I want to make the connection between developing that Greek god physique, lifting that heavyweights, going to the gym, developing the pecs, the abs, the arms, and attracting pretty girls, getting that 9 or 10 girlfriend that you’ve always been after or getting a little rotation, a little harem going, or just being able to attract girls in general.
How strong is the connection?
Well, there actually is a connection but probably not for the reason that you are thinking. You’re probably thinking pretty girl sees this attractive, buff lean dude that looks like he’s got his nutrition down, he takes care of himself and takes care of his temple and her pussy just gets wet. That’s the guy that she wants to go home with.
Well, that’s not really the case. I’m sure on any given night, you’ve seen that fit, strong man just kind of keeping by himself, staying in his own little group. Maybe he’s reacting to the environment. He’s not leading. He’s no socializing. He’s not putting himself out there. He’s not putting his personality on the line. He’s not smiling. He’s not being expressive. He’s not being positive. He’s relying on his body as a crutch. He’s playing a very passive game where it’s just like, “Look at me, girls! I’m here. I showed up, so now you have to make the moves.”
The problem is that if you’re relying on your physique as a crutch, it’s passive game and the girl will always be higher value than you in any kind of environment. If a girl teases out her hair, she puts on high heels, she has that little miniskirt. She has got that sexy little dress on. She works out herself. She is looking like dressed to the nines, she’s always going to have more value than you in that situation, so you can never compete on that level.
Those kinds of girls because they get so much attention automatically, they get so much validation just for existing just because of their looks, they don’t have any incentive to take any action. They don’t have any incentive to go and approach you.
Those buff guys that are passive gaming maybe they can get the occasional 5 or 6 girls with the looks but they never get the 9’s and the 10’s.
Now does that mean that you should not work out? Does that mean you should purely on pickup techniques and pickup theory?
Yes, DO go to the gym
Absolutely not! You should absolutely go to the gym. You should absolutely that Greek god physique. One reason is simply because the combination of developing your physique and doing game is such a powerful one, it’s very rare that guys will take the time to do both. It’s very rare that guys will take the time to eat right, maybe do intermittent fasting, keep a log of what they’re lifting so they can see continual progress. They can grow their muscles in a continual way. That’s rare in and of itself.
But combining that with having a positive attitude, smiling, cold approaching, going up to the girls, merging groups, not reacting to the environment, getting girls to follow your lead, giving them this fun energy just being a cool guy, that’s very rare, so you combine these two and you get a very, very special combination that girls are just not used to seeing. It can be very attractive.
But the bigger reason why I think the guys who work out tend to do well with women is simply because the gym teaches you very important lessons in terms of persistence and consistency in pushing through negative emotions, pushing through pain, pushing through discomfort.
Because what does the average guy do? He goes up. He talks to a few girls. He’s got a bunch of things wrong like he’s not throwing up a positive vibe. He’s really worried about getting approval. He’s not smiling. He’s not making proper eye contact. It’s a hard slug at first because he’s doing so many things wrong. The girls are just punishing him for not being that cool guy. They are rejecting him, so to speak.
His state crashes. He feels terrible. He just wants to give up because I want to feel comfort right now. I want to achieve my goals right now. I want to get laid. This is not working. Guys typically rotate out of doing pickup theory after a couple of months.
The Video game Analogy
Let’s take a look at video games, for example.
A video game developer, he doesn’t want to make his game too difficult because if it’s too difficult, guys get frustrated and they just give up and the game will get bad reviews. If the game is too easy, that means the game is boring and people don’t want to buy the game either.
A game developer will try to put his game exactly in that sweet spot where it’s challenging enough to be interesting, to keep you engaged, to keep you hooked where it throws up little interesting challenges but you can keep moving forward and you don’t get bored.
But real life is not like that.
If you go to the gym, you can make some quick gains if you’ve never gone to the gym before but after the first couple of months, it’s a long hard slug where you have to make proper technique and you’re adding 1 percent there, 1 percent there in gains, and 1 percent there in gains over many, many weeks. It can take a good year to develop a hot attractive body and that’s if you’re doing things right. That is if you have your nutrition down, your proper technique, and so on and so forth.
If you want to start a business, it’s even harder. You can face setback after setback for years. You could have many failed businesses. You could rack up $100,000 in credit card debt. You can be banging your head against the wall for months with no progress. It could be very frustrating.
