Stuck In The ‘Uncanny Valley’ Of Attraction With Girls?

Jesse

I’m going to talk about the uncanny valley of pickup.

Now what do I mean by that?

Now this is actually a very important concept if you want to get an incredible girlfriend, develop an abundant sex life. It’s important to be aware of this concept just to know what it’s about.

The uncanny valley originally refers to a hypothesis in aesthetics that as something becomes increasingly humanoid and lifelike looking and moving in a lifelike fashion but not quite 100 percent real, that it causes a feeling of revulsion in people, a feeling of discomfort in people.

So it’s not 100 percent real looking, but it’s not fake enough to look fake either. It’s kind of like in the sweet spot of almost real but not 100 percent real and that creates this feeling of creeping people out.

The term valley refers to that dip and comfort that people feel.

For example, on the lower end of the spectrum where things do not look real, take C3P0 and R2D2, they’re very cute. You feel a lot of comfort around them because C3P0 has this humanoid shape but he doesn’t look so close to being human.

On the other end of the spectrum might be this amazing woman that walks by, a real human, flesh and blood woman, and your heart starts beating and you feel attraction.

You might feel nervous to go talk to her but you feel this comfort level. You want to meet her. You want to be around her, but then right in the middle is this dip in your comfort where it looks pretty human, but it’s not quite human.

Uncanny Valley Beings

It could be for example a lifelike-looking sex doll with the latex skin and it just looks like kind of creepy a little bit or maybe a zombie. It’s walking around, a television zombie walking around.

It’s pretty human but it’s not just quite moving like a human exactly or maybe one of these Japanese androids with the fake skin and it’s talking to you, and the eyes are blinking but it just looks stiff and weird. It can be creepy. It can also be some very good computer animation of a human being but you can just kind of tell it’s not quite real.

An Evolutionary Response

There’s probably an evolutionary reason for this dip in comfort that you feel.

If you see C3P0, you’re not going to have sex with C3P0. You’re not going to waste your time falling in love with a female version of a C3P0.

If you see a real human life and blood girl, if you did have sex with her or just developed a relationship with her, you could have children with her.

But if you saw a corpse like a human corpse or an animated corpse, you could fear it’s real enough that you could have sex with it but it probably doesn’t have the fertility level that you could have children with it.

It’s just probably an evolutionary response not to have sex with entities that are real enough that you could theoretically have sex with them or develop an attachment but would probably have very low fertility rates, so it’s a way to protect you so that you only mate with human beings that you could have actual children with.

Picking Up Girls

This uncanny valley phenomenon also happens in pickup when somebody is completely new to the game or they don’t know anything about pickup.

A hot girl could feel complete comfort around this guy because to her, she doesn’t have a dick.

He’s such a nice guy, so platonic that she doesn’t see him as a sexual threat.

She might even feel sorry for him like, “Oh, poor George! He’s such a nice guy! I just wish I could find him a girl,” but of course she feels no sexual attraction for him.

He’s almost like the equivalent of C3P0, a dick-less android that she does feel comfortable around or another example would be her male gay friend. Her male gay friend who’s flamboyantly gay makes her feel comfortable, makes her laugh, but she doesn’t feel any sexual attraction for him. That would be the equivalent of an R2D2 or a C3P0.

Now on the other end of the spectrum, you’ve got that guy that she’s crushing on, and he’s got a lot of love for these great characteristics.

Maybe he works out. He takes care of his body. He’s hygienic. He brushes his teeth. He dresses well. He dresses sharply. But also he’s a leader of men. He leads her. He jokes around. He’s positive. He doesn’t really care about what other people think of him. He doesn’t let her opinion of him affect his state. He remains calm, and cool, and relaxed and chill and unreactive around her. He teases her. He goofs on her a little bit.

She gets butterflies in her stomach as she crushes on him. She wants to spend more time with him.

She might feel nervous and excited around him, but fundamentally, there’s a comfort there. She wants to spend more time getting to know this guy.

Intermediate Guys

But now we’ve got the intermediate guy. He has just started out learning pickup and probably most likely he’s learned some techniques and tactics off the Internet.

He wants to go talk to this amazing beautiful woman, but he doesn’t feel entitled to her.

He’s lacking in confidence and self-worth. But he almost feels like the game that he’s learned, these tactics and techniques are entitled to the girl.

So he’s using these tactics and techniques separate from himself to kind of almost trick this girl into liking him.

The problem is, that it comes across as a little bit incongruent, a little bit off, a little bit weird, almost like a cool guy but is really a nerd trying to be a cool guy like he might go in with an incredible powerful compliment to the girl that he read off the Internet, and yet he doesn’t really feel entitled to have this girl so his eye contact is bad.

His body language is bad. His vocal tonality is not quite there, so there is just something kind off about his delivery. It’s a powerful compliment but the true self of this guy is still shining through, and it’s that uncanny valley where it sort of looks real but it’s not really 100 percent real like he’s acting like this alpha bad-ass. But he’s really shitting in his pants on the inside or he’s almost like pretending to be this super positive guy, but really what he feels inside is that he doesn’t want to be there.

He wants to go home to his comfort cave, and chill and relax. So there’s just something a little bit off about this guy.

Are you in the uncanny valley of game?

How do you know that you’re in the uncanny valley of game?

Well it’s basically when you are faking the behaviors of being a cool guy as opposed to actually just being a cool guy.

Now there’s a couple of caveats here.

First of all, you don’t want to be too hard on yourself. Remember everyone is going to go through the stage. It’s more important to give yourself credit for taking action.

You might have to fake being cool for a while to develop that skill set of actually becoming a cool guy, growing into being a cool guy that can go up to a girl, and be completely relaxed in yourself in front of her.

You want to instead just pat yourself on the back anytime you take action because 99 percent of men are not going to take action.

Secondly, you don’t want to get paranoid because not every girl is going to like you regardless, no matter how good you get at pickup, no matter how good you get good at game, there’s going to be girls that are not just into you.

It’s not always because of this uncanny valley of fact that if a girl is not just interested in talking to you, you don’t want to get paranoid, “Oh, my gosh! Is this the uncanny valley effect?”

This going to happen to everybody and you can still get laid regardless even if you are a little bit incongruent, even if you are kind of pretending to be a cool guy, and you’re really shitting in your pants, you can still get laid often just by taking action.

Usually girls don’t even care. There’s going to be still plenty of girls that you’re going to have sexual chemistry with, so you don’t want to sweat it too much.

But if you do find yourself getting tepid responses from women consistently like you kind of get friendly responses, but it’s not generating that hard sexual attraction, you want to ask yourself am I putting forward game as a way to get the girl where I don’t really feel entitled to these women, but I feel like the game that I’m putting forth is entitled?

Am I feeling incongruent with what I’m putting out there?

Am I going up, giving girls compliments but not body language is all screwed up because I’m dead nervous. I’m pissing in my pants, so you got to question yourself.

You got to look at that and examine that. If that goes on for a while and you hit this plateau and you’re not breaking out of that, you might want to see, “Okay, am I making a true inner transformation of myself? Am I using game as kind of like this superficial outer layer, which I put forth rather than expressing myself?

Am I thinking that the girl is going to like me for me or am I thinking that the girl is going to like my game that I’m putting out there?

So it’s just something to question. If you find yourself in this uncomfortable position of being in the uncanny valley for months and months at a time and you’re wondering why you’re not breaking out of that, why you’ve hit this plateau, just something to look at, something to consider.

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