A woman asked other women about, Unwanted touching, what do you do? on FetLife.com. You can see all of the responses at: https://fetlife.com/groups/5185/group_posts/1767593 Here is her question: So this seems to be happening to me more lately. I want to put a stop to it but keep encountering "deer in the headlights syndrome" and just stiffen and freeze up instead. What do you do in that situation? Politely ask them to stop? Remove their hand from wherever it is exploring? Slap their hand? I'm never sure of the best course of action so I just don't do anything... it frustrates me that I can't get up the nerve to put a stop to it. I think I might specify who these people are who are doing the touching... usually guys at parties or someone on a date. Basically people that I don't really know that well or at all. But it shouldn't really matter. If I don't want the touching, it shouldn't happen. Here are some responses: First time: "Please Stop" and put distance between myself and the offender. Second time: "Don't touch me" slapping at the hand and removing myself completely from the situation. Anymore than that and its a serious problem. You have to practice saying no, in a wide variety of ways. All the ones you mentioned are viable. In all cases, a clear, loud, "No!" should occur with whatever you choose to do. You don't have to be polite. Also, you have to learn to speak up. If you're at a party, let the host know that you're having a problem. Most groups have rules about this. Opinion of a dude.....The harder you shut us down, the more likely they are not to do it again....to you or anyone else. Nobody has the right to touch you...NOBODY...so don't let people think it's ok Did I get my message across?...Ask permission to TOUCH a woman. This means, NO grab-assing. A gentle TOUCH on the shoulders or arms are OK. TM
