Hi Jesse, I have quite a few issues: 1. Self-confidence -- I am skinny (5'8", 129lb) and a lot of girls tease me about this. I also have some acne scars that I am acutely aware about all the time. So, when I meet someone, that is what I always think about. So, what should I say to myself to gain self-confidence? 2. The girl I am trying to date is half my age (LOL). She is 20 and I am, well... Again, I don't know how to go past this age difference. I have gone out with her a couple of time last year, but made no progress. She occasionally replies to my txts (I send maybe 1 per week), but not always. What is a good approach? I am sure I will have other Qs, but this will get me started. Thanks again...
1. Sometimes just getting into a consistent work out routine and exercising regularly will break that negative train of thought. Your insecurity probably has less to do with weight and size than your confidence in your own strength. Size and strength do NOT correlate.
So you're 40 years old and self-conscious of your skinniness. In fact you're so skinny, people still tease you about it. You've had 25 years to figure out that hitting the gym and eating more will very QUICKLY bulk you up. There's about a million magazines, books everywhere on this. I don't mean to be overly critical here, but you're simply not taking actions that you KNOW are pretty basic to getting your life handled. So I am telling you there is a lot of work, time, effort, dedication, and changing your habits ahead of you that you need to make up for these past 25 years of... slacking in your comfort zone? Acne scars can also be fixed / minimized. Even with that, you'll still have lots of inner game and confidence issues to be resolved. But at least it will get you started. On the immediate front, at your age and with your confidence issues you'll need to take a bootcamp with an instructor to set you on the right path, because you probably need shock therapy to bounce you out of your habits and mindsets. By age 40, most guys don't change habits and mindsets easily and it will take more than affirmations. I don't do bootcamps right now (will start again in 2011 though), but I can lead you in the right direction with someone else. Maybe I'm being harsh, maybe I'm all wrong about this, and maybe I'm reading you all wrong; if so, please let me know. But it wouldn't be in my good conscience to just recommend to you to do some affirmations for self-confidence. Probably won't cut it for the change work you're needing. Said with the best intentions of tough love
First of all congratulations on taking a step in the right direction. Many people are afraid of asking for help and allow pride to get in the way of their concerns. It is possible to still pull young girls even in your mid 40s. You will have to work twice as hard though i.e getting into shape, changing all those beliefs in your head etc. I'd recommend working on one goal at the time. Everything is cumulative. Once you have accomplished all these small goals the bigger goals will be much easily reachable. The advantages us men have at this\age are are 1. Older men are much more masculine to younger women as by that age we already have a grip on life and know exactly what we want or we have already accomplished stuff which guys in their 20's have never done. Its like we are an authority figure in their young world and its almost like we are their daddies and they are little girls who still havent found a direction in life. 2. Your 40 years old which means you have 40 years of life experiences to share with someone half your age. Be an older man but be young at heart. Look at all the major celebrities they have hot wives half their age Lee Majors, Harrison Ford etc.
I just got this e-book from Todd. There's a lot of content to it. Much of what he says makes good sense. (naturallyconfident.com) You're on a long Journey to improve your confidence. We, ALL are on this Journey..we must NEVER stop improving ourselves. TM
Whoa, Jesse, go easy on me, will you? Just kidding! Yes, you are right, Jesse. But I have not been exactly slacking off all these years! It is just that I have difficulty to gain weight -- I do exercise regularly, but I need to improve upon my diet (which I have been working on for the past 6 months -- I used to be a sugar junkie -- not anymore). And then, I had regular sports injuries -- torn ligament in elbow, right shoulder, sprained right ankle, pulled abdomen muscles, etc. that put me on sidelines, months at a time. I know, I know, excuses, excuses, excuses. But I am willing to make the change in 2011, and my post was an act of courage on my part to face the reality... Yes, I think that would be helpful. I have to work on my self-confidence (and strength) first. Please let me know if you have suggestions or any concrete plans. A little about myself: Currently, out of job software professional, but not too worried about it, since I am planning to go for full-time MBA in fall semester. Workout wise, I do P90X & Insanity workouts, will start swimming and badminton in the spring semester (Feb). I am in very good cardio shape, just not enough muscles! I plan to gain 20lbs for 2011. regards, anant0
Yes Yes But not easy as of now. But I am going to change this year, so all options are open! Thanks for being honest and make me hear things I don't want to (or rather, chose not to) hear!
Thanks for this hint! Just downloaded and read a few pages. Wow, a lot of nasty and unpleasant work to do, but I am in!
Hey! me too. But i didn't quite realize this fact, until you said this. Yeah from now on I'll be more frank about my problems.
Once a upon a time tieing up your shoe laces was a complex task now its second nature because you have done it so many times your so confident you could do it with your eyes blind folded. Same goes for meeting women. All you need is a road map to follow which Jesse can give you and the drive which is very important.
''Workout wise, I do P90X & Insanity workouts, will start swimming and badminton in the spring semester (Feb). I am in very good cardio shape, just not enough muscles! I plan to gain 20lbs for 2011.'' actually p90x and insanity are both good for losing weight and ripped body but if you are skinny and you wanna gain weight(muscle) check out ( nonsense bodybuilding by vince delmont). good luck
