Another movement to destruction. Jesse can not help me.

You remember that colleague? I thought I was strong enough and I decided to make a movement forward with her. But that destroyed me. I feel like I am swimming in shit and there is no way out.

As a part of the game, I offered to drive her home from work a couple of days ago and she accepted.
In the car she was complaining about my nervousness and she made me feel bad.

FUCK. I experience a fucking big amount of resistance from her thereafter. She refused my new offeres to drive her home.

The problem is that I got stuck. I got so emotionally trapped in her that I got into a completely wreck state again.

* I don´t want you to simply tell me:

-to back off, because even if I want to back off I can not. I am emotionally traped and fucked. I try not to talk to her, but this is all I can do.
-go out to find other girls. I feel so fucked up again. Even if I attempt to go out to find girls they will notice my frastration. No matter how good I am with the game, they will notice. And I am really dreadfull to face the fact that I have to start the game all over again.
-use my existing contacts so I gain some confidence. Are you serious? My existing contacts are so limited (2-3). They will again notice my insecurities and lose them for good.
-go on with that chick because she likes you but she is just testing you with token resistence.
-It is your fault loser. Get a life-- I know it. Don´t you have something better to recommend?

Guys. I feel so fucked up and ruined with women, I wish I could live without them but I feel forced to follow a game that doesn´t work for me. I always lose.


Thankz

Alex

focus

Alex you have been asking for advice for almost a year now. It seems to come around to the same thing. You are stuck in this endless circle of oneitis with this girl at work. I and many others have advised you to move on and yet you continue to hold this girl on such a ahigh pedastal that it is unhealthy.

Snap out of this Alex and get into other interests. Find other outlets to focus your frustrations and look for other girls. You are about to mess up your job and frustrate yourself to the point of illness.

SHS

Expectation..

New_Alex,

We wish you all the Best! It's painful to hear you
are in a position like this. I like you to have fun
and happiness, regardless of (having) any woman.

Now, what do you think is the way out of the stuck
state? I'm assuming you want to get out of it... right?

Some guys rather want to have a painful life, having
others to feel sorry for them, just for the attention. I
guess you aren't one of those guys right? Great..

So, how can WE help you?

If you are saying we can't do anything, or Jesse
can't do anything... what do you expect from us
here?

Tell us how we can help...

Take care,


TVM

Alex, i can totally understand what youre saying because infact im going TROUGH THE SAME THING ASWELL!

I WANT to get out, but i cant, no matter how HARD i convince myself to do this. I CANT, im paralyzed. I know it looks like a f'n joke, but its true.

Its asif shes holding me on her FISHING cord, Im about to slip, but then she pulls back harder.

Like last night, i was feeling all good and shit, i was SLOWLY forgetting about her, and then she said "I thought maby i wanna start over again. But now that you said this and that, FORGET what i said"

She goes straight to my heart, she grabs on to it real HARD, then pulls it out. I felt like i was having fever, icouldnt control my self, i said so many AFC things. Its hilariouse when i look back to it.

Karea, your post helped me too man, thanks.

Have you thought of asking for rejection?

Walk up direct and just get it out. 'Straight up. You're cute. you're funny. And I like it. You comfortable risking drinks after work? No? Cool, thanks for the straight talk.'

Cross her off the list, move on with your life. Easy for me to say. But despite being married I AM dating. And I do occassionally have to be up front and just let the woman disqualify herself altogether.

[I'm experimenting with self disqualification lately. Works good. Not sure why. Not sure if this is something you can use.

HB: 'So why is a married guy at the bar talking to women?'
Cedar: 'My wife likes girls. I'm out to meet hot chicks I can introduce to my wife later.'
HB: 'Really?'
Cedar: 'Yeah, it's kinda wierd. But it's what we do.']

to be updated

Fun doesn't just come with girls.

This won't match the Karea's post... but it's an idea to help.

Karea mentioned it in his post in just one sentence: "Take up new hobbies and interests, travel, learn a language and do whatever else it takes to get your mind off her and to get out of that shit you're swimming in!"

I know (well, think) you really like music. What other kinds of things do you have interests in? If you find yourself a good hobby that you live to do, then that will also consume your mind... and start pushing her out.

Not sure where you live... but take up something like snowboarding or skiing. I just started boarding last month, and now I can't wait for weekends when I can hit the mountains. And guess what, there's lotsa girls learning snowboarding too.

Maybe, come up with a goal like trying to run a marathon. You're gonna have to put a lotta work into getting to that stage. And every week, you'll spend hours working on that.

I'm sure there's some things that really interest you. And dedicate yourself to them for a bit.

Make that your reality. And not her. Sure, it won't make you forget her, but you'll put yourself in a position where you can meet tons of other people with similar interests. And when you meet these people, you won't need to be thinking about her, because you'll be having fun. That's deifnitely a step in the right direction.

CJRookie

Please hear me buddy!

