Hi folks, I broached the subject already in this thread: http://www.seductionscience.com/forum/7789-karea-whats-your-day-game-stack.html#post57028 but thought it would be better to open up a new thread. Again and again you can read that you should be indifferent, non reactive, having a care-free attitude and so on, on different blogs, in different programms all around the internet, but most shit is only about pretending to be indifferent, not about being real indifferent. So I want just to ask, what to do to be really indifferent towards girls, other guys, strangers, friends, your family and so on? Good things are probably: - Narcissistic Incantations - realising that you are just a man and nothing else or less, no ego involved - to control the thoughts, so that not this happens: Are there any other things to do to becoming non reactive with a small awareness radius? For example a few years ago i started to holding eye contact and to look everybody in the eyes etc. as it is also suggested in the dating comunity. But a few months ago i realized that if you are really non reactive with a small awarness radius and have higher value than you wouldn't really look in the eyes of most of the people, because most people on the streets would be unimportant to you, so why look at them. Like a lot of very beautiful woman are also not looking at most of the other people around them, they are just heading their way... But this is just an example. So what to do to become fully indifferent, non reactive? To achieve such a state: Is this all just about controlling and feeding the mind with the right inputs and to fake it until you really make it? Because if i am always thinking about being non reactive, i am actually reactive, so this hole process must become subconcious to be really indifferent, anything else is just pretending. hope on getting some interesting answers and thanks for reading:thumbup:
I can relate a bit to what you are saying IAM. In High School (aka Hell) I was super reactive. So much so that I somehow inversely became unreactive if that makes any sense. Basically I went from looking for how a girl (or anybody) would react to me (a joke, a comment, anything) to just becoming paralyzed by anything someone said to or around me. I then learned to not give a shit. I like what you said about eye contact. Why look everyone in the eye that you pass on the street, etc? I don't, but I do look everyone in the eye if I am speaking to them or greeting someone, or introducing myself. I don't agree totally with the unreactive part, unless I am misuderstanding the concet. I think it is more about a mindset of not caring about what happens. I think the right reactions, as in you DO something, then the girl reacts to YOU, you REACT by staying chill or flirting is cool too. It's just words LOL To stay chill when I am talking to a girl, I just remind myself that no matter what happens, it will be an epic story. If it explodes in my face and I get kicked out of a bar, thats EPIC. If the girl digs me and we hit it off, thats EPIC too. The worst that has happened to me during the few months I have been at this is a girl's friend cockblocked, and a few interactions fizzled out. Far cry from getting slapped or having a drink thrown at me.:lol: Still though, I occasionally find myself saying things in Breaking Rapport, but being incongruent with my BL, maybe looking towards someone with a hint of approval seeking--as if saying to myself yeah, that joke ruled, I'm the man. Wait, did you guys like it too?... Sometimes I will just do or say something extreme to put the girl on the reactive side again, just to reframe and get myself back in state. Like, tell a really fucked up Helen Keller joke and laugh my ass off about it, and then proclaim how much I don't care if I am the only person who finds it funny...but thats just me... P.S. Thinking about being "chill" or "non-reactive" will most likely make you feel the exact opposite. I try to control my body language, but then get in touch with how I FEEL, standing tall, or leaning back in the chair. Whats the breeze feel like outside? How's the floor feel under my shoes? Am I in touch with what's around me? Sounds like you just need to feel it and do something RETARDED without worrying about it.
Here's some suggestions... - Feeling entitled. If you feel entitled to have the girl, you won't be as reactive. Like talking to an ugly girl, you feel entitled so you're "not trying" and that makes you less reactive. So working on your "sense of entitlement" for hotter and hotter women... - Social momentum / experience. Just going out daily will make you increasingly indifferent. Like visiting the morgue every day, you'll get used to seeing dead bodies and it will stop affecting you. - Dropping your goal to get "a hot chick" or sex. If you stop caring about going up to the hottest girl and instead by sociable with everyone, that will make you unreactive. It's only when you're striving for goals or outcomes (and thus have something to lose) do you get grasping and needy. - Hitting the gym. Getting a good workout pump I've found is pretty good too. The list goes on
Being reactive also comes into play when... You fear losing something You are offended by something You are attempting to impress someone Something shocks/startles/surprises you The list can go on further, but this should suffice for now. I will attempt to give people incredible epiphanies by using simple adages and generalizations to remedy the above list! Yay! Be openly generous to everyone: it creates good karma (whether you believe it or not is up to u), it stimulates positive feelings, and gravitates people and opportunities to you. Also, it's hard to be a douche to generous people. Take life and things less seriously. Adopt a sense of humor. The people who get offended so easily are often the ones most fun to offend. People want to get a rise out of you so they will mess with you indefinitely. Don't try to impress people. Just be. The impressions will follow by you just being you. Everyone forms their own impression of you, so make sure it's an honest one. Problem solved. Accumulate more and varied life experiences. As a result, less things will shock/startle/surprise you. Being indifferent and unreactive TO A DEGREE is helpful. Being completely indifferent and thereby apathetic is not the goal. A truly indifferent person by definition does not give a fuck about anything, including himself.
First thanks for all responses... Jep Expression instead of Impression. Very Good point! I know it's fucking hard to get slapped or anything else by a girl. The worst I experienced up to now was that they said i should go away or they went away... and in this cases i really tried that girls throw me out or that i getting slapped etc. I really think that the movie business is making a very bad job again by planting the fear to get slapped etc. I would say go on, but i fear that the list would be longer than the allowed post length.. ^^ I like your incredible epiphanies! To 1.: this is really a good point. in the past i was more like the guy: this is my stuff, so don't take anything from me, because i also don't want your stuff(so i never took somethin if somebody offered something) but than I realized that by always saying this is my stuff and only mine I send my brain the masage that i don't have enough. Because if you share and are generous you defenitely have enough of anything. So to be generous is really a good thing. Also I am trying to give more and more compliments to people around, because everybody is happy to get a compliment and i think it also makes you happy (it's like this karma thing ^^). But sometimes this is not so easy, because on the one hand people in my area or not very used to give out compliments regulary and on the other hand i think they shouldn't sound like left-handed compliments, so they should be more like compliments because I really want to say them (expression instead of impression). Any hints or tipps to improve giving compliments are welcome. Well just doing it of course helps, like getting out in field, but maybe there are some advanced tipps to spice everything a bit more up. to 3.:jep, i really think this is the thing, just express and not impress And again Jep. ^^ After i posted this post i also thougth that if somebody would really be indifferent to everyone there would be no possibility to be in a relationship with another person(friends, family or girldfriends). thanks again for reading and share your wisdom with me/us ...
Originally Posted by jax I will attempt to give people incredible epiphanies by using simple adages and generalizations to remedy the above list! Yay! Be openly generous to everyone: it creates good karma (whether you believe it or not is up to u), it stimulates positive feelings, and gravitates people and opportunities to you. Also, it's hard to be a douche to generous people. Take life and things less seriously. Adopt a sense of humor. The people who get offended so easily are often the ones most fun to offend. People want to get a rise out of you so they will mess with you indefinitely. Don't try to impress people. Just be. The impressions will follow by you just being you. Everyone forms their own impression of you, so make sure it's an honest one. Problem solved. Accumulate more and varied life experiences. As a result, less things will shock/startle/surprise you. Originally Posted by jax Being indifferent and unreactive TO A DEGREE is helpful. Being completely indifferent and thereby apathetic is not the goal. A truly indifferent person by definition does not give a fuck about anything, including himself. GREAT points made. :thumbup: TM
