Discussion in 'Girlfriend Relationships' started by DeJe, Aug 8, 2011.
It was slightly torturous reading this, in a sense that I think we can all relate to your situation on some level. I felt like it was part Michael Jackson, part LJBF... Laying on the bed with a youngster, calously eyeing the invisible line that separates friends from lovers. Desperate to break social norms....
Ok, I'll stop
But seriously, I know nothing about this, as I am half your age. I can say however, that you are probably better off NOT doing anything with her or taking her on a trip to Vegas. This sounds like a severe conflict of interest with your daughter.....leaving her out....thinking about her hot friend....
I do not know anything about your family relationship, but that is what I gathered from your post.
If she is cool with you being on her, playing, etc, that sounds like fun. But, you are probably better off checking out Jesse's Older Gentlemen product and just finding different young girls. Then, if she sees you having fun with more hot girls, she may want in on that action, so its WIN-WIN.
Now I'm wondering what he said.
It must have been good!
Thanks, Earl, for your ability to communicate with him effectively.
Already deleted, must have been a good answer !
Earl's good at that!
It was something along the lines of "single dad: my daughter's college friend is hot, I have teased her but fear I am in the Daddy/Friend Zone. I want to take her on a trip with me...."
Basically testing waters if he can score on the girl.
Jesse, gotta love the free advertising...the best kind there is!
Yes, I got it. Basically what Earl said. However, about the trip... My daughter and her boyfriend will be coming along. Yes, they are all in college and the "College Girl" hangs around my house alot and goes on trips with me alone. She does have a BF (but he doesn't come on the trips). I think that I'm in the "Daddy/LJBF Zone" with her. However, she does allow me to play around with her (tickle her, hugs, massage shoulders/head, and hold hand). While on a trip we had slept in the same bed (her on her side and me on my side), and have stayed in seperate beds in the same room on other trips. Nothing intimate has ever happened. She is open with me and talks about her past sexual relationships and she listens to my advice alot. I don't believe that she knows how I feel about her, but sometimes I think she tries to play dumb to the fact.
maybe you should escalate it a bit more... a little bit more touching or if you go on trips togther just walk around naked etc...
just try to create more attraction, because she is already compfortable with you and if you give her advice you could even teach her ...
IAM, I understand what you are saying. What do you mean by teaching her?
TequilaMan: I'am just going slow with this situation right now. Do you have any suggestions on how to proceed with this situation?
Oh, shit, Iam...you would have to bring-up the subject of him escalating his involvement with her.
It sounds like she is going along for the FREE ride with DeJe...trips to Vegas, hanging-out at his home, etc. At the same time, she is TEASING, DeJe.."Hey, look at my fine body and I have a GREAT pussy..he, he"..."spend more on me".
I just wonder what his daughter thinks about this. Does she know that you are taking her on trips?
Somehow, DeJe, you seem to be coming-off as a Sugar-Daddy to this woman...but, without the sugar.
I have, recently, come to the conclusion, that, women in our society are treated as a commodity..something to be bought and/or sold.
(DeJe, you seem to be falling into this type of role with her...NOT good!)
You can change things around where you DON'T treat her like a commodity, but, as a beautiful sexy woman who needs to experience some great sexual experiences. But, this requires a change in your beliefs about your role and her role in this relationship. (It can be done!)
Jesses' advice for you with this woman will help. I can provide some help. But, you mindset about your role has to change...it's NOT going to be easy. Your belief system has to change..
Here are some beliefs you need to accept:
1. I am older and more experienced..act like it!
2. I have more sexual experiences and know how to pleasure a woman...if you don't, you need to learn.
3. A womans' sexuality is sacred and NOT a commodity...greater levels of sexual pleasure will become available.
I was wondering, DeJe, if this will help: Truisms About Women
jup could be like that... but really we don't know it...
and even if it would be like that escalating would be better. Maybe he blows everything off than deje don't have to pay anymore for the trips or he gets what he wants... but if he still follow his old strategy he only pays and doesn't get what he wants...
the only question is DeJe: If you really want what you want?
Would be your daugther okay with that? How is your relationship? ETC?
and would it be maybe cheaper if you spend your money on
or proffesionals in the long run? Because ladies are everywhere, but a good realtionship to your own daugther is rare..
