I want to teach you how to crush it with girls particular in terms of your positivity, your personality, just being that cool, fun guy, nice vibe, smooth dude that girls love to be around, that girls are naturally attracted to apart from any techniques or tricks. Techniques or tricks are incredible. They’re great to use, but you also want to be this naturally fun, vibe awesome guys that girls are just naturally attracted to.
How are we going to do that?
Well, it’s a little bit of an art, not exactly a science. We’re going to deal with the mentality of it, your underlying beliefs. I’m going to go into a few concepts and it will eventually wrap back around the girls, so bear with me.
Positivity: Phone Example
So every month, I get a phone bill about $70 and this phone bill includes unlimited calling on my phone, unlimited texting, and some mobile Internet access. I can look at it three ways.
I could first of all just shrug my shoulder, like whatever.
Secondly, I could look at it as, “Damn phone bill! Damn phone bill company. I don’t want to pay these bills! Do you know how much I have to work to come up with that $70?” Or, “I just don’t like this! I don’t want to pay this! I hate that when the bill comes in. I have this negative anchor attached to it.”
Another way to look at your phone bill, you know, “Hundreds of millions of dollars have been spent to send satellites up in orbit on very expensive rockets, so you have hundreds of geosynchronous satellites orbiting the Earth, the best minds of science, the best minds of humanity have done this, spent all this money, created this incredible infrastructure, very complicated so that I could stay in touch with friends, I could stay in touch with family. I could stay in touch with girls.”
“On top of that, I’ve got this basically mini little super computer in my pocket for a couple of hundred dollars that 10 or 20 years ago would have cost $1,000 and would weigh 20 pounds and be sitting on my desk. I can look up videos of how to make money, of how to create the lifestyle I want, how to serve a little Internet business and go to Thailand and chill out, or how to get the kind of girl I want, or create the kind of relationships I want. I have the entire knowledge of humanity, all the books written by the best people on the planet right here accessible.”
“Will I pay $70 for this privilege? Of course, I will! I will pay double that. I will triple that. I will pay $500 a month.” At least I’m going to have the gratitude, the appreciation for what that $70 is buying me, right?
Positivity: Gym Example
Or take the gym. One way I can look at the gym is, “I got to drive there. It’s a pain in the ass. There’s not enough hot girls there, so I’m not really feeling motivated.” Or, “It’s too busy. I wish there were less people there, or these gym owners, they’re kind of scumbags because they sign up 100 people, knowing that 97 percent of those people will never show up. They’re just going to get billed monthly, so they overbook the gym like during the busy times like after work, the gym is really busy and it’s a pain in the butt, or they don’t have the right machine, the machine that I want to use.” You could look at the gym that way.
Another way you could look at the gym is, “You know these guys, the owners who spent millions of dollars or they’re taking enormous financial risk to create this gym, I don’t have to like buy a separate house and fill it up with $100,000 of gym equipment. I got it all right here at my fingertips, a lot of these equipment didn’t exist 20 or 30 years ago. I could build a Greek-god body if I so choose to do so, if I decide to put in the time and effort to learn how to do that. I have a great opportunity at my fingertips and I’m grateful for that.”
“For just $10, or $20, or $30, or $40 a month, I have that opportunity. That’s incredible opportunity for such a small price when you think about it compared to before when people didn’t even have gyms. They were just struggling to put food on the table.”
Are you going to be complaining about the gym or are you going to be having appreciation and gratitude for it?
Positivity: Beautiful Girl Example
Another example is you see a beautiful girl walk on by, and you think to yourself, “Yeah, I really got to meet that girl.” At the same time, you kind of don’t want to meet her because you’re not actually sure what you’ll actually say to her. You’re kind of conflicted. Your heart is beating hard. Your palm is getting sweaty. You could feel the sweat in your armpits, and you could feel your voice quavering. But you decide to go up to her anyway, right?
You say hello, you start talking to her, but you’re not making eye contact really. Your voice isn’t really there. It sounds all nervous, very friendly chitchat. There is no man-woman connection. It doesn’t have that sexual spark going on. You’re kind of barely holding in there, right?
The girl, eventually after a couple of minutes is like, “Well, Bob, it was nice to meet you. Goodbye!” And she bounces off, right?
How are you going to handle that? Are you going to think to yourself, “Fuck! Damn! I didn’t get what I want out of that interaction. I wasn’t my best self. I didn’t do the technique I was thinking of, that I was planning to do. I suck! I didn’t get laid. I didn’t get a girlfriend. What’s wrong with me?”
Or you could be blaming the girl, right? “She did that because she gets all this attention from Facebook and Instagram and she gets all this validation. It’s not like it was 30 years ago. Girls are so spoiled nowadays.” Or, “It’s feminism. Feminism has corrupted this girl just like all the women out there. They’re all corrupted. Twenty, 30 years ago, they would have recognized the good guy that came up to them, but nowadays, the girls just don’t recognize what a good guy I am.” You’re going to be blaming the girl.
Gratitude to The Girl
Or you’re going to have appreciation and gratitude, first of all just for a higher power or the universe putting that girl there in the first place. Or you’re going to have appreciation and gratitude that you have the legs to walk to that place where you met her because not every person has the health to physically be in that spot.
Are you going to have the gratitude and appreciation that you took action? Are you going to pat yourself on the back? Are you going to give yourself a hard time?
Or are you going to be like, “Yes! I did that. Who would have gone up to that girl?” I could have picked 100 different people, random dudes, and I bet 100 of them would not have gone up to that girl and taken action like that. Are you going to pat yourself on the back?
