Nothing to Win, Nothing to Lose – Women Are Not Problems

Jesse

I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced approach anxiety or you just don’t feel motivated to go out and meet girls because it’s tiring and exhausting and you’re worried about what kind of reaction you’re going to get.

Well, you want to watch all the way to the end of this video because I’m going to be sharing with you a mindset shift that you can make, an inner game technique that is going to make approaching women feel way easier.

You’re going to have less approach anxiety.

You’re going to get much better reactions from girls because you’re going to be giving off and much more positive energy and just all around it’s going to make your game way better.

That’s making the mindset shift that there is nothing to win and there is nothing to lose and you are not in competition with these girls. You are simply contributing to the positive energy.

Now let me give you a couple of examples.

Let’s say you’re thinking, “Okay, should I go out and meet girls during the day or should I go out and meet girls during the night?”

Now during the day, girls are often by themselves, and at night they are usually in groups or in two sets – a girl with her friend or a girl and a group of girls. At night, the friend is typically going to cock block me, cause me trouble. I’ve got to entertain both girls. I’ve got to entertain the group. It’s just that I’m going to have to deal with that hassle, so day game is going to be easier because I can just go up to the one girl. I only have to deal with her, and I don’t have to deal with all this bullshit from her friends.

The Me Vs Them Frame

Now look at where that mentality is coming from. It’s coming from a “me versus them” frame where I am in competition, where I can either win something or I can lose something and the girls are almost my enemy, at least maybe the target is my friend but her friends are my enemy. They’re obstacles that have to be handled.

You want to make this mindset shift that you are not in competition with them but that you actually want to embrace the group.

You want to meld with the group where you’re not trying to get something from the group.

But you are simply contributing to the positive energy where you are aligning your own personal interest with the interest of those girls where you see a group and you are empathizing with that group. You just kind of walk melding into the group where whatever their interests are, that’s also your interest and that’s primarily contributing to the positive energy, making the group feel elevated as a whole.

Let’s say you walk into a bar and you get there and you just see that there’s no hot girls there.

Everybody are 6’s and 7’s and you don’t feel motivated really to go talk to anybody. Either two things are going to happen.

You’re just going to turn around and leave because you are in this win or lose mindset, this competitive mindset where you’re going to feel deflated like you’ve lost something, where you feel let down, or you’re going to go in there and talk to people but you’re going to becoming across with very bland, boring energy.

You’re not going to be contributing to the group because again this competitive mindset, you’re not attracted to any of the girls and maybe just don’t talk to anybody and you’re wallflowering and you’re not contributing to the group in any way.

Meld Your Interests With The Group

Instead you want to go in there and meld with the group. You want to embrace the group. You want to make their interests your interest. You want to align your personal interest with the group’s.

Think of it as like cells in the body. The human body has many specialized cells that perform different functions but they all have the same DNA so you have skin cells and cells in the brain and cells in the heart. They’re all different cells but they’re contributing to the same goal, and together, they make something very special ‑ a human being.

Instead when you walk into a bar with your own interests, you’re almost like that cancer cell that has its own interest from the human body. It’s just dividing on its own and it will eventually kill its hosts, so you don’t want to be that cancer cell. You want to align your interests with the other girls in that bar.

You never know what can happen. At least you’re going to be able to socialize. You can practice socializing with girls.

Maybe a hot girl will walk in.

Maybe you’ll meet a beautiful girl through serendipity.

Maybe one of the girls will introduce you to their hot friend.

You could develop more social circle and be introduced to hot girls.

You never know what’s going to come out of it and at the very least, you can be practicing.

How It Helps Approach Anxiety

Another situation, too, is just helping with approach anxiety.

If you see a beautiful girl walking by and you have this competitive mindset that you need to get something from her, that you are separate.  It’s going to be like, “Okay, there’s the hot girl. She’s over there, and I’m right here. I’m going to go right up to her. I’m going to run my A game on her and hopefully she’s going to like it, hopefully she’s going to like me because if she doesn’t, she’s a bitch.” It’s just kind of like this separation from the girl.

Instead you want to be aligning your own personal interests with the girl.

You want to assume attraction where you’re assuming she’s going to be attracted to you and assuming that you can contribute to the positive vibe that she’s going to enjoy it, that you can provide value to her.

Whatever your interests are, that’s going to be her interests and whatever her interests will be your interests. You’re aligning your interests; instead of a competitive project, this is a collaborative project.

That’s really going to take the edge off the approach anxiety.

Now on the one hand, that might kind new to you, right? It doesn’t sound completely rational or scientific but by shifting out of this competitive mindset where the girl is a separate entity with separate interests, where she’s an obstacle that has to be overcome, where it’s almost like a war of wills and converting that into more of a collaborative project where you are just both contributing to the energy and you are aligning her with your interest.

First of all that’s going to feel a lot less exhausting.

Save Energy And Effort

It’s going to be a lot less tiring and as you know, my formula MESA, Minimal Effort Sexual Acceleration, is all about minimizing time and effort and still getting the results you want, still getting that incredible perfect 10 girlfriend, still developing an incredible sex life by putting in the minimal amount of time and energy and effort.

Having these correct mindsets is key to not tiring yourself out, not exhausting yourself motivated to achieve the goals you want with women.

In my own personal case, sometimes I want to go out but I start thinking to myself, “My gosh! I don’t want to deal with this cock-blocking friends.

Some of these girls are super annoying. They just say the same things all the time. I don’t want to deal with overcoming these obstacles or dealing with shit tests from these girls.”

When I have that kind of mentality, it’s just exhausting, thinking about it.

It’s exhausting before I even go out because I am setting up this competitive situation where I’m either going to win or I’m going to lose and the girls are just obstacles that are getting in my way because I have something that I need done. I have something I need to accomplish or me, me, me! Fuck these girls! That’s very tiring.

Embrace The Girl, She’s Not An Obstacle

Instead, you want to make that mindset shift to melding with the girl, embracing with them.

When I do that, suddenly it’s like ahh, suddenly it’s like this heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Suddenly it feels fun again. Suddenly, it feels enjoyable. Instead of it being exhausting, it becomes exhilarating.

It becomes fun. It becomes energizing.

I look forward to finally meeting the girls because even if say her friend is giving me shit or cock blocking me or getting in the way, I’m just aligning my interests with hers.

I’m just embracing that. I’m like that’s cool. That’s fun. That’s just part of the dynamic. I’m not going to be resisting that situation. My interests are aligned with your interests. I’m just here to the positive energy of the group.

Funny enough that will get you much better results because the girls feel that positive energy coming off of you. They feel like there is no pressure. They just see that you’re a fun guy that’s not putting a lot of pressure on them, and you will get better results. It takes the edge off approach anxiety. It keeps things fun. It keeps you motivated.

Just good attitude all the way around, so that’s definitely a mindset shift you want to make for conserving time and energy, for conserving effort, and having great nights out and meeting girls during the day with less approach anxiety.

 

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