TequilaMan: Thanks for be blunt and honest. Yes, I think I am a Sugar Daddy, but not getting any sugar. My daughter lives with her BF, and is cool with me along as I spend more $$ on her - then my "College Tease." How do I break this habit? I want to have alittle fun. I know that I give too much and receive nothing in return. She can drop by my place anytime or eat out/in anytime. On a trip once, my daughter and her friends ended up pushing me and the "Tease" to another hotel room. There as so much sexual tension in that room, but me and the "Tease" went to (actually) another hotel and nothing. Maybe I'm missing something. My daughter know what kind of girl she is and did not have a problem with that. But again, I get nothing. I have been out of the dating seen for a few years, so I need help.
IAM: Me and my daughter are cool. We have a weird relationship. When she still lived in my house she made out and grinded on one of my friends right in front of me, at my house. She told me that the week before she watched me booty dancing on this 21 year old girl at a club that we were at and the girls parents (my friends) saw this and got a little upset. But that was their daughter doing that to me - I was basically just standing there. My daughter told me that I better not say anything about her making out, because I had said there was nothing wrong with what I had did the previous week (booty/grind dancing with the 21yr old)... We are wierd...
DeJe- it sounds like the women in your life are running your life.
Yeah, you are coming-off as the PROVIDER.
I sometimes think, "I am just an actor in a womans' movie".
You are leading a unique lifestyle with your daughter. She sounds like a cool person who is leading your life. :lol:
It may be time that you lead your own life and STOP pussy-footing with that Prick-Teaser.
Note: I am NOT sure if this is the best recommendation...any other feedback from the Peanut Gallery?
I can relate to you because you remind me of my sisters' ex-BF, for 15 years. They still are with one-another, but, it's more like a platonic relationship where they do things for one-another and make it appear to people to be still together. :thumbdown:
The women in his life, run his life, asking him to do this and that..buy me a car, fix my car, toilet, etc. In return, they treat him like shit, he's their PROVIDER, Daddy-Deep-Pockets. He is a workaholic (in other words, he has poor relationship skills). All he ever did for most of his life was, work, work, work.
I like him, but, I can see that he is very unhappy. My best guess is, his father was a workaholic and he taught him and our society taught him that it's his JOB to work his ass-off and give to the family. But, he NEVER developed good relationship skills. There's a lot of DRAMA in his life...he provides some or most of it.
AKM, Earl and myself were talking about Earls' inappropriate behavior when he is with people...he says things that repel people away. I suggested that Earl just realize what he is doing and STOP the behavior.
In your case, DeJe, we might take the same approach. But, I believe you are doing many things that don't help you enjoy your life. Changing your behavior and beliefs are difficult and many people are in DENIAL.
I DON'T have a high skill level on this subject. It's going to be up to YOU to decide that you want to change your life and lifestyle. In other words, you DON'T want to lead a mediocre/miserable life.
My belief is, SEX is about everything. To gain sexual confidence, your beliefs and knowledge needs to change. Then, your behavior will change.
It took me many years to change my beliefs and turn my life around for the better. There's NO quick-fix for this...it's a life-long desire to make your life more enjoyable.
TM: You are right about having a mediocre/miserable life. I had to sit back and think about it. I'm the established man, why am I chasing and just doing nice things when "she" has done nothing to deserve it. Would I like someone like me to do nice things for me if I had the chance --- Yes, of course. But you are right, I must stop being that nice guy/provider.
Well, back to the situation: She came over late Saturday night to hang out. We just talked a little. Not really much. I did not initiate and touch or any type of seduction. She came over Sunday afternoon and we watched a movie at the house. Again, I didn't try to get close to her or touch her. I thought about it, now I want her to start wondering what's going on with me. She is the one getting the "Free Ride" so I will gradually start chasing pursuing less and see where this goes. I know that she will still come by. One time, I did not agree with some of her "BS" and called her on it. She didn't want to talk and then said she will have to examine her self on the situation. We were both upset, but she still continued to come over and talk to me.
I have started to feel better around her - not so much pressure. Maybe she could be the stress and pressure in me and it made me look/act needy. Well, I will see how things go.
Yes, feeling better about myself already...
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