The central tenet of success in getting laid with the hottest girls comes down to the word — dominance.
After more than a decade approaching women and working my ass off, I’ve come to the conclusion that the single biggest determinant of a man’s success with women… is how dominant he is.
You can have presence like the Buddha, you can have the muscles of the rock, you can deliver jokes like George Carlin, you can be as eloquent as sophisticated as William Shakespeare, you can play the guitar like Adam Levine. But the truth is, if you are not dominant, you generally won’t achieve abundance with women. If you are not dominant, you will generally not get laid. At least not consistently and at least not with the hottest girls.
Put in another way, you can approach girls and be funny, you can approach girls and be well dressed, you can be smooth, you can be sexual, you could be the friendliest guy they’ve ever met, . . . and you’re still not going to see the results you want. Yes, You will get laid if you are approaching and you are just friendly and cool. . . But displaying signs of dominance is what will make the girl soaking wet in her pussy between her legs.
And there’s a big difference between light attraction, or curiosity, or fascination. . . and hard attraction, where the girl will not give you last minute resistance and she just wants you to straight up fuck her.
But if you want to take your results to much higher levels, the problem that I see with guys on boot camps again and again, is lack of dominance. And when they learn that dominance, their results skyrocket. And then being well dressed, being smooth, being friendly, being positive, being centered, are like little bonuses. But the core of what makes a guy successful with girls is dominance.
Is Dominance Really At The Heart of Attraction, Or Something Else?
I’m also cool by the way, if you have a bit of a different take on things, or if you disagree with me. As humans we want to look for patterns. Patterns to explain very complex reality and ambiguities. Because we want to simplify things to create a formula, to create a method that is repeatable and can be followed. Having patterns allows us to think less, and just follow the pattern and have more fun. And the pattern that I’ve found that works, again and again, is this central tenet of dominance.
Of course I’ve learned from people who believed the central issue was being positive. I’ve learned from people who believed the central issue was taking action. I’ve learned from people who believed that the most important factor was to have sexual intent and be horny and be present to the moment. So there’s many different ways to come at getting girls, all valid in their own ways, but what I’ve found is that when you get dominance handled, a lot of these other issues naturally fall into place.
The Characteristics of Dominance
- Dominance can mean displaying superior physical qualities, like being tall, being muscular, being fit, or even well dressed.
- Displays of dominance can mean taking up extra space, projecting your voice over others and being loud, or being comfortable touching other people.
- Dominance can mean making piercing, intensive eye contact and holding it.
- Dominance can mean leading the conversation, cutting off threads that are not going in the direction you want, not caring of what she thinks or her approval.
- Dominance can manifest itself in how you open the girl. It can mean persisting in the set and not walking away too quickly with your tail between your legs.
- Dominance can mean getting the girl’s attention and not backing down when she shit tests you.
- Dominance can mean leading the frame, qualifying the girl, being the buyer and not the seller.
And I don’t want you to get this caricatured, cartoon picture of what is a dominant man or dominant behavior. You *could* think of a huge, muscular guy on steroids that’s yelling at the girls, like “Hey you! Yes YOU! Come here!” And just roughly pulling her in without any calibration, trying to make out with her, and creeping the girls out.
It’s not that at all. A lot of very dominant guys come across as just being friendly and cool, and relaxed and centered, and they get the girls chasing them. But they’re doing very dominant things physically in their actions that are very subtle, but which most guys can’t pull off.
So what I’ve found, is that dominance is the universal underpinning of attraction. And scientific studies shows that too, where the results indicate that dominance and the traits associated with dominance are the greatest predictor of men’s dating success. More than looks, more than money, more than being a positive guy, and all that stuff.
Why Women Swoon For Dominant Men
Because women are hardwired in their genes, through millions of years of natural sexual selection, to have sex with the dominant man. And that goes back to tribal societies which human beings have been living in for the last millions of years.
The man who displayed dominant traits of leadership, of taking action, of leading the other men, were more likely to have more resources — more food, more access to animal hides, more access to clean water, more access to the protection and loyalty of the other men.
So it was in every woman’s best interest to be impregnated by the most dominant man in tribe. Because having children with him, would mean having more resources and her children would more likely survive into the next generation. So women are hardwired to respond to the guy that can build and lead social circles and can build and lead a functioning tribe.
There’s a couple more reasons why I like the dominance model for getting girls.
If you begin pickup starting at the frame of dominance, and you are acting dominant throughout the interaction, that will naturally bleed into the kind of sex you have with the girl – which will be crazy dominant and submissive sex – where you’re pulling the girl’s hair, you’re talking dirty to her, where she feels more open and free to act like a freak in the sheets.
For example, let’s say that your focus is on being positive instead. You’re a super positive guy, you’re going to use the principle of state transference to get the girl into a good mood, with positive emotions, and you got a big smile on your face. And let’s you get laid from that.
Well, the girl is going to react in bed to you in a particular way. She’s going to see you as “the positive guy”. So then, if you switch personalities in bed and you come across as being more kinky and dominant, say pulling her hair and giving her orgasms, you could freak her out a little bit. Because you’re not being congruent with who you were being during the pickup process.
But if your frame starts from being dominant, where you are in control and leading the interaction – well then, when you get the girl into your bed – it’s almost like the sex is simply an extension of the pickup. So she will go with the flow more, and do freaky things you want to do in the bedroom, because it’s more consistent with who you were during the social interaction… resulting in much hotter sex for both you and her.
It Forces Good Habits
Another reason I like dominance is because it requires that you develop an ecosystem of good habits. You simply cannot live a life of mediocrity all day and then suddenly turn on your dominant sexy self when you hit the nightclub.
You can’t be watching television all day, eating at McDonald’s, drinking beer, developing a big gut on your stomach, and then show up at the mall and be this dominant, leading, charismatic guy. At least not in most cases.
So if dominance is the core tenet behind your methodology of attraction, it requires you to develop an ecosystem of good habits. Hitting the gym, eating a clean diet, not spending all your time in front passive entertainments, not masturbating all the time to porn, not isolating yourself in front of computer games, not dwelling in negative self-destructive emotions.
Being Dominant Just Makes You Feel GOOD
Another reason I like dominance so much is because it just makes you feel fucking good. When you go up to a girl and you begin leading her and taking on dominant mannerisms, when you step into the shoes of that tribal leader, it pumps your state in a really nice natural way that feels… awesome.
Imagine that you’re throwing a party at a big house. And this is YOUR party, and everybody knows it’s your party. Guys are coming up to you giving you props. And the girls are asking who’s throwing the party and people point to you, and the girls are hovering around you and introducing themselves to you.
And in this kind of circumstance, where everyone is giving you positive feedback and positive attention, you will become more charismatic, because people are treating you as if you are the tribal leader.
And then you’re going to take on more dominant leading characteristics, such as naturally getting physical with girls, speaking whatever is on your mind and not censoring yourself. And that’s a really nice flow state that makes you feel like a man, that pumps your testosterone, that will pump up your state and make you feel terrific inside and out.
But you don’t need to be throwing a huge party to feel that, you can feel that great feeling every single day. Through dominance.
And again I like dominance because, to me, it’s the no bullshit way to achieve hard attraction on girls quickly and efficiently… at least compared to other models and methods!