I want to explore why women go after bad boys, why do women have an attraction for bad boys.
Now certainly some women more than others there’s going to be girls that fall head over heels for bad boys. But there’s also just this general sense of attraction that all women have for that guy with a little bit of an edge, that guy with a little bit of danger, and what’s the reason for that because on one level, it doesn’t really make sense.
A bad boy is not going to be taking care of her. He’s not going to be a good provider to her, even if he promises her the world on a silver platter, you know he’s not going to deliver and the girl probably realizes on some level that he’s not going to deliver.
Why the bad boy? Why instead the more safe, ordinary guy that could be a good provider and is nice and super friendly?
Average Girl’s Day
Well, you got to think of the average girl’s day. She wakes up in the morning and she eats breakfast. Maybe she eats some cereal. She drinks some orange juice. She heads to the bathroom, She takes a shower. She blow-dries her hair. She puts on some makeup. She checks her phone to see if there is any messages, and sure enough there is a very friendly nice guy compulsively sending her too many messages and he’s not taking the hint that she’s not interested.
She has some messages from her friends. She replies to her friends. She checks her Facebook. She goes downstairs. She gets dressed. She grabs her handbag. She gets into her car. She takes off. She’s sitting in traffic, stop and go, stop and go, stop and go. She’s sitting there. She arrives to work. She sits down. She gets on her computer. She’s pounding away at the keys for a couple of hours. Soon enough it’s lunchtime. She makes a sandwich. She checks her phone. Then she’s back to work. She’s pounding at the computer some more. Then work is over.
She gets back into her car. It’s stop and go, stop and go, stop and go, back through traffic, back to her house. She gets out of her car. She goes inside of her house. Her friends call her up. They ask if she wants to see a movie or something and she says, “No. I got a lot of work to do.” So she does a little bit more work, then she watches a couple of hours of television, maybe some of her favorite programs, or she’s flipping through the channels or whatever it is.
She does a couple of hours of that until that gets boring. Then maybe she grabs some microwavable dinner, pops that into the microwave, eats that. She takes another shower. She gets ready for bed. Maybe she watches a little more TV. Maybe she checks apps or her social apps or whatever, checks up what her friends are doing. Then she goes to sleep.
Then she wakes up the next morning and she repeats the entire process all over again. Then the next day, she repeats that process again, and the next day, she repeats that again, and again, and she just kind of repeats the same sequence of things that she does for weeks, for months on end. I know that sounds incredibly boring, doesn’t it?
Why It’s Mundane
But what is making that sound so tedious and mundane and ordinary and boring? It’s because there’s no new stimulation there. There’s no new stimuli going on that separates one day from another day. It’s full of just ordinary tests, ordinary mundane things that she does, ordinary people. There’s no new adventure to it. She’s not learning anything new. She’s not challenging herself.
She’s not growing as a person, and the man that she meets, the man at work, or the man that she might meet on in Tinder or whatever dating app it is are just very ordinary guys. They’re ordinary people. They’re not challenging her. They’re not that interesting. They’re nice guys. They’re just very ordinary nice guys, but they’re not stimulating. They’re not exotic, so there’s nothing new going on.
Where is the excitement in an ordinary life filled with ordinary people? Well the answer is that there is none.
What The Bad Boy Has
Then the bad boy comes along and there’s something just different about him. It could be really subtle. It could be the way he dresses stylishly with a little bit edge to him. Maybe it has a bit of an accent. Maybe he’s more expressive in the way he speaks, in the way he presents himself. Maybe he has a fire in his eye that ordinary guys are just lacking. Maybe he’s a wild card.
She can’t place a finger on him. Maybe he’s this merciless hedonist or maybe he is a user and an abuser. Maybe he is the scoundrel with a heart of gold and it’s this unpredictability that she can’t read him, that she can’t tell what this is all about that makes him intriguing and interesting.
Maybe she can be around him and more be herself. She doesn’t feel like she has to walk on eggshells because with ordinary guys, they can get angry or jealous if she says the wrong thing. Or if she flirts with an ordinary guy, maybe he could take it too seriously and want to pursue a relationship right away and start texting her and start calling her, and getting weird and obsessed about it.
Where this bad boy, he is just more laid back and can let her be free. She doesn’t feel like she’s’ being judged as much. She feels like she could show her flirtatious or naughty side. She doesn’t feel like he is going to obsessively chase her down. She feels like she has to do the chasing on him.
In addition, this bad boy might have certain qualities like being masculine, fearless, uncontrollable, does what he wants, leads the girl, gets the girl thinking, “I want to tame this guy!” He doesn’t give a fuck what other people think about him. He’s not afraid to express his desires and urges. He isn’t filtering everything he says before he speaks it. He’s a little bit uncontrollable, bucks societal norms. All these qualities can give this guy an edge that makes him exciting and daring and interesting and fascinating.
Whereas the other guys are just ordinary guys. They’re nice. They’re incredibly friendly, but they’re very boring. They’re not breaking up what she’s feeling on a day-to-day basis. It’s just the same thing. They’re not making her feel these highs, theses emotional highs or these emotional lows. It’s always the same emotional tepid stupor that they make the girl feel and it’s just boring. It’s not interesting. They don’t make the girl feel like a sexual being, make the girl feel that sexual polarity between man and woman. It’s purely platonic, purely friendly, and she doesn’t go for them, even though they could make great family men and be great providers.
Does that mean you have to become an absolute jerk to create attraction with girls? Absolutely not! It’s not about becoming a total jerk a lot or a bad person, and bad boy is really just a phrase. You can keep your core nice self that wants to cherish women, that loves women, that wants to be a good guy. But you want to incorporate more masculine qualities into yourself like being a leader, not caring not so much about what other people think, not filtering everything you say before you speak it to a girl, not being afraid to take up a woman’s time and space and being able to talk to a girl in a normal, chilled relaxed manner without getting weird about it, creating more of a style edge to you in the way you dress, being more assertive.
Any of those qualities can turn you into a bad boy and you only need maybe to adopt some of them. You don’t need to become this ultimate bad boy archetype to get laid. Girls usually want a little bit of a combination. They want a nice guy that has a little bit of an edge to him.
It usually doesn’t take that much to get that bad boy status in a girl’s mind.