Sex and Alcohol – Why Drinking Works (or Doesn’t)


I want to talk about what’s good about alcohol in terms of getting girls into bed and the negatives of alcohol. What are the tradeoffs? Should you be trading to help you out or should you stay away from drinking?

Well, here’s the good thing about drinking:

Let’s say that you’re a complete newbie and you’re not entitled, you’re not confident. You’re nervous around girls. You go to a bar, club, and you don’t feel like you belong there.

You feel awkward. It seems like everybody is having fun except for you and you go up to some girls and they just kind of blow you out. They reject you and it’s a nightmare.

It feels really difficult even trying to make that cold approach. Your heart is pounding out of your chest. You just feel awkward and different and girls are not even giving you good reactions and you just get blown out and it’s terrible. It’s horrible.

The Cheat Code

But there’s a little cheap code: you can take a drink. And you’re going to feel more lose, more free, more “unstifled.” Your natural personality will come out a little bit more. You’re going to feel a little bit more confident.

Let’s say a girl rejects you. You’re not going to care as much. So it’s going to make you feel you better. It might not turn you into some kind of pickup superhero, but at least you’re going to have a little bit more fun. You’re going to walk through the world with a little bit more ease. You’re going to feel more comfortable in the environment.

You’re going to have more good emotions flowing through your body. You’re going to have nicer little thoughts, nicer little signals pinging your brain. It’s going to make you feel better.

The Spiral

And so, the next night you go out, you’re going to be like, “Shall I go through the nightmare of not drinking or am I going to take this little magic bullet and drink again to feel a little bit better?” Of course, you’re going to take that drink.

On the third night, you’re going to drink some more. Fourth night, you’re going to drink some more. And it’s really like a little magic bullet. It really is. It will help you. It will make you feel more comfortable, possibly get you more results even.

In this society, we’re so used to having little magic bullets. I mean you’re not getting your dick up, take some Viagra. You want to lose some weight, take a fat-burning pill. You break your arm; you go to the doctor. You’re bored, you turn on the television and you get instant entertainment, so we’re kind of used to having quick fixes.

We’re trained that way in society. Rather than taking maybe the harder path or building more solid foundation, you just take a little pill and you get the results, and alcohol does that. It really does do that.

Now the downside of alcohol is that of course you’re going to gradually build a tolerance, so whereas at first, you had that one drink that kind of made you feel loose and good. Pretty soon, you need to have two drinks to do it. Pretty soon, you need to have three drinks to do it. After a while, you’re going to gradually descend into drunkenness where you have to keep drinking just to get that same feeling that you did when you didn’t have the tolerance when you started out with that one drink.

Situational Confidence

The other problem with alcohol is that you’re building your social skills, your social intuition, your personality, your sociable personality around alcohol as a crutch. For that better personality to come out, you are making neurological associations in your brain. You’re building deep entrenched habits that you have to drink for that to happen.

To be sociable with girls, to feel comfortable in a situation like a bar or club, you have to have some drinks, so maybe you even have to drink before you go to the bar or club just to get into that loose vibe. If you don’t have the alcohol, you just completely feel out of place. It feels weird. It feels wrong, and you’ve set up this really entrenched habits.

Instead of building core confidence where you are self-generating the emotions from inside of yourself, you are building situational confidence where you’re only confident in very particular circumstances and very particular situations that follow certain factors, and in this case, the factor is you need to have alcohol to feel confident.

No Turning Back

The really insidious thing about it is that you if you ever decide okay, I want to learn core confidence without the alcohol and you’ve been drinking all this time. Well now it’s even more difficult than when you first started as a newbie without the alcohol and everything felt weird and awkward and really difficult because now you’ve built again entrenched habits that if you were to stop drinking suddenly, not only are you going to feel weird like this is a nightmare talking to girls, but you’re almost addicted to that alcohol.

It’s like you can’t go back. You’ve dug a really deep hole for yourself that’s really difficult to crawl out of if you’ve been drinking.

The Health Issue

The other issue is that alcohol is literally a poison in your body.

Look, your body cannot utilize the alcohol molecules. It tries to get rid of those molecules through sweat, through your piss, through your breath, through your poop.

It tries to get all the alcohol out of your body as quickly as possible because it is a poison to the body that cannot be utilized for any nutritional value in any way. It’s hard on your body. It’s hard on your liver, and it prematurely ages you.

Also, you have trouble sleeping. You’re more irritable in the morning. It’s going to help make you want to eat junk food, and you’re going to put fat on your face. It just ages you. It tears you down. Instead, you want to be treating your body like a temple.

I mean look going out and meeting girls consistently is not difficult but it’s physically demanding. It’s physically demanding. You have to be in top shape. You want to treat this as if you are an athlete, and you are doing this on a pro level. That means you have to treat your body well, and alcohol would just turn it down.

What’s attractive to girls

It’s also attractive to women when you treat your body with a certain level of respect in the same way that if you go to a club and there’s a bunch of girls there, and there’s a pretty girl there and she has a great personality. She’s bubbly, and she’s lighthearted, and she’s having fun. She’s smiling and she’s carefree. She’s not drinking whereas her friends, they might be all drinking and they have to drink to kind of pull them into that side of their persona.

But that’s very rare when a girl cannot drink. She’s pretty, and she has a great personality. That’s very rare it’s almost like okay, this is a different level of girl. This is a different kind of girl. I want to marry this girl because she doesn’t have to rely on this abusing her body, or putting this substance into her body to be a fun person, to have a great personality. That’s very rare.

When girls see that you can do that, you can self-generate your own good emotions, when you can draw your own good emotions through core confidence without having to rely on alcohol, they see, “Wow! That’s a different kind of guy. That’s a unique guy. That’s a rare guy. I want to get to know that guy better.”

That makes them curious. That fascinates them a little bit, especially with quality girls and smart girls that can recognize that this is something unique in you.

In summary, do I think alcohol is worth it? No, I don’t. I mean it does benefit you in the short-term but in terms of the long term, it tears down your house. You develop situational confidence. You tend to descend into drunkenness and then you can’t get out of the alcohol. It’s like a trap that really traps you and you can’t get back out of it.

The key is that you want to be developing your entitlement, your sense of entitlement, your “unstifleness,” your sense of personality without the alcohol from the very beginning if you can. That’s a very attractive trait to girls and in the long run, you’re building a solid foundation on which to stand.

You’re building a solid foundation to really get results over the long haul and not be looking for a quick fix built on a foundation of sand that will quickly crumble underneath you.

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7 Comments on "Sex and Alcohol – Why Drinking Works (or Doesn’t)"

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1 year 3 months ago

awesome keeps me on the right track keep it coming

thereal pua
thereal pua
1 year 3 months ago

this video is useless. make a video about creating attraction !

1 year 3 months ago

Awesome video, Jesse! The analogy where you compared athletes to pickup, was incredibly relatable and an eye-opener! Sometimes all one needs to continue on with the grit is with more energy! I agree that everyone should work on developing core-confidence, and that too much alcohol could lead into situational confidence, but what about in moderation? I find that if you drink alcohol once in a while, it helps tremendously.

Social Playground
Social Playground
1 year 3 months ago

U r the man! Keep it coming

Joseph Spicer
Joseph Spicer
1 year 3 months ago

Rings true for me in that when i gave up alcohol, i could see how people would see how unique i was in a group setting. Completely liberating for me : )