I want to go over a very important principle of game that is way more important than any trick, or line, or quick technique you could do on a girl that will actually get you a really hot girlfriend, get girls in your bed, get you the results that you want and that is persistence.
That is actually staying in set because girls have to see consistent, congruent behavior over a span of time.
Any guy can learn how to act and look cool for a minute or 2 minutes or 3 minutes. A girl needs to see that consistent behavior over a span of a couple of minutes just to hook her in set where she is investing as much in the conversation as you are but also see that consistent behavior over a period of maybe an hour or couple of hours, or even over a span of couple of days where she says, “Okay, this guy is a real deal. He’s not putting on a façade. He’s not putting on a front. He is actually the alpha guy I am looking for with strong body language, strong eye contact. He’s unreactive. He’s sociable. He’s comfortable in his own skin. He’s relaxed. He’s chill.”
She wants to see that over a period of time, just like a good job interviewer, a boss. A boss is not going to hire somebody off of a 1-minute interview.
The boss is not going to hire someone off of a 3-minute interview. They want to see in that prospect consistent behavior that this person will be good for the job, which could be over the course of an hour or a couple of hours. That’s why it’s so important that you learn to stay in set, that you do not bail on your sets. You hang in there with good eye contact, breaking rapport tonality, being unreactive, etc., etc., the relaxedness, chillness.
I’ve been in circumstances where I opened a group of girls and they just completely ignored me. They gave me the hot girl blasé, so to speak. Again, I just remained unreactive. I opened them again, same thing: completely ignored hot girl blasé. Opened them a third time, and suddenly the girls opened up to me. The girls are suddenly friendly.
What’s that demonstrating is that persistence is that I don’t crumble under a test, that they are seeing consistent behavior over a short period of time; in this case over a couple of minutes but whereas most guys will just crumble and slink away and give up, me hanging in there, it displays to the girls that I have these alpha-male characteristics, that I’m not reacting to them, that they don’t control my feelings, that I’m generating my own positivity from within, which is a very attractive characteristic.
Reaching The Hook Point
With a really hot girl, sometimes you just got to stay in set for a couple of minutes.
You might be talking to her or doing 90 percent of the talking.
She’s not really giving you anything in return back but by staying in set and being unreactive and being cool and being chill and showing that how she’s reacting to you doesn’t bother you, doesn’t affect you, that’s a very attractive characteristic that girls will like a lot and then the girl will suddenly open up to you.
You’ve reached the hook point and then you just demonstrating those personality traits over a couple more hours and that’s when the girls start to get really attracted and she’s ready to jump into bed.
That’s why being attracted to girls isn’t something that you do but it’s something that you are as a person. I mean I could give you a cool line or a cool technique that would get a girl laughing for a minute or two, but that’s not going to get her into your bed. She needs to see congruent consistent qualities of you over the course of a couple of hours to get her into bed.
Basically, your true self is always shining through. Even if I give you a cool technique that got the girl laughing, she could just throw a congruence test at you or shit test and say, “Hey, so why are you here by yourself? Where are your friends?” Or, “You know, you are a little bit too short for me.” Then you will just crumble because you’re relying too much on a little trick but you don’t actually feel entitled inside to have the girl and you don’t persist in set. You just assume that the girl is not into you, and you slink away rather than hanging in there and demonstrating your personality over the course of a longer period of time.
How to Stay Persistent In Set
Okay, so you’re asking, “Jesse, how do I stay in set? How do I learn to be persistent?”
Well that just takes time of going out, of pushing your comfort zone because when you go out into the field, push your comfort zone, actually take action that forces you to man up. That forces you to become more unreactive, that forces you to learn to stay in set because you’re going to go up to a girl, she’s going to give you a little congruence test. You’re going to bail. Interaction lasts 30 seconds. You’ll be like, “Fuck! I could have stayed in there.”
So you go up to another girl. You bail too quickly. You’re like, “Damn! I sure have really stayed in there. I should have listened to Jesse and persisted.”
You go up to another girl and you bail out too quickly, and you leave the set, and then you think to yourself, “Oh, my gosh! I really should have persisted.”
Eventually you’re going to become so frustrated that the pain of bailing out of the sets will become greater than the pain of staying in there and pushing your comfort zone. You’re going to get leverage on yourself, and then you’ll actually learn how to stay in set just through the pain of doing it, through the pain of pushing your comfort zone a little bit each day.
Same process to learn how to become unreactive, so you don’t take everything personally from a girl, that you learn to ground yourself and generate your own feelings from within. That just takes time that takes in-field practice consistently going out.
Now if you find yourself in sets that don’t last very long, maybe 30 seconds and you find yourself bailing out of sets prematurely, then you have a persistence problem, you’re not staying in set long enough. That’s something you definitely want to work on by getting more in-field practice.