So, I want you to imagine for a moment a beautiful woman. She’s a perfect 9 or even a 10. She has this long beautiful flowing hair. She’s got the piercing beautiful eyes. She’s got a natural smile. She’s got the nice curves in a beautiful dress. When this woman walks into a room, the room lights up. All eyes are on her. She is the real deal. She is the 9. She is the 10.
Now imagine she’s talking to a regular dude. She’s really thinking to herself as she’s talking to him, “I’m not just that attracted to this guy. When will a really hot guy approach me?” Is she really looking around the room? “Where is the hot guy? Where is the hot guy?” She might be looking around for friends to get out of the conversation, but why she is not thinking, “Where are the hot men that are going to approach me?”
The reason she’s not thinking that is because she knows that the value is with her. She knows that she is the 10. After all, people have been telling her that her whole life. Looking at her, maybe daddy bought her a boob job, the hair extensions, the gym membership. Anyway, she just has a lot of evidence that she is a 10. She firmly believes that, so she’s not looking around value scanning for hot guys to approach her.
Now maybe you have the symptoms where you are turning your head like that, value scanning if you are in a bar, or hunting for the girl, you’re out during the day in a mall.
There’s nothing on your mind except, “That girl is not hot enough for me. I want to go after that girl. Why aren’t there more hot girls around?” Or maybe you find yourself talking to a girl, just a cute girl. Maybe she’s a 7. You would rate her as that, and as you’re talking to her, you’re thinking to yourself, “She’s not really the 10 I want. This girl is not hot enough for me. I’m not connecting with her as much as I think I should be. She doesn’t have the right hair color for me. She’s a little bit too short. She’s a little bit too tall. She has too much boobs. She doesn’t have enough boobs.” Whatever the reason.
Consider that maybe if this is the case, if you have this kind of symptoms that you are thinking of the girl that you want as being up here above you and you’re down here. The girl that you’re chasing after has higher value than yourself, and that by having this girl on your arm that you’re going to get value.
You’re not considering yourself, “Hey! I’m the 10.” You’re not thinking of yourself as, “The value as s being with me. I am unhappy with myself. I need a girl to fulfill that void within me.”
If you find yourself in a conversation with a girl you would rate as a 6 or a 7, why not just slow down? Why not just enjoy that conversation? Why not just to know that woman as a human being? After all, who is the boss? You’re the boss! Who has the value? You have the value! Who is complete in himself? You are complete in yourself.
It doesn’t really matter if you have that 9 or 10 on your arm at this moment. You’re still happy with yourself. You can still get through your own day, feeling like the 10 because you are the 10. That’s the kind of mindset you want to have.
Now of course when you see that 9 or 10 girl, you go up, talk to her. Approach her, but you can be cool approaching and talking to the 6, to the 7, to the 5, to the 4. After all, it doesn’t hurt you. You get a little bit of practice conversation skills. You can practice a couple of techniques like qualifying a girl, work on your eye contact, work on your smile, work on your posture, whatever it is. It is an opportunity to get better. You can also build social momentum.
You can use talking to people in general as a way to get that momentum going, to reach a comfort zone in talking to people, to reach that level of indifference that often only comes after you’ve talked to a couple of people.
There is no downside to talking to people, girls that are not the 9 or the 10. You don’t have to do that sniper approach where you’re just waiting around for the 9 or 10 to show up and you do that as your one approach because then you’re probably going to be so stuck up inside your head and so inside your head that when you do see that 9 or 10, because you’re placing all the value in that person and that’s your one opportunity, you’re going to hesitate, you’re going to get scared, and you’re not going to approach at all.
Just approach everybody. Talk to all the girls and enjoy that process and be comfortable with, “I’m the 10. I’m not value scanning everywhere, looking for the girl. I’m just enjoying myself in the present moment, talking to whoever I am talking to, and when that 9 or 10 comes along, I’ll have the social momentum. I’ll be outside my head. I’ll be feeling this good feeling. It will be a snap. It will be a breeze to go up and talk.”
That’s the kind of mindset you want to have where you’re the 10 and you meet a pretty girl, it’s a nice little bonus but you don’t need that because you’re happy with yourself, you’re complete in yourself.