How do you tell a girl that you are POLYGAMOUS?

I just told this girl that I was polygamous, and it sort of came out confusing. I'm going to call back and say something along the lines of:

I just feel that I have a lot to offer, which gives me the ability to have more than one partner. However, I am really picky so it's not that I just hook up with random girls every weekend. I just feel that if there are multiple girls that I fancy, then there shouldn't be a reason why I should limit the amount of girlfriends that I can have. Instead of just choosing between two, I feel that I can have both.


How about you guys? If we can get some responses ASAP it would be great, for it would help me out pretty well.

I'm especially looking forward to Karea's answer.

I don't think you should ever explicity state it.... what's your motivation for doing so?

I'm always straight up. "I don't want anything serious right now. I'm just getting out of a bad relationship and all I want is good feelings, good cuddles and good sex." Sometimes this results in truly wonderful women chasing me, even when we both know they shouldn't.

When I succeed with a beautiful woman, I succeed in a big way. I can't explain it. But it does guarantee a certain measure of success for my straightforward approach, because when I actually get far enough with a hottie to say something like that they're already totally in love with me.

I recently broke up with a gorgeous blonde. I met her friends in November and, after, her girl friend asked her if she ever worried about me cheating on her. Gorgeous blonde's response: "He promised me he wouldn't cheat on me until after New Years." Her friend was shocked and appalled, but by January was singing my praises because of all the ways I was a great person for gorgeous blonde to have in her life. I think I included this paragraph because it's just a nice memory.

The straightforward approach works for me, even for girls who don't just want a one-night stand.

Yeah, this is awsome dude!

I agree with you here. Nowadays, I try to be as straightforward as possible too. This is refreshing and surprising to alot of women. If by chance they don't want any of it, that's okay, maybe were not looking for the same things which avoids alot of unesecary drama and wasted time.

I think stating that you're polygamous is a bad thing to do. It's not bad to be polygamous, but it just has a bad connotation associated with it. Society labels it as a wrong or bad thing, and since most people don't really understand it, they just label you when you say you are. It's like saying your a Star Trek geek or something. Not to put them or any of you down, but if you say you are something and it tends to have a negative connotation, you just have to work that much harder to "redeem" youself in a sense. Hopefully that makes some sort of sense.

I like how Smashbug said it, because he beats around the bush, which in this case is the word Polygamy. And since he said it in such a blunt, but well worded way, women will like it. Who the hell doesn't want good feelings, good cuddles, and good sex? If you don't, then why are you reading this?

Just some of my thoughts.

Like Jax said, there's a lot of bad associations with polygamous. Mormons, Muslims fascists, ancient history, etc.


I think you meant to say polyAMOROUS - Multiple LOVE

Polygamous - Multiple MARRIAGE

I think you're better off referring to Polyamorous in the third person, instead of flat out saying that's what you are. At least for starters. Stop describing yourself, just talk about how some guys are effective at Polyamorous and then she'll associate that with you. Then go direct.

It's a bit awkward and random to say "I'm polyamorous" out of the blue.

declare nothing

but live everything. To tell all is boring and not a challenge, to make her squeal with pleasure and wish upon a star that you will call or ask her over again is power. ALWAYS leave her wanting more, even after hrs of pleasure. Whisper in her ear the killer of all hooks and pat her on the ass as you send her away, making her dream of more of that pleasure.

When she asks to be monagamous then embrace her and kiss her telling her she is the only one you are thinking of tonight. Make her think of sex as physical pleasure not a spiritual bonding, then you can move her to your lair of a FB.

Some will only accept monagamy, others will roll with the sensuality, learn how to embrace and make her embrace sensuality. This is a real challenge, one that takes time to master.

Once you make her the prize(the one up) then you have lost, it is a struggle, keep her at arms length and do not fall in love/lust etc, keep your emotions under control, then you can control the emotional state of the interactions. Reel her in, then push her away, please her beyond words then make her guess where you are for a few days.

This is a conditioning process.

good luck

Jeez guys

Polygamy is many marriages at the same time

That word word is like a dagger to her

First of all, I agree with DC, polygamy is the wrong word to use here, as it refers to having multiple spouses. It's illegal anyway in Western society and I'm guessing most of Europe and Asia too (not sure?). Like DC said, polyamorous is the correct word to use.

I've often wondered though. Do girls in general expect you to be exclusive when you're dating them? I can understand the expectation of exclusivity when the relationship has advanced to boyfriend/girlfriend stage, but is such an expectation still present when in the initial stages? Ie. Would they be angered/hurt if they discovered you're dating multiple girls? I don't plan to bind myself to that expectation in either case that early on (I don't see a point to it), but it helps to know if that's what women believe, so I can be better prepared when dealing with multiple girl situations. Any input is appreciated. Thanks.

Adam

Private. You must be a registered member to view this post.

