Because usually what I see when I am teaching one-on-one besides guys having approach anxiety and besides guys wanting to not lose instead of playing to win is that they’re not creating a man-to-woman connection with the girl. It’s purely platonic. It’s purely friendly. It’s purely friend-to-friend.
What happens is it’s just chitchat and after a couple of minutes, the girl tends to get bored and the conversation just fizzles out because there’s no sexual tension and she’s like, “Okay, it was nice to meet you. Goodbye!”
Then the guy is just standing there, “Okay, nice to meet you. A really friendly talk we had together.”
It really doesn’t lead anywhere.
Friend to friend vs Man to Woman!
The problem is that guys are not communicating man-to-woman. Instead, they are purely communicating as friend-to-friend and there is a lot of small talk. There is a lot of chitchat. Then when the sexual topics come up, the guy kind of skirts around it or avoids it, or doesn’t bring it up at all. In the end, you’re just getting friend zoned.
Again, this is always happening on boot camps. It’s extremely chronic. I see it with tons of guys and I think this is why 90 percent of guys that kind of get into this, that are kind of interested in the game, and then they cycle out after 3 or 6 months and give up because they’re lacking this man-to-woman sexual tension in their interactions. It’s just pure friend-to-friend.
What you got to be doing on the most basic level is you want to be lining up squarely with the girl, facing her face-to-face, making really strong eye contact, and you’ve got to be leading. You’ve absolutely got to be leading because at the end of the day, girls are not going to make any of the moves.
Tip: It’s YOUR responsibility to create sexual tension!
The responsibility for moving the interaction forward is 100 percent squarely on your shoulders. Why is that? Imagine how nervous you are, making moves on girls.
Imagine that for a girl, she has this social stigma on her that she’s not supposed to make moves. She’s been taught since she was 4 years old that if she were to make moves on a guy, she’s going to be a slut and be ostracized by society, ostracized by her friends and family. Girls are taught from a really young age not to initiate, not to move things forward.
If you can imagine how nervous you are ‑ I mean you don’t have to imagine how nervous you are ‑ you know how nervous you can be. Imagine how nervous the girl is when it comes to making moves.
It’s 100 percent on you to completely assume the burden of leading the interaction.
Here’s what you got to do. You’ve got to take charge. You’ve got to bring things forward 100 percent on your own. You’ve got to escalate physically with the girl. You want to cut into her space. You want to face her square on. You want to make really strong eye contact. You want to make statements of intent. You want to go in for the kiss. You can also optionally compliment her on the open or compliment her relatively early on to create that underlying sexual tension that will last throughout the rest of the interaction.
She basically needs to know that you are there as a man. She needs to know that you have a dick, that you could potentially have sex with her. You could potentially end up in bed with her. It can’t be all really friendly chitchat otherwise the girl is going to get extremely bored and cut off the interaction.
You have to go to that place first. You can’t wait for the girl.
Tip: Sexual Tension Early!
Another really important tip here is that you want to do this as early as possible because the longer you wait to say, “Look at me. I have a dick all of a sudden,” the more awkward it’s going to be.
Two things I typically see is guys are super friend-to-friend. There’s no sexual tension whatsoever. At the very end of the conversation, maybe 15 minutes later, he’s like, “By the way, I think you’re really hot. Let me get your number.”
See it’s not congruent with who you’ve been. It feels like this kind of falseness like, “He was talking to me as if he were a friend and now he’s pulling out his dick. He was hiding it. He wasn’t manly enough to show it.” It’s not just that attractive to a girl.
Even worse, a lot of guys have this plan where, “I’m going to befriend the girl,” – this usually happens more in social circles – “I’m going to befriend the girl, and after 2 or 3 weeks, after she sees what a great guy I am. Then I’m going to pull out my dick and get all sexual and create that man-to-woman tension going on.”
That can be really awkward to the girl because now you’ve trained her to see you as a friend and put you in that frame. It’s just weird and awkward getting out of this.
You want to introduce that man-to-woman sexual through eye contact, through a compliment, through physical escalation, whatever it maybe, through statements of intent right off the bat, within the first minute of the interaction.
Tip: Err on too much!
Another really important tip is if you’re going to err on the side of too little and not doing it at all and err on the side of maybe going overboard, you want to go err on the side of going overboard. Because if you create too much sexual tension, let’s say worst-case scenario, you’re going to make the girl feel a little bit uncomfortable like, “Whoa! This guy is moving too fast,” she’s going to tense up. You’re going to sense that tensing up.
But it’s very easy to walk it back. It’s very easy even to kind of give like a little apology like, “Yeah, I can go a little too far with my friends. That’s just how I am. I’m sorry.” Then you can just kind of walk it back a little bit.
But if you’re not doing enough or if you’re not creating any sexual tension whatsoever, you’re just digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole that’s really hard to pull yourself out of it.
It’s going to be a balance. There’s a sweet spot there and it’s a little bit of hard to teach you the exact sweet spot of how much sexual tension, how much pressure on you want to be creating because it’s a little bit like me teaching you, “Okay, how far can you stand on one foot and balance to the right before you’re going to fall over?”
Well, it’s kind of hard to explain that in the video. Really you need to kind of have the experience out in the field to know exactly how much pressure on and how much sexual tension you want to be applying. You can quickly learn that and even if you go too much again, you can always walk it back.
So, that’s the key to getting women’s pupils and their eyes dilated and get their heart beating and get their nipples hard and get attracted to you quickly. It’s creating that man-to-woman interaction from the very beginning and leading them physically, escalating and making that eye contact and creating statements of intent and so on. That’s what will get girls turned on rather than just conversations always is allowed, which I see again and again. That’s a big, big problem.