Hey Man,I think I have a pretty good idea of what you are dealing with. First of all, dont try to understand her. You never will, trust me, even if it seems clear as day. Second, you need to work on not getting upset. This only gets worse with time and will damage your relationship. I met this girl several years ago while in college. We had a connection between us like I had never felt with any other girl the very first time we hung out. I had never wanted to get serious with any girl, even her. Just wasnt interested with the hassle. Anyway over a period of time we hung out and dated and I found myself spending a lot of time with her so naturally we were getting closer, but I still had goals I wanted to accomplish before I would get any more serious. I made that clear to her. I wasnt mean or pushed her away at all. I was in control of my life. During this time she wanted to progress the relationship and was constantly pushing me to do so. It was like she revolved around me. Did and accepted anything I wanted to do. If our relationship ended, it wouldnt have made a difference in my life and she could see that. After about a year, I was making accomplishments and didnt care too much about going out or drinking and all the crap I did with my buddies anymore. So I started allowing more and more to our relationship. Eventually I made her the priority over my life and my goals became second to her. Long story shortened I became serious like she wanted because I decided I wanted to also. I was good with that. She was too, very happy. Anyway, the more my life revolved around her the less she revolved around me. I didnt understand and it frustrated me. She began to do things that went against our so called serious relationship that I didnt like. I drove myself nuts trying to figure it out. Needless to say, I found the tables had turned very quickly. And I began to appear jeallous and controlling and wound up feeling like a fool. It amazed me cuz I was only doing what she wanted the whole time I knew her. My lesson learned, always put yourself before the girl. As long as you are stable and accomplishing your goals she will be following you. Never make her the priority over what you need to be doing for you. You take the lead. She will test you but you have to blow it off and stay focused on where you are going, even if it means losing her. I have found that women will try to take control but their nature is to be led by their man. If you give them control they will make you a chump and will not be respected by her or anyone else. This is your life, its her choice to accompany you or not. A "serious" relationship should not change you or your goals. The only difference is you are exclusive to her. You are the same person. If she doesnt act exclusive, dump her and find a better one. Dont go by what she says, go by what she does. Reward her when deserving, blow her off when she is not. Get back involved with your buddies or do something that will better yourself in accomplishing your goals. She is second. Like Jesse says, YOU are the prize. With relationships, you have to develop a bluff. If you get to the point you are worried about her, or if you feel like you don't want to live w/o her you have to always bluff. By your Alpha actions she will feel like you will have your life with or without her, but you show her you are glad she is a part of YOUR life. She will test, but never let it break you. Hope all this helps.