I just got a newsletter from Tallulah. She brought-up a subject about women believing in their capabilities to be more highly sexual. I have been making the mistake of telling women they can have up to 12 types of orgasms. Guess what...MOST of them DON'T believe me. (Most women think they can ONLY have 1-3 types..of course, the clitoral and maybe the G-Spot.) Here's part of the newsletter: From: tallulah@personallifemedia.com newsletter. Women were able to ejaculate (squirt) for the first time because: 1 – They discovered G-Spot stimulation and orgasm with and/or without their partner. 2 – They had the belief that female ejaculation was possible for them. 3 – They saw and learned what female ejaculation looked like and where it came from in a video, book, a live demonstration, in a workshop, etc. 4 – They learned to let go more deeply instead of being afraid they would pee accidentally (I have some GREAT tips for this!) 5 – They were in an extended lovemaking session with themselves or with a partner and were very turned on and more open. While there are many advanced techniques for achieving female ejaculation, you might be surprised to see that within those top 5 reasons, many of them were not about technique. They were about belief, empowerment, surrender, letting go, and learning.
Hello, I have been with some of the most beautiful men and couldn't get wet for anything! It does stem from confidence and such. Want to hear the weird thing? If I imagine being with a disgusting man, or a "slow" man. I can get wet. Obviously about not being intimidated or scared of rejection. I hate this about me, but this is where I stand currently. I am doing self hypnosis, therapy, DBT, asnd CBT to change it. One of the reasons I am on this site is to help get me to a point where I can have orgasms, just enjoy sex in general. So, good point. You are absolutely right. About the ejaculation, yep, I can do it. By myself!!!
JR said: "If I imagine being with a disgusting man, or a "slow" man. I can get wet". "I have been with some of the most beautiful men and couldn't get wet for anything"! So, you can fantasize about being with a man who is NOT attractive and get turned-on and wet. (It seems contrary to what most people would do. I would GUESS that it COULD be a thing that is TABOO. Being real slutty with some loser guy and taking advantage of him.) :lol: (What is the fantasy scenerio?) VERY good looking men DO NOT have to be good at pleasuring women. Most of them, are NOT good and just think of themselves. They are probably worse than most men in pleasuring women. DBT = ?? CBT = Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Self-Hypnosis- does this mean having self-induced orgasms? If you are seeing mainstream therapists for sexual help, I wouldn't rely on their beliefs or thinking process. My belief is, most of them will tell you things that are NOT realistic. (In other words, FUCKED-UP.) It's GREAT in that you want to learn how to enjoy sex at a greater level. (It's GREAT you can self-squirt.) :thumbup: There's A LOT of truth in what Tallulah said about women and their sexuality. A womans' sexuality is fairly complex. She recommends that women become more familiar with their sexuality by knowing the different areas that are responsive and self-pleasuring themselves. See my thread, "Types Of Orgasms a Woman Can Have I have posted many threads about sexuality. Sheri Winston and Patti Taylor have many good articles. TM
You know I am really tickled that the squirting thing is great! LOL Do you know how many years I went feeling embarrassed wondering why I was pissing on myself! Actually what I read on here previously that some urine could be mixed with the ... other stuff, can't remember. Anyway, the scenerio... There was a slow man about my age at a mental clinic I was at. He wasn't all there. Actually he wasn't bad looking, his hair was greasy. But in my fantasy, I would be at his loft apartment and I would be real nice to him. Talk and laugh. Then I would somehow get my white t-shirt wet so he ould see my nipples, just enough. Then I would sit on the floor with a short skirt on with my panties tucked part into my lips. Then I would seduce him. This is so embarrassing! I know I am a freak! But it does get my pussy wet. If I was smart I would find a secure sexual male who could play out these fantasies with me... I am trying to think what else.. therapy really isn't for sex, but I think it plays a big part in my way of thinking. I need to get comfortable with myself and not be ashamed, you know? But it is easier said than done. But I swear to God, If I get to a point where I can get wet on a normal basis and have orgams... I am going to fuck all the time.!!! YAY Keep your fingers crossed.
Just as I thought, you had a sex fantasy about seducing a man. I have gotta LOVE a womans' sexual imagination. Feeling shame about your sexuality is common among men and women. I read one article that said it goes back to our early childhood and our unrealistic beliefs. It's like what you said about when you realized you can squirt..."Oh, what happened..did I just piss on myself"?:lol: TM
TM I know we have discussed this over pm's and mails yeah if only we could get back to how we were as kids. As children we were not ashamed of pulling out our cocks and masturbating running around naked and arousing ourselves in different ways . Its interesting how we start developing layer after layer of beliefs around our core and loose sight of who we are as we get older.
Hmm,..FM said: "As children we were not ashamed of pulling out our cocks and masturbating running around naked and arousing ourselves in different ways" I, only, remember seeing one 7 year old boy doing something like this in public. (I thought he was strange for him to do this.) I, now, see it as an uninhibited act that he thought was, OK. I didn't start to masturbate until I was 13 or 14. I remember thinking I shouldn't do this for some reason...I believe it was shame. I should be doing this with a woman. This belief didn't stop until I was 30-35 years old! I remember feeling guilty to have a woman suck my cock. It seemed to be a demeaning act for a woman to perform. I believed this until age 50! I don't know too much about early childhood sexuality. I believe, many girls think they can get pregnant by kissing a boy. It's an unrealistic belief based on a lack of information. TM
Exactly my point TM. You so this little boy dancing around naked and you thought it was wierd yet the boy in his world thought it was cool. The little boy had no inhibitions he just did what he wanted freely. Alot of boys play with their cocks in their teenage years thinking to themselves whats this peculiar thing in the middle of my legs. Wow when I play with it I get lots of pleasure . Then they get caught playing and punished and this ingrains bad programming about masturbation and anything related to sex. When these boys get older and sex becomes and a topic of conversation they either shy away from it or giggle and dont say a word.