Hey New Alex,

let me ask you something? Who do you think controls your life, you or someone else? You are the creator and originator of your thoughts and your thoughts create certain emotions and your emotions lead to certain actions and behaviours and those in turn create a certain habit or habits which guide you to a certain path of either Self Mastery and Ultimate Success or self-destruction and demise. My point is that you have full control of your life and you can be the biggest chick magnet that ever lived, but it all starts from your thoughts Listen dude we've all been there. Some of the biggest PUA's in the world like Jesse, Mystery, Style, Tyler were also the biggest AFC's, sub alpha, needy, wussies out there including me. But you know what that is what shaped us, propelled us to win at this game of life. Not just win, but win fuckin' big time. See as JFK stated:

There is no great reward without great risk or great temporary setbacks. Remember that whenever something is not working out, or is making you frustrated or crazy or upset. There is massive success just around the corner. You must believe that. So long as you are learning from your mistakes, bringing out your best alpha traits and subdueing your beta traits on a constant basis you will eventually internalize a new alpha, chick-drawing belief system, but you need to constantly work that muscle. I still do inner game stuff all the time. I also go out in the field 5 time/week as consistency breeds more consistency and success breads more success. See for all of these years we have let all the bullshit from society and negative conditioning fuck with us, now its time to re wire the circuitry to propel us to the status of a true Venusian Artist or Lady's Man and that does take time and work. So hang in there buddy, go out meet more women, and please work on your inner game as everything outer is a projection from the inner. Please analyze some of your core identity beliefs and global beliefs including beliefs about women, yourself, dating that is holding you back and really figure out if they are justified or not. You will find that most of them are lies holding you back and once you make this self realization you are on your way to the promise land.

Write down what beliefs you need to have to be successful with women
What do you want out of this community
WHo are you
What is your identity
What makes you unique
What do you want in a partner
What will you tolerate
etc

see DEFINE YOUR REALITY...because right now you are seeing a ball of confusion and your reality is kind of blurred. Let's clear it

Then state these beliefs three times:

1. I am an alpha male
2. I make no excuses for my sexual desires
3. Women find me irresistable and sexy
4. I am at cause in the world , not effect . I make things happen
5. I am the master of my own destiny
6. I am non needy and non clingy. I am indifferent to the outcome
7. I date hot 10's
8. Women chase me, but I could care less as I have my plate full right now


See ..these beliefs will get sunk into your sub conscious mind and acted upon by your sub conscious mind and bring to fruition that PIMP that is within you and the Rockstar like LIFE you deserve

Get a grip....I'm throwing you the rope, are you taking it or are you leaving this earth in disgrace?


We love you man, as inside you is each of us and we have been there and have experienced much worse but what has made us and guys like the best in the world is the refusal to give up, based on the realization that :

"THOSE MEANT FOR GREATNESS WILL BE TESTED AND HAVE TO DEAL WITH OBSTACLES, WHEREAS THOSE WHO ARE DESTINED FOR METEOCRITY WILL HAVE IT EASY, BUT THEIR RESULTS WILL BE METEOCRE WHILE GUYS LIKE US ARE DESTINED TO LEAD GRAND, MAGNIFICENT PLAYBOY LIFESTYLES"

ALL THIS PAIN, FRUSTRATION AND SHIT IS FUCKIN' WORTH IT......

I KNOW YOU WILL AGREE WITH ME, WHEN YOU HAVE TWO CHICKS ON YOUR ARMS NEXT WEEKEND YOU SLICK PIMP YOU ! lol!


But remember everythign is a test, and only a stepping stone to success if you learn from it and grow from it.


McMaax

PS Thanks to all of you guys on here who are genuinely helpful and compassioante like Karea, Wannabee, Frankeye, SHS, Jesse, etc..

Thanks man, youve been great help, i just had convo with her and i was just upfront with her that i cant see her anymore because of my emotions and that i need to forget about her, it didnt really care much to her (which actually makes me put even MORE THOUGHT into her)

Anyway, im following your advice and ill do whatever it takes to keep my mind away from her. I already deleted her number, and gonna get rid of all the signs which makes me think about her.

PUSH THE BUTTON

Edit: MCmaax, your feedback on this topic is well appreciated. I love this quote "THOSE MEANT FOR GREATNESS WILL BE TESTED AND HAVE TO DEAL WITH OBSTACLES, WHEREAS THOSE WHO ARE DESTINED FOR METEOCRITY WILL HAVE IT EASY, BUT THEIR RESULTS WILL BE METEOCRE WHILE GUYS LIKE US ARE DESTINED TO LEAD GRAND, MAGNIFICENT PLAYBOY LIFESTYLES"

Btw, much love to everyone who has contributed a little bit to this topic. hehe

New_Alex,

You've been posting here longer than me, everytime I read one of your post, what you said seems opposite of what's actualy in the ebooks.

Which begs the question; did you even read the ebooks? And if you did read them did you care to do what was written in it?

