Ive been courting this woman for the past few weeks relentlessly and have made significant progress in making her feel confortable around me. Problem is she is engaged. I flirt with her, make her laugh and shes also has been receptive when I touch her arm, hand. Playfully tap her back etc. I get really close to her and hold eye contact and even caught her winking a few times while we converse. I just can't seem to isolate her and get enough 1 on 1 time with her. For instance, the other day she had mentioned that she wanted to go with out of the office with me. I set a few things up so we could go together but she took way to long to go out. I finally approached her and asked her if she was going or not. She complained about her supervisor being uptight so I told one of the other girls if she wanted to come with me instead. She said yes and we left. When we returned she approached me and asked if I was mad at her. I said to her " Why would I be mad at you?" even though I was a little upset. She made some excuse up about how she was going to go with me but I left with the other girl before she could tell me. Jokingly, I said "Now I'm a little PO'd at you." Then she said that next time we could send the other girl by herself and we could together somewhere else. I need your advise on how to escalate this to the next level and close the deal
Tony- I would suggest that you continue being friends with her and learn to NOT get upset or angry when things don't go your way...your EGO is getting into the way for you to enjoy being with her. Learn to enjoy being with her for each moment. I think, you are pursuing her because she is attractive, but, it's a challenge to sway her to be attracted to you and have sex with you. She is engaged and this is TABOO territory. Find someone who is available to be sexual with. TM
I'm not the moral police type and I'm not trying to suggest any actions are right or wrong, but I would like to share a related story. A year ago I was seeing this girl who was on a break with her bf. We hung out a few times, had very little chemistry, but made great friends (my choice as much as hers). Eventually she got back together with her bf, but we kept in touch. We'd occasionally talk, but there was never any flirting. Her bf accused her of sleeping with me and started to abuse her. The point I'm getting at is, it kind of bothered me. I know the blame rests on her bf's hands, but the fact that my name was even associated with a woman getting hit made me feel horrible. Muddy situations can end in ways that weigh heavy on your conscience. If you're okay with those kinds of things then continue what you're doing, but if you're like me you might want to find another girl as TM suggested.
Tony... unfortunately I don't think she's really attracted to you enough to want sex with you. She's using you for validation. Women like it when guys are attracted to them and shower them with some attention. She feels a bit of sexual tension coming from you, and she's feeding off of it. Kind of like when a girl walks into a night club dressed to look sexy in high heels and a sparkling dress - she WANTS guys to look at her, she WANTS to show off. But that's about it. The guys are a tool for her to pump her emotions. The next step to get out of that phase would be to physically escalate. Talking won't do it. You'll need to start touching her in different ways. Hugging her, thumb wrestling, taking her hand, etc. But since you didn't do that from the beginning, it will feel really weird that it's coming from out of the blue, from out of nowhere all of a sudden. Also, if she sees you as a source of validation (let' just be friends) she'll resist a physical escalation. Throw in the complication that she's ENGAGED and you're in for a tough time here. Also, the fact that you're after an engaged friend over just going out to meet single, unattached women in your area suggests that you're too needy and dependent on this ONE girl working out for you that you'll fuck it up... since you're coming from a place of scarcity. That's a lot of negatives working against you. Good luck.
I do my attraction-getting from women by being flirty/touchy and funny with them. If they are married/engaged/have BF I DON'T take it to the next level of being or wanting to be sexual with them. I will, of course, be friendly with them. TM