I was never told to NOT masturbate. I did it in the privacy of the bathroom/shower. I can see that a child/teenager might get some BAD beliefs about masturbation if a parent or someone tells him/her that it is WRONG (shameful) to do this. TM
By the way I am not suggesting that anyone who reads this thread goes out in public and masturbates your probably get arrested
I have been waiting for notification on my email to see what ya'll were saying and never got one. So I thought I would come take a look and see what was going on. Here is a whole conversation I am missing out on. I will check more often.... Okay, so many times I wish I could go back to being a child. I would mess around so much. I never had a cousin or a friend to mess with but sometimes I fantasize about it. I would let the dog lick me without feeling ashamed. I would play with my girlfriends and boyfriends. It must be the shame. I must have shame buried deep in my core. But gentlemen, I am working on it! I want to be able to stare at tits- not that I am gay- or a crotch and be able to have my clit get hard and swollen, and let my pussy get wet. I want to be able to look a man in the eye while screwing around and not feel embarassed. The mental block! Got to get rid of it!!! That goes along with the thinking too much as well, and yes I DO think way to much, then when you try not to it is evn worse. Now, since 2007- that was the last time I had sex, but I do masturbate and get wet... I have had like 2 orgasms with guys in my life.. real ones. I had to hold my breath for a long time and bear down.,. that was humiliating.. then the finally, finally I came, but I had to conjure up one of my fantasy's to do it... yes, I concede it has to be the mental block thing... so where were we? Oh yes, lets get rid of the shame! I will work on that!!! BTW.. have finally started watching porn. I got rid of the unrealistic expectation of going to hell for getting turned on... damn religion!!!
Sandee... you asked if while I wasn't looking the man firmly put his hand on my ass and would that turn me on... because he is so happy and turned on he grabs it out of total lust... for me? Yes. That would turn me on! I do believe tequilla man was right. Seducing the man, or molesting the slow man.. I am a sick bitch. Geez. Oh well, I promised unadulterated truth, so there it is.
Thanks, JR, for your input about your sexuality. I don't think that you are too different from most women and their sexuality. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself with your sex fantasies. They're fantasies, and that is all they are. It doesn't mean you will really do them. I'm glad to read that you are responsive to a mans' sensuous TOUCH. Knowledge and beliefs about your sexuality will help you lose some or most of your beliefs about shame and embarrassment. You are on a GREAT Journey to realize your sexual potential. Expressing yourself, on this site, will help you. What you say will help men better understand women. We are here to support you, just like all of the men. TM Note 1: JRs' input is soo interesting! Not many women will express herself, on-line or anywhere else..we are sooo LUCKY!!! Note 2: I was being intimate with a woman and she told me she had a fantasy that two men were fucking her. I took it as a compliment...I am that fucking good at making her believe two men are fucking her at the same time! Note 3: If you want to fulfill that sex fantasy about you being a slut with some loser guy, you can go to the Netherlands and be with Tiger.
The Netherlands.. that would be great, it would be even better if he had some slober drooling from his mouth!! Ha, I laugh but I am not kidding! I think this is helping, thanks so much!
The girl I use to see we were very open about our sexual fantasia's. We would discuss them openly. One of hers was to be an innocent slave girl who gets "savaged" by a roman soldier. We talked about me dressing up as a soldier and her dressing up as a slave girl. I would then creep up behind her grab her tear her clothes of and and fuck her brains out . I once got her to dress up in high heels and short skirt and pretend to be an escort waiting for a client. She loved that one I got her to stand in the park. I role played the client took her behind the bushes and did my job.
FM- I remember you telling us those stories. Wasn't she the Polish girl who became infatuated with you? JR- For Tiger to be drooling is typical. I have several sex fantasy stories that I tell women. It helps in getting them in the MOOD by kicking-in their sexual imagination. TM
Thats awesome, about Tiger always in a state of drool.:lol: All kidding aside though, I thank you guys so much. YOU have no idea how much this helps me. I really have a bunch of different fetishes or fantasies. I know this one is really bad, but would love to role play getting molested, please no one say anything negative, because I am already ashamed of it. I will take TM's advice and remember that it is Just a fantasy. I have no idea why it turns me on. Honestly, maybe that it is so bad?! But I will share more as we go along. Animals, mentally challenged, pretty much everything illegal and or immoral!- But what do you do?... I am going to try and find that fetish thread TM- ya'll rock! One day, I would like to work upon getting off with just a regular person and not have to have all this other stuff, but till then... this is what works for me, you know. But, that's talk for another day. I have a feeling I will be spending alot of time on this site. Learning, experiencing and laughing and sharing. If ya'll get tired of me, just let me know!
JR; Well, like I said, "It's just a fantasy that you have". To act on things that are harmful to YOU or someone else would be crossing the line. TM
