy with chocolate cake i.e. grandma’s chocolate cake. Grandma makes chocolate cake for you every week. It’s delicious chocolate cake. It’s grandma’s chocolate cake.

So every week  you put on some nice clothes, you get into your car, you drive over to grandma’s house, you say hello to grandma, you talk to grandma, she pulls out the chocolate cake, you take the fork, you put the fork into the cake, you put it up to your mouth and “Mmm….!”- Grandma’s chocolate cake is delicious.

Now your buddy says to you, “Look I have got this awesome machine. You can have all the chocolate cake you want; you can have all the desserts. In fact, you just hook up this machine, these two wires to your brain and it will give you the stimulation of eating desserts”.

So with this machine, you can press a button and you are getting chocolate cake stimulated to your brain. It feels like you’re really experiencing chocolate cake… but directly to the to the pleasure center of your brain! Then you hit another button and now you can get pumpkin pie. And you hit another button and 30 seconds later you can get ice cream and hit another button 30 seconds later you can feel like getting chocolate chip cookies, the most mouth savoring delicious chocolate chip cookies you’ve ever eaten.

And say, you just get desert pleasure for two weeks, non-stop.

And what’s great about this machine is that you don’t have to even expend any time or effort to get the pleasure.

You don’t even have to you put your fork down, up to your mouth and chew. You have to expend calories to do that. You don’t have to go drive to the store, expend gas or pay money for gas. You get it all instantly from this machine.

So what happens?

After two weeks of doing using the machine, Grandma calls you up and says to you, “Hey! Sunny, come on over and eat some chocolate cake with me”.

So you think to yourself, “I should spend some time with grandma. I should eat some real chocolate cake. I should go over there and do my obligation”. But you’ve got to get dressed. You’ve got to get inside the car. You’ve got to buy some gasoline. You’ve got to go over to grandma. You’ve got to say hello. It’s a big production, you think to yourself.

You don’t feel that motivated to do it. It just starts to feel like a hassle. Especially, since you had this machine and since you can get the stimulation right to your brain instantaneously… AND it even tastes BETTER than grandma’s chocolate cake. Because in this machine they had some sciences design what was the perfect tasting chocolate cake for you.

So you just don’t feel like going to see grandma. It’s not fun anymore because the simulation of the machine is more fun.

How Porn Kills Your Motivation To Take Action

So it’s the same way, same exact same thing with the girls and porn. Basically you jerk off to some porn and then you just don’t feel the motivation that you should to go out and meet REAL girls.

You feel like, “Yeah, I should go out… I should do this… I should do that… but I can just get pleasure and stimulation from watching pornography”.

And even if you DO go out, then because you have hedonic adaptation, the real girls are not really stimulating you in the same way, because you have been seeing tons of naked bodies, tons of naked girls in porn. You can’t control the fantasies exactly how you want. So when you see the girl in the club it’s just not as stimulating as it should be.

The Short-Term Trap Of Watching Porn

Now here is really the trap of porn.

In the very short-term, porn is awesome!

Let’s say an asteroid is going to hit the earth and you have 30 minutes. Are you going to be like, “Ah God, I got to meet some real girls”?

After all, you only have 30 minutes to live. You’re not going to get laid in 30 minutes.

If your outlook is 30 minutes from now, porn is great. Because you can get a lot of pleasure and a lot of stimulation from porn. You can expend zero time and effort to get that pleasure and stimulation.

The problem is that we tend to think very short-term. We want the short term payoff. So we’ll just watch porn.

The problem is on the long-term. Let us say, a 3 year timescale.

Take Two Guys- One Who Watches Porn, The Other Who Doesn’t…

Take one guy that’s watching porn and another guy that avoids porn. The guy who just skips out on porn, maybe three years from now he can have two or three girlfriends. He’s gotten laid like 20 or 30 times. He is socially sharp from going out. And because he’s been around girls, he feels that pressure on himself to go the gym, to look nice, be healthy, eat correctly, and have good habits.

Whereas the guy that just gives into the easy temptation of porn, gives into the quick stimulation of porn with no effort.

He doesn’t feel that pressure to look good.

He doesn’t feel that pressure to eat healthy or go to the gym.

He doesn’t feel that pressure to be social and be socially sharp.

He’s not going to have any girls around him.

And he’s not going to have two or three girlfriends. He is not going to be getting laid. So three years from now; even though there is a short-term payoff to watching porn which traps you into wanting to do it, over the long-term it’s a very negative habit. It’s really going to hold you back.

What About Cheat Days?  The Backsliding Problem

Now you might be asking, “Jesse, what about a cheat day? Can I have a cheat day where once a week I watch porn? I don’t do it very often, but I want to watch a little porn here and there.”

The problem with that is, you’ll watch porn once and then it can be very easy to backslide into that habit of watching it day after day, two or three days in a row, or worse.

You get the stimulation one day and then the next day you are like “I kind of want to see that other girl. I didn’t quite finish off to her”, so the second day you’re back to it.

It’s very easy to backslide into it if you have cheat days.

Cheat Days Aren’t For Champions

Another issue with cheat days is, if you want to be, for example, a great runner, you want to do marathons and you want to really excel at your hobby… then yes, you CAN have a cheat day eating all you can eat at McDonald’s every Saturday.  But it’s not going to make you the best marathon runner.