AKM,

I just want to be clear, in your experince what is best the answer if she ask you if are you seeing other women.

Do you simply say "yes there are other women" or do you simply switch to another subject?

Sorry for asking but Im not sure I get this straight.

I know you're asking AKM but here is my response to your question 007: there is no "best" line, just how you shape it for yourself. Trying to memorize lines is bad, because without them you're nothing. Try to look at the lines he was using as examples, take some of them, and rework them to fit you're personality. Hell, even if you tell her, "Yea there are so many others," it could still work depending on the way you said it and looked at her. I think AK, not AKM, said something like, "Yea I have 3 wives on my yacht in the something sea, but the French Riviera is so boring this time of year."

So just take some of the lines you see as examples, rework them to your style or persona, and field test it. You never know until you try!

Actually I wasn't looking for a line, and I agree with you on how things are dilivered. So no lines, I was simply wondering from AKM's experience is it better to tell them straight up you are seeing other women, or to deflect the issue and change the subject. ...Or do you tell her you are seeing other women and then quickly change the subject.

Are there bad long term consequences for telling women that you are seeing other women? Because in one of AKM's thread this was a DVH and even got his woman turned on by telling her there were others and what he did to them. So I'm a bit confused here. Doesn't imake a woman want you more knowing there are others? But yet AKM is eluding to the fact to not tell them. So I am a bit perplexed.

Private. You must be a registered member to view this post.

Thanks AKM, this are some awesome tips.

Act complimented, and "you don't strike me as the jealouse type" are gold!

Not to mention "---your going to have to lay it on the line at one point or another and hope you have the shoulders and cock wide enough to carry the day---" seem like words to live by.

I somehow knew instinctively that if you were ok with it, she would be ok with it too, but didn't really know how to apply it, thanks for sheding some light on the subject.

I can't remember where I heard this but, this is similar to AKM's quote.

Before you can gain anything, you must be willing to lose it all.

I think it was in a money book, but I can't remember.

I like AKM's "qualifier to beat all qualifiers" approach.

In my own personal experience since I discovered SS, I am not having a problem with this issue. Back in the old days (pre-SS) I would probably get nervous and give a straight answer right away, a very compromising answer indicating that I am a one-woman man. Since SS, I don't make that mistake.

My experience lately is that girls come with something like "yeah, I will try not to leave anything personal here [in my bedroom], lest I create some trouble for you" or "can you give me some time today, or are you busy with your other girlfriends?".

Those are baits, and not direct questions. To baits, I don't give answers. I leave it ambiguous, preferably not saying anything at all. I prefer to keep the mystery.

If she asks a more direct question, then I put a serious face and come with "the question is wrong". I don't say anything further. If she asks again or says something like "why?", I just say one more time, but this time with a more marked pause in my voice "the... question is.... wrong". Not smiling or smirking, but being serious. In my experience, she does not ask again, not that day, not afterwards. And everybody happy.

Another thing that is important, I believe, is how one projects the relationship. If you call her all the time, everyday, constantly take her to "relationshippy" activities, then you are sending the wrong message. But if on the other hand you let her call you most of the time; you don't always return her calls; you are not always available when she says she wants to see you; you avoid "date-type" outings, then she, as an intelligent being, will instinctively know that you are not committing. As I've been doing this way (not committing, etc.), I've not had to face this issue much.

My new way of telling them so is to half-jokingly ask them what day of the week they want to be.

For instance:

Which of LaMac's girls would you like to be?

Monday, Wednesday, or Sunday? Because, Tues, Thurs, Fri, and Saturday are all taken.

I deal with multiple relationships by being very careful in the beginning when I get into the relationship. I use to notice I would make the mistake of jumping in full throttle in the beginning of the relationship. I wouldn't call my other girls nearly as much as I used to, causing a little rift between us. Also I would hang out with the "new" girl too much. This caused issues when I would try to hang out with the other girls, because it seemed to the "new" girl like I was taking a step back.
In order to deal with this I have to really watch the beginning of my new relationships. I try to maintain a good distance in the beginning, in order that I avoid the appearance of taking a step back later. I have found that this really helps you keep the momentum in the relationship, which I have found to be very important if you are not in an exclusive-style relationship.
Also, I never directly tell a girl that I am dating others. I am just very direct in letting her know that I am not looking for a serious relationship right now. I make sure to tell them that I love to get to know them deeply, but can't guarantee if or when I will want to take the next step.
One last thing that I have found helpful, is to make some distinct "laws" for yourself that you must stick to. Some of mine are:

1) No girl can stay more than 1 night, unless I am truly in a exclusive relationship with her
2) No girl gets my more than 3 nights of my week, unless we are exclusive.

I like that way of thinking, laws for yourself. I'm curious to know, what happens if you break a law? How do you "punish" yourself? Or if you break a law, in your case at least, do you start to push into an exclusive relationship? You word your laws that way, so I'm just wondering.