Lately, I have been psyching myself out over night game. I have listened to all the Inner Game/Night Game lessons, but can't seem to get over a few things. I find myself feeling really lazy about going out at night, for a few reasons. 1) I don't drink alot/often 2) I don't like going out very late 3) I don't want one night stands with drunk chicks 4) It can seem like a chore because I set high expectations for myself. 5) The loud rap/house music ANNOYS THE SHIT OUT OF ME 6) Feel like I am wasting time:thumbdown: It's not that I can't have fun, and haven't had some epic experiences, but there are no places in my area that play low key music for a lounge scene for people my age. Keep in mind, I went out just about every night from May thru July. Although, I probably would not be at the stage I am at now in general, I feel like I have had more tangible success after say, a week of Day Game, compared to a summer of Night Game. I want to meet interesting girls who are appreciative and enjoy the lasting things in life. I do not want to deal with loud music and dancing around and having to over-exude myself. Should I drop Nite Game altogether and start going for walks around the local college campus, seeing who I can find? The more people I meet, the more I feel like I have nothing in common with people my age. I do not understand the House scene, the fixation on Lady Gaga, fake guido fashion, hipsters...I listen to fucking Sinatra, Van Morrison, and Astrud Gilberto on a regular basis. Most people my age don't know what a "fantabulous night to make romance is." All my hobbies and things I enjoy are highly introverted. These are the things that make me COOL. I am just sick of having to explain over and over again to people I meet when I want to talk about music. My personality shines best when I have a girls complete attention, uninterrupted by flashing lights/etc so I can tell deep, engaging stories, and also conect with the girl. However, part of my gripe with Nite Game is that I feel a ton of pressure on my sexual confidence. I believe in myself, I am succesful, accomplished, and stand behind everything I say and do....but, it scares me when I create a ton of attraction in these girls who then expect me to be some sort of instant Sex God. How can I live up to that? I am feeling frustrated, how do I get my Head straight so I can go about this in a positive way? And yes, I am bitching out of going out tonight. Fuck this...I'm going downstairs to drum, then a bubble bath. FML. Ridicule me, I can take it.
to the lady gaga thing: [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_GMgkcc2KM[/media] even if the song is a little to long... to your night game problem. If you really hate night game and are not enjoying to go out at night at all, so that you normally only would go out maybe one time a month without practicing seduction, than i think why are you going out at all at night? Instead of going out every night, go out every day, up to the point where you don't go out at all to seduce, because it becomes a normall habit for you to talk to women if you are on the street.. my two cents
Here's some things I like about night game... For these very same reasons, that's it's loud and distracting with social pressure, most guys can't handle night game at all... as in they COULD do it, but it feels uncomfortable and annoying. So pretty much most of your competition eliminates itself. For a girl to meet a confident guy at night is very unusual, so you instantly stand out. Put in another way, night time has a "high barrier of entry". So while on the one hand it feels like a pain, it's that very negative feeling that makes it so great (weeds most guys other out) if you can get past that and make it fun. Second, all the girls are group together in a small place. You don't have to go walking around looking for them. This saves time, but also allows you to build social momentum. You can open a hot group of girls after being pumped from other sets of girls you were talking to just minutes before. Third, you can get physical more easily. Holding the girl's hand, leading her around the room, massaging her. So you get more instant physical feedback and gratification than during day time. When you do something new, the first few weeks are really exciting. Then you go through a period where it's frustrating and annoying. Then your brain and body adjusts to the new habit, and it becomes fun again. Like playing guitar. The first few weeks it's all inspiration providing the motivation to practice. So you're highly motivated. After a week or two, you realize it's not all fun and games, and practice can be repetitive. That's when most people drop out. But guys who stick with it for 6 months cross a threshhold where they begin to enjoy it again... and you start getting good, and the guitar starts getting you laid! And it's that "high barrier to entry" for playing the guitar that is a *blessing in disguise*. If it were so easy, every Joe Smoe would learn to play and it would become meaningless. As it is, it's sexy because so few guys stick with it or can play. That's how I view night game. In my opinion, you should stick with it
Thanks Jesse and Iam I can see how I can use the "annoyances" to my advantage. I think I am going to wean myself back into Night Game, by having one night that I HAVE to go out on. No matter what. No expectations. I just put way too much pressure on myself. This week, my goal is to go to a campus and also do Day Game. When I wrote this post, I was in a horrible state. To keep you posted on the Gym Girl...I basically ignored the whole 'Freedom From Outcome' shtick...and after I met her, and we had some playful texts going, I allowed myself to think about her WAY TOO MUCH. I spent the past 4 days struggling to get out of bed. I could barely eat. I lost weight and could not get anything done. I thought I had some type of stomach problem, but my instincts were telling me this was 'girl related.' She called me and we had a good chat, and I felt alot better but.....It scared the shit out of me that I had such a ridiculous over-the-top emotional response to a girl I just met. It was a nightmare and was pathetic. However, once back in state, I re-read some old threads and used it as an opportunity to learn. I stood around my room shouting, "I'm the fucking MAN! I'm in CONTROL. I accept my actions!" I now have the mindset that she still needs to impress ME. And if anything, I have a much deeper understanding of FFO. I am taking today to get work done and eat and not have panic attacks LOL. Not going to look at my phone either, not calling or texting any girls. Time to get back on the horse:thumbup:... [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDKxUt9UkmU[/media] P.S. Music has never gotten me any action...LOL
Ha ha you developed a "crush". That's expected on your first semi-successes with hot girls. The more you can pull yourself out of it, the better because it will taint all of your actions. For example, instead of taking chances and leading, you'll start playing it safe to "make sure she likes me". Or you'll start getting nervous around her. Girls can really pick up on that, so even if you have trouble eliminating it completely, you'll want to work on minimizing it as much as possible. The more experience you get too, the less you'll feel it.
