For me, there is a thin line between playful banter and becoming "the entertainer," a line that I seem to overstep or prance around during any interaction with a girl (or anyone.) I am well aware of the fact that HOW you say anything is much more important than what, and that BODY LANGUAGE (non verbs, eyes, etc) will do most of the work. However, when all is said and done, how do I demonstrate some form of substance in an interaction while I'm busy teasing and touching? For example: I had a party last night at my apartment for a friend's Bday. I chit-chatted with the four girls I was interested in, but sometimes I just get this vibe that I'm being too playful or am coming off as a bit of a jackass. I do have a serious habit of misinterpreting things and assuming the worst. While I was talking to one girl, and being flirty and telling a story, I could see another girl I'm friends with eyeing me and talking to one of my friends (seemed as if they were talking about me.) Most of my friends are either complete naturals or inept with women, and I get this feeling that whenever ANYTHING comes out of my mouth, because Im a funny guy, everyone misinterprets my playfulness as some kind of needy act or just goofing off. And out of everyone in our group, I'm known as a bit of a "wild card" or "mr.smiley" LOL A girl I am friends with told me I am unbelievably pompous sometimes. I managed to have one halfway decent interaction with a really, really hot girl who, had this been a year or two ago, I would've totally been diagnosed with oneitis or a case of the needy-needies. Anyway, she is a close friend of a close friend of mine, and she has been in a LTR with a close friend of my close friend if you catch my drift. But I DO NOT care about that (my friends DO tho... effing cockblocks haha)...since I don't know her well. She was getting up to get something from her black leather jacket on the chair across from me. I opened with a playful observation on the fly (my brain must be doing something right because I have been slacking on my cold approaches...) I said something like, "hey! what are you doing with MY jacket!? How did you know I had gum in there you troublemaker!? " As I said this I smiled and stood up from my seat and got close to her. She told me about the jacket and how she likes fashion, etc, etc. We talked for a while and all I did was tease her and I was surprised at how long I kept it going because she is a very, very shy and reserved girl. Anyway, I had her giggling the whole time and she was fully open (Body L) I kept thinking to myself riff riff RIFF last word...LAST WORD SHE SAID GO! GO! JOKE ABOUT IT! TOUCH. it was pretty easy. She was playing with her hair as well and we were standing about a foot apart so I kept leaning back and away, and then back in to create more tension. I also had CONFUCKINGCRETE eyecontact, which may have made her a bit uncomfortable as I don't think she is used to that. I think I do too much of the "sex gaze" and not enough of the "Im IN LOVE with you gaze." While we talked she would sometimes re-adjust her dress, which kept falling off her shoulder and showing her bra strap/ neckline. I teased her about how she couldn't find clothes that fit, but I took this as a bad sign. Is that bad? It wasn't some uber-slutty outfit but a pretty much normal top. I had fun talking to her, but couldn't help but feel that I was just bantering at her. I had her laughing probaby harder than she had ever laughed in her life, but at the same time I was worried about carrying the sexual undercurrent. Do the Nonverbs basically take care of that or is there some point before isolation (which was not possible for this case) that can have some sort of human substance even if it is still funny? Part of the problem with shooting the breeze is that it can blow you back to where you came from.
It's from The Doors, TM. Light my Fire Yo Sandee, I have Jesse's gear and am currently taking on as much of it as possible. I just got it maybe a few weeks or a month ago. I feel that just being social to absolutely everyone when I'm out and about, not just at bars or with friends, is making a big difference in my overall comfort with "game." Always improving, keep going forward.
Making a hot girl laugh from your bantering is a huge ego boost, can make you feel on top of the world... but it will not get you laid. Unless you're getting physical with her, nothing is going to happen. Because you're funny, kind of like Chandler Bing from that show friends. But there's no real hard, sexual attraction happening between the two of you. She's not going to be waiting anxiously for your call, if it's all just talking, no matter what you say. Conversational-based game is way overrated. You simply will not get laid with hotties that way. There pretty much MUST be physical touching going on. That you're not afraid to just touch her conveys a million positive, alpha, bad boy qualities to the girl, and just being touched makes her physically get hot, hot, hot. Even something simple like poking her, reading her palm, pulling her by the hand into you and pushing her away... that's where the seduction is. The bantering, riffing, talking, etc. is just a pretense to be touching her, that's it.
