I want to talk about why you need to lower the woman’s standards in your mind and I’m going to explain what that means because it’s really important if you want to have an amazing girlfriend or you just want to construct an amazing sex life for yourself.
This is a topic that isn’t touched on too much in the pickup community yet very, very important. You need to lower the standards of what you think the girl is looking for in a man.
Now if you see an amazing woman pass by, most likely you’re thinking she wants a guy that is tall, handsome, jacked, ripped, has the abs, has the money, he’s an amazing conversationalist. You’re imagining that she has these super high standards for what she’s looking for in a man and when you do that, first of all she feels sex-worthy of her yourself.
What Normally Happens With Hot Girls
You don’t feel entitled to her. That’s going to most likely cause you enormous approach anxiety.
You’re not even going to talk to her.
But even if you do, you are going to be nervous that you’re taking up her time and space.
You’re going to be inside your head.
You’re going to be filtering everything that you say.
You’re going to be thinking to yourself what do I say next.
You’re not going to feel comfortable.
You’re going to act a little bit weird.
You might be talking really fast and be too high energy with the girl and you’re going to make the girl feel weird and you’re going to make the girl feel uncomfortable.
At best you’re going to have a friend-to-friend interaction, not a man-to-woman interaction. At best, she might give you a fake phone number to make you go away or something, but it’s not going to lead anywhere.
The Solution to Confidence – Lower HER Standards
So the solution to that lack of entitlement that you feel is to lower her standards in your mind of what think she’s looking for.
You got to understand something – 99 percent of the men approaching her are either (A) drunk; (B) acting weird because they’re so inside their head, they’re up there trying to impress her they’re not just being themselves; or (C) they’re acting outright creepy around her.
When you ask a beautiful woman, what kind of pickup lines do you get, these women will tell you, “You know I don’t know what pickup lines I get, but why are these guys all trying so hard? Why are they acting all weird? Why can’t they just be normal?”
However, if you can be that guy who is at ease, who feels entitled to be talking with her, if you can be that guy that’s assuming that the girl is getting a win out of this interaction, if you’re the guy who’s assuming that she’s going to enjoy the interaction and that she’s going to want to take your number and want to hear back from you, and that you are going to make her day by speaking to her, that you are entitled to be there, and that you’re both getting something out of this, then you’re going to come across with good body language, good vocal tonality, good eye contact.
You’re going to nice, chilled, relaxed, you’re going to make the girl feel comfortable, and that is so rare to find in a guy. You’re going to blow out your competition.
That’s why you cannot set her standards so high because you can very easily set yourself apart. If you don’t do that, if you’re not lowering her standards, what’s going to happen is you’re going to feel like you need to bust all the advanced pickup ninja moves, the double back flip routine, the super duper flip around routine on this girl.
If You Don’t Lower HER Standards Then…
You’re going to act weird.
You’re going to act too high energy, you’re going to act too frantic.
You’re going to have poor eye contact.
You’re not going to feel like you deserve to be there.
You’re going to feel like you’re taking the time and space.
You’re going to make her feel uncomfortable and weird.
So again, it’s very important to lower her standards in your mind.
Now the flipside to that is that you also have to lower your own standards. It amazes me how guys just beat themselves up when they go approach a girl and they don’t get their ideal results, if they don’t instantly get to make out, if they don’t get instantly get a phone number or date from a girl.
Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself
I remember back in the late 1990s when I started early 2000s, I was super excited just to do an approach at all. Just the idea of taking action on a girl pumped me, gave me like adrenaline, made me feel good even if it didn’t go anywhere most of the time.
You know nowadays you have so many Internet videos, such high expectations, guys are expecting to get results within just a week or two and they feel down on themselves. They beat themselves up when they don’t get a date right away, when they are still not getting sex within the first week or so.
So you got to be not so hard on yourself and understand taking action, going up to that girl is a success. Pushing your comfort zone at all is a big success, not set your standards are too high or what you think can accomplish when you first start out. You also can’t set your standards so high in terms of your foibles and your flaws. You can’t be so hard on yourself in terms of your flaws.
What Girls Want
Every guy out there has foibles and flaws, but it’s the confident man that understands his foibles and flaws and takes action anyway.
That’s what confidence is that you know you have these defects but they don’t hold you back. There’s nothing keeping you back from taking action.
That comes across as looking confident to other people and girls don’t want like this perfect guy.
They just want a guy that feels perfectly at ease with himself.
They don’t want a guy without foibles and flaws.
They want a guy that doesn’t care about his foibles and flaws.
They want a guy that doesn’t give a shit.
That is confidence to girls.
The Formula for Success
So if you want to have far more entitlement with girls to the point where you can go up to an amazing woman and just be chilled and relaxed and cool and treat her as if you were making a new friend and make her perfectly at ease and comfortable, you want to do those two things.
(1) You want to first lower her standards in your mind about what she thinks she’s looking for in a guy and just understand that 99 percent of men are no competition. They’re either drunk or making her very uncomfortable and being weird or they are outright creepy.
(2) Second, you want to lower the standards for yourself. you don’t want to be beating yourself up over every single interaction and you want to lower your standards in terms of your foibles and flaws and of course you want to work on yourself but you don’t want to imagine that you have to become this perfect man, this completely enlightened beautiful being. That’s never going to happen. You want to embrace your foibles and flaws, be cool with them, be comfortable with them, even feature your foibles and flaws and that is what confidence is to a girl that you don’t give a shit and realize that girls don’t want the perfect man. They just want the guy that is comfortable and ease with himself.