Same with girls.
It can be a very frustrating experience where it just doesn’t seem like you’re progressing because you’re doing so many things wrong. It’s not like a cool video game. A lot of guys get frustrated when they come to these things and they want to fall back into escapism. They want to fall back into playing games or doing a hobby where they can experience that nice sweet spot of progress.
But anything that’s really worth accomplishing in life is not going to be like that. Going to the gym can teach you valuable lessons of coming up against that resistance, coming up against that discomfort coming up against that emotional pain and ploughing through.
Working out = More Girls
One thing I really noticed is that guys who do well with women tend to have a sport that they also excel with. Guys that tend to do well with women tend to lift weights to some degree and have pride in their body.
I’ve noticed that guys who kind of dabble around or do keyboard jocking, a lot of typing, watching videos but no action also have a problem with their physique, also can’t hang in there when it comes to the physical aspect of themselves because both of these, the gym and meeting girls, both rely on an underlying premise of being able to stick in with something, being persistent, being consistent, feel that pain, and plough through the pain, feel that pain and draw lessons from it.
If you have trouble being motivated meeting girls, sticking in there, ploughing through that pain, if you have trouble doing that, you might want to take up lifting weights, do intermittent fasting, get your nutrition under control, eat clean healthy food that will nourish you and keep you energized.
Keep a logbook of your weights so that you can see steady progress made over time because a lot of success in real life comes from small quiet steps, small quiet steps over weeks over months of pushing through the pain.
That’s why most people can’t achieve that, but if you can achieve that, you will really stand out and if you practice with the gym, you’re going to learn life lessons that will translate when it comes to meeting women.
How to use the gym
Definitely hit the gym not to impress girls, not to be doing it as a crutch, of passive game where the girl looks at you and you expect her pussy to get wet and make all the moves on you because that is not going to happen. But instead, to teach you of life lessons of pushing through pain, pushing through discomfort, and achieving your goals.
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Another point I want to make is that guys underestimate how exhausting this process can be when they first start out in terms of meeting women because if you’ve never done this before and you go out to approach girls for the first time, socialize, interact, you will tire yourself out very quickly because inside your head, you’re thinking about what you should say next, you’re worried about getting the girl’s approval. You’re always trying to think one step ahead. You’re trying to get good reactions.
All this unnecessary stuff is going through your head. Your intent is scattered. You are attracted to the girl but you also want her to like you and you just tire yourself out. It can be very physically demanding and very mentally and emotionally demanding.
Eventually you want to get through that part that’s why you learn from other coaches, you learn from teachers who went before you so you can kind of skip ahead quickly but you do have to go through that stage where you will feel very tired and very exhausted probably because you’re not used to it. Anything new is going to tire you out.
Now if you’re young, if you’re 18, 19, 20, 21 years old, it’s not so bad. You can just kind of push through the pain, you can push through the discomfort, but if you are hitting your mid 20s, your 30s, your 40s, every muscle in your body, your entire brain will be screaming for you to stop and to give up.
So if you’re not eating right, if you are just eating Cheetos and junk food and soda and pizza, that’s going to wear your body down, that’s going to make you tired very quickly. You will not have the stamina to push through.
You are hardly going to have the stamina to go up flights of stairs, so how are you going to deal with the mental and physical exhaustion of meeting girls to push through that pain. You’re not going to be able to do it.
It’s like if you went to the gym and I just gave you 200 pounds to bench press on your first day at the gym, you’re not going to be able to do it. Lifting weights, doing cardio, doing intermittent fasting, watching what you eat is really, really important so you are feeding your body nutritious fuel, so that you have the fuel, you will have the stamina to persevere.
It’s going to be just as painful, it’s going to be just as uncomfortable, but at least you will be able to persevere physically and mentally. You won’t just give up after 3 minutes.
I mean most people will literally give up after 3 or 4 or 5 minutes of discomfort partly because it’s tough and partly because their body is just not physically of doing it. It’s like asking them to do a 3-mile run or a 5-mile run when they haven’t run their entire lives and they are 40 pounds overweight. This is not going to happen.
Going to the gym is absolutely critical to building up your body. Eating right is absolutely critical to being able develop that stamina, to persevere, to have persistence, to have consistency, to have the motivation to enjoy the process and to push through that initial stage where everything is particularly hard.