Are you going to have appreciation that the girl didn’t give you her number and didn’t just sleep with you just like that? That she is a little bit picky because if the girl said yes to every guy that came up to her – sorry about the airplane here – the girl said yes to every guy that came up to her, every hot girl out there would have sex with like 1,000 different guys. you don’t necessarily want that.
Are you going to have appreciation that she walked away from your very weak sauce approach where you didn’t make eye contact, you didn’t hold your voice very well, you didn’t create a man-woman connection? It was so boring, friendly, and chit-chatty? Are you going to have appreciation for that that she’s teaching you a lesson that you need to step up and you need to improve your game, that you can draw lessons from that interaction and that she didn’t just sleep with you, that she has a choice to say not to you, and demand a higher standard and forced you to demand a higher standard of yourself? Can you have the gratitude and appreciation for that?
Bitterness and Stagnation
Because I can tell you that the people on the lowest strata, that the people on the lowest part of the totem pole are the people that complain a lot and they think of themselves as victims. When you think of yourself as a victim, you don’t have appreciation, you don’t have gratitude for the little things, you’re not going to get very far in life. You’re going to stagnate. But more than that, you’re going to end up stress in your life. You’re going to have mental stress. You’re going to have physical stress. You’re going to have spiritual stress because you’re constantly stressing yourself out with negativity.
Just look at people that are 10 or 20 years older than yourself and look at them and say to yourself, “Is that the kind of person I want to be like when I’m 10 or 20 years older?” Look at how much complaining they do. Look at the broken dreams and the lost potential of people not stepping up to their best selves and how they soothe themselves with junk food and watching passive entertainment because they didn’t live up to their dreams. They didn’t achieve their dreams because they were too negative and they were too complaining and they didn’t take action.
The Trump Pit
As another example, look at a lot of white older males in our society. It used to be 20, or 30, or 40 ya1, you could just get out of high school with reading and writing and arithmetic and get a factory job, paying good money of $20, $30, or $40 an hour and have that 2-week vacation, send your kids to school. Frankly, you have a lbo1 white privilege, a little advantage there, but what happened? The economy changed.
First of all, new technologies allowed companies to Skype, so to speak, Facetime, communicate on the other side of the globe instantaneously very easily and very cheaply, and now you could manage your company from across the world, so a lot of these factory jobs went overseas to places like China or Indonesia, right, where workers could do it for half the price, or a third the price. Then even that immigration labor, immigrant labor is replaced by machines, by robots, by artificial intelligence, which were particularly seen taking off in the last 5 or 10 years.
Pretty soon drivers are going to be replaced by driver-less cars. Three million jobs, blue collar jobs gone like that. Those jobs are never coming back, but these white older people that experienced a different kind of economy, different kind of lifestyle are now pissed off. They’re victims. They’re acting like victims and it has large political implications because someone like Trump can just come along and say, “I’m going to bring all these old blue-collar jobs. I’m going to bring back the factories,” which is a complete fantasy, of course. These jobs aren’t coming back when they could be done by machines.
When a factory that used to be run by 10,000 workers, run by 10,000 workers, now it could be done by 1,000 white-collar workers and 10,000 machines. These jobs are gone, but because people are in this victim mentality, it’s like, “Trump! Trump! Trump!” And the political implications is you got a guy who’s a loudmouth narcissist, a windbag who openly admits to sexually assaulting women, is probably highly unqualified for the job running the highest office in the land.
The Taking Action View
Another way that an older white person could look at the world is, “Okay, yeah those jobs are gone, but now compared to 20, 30 years ago, there’s double the amount of money flowing around. Total world wealth has doubled. There is just a stream of cash circling the Earth. I could just start a little Internet business and just grab a little bit of that stream, just 0.00000001 percent, just grab a tiny little bit for myself and live on a beach in Thailand on my laptop, right?
Or I could go back to school, retrain myself, get a white-collar job, make two times or three times more money than I did before, and I realized it’s not exactly that simple but that kind of mindset, that kind of positive mindset ‑ not blaming immigrants, not blaming yourself, not looking for the savior in Trump or the government coming to save you is what’s going to get you ahead in life versus just stagnating and collecting that welfare check and being this old complaining dude, complaining wistfully for time that’s never coming back, right?
You want to see these older people, people that are 10 or 20 years older than yourself who are complaining and being victims and soothing themselves with television and greasy food and getting fat, if they are influencing you. You know see if that complaining, that negativity has influenced you at all and if you can change your mindset to have gratitude for like the little things like for your phone bill, gratitude for the gym, gratitude for that hot girl that walks by, gratitude that you took that little bit of action whereas maybe she said, “Oh, it was nice meeting you. Goodbye!” You have gratitude that you took action when a hundred and hundred other men wouldn’t have. Gratitude to the girl for saying no to you that forced you to step up and improve yourself and get better and hold yourself to a higher standard.
If you have gratitude, if you have that positive outlook on life, that’s what’s going to be very attractive to women because girls want a guy that is positive and a guy that is adaptable, that can adapt to different situations, a guy that is nonjudgmental, a guy that is not complaining about others or blaming others, or finding scapegoats in others for his own problems but takes control of his own problems and takes action and remains positive about it.
That’s a rare trait. You will stand out if you can embody that trait. Girls will notice it right away and that goes beyond – this is not like a technique or trick, right? This is something that you want to embody and that’s more important than any technique or trick. Techniques or tricks are like the icing on the cake, little things you can add in, little spice you can put on the steak, but this is the steak. This is what girls find attractive.
You want to make that mindset shift from victim, being negative, blaming others, scapegoating others to having that positive outlook on like and taking action.