Girlfriend Problem

Discussion in 'Girlfriend Relationships' started by robcard, Jan 31, 2006.

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  1. robcard New Member

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    Hey,

    I'm on the verge of breaking up with my girlfriend. It's something that I have caused because before I met her she went on a rebound with this married guy (one of her managers) at work (who also slept with loads of other women at her work). He had alot of influence over all the other guys at her work. He was Alpha Male. She knew he was married but he isn't in a happy marriage - he just stays with his wife for the little kids sake.

    I want a girl with good morals. She has been loving to me for the past 6 months and faithful. she loves and adores me and will do anything to make it work between us. She knows she did wrong but she was having sex with him for 6 months. she did it in work so they didn't get caught - they didn't even go on dates, because she didn't want to think about it outside work, she just wanted the fun/sex out of it. She thinks that if it's ok for guys to just have sex with people ''no strings'' then girls should be able to also. I don't feel that way.

    I do love her but haven't been able to accept ther past.

    Any help?
    Rob
    robcard, Jan 31, 2006
    #1

  2. SHS New Member

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    whew, that's a bomb

    OK, first of all I would not go breaking up with her because of her past. It is the present you need to focus on.
    1) How is she now?
    2) Are you perfect?
    3) If you are, then you are right, you need to move on.
    4) Didn't you know this BEFORE you started an LTR?
    5) If it bothers you that badly, then find a virgin.....but then you aren't one now.

    Well I guess your are in a catch 22......

    SHS
    SHS, Jan 31, 2006
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  3. SHS New Member

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    and.....

    you might have noticed you touched a nerve in me.

    Are you intimate with this girl now? Because, if you are, in some peoples opinion you are doing immoral acts.

    Why don't you just define morality for us Rob?

    Yep, I guess I'm being a bit tough on ya!
    Think about it.

    Oh, and Rob, accepting her past would be a big step toward "love". I don't care if you define it religiously or not.

    BTW, why are you taking this course?

    SHS
    SHS, Jan 31, 2006
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  4. New_Alex New Member

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    Rob, I love you man, for your really interesting story.

    I am sure you are in the right place, and people will try first to make you understand that morals and norms are responsible for people´s misery and problems.

    In life, I am a loser man, but I feel wise from what happened and still happens to me. Jesse´s books are my bibble and I refer to them every time I fail the mission.

    In my negative experience, I have been treated better by people who didn´t sell any morlas and norms. This is true. See what religion brings to people.... They fight. Countries and borders....FIGHT......RULES = FIGHT, FLEXIBILITY = LOVE AND RESPECT.

    It is no bad when the girl said in other words "Sex Is not Bad". Because by nature, every healthy person feels and thinks about it.

    What Jesse suggests is that Women like Sex equally as Men do. They just interract differenlty. So learn that phrase and repeat it every time you get up in the morning.

    It is not your fault for what is happening. You get stuck on things. Imagine a world without morals and norms and the 3rd dimension will open up for you. Try to look the world differrent. Try to look the world with the eye of the seducer.

    One last thing. If you ever have to choose between a girl who pretends she is the "Maria Magdalena" and a girl who believes in sex, choose the second. She will treat you better and you will learn more about life and the real world.

    Alex
    New_Alex, Feb 1, 2006
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  5. randyb1971 New Member

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    I'm going to say this, if thats her past, let it be it has nothing to do with you now, however i know what your saying it bothers you that you don't want to look at her as slut but the reality is she did what she did by emotions. The key ingreident is if you trust her now, it doesn't matter what she did in the past. I will express trust if you have doubts about it, all thats going to do is bringing the relationship down.
    randyb1971, Feb 1, 2006
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  6. Theverticaleman New Member

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    Move on

    Agreed on the freedom of women. Men are free
    to have sex with multiple women. Women are
    free to have sex with multiple men.

    But if she made a PROMISE to be faithfull, it's
    bad behavior if she still F* around.

    And that's what she did. And I don't think you
    should go further with her. She isn't trustworthy.

    If you had a polygamous relationship... it would
    be an entirely other story. But it wasn't, right?

    Move on, I know this is painfull.. but I promise; if
    you move on... after a while you will be better
    off (double!).

    Success,


    TVM

    P.s.: As I understand it, she had sex with him
    WHILE being with you... right?
    Theverticaleman, Feb 1, 2006
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  7. Angelic

    Jesse Charger Administrator

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    Many women have a need for variety in their sex life, some women have this need for variety stronger than others. If she feels she needs a lot of sexual variety, then you need to provide this need or she'll look elsewhere for it.

    For example, you could introduce her to swinging or if that's too much then to sexy/dirty talk of speaking out her sexual fantasies, which she probably has a lot of.

    It may also be you're just not meeting some other needs of hers and she's only saying that she needs no-strings attached sex as an excuse for her behavior, but really it is something else... like you are not acting like a man in the relationship / you lose your temper often / you have bad habits that turn her off, etc

    It may also be possible that you are meeting her needs rather well but she's not mature, she's damaged, etc. (in that case move on)

    You can sit down with her and get some honest answers from her about why she did it, and what you're not providing to her in the relationship.

    One thing I've been experimenting with is having a girlfriend and myself writing out the five most annoying things about each other (in a friendly way) and working on eliminating those things.

    And also making a list of the 5 things you wish your partner did more of. And making an honest effort to making those things happen.

    However, if it turns out she just needs sexual variety as one of her basic needs and you're not willing to go along with that in any form fantasy or otherwise, than she's not the girl for you.

    Jesse
    ________________________

    Click here for my Build a Passive Stream of 10 to 30 Girls With Less Effort free mini course.
    Jesse Charger, Feb 2, 2006
    #7

  8. robcard New Member

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    Thanks

    Hey all, Thanks for your replies.

    No she didn't have sex while being with me - it was before I even met her. So i guess im in the wrong - I guess I was just looking for a girl who hadn't given herself away to someone else so easily. But i've fallen in love with her. Can't change the past but can't get past it either. Stupid of me really!
    robcard, Feb 2, 2006
    #8