Tip: Don’t Ask Girls ‘Yes or No’ Questions!

Jesse

I just have a really quick tip for you. It’s just that you want to avoid asking girls yes or no questions because when you ask a girl a yes or no question, you are basically her to make a split-second decision about you, going to her rational thinking mind, and saying yes or no.

You are presenting her with an easy opportunity to possibly say no to something, and in the seductive process, you don’t want to hear the word no.

It’s really important to avoid yes or no questions. For example, you don’t really want to ask a girl, “Hey, can I have your number?” Yes or no, because it’s just so socially easy. It’s like greasing the wheels for the girl to say, “No!” You don’t want to ask her something in terms of a binary choice.

Instead you want to ask something like, “How can we stay in touch?” Now the beauty of this is that it’s making the assumption that she will stay in touch. It’s assuming that you’re going to stay in touch somehow, so she doesn’t have this easy way to say no. It’s more socially awkward for her to say, “No! I don’t want to stay in touch.”

Girls usually just want to go with the flow. They don’t want to cause any problems. They don’t want to create social awkwardness, so girls are not going to say yes to that.

On top of that, you can just easily transition into leading. Maybe, the girl doesn’t have an answer for you. Maybe, she wants to stay in touch through Facebook. You can just leave it to that point, be able to show her your phone and say, “Okay. Put your number into here.”

That way you are just far more likely to be able to collect a phone number.

Don’t Ask Her ‘Yes or No’ Questions

An example is with qualification. For example, if you are qualifying a girl, you don’t want to ask her, “Are you spontaneous?” Yes or no, because again you’re just giving her this option to say no to you. So a far better way to ask that are you spontaneous or not is just to tell the girl, ask her, “So how spontaneous are you?”

The beauty of this again is that you are assuming that she’s spontaneous. It’s harder for her to say, “No, I’m not spontaneous,” so she’s going to just be giving you an answer about how spontaneous she is in a much more beautiful way to ask that question and get a good response because again in the seductive process, you don’t want to be hearing the words no from a girl.

Use Statements of Assumption

Another little tip is that a lot of times the yes or no questions can be reframed or restated as statements of assumption.

Instead of asking the girl, “So do you think I’m cute?” Yes or no. You can just make a statement to the girl and say, “I know you’re really in love with me. I can see it in your eyes.”

That’s a lot more powerful than necessarily asking the girl – I mean if you know the girl is going to say yes, if you know that you’re just this great-looking man, and she’s really, really into you, you can say, “Hey! Do you think I’m cute?” in a dominant way that’s kind of breaking rapport, not really asking the question. It’s like breaking neutral rapport, a statement. That can work really well.

But if you’re kind of not sure, you don’t want to give the girl an opportunity to say no, just restate it as a statement of assumption.

But Don’t Get Inside Your Head

This is something to keep in mind, but you don’t want to be splitting it over. I mean you don’t want to have this as, “Oh, my gosh! I’d better remember not to ask yes or no questions,” and then get inside your head about it, and you said there’s one more reason to have approach anxiety, one more reason to be stressing out about pickup.

In the conversational process, in the seductive process, you want to be outside your head. You want to have this freedom from outcomes.

You don’t want to have this list of 100 things you got to remember like I got to remember not to ask yes or no questions. That is going to come with time.

You just want to take action, not worry about a little detail like this and then maybe record your conversations, listen back on your conversations, and maybe you’ll pick out, “Oh, I could have changed this. I could have tweaked this. This was a yes or no questions. I could have stated that in a better way that didn’t give her the opportunity to say no.”

It’s just something to be aware of, not before you’re taking action but more after you’re taking action. It’s a way to review what you’ve done. It’s a small detail. This is not going to make or break you having success with women.

If you have a lot of eye contact and you are not reacting to the girl; you are making the girl react to you and you are leading and you are speaking with a nice booming voice and a good tonality, and you have a smile on your face and you have positive energy. All that is way more important than when you ask a yes or no question.

But it’s a little detail and little details can add up like remember-ring her name, remembering to speak her name back to her, it creates more of a connected feeling. These tricks and tips can add up but don’t sweat it if you are a newbie. It’s just something that you have there that you are aware of that you can review after you’ve taken action.

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