I want to talk about why I see a very strong correlation between men that lift weights, go to the gym, and men that do really well with pickup.
They meet the girl of their dreams or they build for themselves a little harem.
Why conversely men that don’t go the gym and don’t lift weights maybe they watch of a lot of theory, they watch a lot of videos, but they don’t take action. They don’t get results. It has to do with weightlifting being a linchpin habit.
On the one hand, you know sometimes you’ll see exceptions – guys that are overweight, guys that are really skinny and lanky, they never really go to the gym but they are great at meeting women, but it’s probably not going to be you because it’s very exceptional.
The Linchpin Habit
Lifting weights is a linchpin habit.
If you’re not lifting weights, a lot of other really great micro habits that are very essential to doing well with girls tend to fall apart, tend to fall to the wayside.
Women want to see a man that takes care of himself just like you want to see a woman, you are going to be attracted to a woman that physically takes care of herself. She doesn’t have to be a fitness model, but you want to see that she cares about herself, that she cares about her body.
Women want to see that in a man as well, but more importantly than that, lifting weights is a linchpin habit. You don’t lift weights, a lot of other habits fall apart and your game falls apart.
It’s kind of like the keystone in a Roman arch. You take out that top stone in an arch and all the other stones collapse inward. That arch just tends to fall apart. It’s the same with lifting weights.
My Story: Bounceback
I’m going to illustrate a story on myself. I was lifting weights very intensely, doing really well. My pickup, my game was really on point. I was on fire literally when I had a small injury and I had to take 4 weeks off.
Immediately after those 4 weeks, I did 2 months of very intense traveling, so I have over 3 months where I didn’t go to the gym at all.
What I noticed was that by the end of those 3 months, a lot of my other habits had fallen apart and I wasn’t motivated to go out and meet women.
First of all, when I go to the gym and lift heavy weights, I’ve invested in myself. If you’ve invested a lot of time in yourself, you don’t feel like going out to McDonald’s and eating a hamburger and fries and milkshake. You don’t want to ruin your progress.
But when I had 3 months of not lifting weights, it felt really easy to cheat. It’s like, “Okay, you know whatever! Fuck it! I’ll just eat the hamburger. I’ll just eat that bread.” So you’re not on point with your diet anymore. You let yourself slide a lot more.
Then I started to gain weight.
The Downward Spiral
I didn’t feel as good about myself, and then pretty soon, I wasn’t doing my affirmations. I wasn’t working on the self-talk inside my head that tells myself that I’m awesome, that I’m the best guy a girl could ever meet, just daily affirmations I like to do. I started to let that slide as well.
I started not feeling as good about myself. I started to have less sexual drive. I started to have less motivation. I started to have less energy, and I just didn’t feel going out and meeting girls anymore. It just felt like, “Man! That’s a lot of energy expenditure. I’m not just feeling it. I’m not just in the mood.”
That was a gradual decline over 3 months, and it was a downward spiral.
I started putting on more weight and my testosterone falls further. My testosterone falls further, I put on more weight.
I eat even more junk food because I don’t feel that good about myself. I don’t feel motivated, and pretty soon the whole pickup adventure falls apart.
I think that’s the same process that happens with a lot of men that don’t lift weights. They never get started. They think it’s a good idea, but they just never get started with it because they don’t have the physical stamina to do it. They don’t have the physicality to make it happen.
The Gym = Upward Spiral
So you want to create an upward spiral for yourself where you’re lifting weights.
When you start eating cleaner, you start dressing better, you start doing affirmations.
Pickup is not about I’m going to learn one little trick and make the girl my sexual slave that she’ll just like a robot fall for my little trick. It’s more like I’m going to improve myself so that I’m attractive to all women, that I can attract any woman, that I always feel good about myself, that I feel great about myself, that I feel that entitlement to have that beautiful woman.
That depends a lot on having the right keystone habit in place, the right linchpin habit that keeps all the other habits going. For me at least and from what I’ve seen for a lot of guys, that is lifting weights.
Lifting heavy weights, that is the linchpin habit that keeps your other habits in place, that keeps them going. Take away lifting and it’s like taking the keystone out of the Roman arch and the whole arch just falls apart.
Definitely, I recommend if you are not lifting weights to start doing it. I’ve got other videos on my tips on lifting heavy weights.