Doing that cheat day is really going to impinge on your results.

If you want to get the best results out of your hobby or out of your passion of women, you don’t want to have that cheat day of doing porn.

You want to align all of your habits to be good habits to give you the best results you can get. You don’t want to be cheating with bad habits.

You don’t want to be in the mindset that pornography is a positive reward. You want to see porn more like eating junk food or smoking, where you want to just avoid it completely. There’s really no reason to do a cheat day.

Watching Porn Will Kill Off Your Genes

Another thing to consider is that porn watching is a maladaptive trait, where your brain is tricked into thinking that porn is like fucking a real girl, when it’s not.

You’re wasting your time on the simulation fantasy. It’s not going to help you reproduce.

So basically you are going to have two groups of guys in society- first, guys that get sucked into porn because it’s tricking their brain. Their caveman brain can’t tell the difference between the fantasy and going after girls in real life.

Versus guys that, for whatever reasons their genes say, “I am going to skip the porn. I am going to go after real girls”.

Those are the guys that are going to be genetically successful.

They are going to have more sex.

They are going to have more children.

They are going to have more choice of women.

They are going to have more fit offspring to propagate their genes into future generations.

Whereas the guys that get all hung up on porn or spend a good deal of their days in front of porn are eventually going to get weeded out.

Which Side Are You On?

So, it’s really almost like a life-and-death struggle of your genes. Are you able to adapt to the post-1995 universe of the world, where porn is basically ubiquitous?

Can you still get the hot girls in that kind of situation, or is this new technology going to suck you into the abyss of not being able to procreate?

Because maybe you can’t not adapt to the new pitfalls in the new environment. And as you know, species go extinct or certain traits in the species go extinct when the environment changes and that species or groups within the species can’t adapt to the new environment.

So you want to be one of those guys that is adapting to modern society.  A guy who can still procreate, be successful genetically in evolution instead of being one of those guys that your lineage is going to be snuffed out because you wasted time watching porn with lack of motivation.

Leave me a comment!

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I am interested in what you have to say and I reply to a good number the comments when I get the chance.

347 Comments - Leave A Reply

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  1. Really!!! Thanks a lot for sharing this truth, which i knew already but didn’t have the gut to follow. But from now on, i not going to hold myself back at home. I am going enjoy those hard-times with girls whatever the situation may be.

  2. Maybe I’ve just been in the scientific community too long… but your article seems to include no real evidence. Everything is anecdotal. You don’t even mention something as simple as a survey that asks men how often/long they have watched porn compared to how often they go out/meet women/have sex. You are clearly targeting an audience of people already feeling guilty about watching porn. People who will listen to you not because it’s true, but because it’s what they want to hear. And for all I know, it may be true, but you’re arguments rely exclusively on guilt tripping and scare tactics. Any readers of this article should, at the very least, be skeptic of the claims Jese makes.

  3. Citations needed because this whole thing seems like utter horse shit. My husband has been watching porn since he was 12 and he has had lots of girlfriends. I have been looking at porn since I hit puberty and I had tons of boyfriends and a girlfriend. Most of my friends look at porn and they are all married or have had lots of partners.

    The only people who are going to fall into all of this shit are people who easily become addicted to things. My grandmother is a person like that. She’s addicted to Farmville, cigarettes, and soda. If she has to go without any of those things for very long she loses her mind.

    You can’t say porn does this to everyone because it’s just not true.

  4. Since watching porn becomes addictive,how does a man quit.seems like just wanting to quit isn’t enough. I have what I though was a really good relationship with my fiancé,we’ve been together 18yrs. He just admitted his long term habit to me&I am heartbroken and there is a hood chance I won’t be able to stay with him due to lack of trust. Any advice?

  5. Jesse I’m 20 going on 21 use to be popular got hurt and lost everything pretty much friends Gf and girls liking me I turned to porn for a relief and didn’t exspect to get carried away its a serious problem not sure what I should I can only do so much because of my accident I post all confidence and drive I’m afraid what should I do

  6. The real thing is too much work ! Computer sex rocks…when I get tired of jacking off to my perfect 10, I just find another to replace her…and best of all I don’t have to worry about any STD’s and wearing a condom just don’t feel the same. Also there’s no commitment or money out of my wallet for a date, and I don’t have to put up with a woman’s P.M.S…or honey I have a headache…Need I keep giving endless.examples of why my porn is superior…this is 2015, cybersex is the new wave…to all of you who agree, let me hear you holla !

  7. What nonsense. There is nothing wrong with watching porn as long as you keep it in proportion. Obviously if you spend your whole day and night at home pulling yourself off in front of the screen you have a problem, but there is nothing unhealthy about indulging in a bit of porn now and then.

    Why give people hang ups and make them feel guilty about themselves. That is so fucking Catholic!

    Hell, my girlfriend loves porn too. We have a normal life and an extra healthy sex life.

    And what the hell are you doing having an 11yr old comment on this thread? Your site should be 18+ or 21+ only for the info it is handing out.

    Let’s spell this out – anything you spend so much time on at home (or elsewhere) that starts to make you neglect yourself, your friends and your family to a large extent is unhealthy. That includes porn, drugs, video games and especially G.O.L.F. (Gay Outdoor Lifestyle with Fellas)