Because from when I started coming here, all the posts you wrote seemed to be things you made up from your own head, and not principles based on Jesse's books, which I knew right away wasn't going to work.

You need to read the ebooks and actually apply the principles in them, not just read and forget everything and make stuff up from your own head that you think makes you a player.

You know, ive been reading this newsletter over and over for WEEKS, but it still didnt help me to actually PUSH THE BUTTON, it only made it clear to me what i was doing, and that i was doing SO wrong, but it didnt help the emotional aspect.

http://www.seductionscience.com/content/fight-the-pedestal.htm

But thanks to this topic, i pushed it, now i just need to keep pressing it for a while. Thanks

New_Alex i really hope you will recover from this. Because i know how fucked up you can feel in such a situation.

Private. You must be a registered member to view this post.

Great, I'm 'etc.' Thanks man. Means the world to me.

Hi new Alex.


When you see her (or just thinking of her) triggers those emotions. And those emotions start influencing/taking_control of your beliefs and thoughts. See, the fucked up thing is that emotions are faster than thoughts. They get there (to the prefrontal lobes of your brain) first.
Stop and think for a minute. You messed up with her. Reason? Maybe you didn't play it right. So does that mean that you give up hitting on girls bcs of one defeat? And the situation has been understood by the emotional part of your brain as much worse than what it is in fact. I suggest you go through the whole even in your mind and try to pinpoint what you did wrong. Look at your potential for a minute, think of your achievements. Think of where you want to be in life. You really think that this obstacle you are coming accross is going to make you give up? Forget about this girl (at least for now).
You also know that whatever it was that you did wrong, it can be improved (with preparation and practice). Something else that needs to change is your emotional reaction when faced with her or even other girls. This can be done with practice as well. Everytime those emotions are triggered, practice on restraining them, on breaking them with logic. Eventually the emotional weight of such situations will change (not if you don't practice though). Like learning to get rid of a habit.
The first few times might be hard for you to remain cool, detached, etc. You might think is impossible when you enter the situation. MAN THE FUCK UP. Take control of yourself. Mental preparation is quite efficient as well. Think of her, notice your emotions and start learning how to get a grip on them. Think of different scenarios; these will trigger emotions (and you use the opportunity to practice controlling them). Then you practice getting your confidence back with other girls. Study this seduction shit. And you know that results will come.

All the best.

You're a good guy, Alex

New_Alex,

All these guys have good things to say. Listen to them. They care for your well being.

--I say hold off on picking up women for right now.

--Seek validation from yourself and within yourself first.

--Get yourself together by expelling all negative thinking.

--Rehash all those things that are important to you which are above women. Enjoy and focus on them again.

--When you're happy with yourself and with what you have, then you may share that happiness with other people.

Jay Olie Espy

what a great thread ... haven't been posting here in a while, but this one has got me nodding my head 'yeah!'

New Alex, been there, done that. Gave up, gave up giving up, got back into the thick of it, got thrown out again, crawled back for more ... and so on.

I did something interesting a while back. Made a list of all the girls I'd struck out with at one time or another. The list ran down to a couple dozen. Then to the right, I checked off the names of the girls who'd eventually let me get physical with them. I was amazed; despite initial rejections, I'd ended up making out or having sex with about 60% of the girls.

What was the key to the follow-up success? I discovered a pattern ... the girls who changed their minds about me were mostly the ones that I was willing to forget about and leave behind.

Karea has got the idea exactly right --- push the red button. Everyone's red button is a little different. For some it's gonna be a drastic, change everything solution. For older guys like me, it may take less to re-focus our attention. (I pushed the red button a year and a half ago when life itself was getting too boring ... left a major law firm and a six-figure income to travel the world teaching English ... because if you're not happy day-to-day, it doesn't matter what your title or your income is ... and the same thing applies to women ... in fact, life is a lot like a woman ... can't take it too seriously or it'll fuck you up ...)

In your case, if you're unable emotionally to write this girl off now, then at least tell yourself you're going to do what it takes to make yourself attractive to her ... and quit your job, move away, start working out, etc., under the pretense, if you need one, that this is going to make yourself more attractive to her. But I'll bet you that you'll discover something interesting along the way -- that your attraction to her will diminish, that you'll enjoy meeting other girls, and that you can be equally attracted to a number of other women, some of whom will actually reciprocate your feelings.

Work through the pain. The pain is your friend. It's teaching you what you want, and whether you have the inner strength to get it. And when you don't have the strength, it forces you to develop it.

Bottom line --- you may get this girl someday, or you may not. There are no guarantees. (The only guarantee is that if you do get her, sooner or later you're gonna get tired of her. I've read your posts about this girl; she may be imminently fuckable but other than that, she sounds boring, immature, and spoiled.)

But if you want to maximize your chances, then get a life. This girl will never be your girlfriend until you have something else in your life you value more than her and you live your life with passion and conviction that you are the shit. McMaxx has offered some most excellent advice on this subject.

And finally, retreat is not surrender. Back off now and live to fight another day!