I haven't posted on here in a while (over a year). Last year my computer got a virus and everything was deleted. It was such a beautiful Summer out, I thought, "fuck it" and decided to spend a lot of time enjoying the nice outdoor weather. I spent almost the entire Summer without a computer, outside, relaxing, enjoying myself and taking a break from technology. It was very refreshing. :thumbup: This Summer is just as beautiful after a long winter (I'm so fed up with snow I'm moving to Vegas in a year or two) it was literally one 3ft blizzard after another. I'm trying to switch my game to more natural and go with my instincts, like I do in poker. Poker is a game that is as simple as you want it to be or as complicated as you want it to be. You can have amazing results playing very straight-forward like Doyle Brunson or get very analytical and mathematical like Chris Fergeson. Either style works, it's up to you which one you choose. My desire is to do something everyday that improves my financial health, (poker & business) emotional health, (socialize, pick-up) physical health (exercise) and sexual health (sex). Lastnight I was out at the store and I saw a beautiful blonde (my type of girl!) and I didn't approach her. There was no logical reason why. She was by herself. Hardly anyone else was around. I don't know why I didn't approach, but it's gotten be down-in-the-dumps just thinking about it. I even knew exactly what to say that would have made her laugh and spark some kind of attraction in her. David DeAngelo said he's noticed that in the successful friends he has, they're running from something, usually it's poverty. The reason they're so successful is becuase they don't want to be poor, and the very thought makes them strive harder. I don't know if you remember the friend I told you about last year, he's 63 and has never been married, never had a gf (to my knowledge), never had a dating life. He just sits home by himself when he's not working or goes to church on the weekends and sits around really old people or 35 year-old women whose lives were fucked up by having a kid and not being married, but who still won't give him the time of day. Just thinking about it makes me so depressed. I'm trying to run so hard from that kind of life, even though I love him as a friend and consider him the only family I have left. More than anything, I don't want to be where he is when I'm 63, but it seems like no matter what I do it's never enough ... like I make one mistake and I think about him (he's my motivation to do better) and that gets me depressed for some reason. Anyway, I'm back and looking for some good convo!
this reminds me a bit of the situation i described here: http://www.seductionscience.com/forum/7775-new-identity-about-friends-clothes.html (on the evening i will write something more to this subject) You know you shouldn't try to run away or to avoid something, you should try to achieve an aim. Because if you are for example fat and just concentrate on this, you will not going anywhere... but if you concentrate on an healthy lifestyle, on jogging, on workouts, on becoming slim you will get slim... but if you are just thinking about not being fat anymore.. literally nothing will happen, may be you just get fatter because you get frustrated... so concentrate on things you want to achieve and not on preventing. So if he makes you depressed my advice would be to leave him. Search for somebody who has more than you, more money, a better lifestyle, more girls... because this will motivate you... you will say: "Hey, what he can, i can do better!" And you will do if you really believe in it. But if you are already better than all the people in you life, there is nothing to aim and that`s why your 63 old friend is no good for you. just my opinion...
Hey I DO remember that story! Nice ! :thumbup: Good idea. Moving to a new city is VERY good for a man as an experience. Nice analogy... You didn't approach because many reasons, but one is you're setting your sights too high! You can't wait for the super hottie to appear to do your approach. You've got to be approaching the 6s and 7s as well. Otherwise you'll choke when the hotter girl comes along. Second, freedom from outcome. You need to drop outcomes like... - wanting to get laid - wanting to be liked - wanting a girlfriend - wanting to get her approval - wanting to be a PUA And so on. All of those cause approach anxiety, put you inside your head, make you timid and conservative. Use being pissed off to fuel yourself... to feel a fury. There are TONS of guys like that. TONS. Like 90% of the guys out there are like that. Maybe they're married, but if their wife died they'd be in the EXACT same situation. So why is it depressing you? That's how the world is. You could find poverty and crappiness in most any city or in other countries and you could get depressed about it too. There's a MILLION things to be depressed about if your mind goes looking for it. A million reasons to feel like a victim. But it doesn't serve you... Do NOT use him as a motivation. It's like a smoker who uses dead bodies in morgues to motivate him to stop smoking. Using the worst case scenario to depress yourself. NOT effective, STOP IT !!!
Jesse - Sorry if it looks mumbled, I don't know how to "quoite" ppl on here. One problem I have is, I'm close to the people I know and I have a hard time making new close friends. In a city like Vegas where there are mostly tourists, how do you suggest making close friendships? Not talking about PUA, just friends in general in a place like Vegas? Moving is a totally new experience for me, it's literally a new start. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I'm very much a home boy (I love the town I live in) but Vegas is big and exciting and a new start that I very much need.
Friendships are often made in close, intense situations where bonding is almost REQUIRED to get through the situation. Like sports. Or school exams. You can get involved in something physical, like an ultimate frisbee team or something... That way you kill two birds with one stone, make new friends AND get in your exercise AND have fun. But whatever your route, don't expect new friends to fall into your lap. You'll need to take initiative to join the team or club yourself and follow through. Sitting back and taking-it-easy is a surefire way for nothing to happen.
Well obviously! That was so obvious I feel stupid for asking. I play poker and golf so that was never a problem. I always felt close to the guys I played golf with for the first time after 18 holes. Do you think it's possible to make friends with guys in bars and clubs? Is it needed? Is it even possible? I sometimes feel hate towards other guys at a bar if they look at me the wrong way or get too close when I'm trying to talk to a girl. If a guy ever tried to talk to me while I was talking to a girl or tried to talk to her at the same time I think I would floor him. What do you mean when you say to "lead" other men? Maybe I'm already doing this without knowing. Give an example.
Hmm, I didn't use that word "lead" so I can't give you any examples You don't need to lead to make friends. As far as making friends in bars and clubs, that's quite doable. But you don't really have a common goal to strive towards, which is usually what bonds men together. So you've got to be taking all the initiative... opening the groups, talking to the guys, follow up on facebook. Instead, best way to make friends quickly with other guys at bars and clubs is talk to the girls and then introduce the girls to the guys you met. Then the guys will see you as really awesome and cool because you're contributing so much free value to them. You look like gold to them. That's best if you're talking it up to tons of girls though and you've got more than you can handle. Then you can make lots of guy friends. Otherwise, explore other avenues...
I know you didn't use the word lead, but I thought I would put you on the spot and ask you anyway. :thumbup: Thanks for the advise. As I become more "natural" in my approach I am changing the way I interact with girls and guys so I'm looking for new ways to go about things and just try some stuff out.
