A thought struck me today. In my experience, every woman I have ever scored with in my life was overtly attracted to me and responded to forms physical affection without reservation from the outset. All women in my past who were reluctant about being phyically affectionate from the outset have always turned out to be a waste of time, and ended up refraining from sexual involvement. Has this been true for some of you? If this is true, then it is good to try to be physically affectionate soon. Why? It will force her to come to terms and decide how she feels about you. In other words, she will discover whether or not she has any chemistry for you. If she finds she has no chemistry for you, then she may immediately decide to never date you again or return your calls. But this is actually good because it saves you from wasting time on someone that will not go anywhere. Women often seem very content to waste a lot of time with guys they will never sleep with. One woman I did get to bang repeatedly confided in me that she found herself spontaneously resisting expressions of physical affection from many guys she had no attraction for. But with me she found herself immediately craving the physical affection. Ultimately it led to a sexual relation for us. This brings to mind something I heard one guy say who had a lot of success banging girls. He said he always brought up this conversation: Guy: "Have you ever dated a guy that you have no intention of ever having sex with?" Girl: "Yeah. I have." Guy: "Well I never date a woman who I don't want to have sex with." Girl: (Surprized; maybe shocked by this.) Guy: "If you have no sexual chemistry for me, we might as well call it quits today . . . I'm not interested in dating a girl who doesn't have any sexual chemistry." I also heard another guy who banged a lot of women say something similar. And he was just an average looking, short guy (but he did have a successful business). He eventually married a RED HOT girl. He always made it known to girls he was dating that he was not going to continue dating if there was no sex. He full-blown challenged them on that. And he kept his word.
That was a good point to make, Player...determine if she is attracted to you. My belief is, ALL women are attracted to me. But, there are some women who just seem to be turned-off to me for some reason/s. The women who are attracted to me, (and me to them), does NOT mean that we are GOOD for one another, though. TOUCHING and showing affection towards a woman is a VERY good way to determine if she is attracted to you. This MUST be done as soon as possible. I mean, as soon as you meet them. Continue to do this! TM Note: Be friendly and flirt with ALL women! Your behavior will become a belief.
I lead a delusionally self-centered lifestyle and am a chronic overgamer LOL (...got some work to do...) If a girl so much as smiles at me, I believe she is totally interested. Keyword is BELIEVE. If girls are always touching you/showing interest as you meet/interact with them, I would say it is a go. This is as long as you have NOT been "friended" yet and she isn't like, "ohhh you are so super sweet, let me cuddle with you because you are so niceeee!" You get the idea. I like what your friend says to girls he is seeing, I am assuming this is in the early stages of a relationship/prescreen?
I had a 3rd date with a really hot woman recently! Wow! An awesome body! And a somewhat attractive face. I had her at my home and we ate dinner and watched a movie. She is an emigrant from China. The challenge is that the culture of China is extremely sexually repressed. Typically, such emigrants will refuse all physical contact except a brief hug. Tonight she let me cuddle up with her. She drank some wine and got sleepy and laid away from me on the couch. I asked if I could rub her back, and she indicated she would like that. So I rubbed her back and ran my fingers through her hair. This went on for 10 or 15 minutes as the movied wrapped up. At the end I started to slip my hand under her shirt to rub her back. She immediately pulled her shirt down, got up and said she had to leave. She has never been willing to kiss me. She pretty much rushed to her car and didn't so much as give a hug good bye. ALL women I have ever had a sexual relation with have never resisted any physical affection. Based on that I, I think she is not attracted to me. I phone her the next day. I reminded her that I had asked whether I could rub her back and that she said that would be good. Then I told her that I started to put my hand under her shirt to rub her back when she pulled away abruptly. I appologized for that and said I should have asked her first. She then softened up and said it was OK. [My lesson here: It is good to address problems that come up. I think the appology helped too.] After that was done there was no doubt that she was not offended. She then began to grill me with questions about how much retirement income I will have. Apparently, she is very fearful about her retirement. I have decided that she is not attracted to me, and that she is mostly seeking retirement security (marriage?). So I have decided to stop dating her. Here are some lessons from this experience. (1) Be aware when dating emigrants from China that they are culturally VERY SEXUALLY REPRESSED. This woman openly admitted to me that her culture did not permit her to be phyically expressive. Even in the privacy of my home she was bound up by this cultural taboo. (2) I think deep inside a part of her enjoyed my caress. But she herself could never reciprocate it by expressing physical affection herself. (Sad, isn't it?) (3) Overall, I think she is not attracted to me so I do not intend to date her anymore. The good news is that I was able to confirm this after just 3 dates. Therefore, I did not go on wasting more time with her. I think this is another example where being physically expressive to the woman and then monitoring whether or not the woman reciprocates is a potent indicator to ascertain whether or not the woman is attracted. If she is not attracted, it is better to find that out sooner rather than later, after wasting a lot of time and money on her.
That was another good expression of your experiences, Player. I was trying to remember what we talked about before. I looked at your previous posts. Then, I remembered. I wrote: "player_m; I see you as being in a difficult situation: Losing your job, being divorced and taking care of your mother. All of these things will cause you to have a lowered self-image. (Taking care of your mother is an important thing to do for her. She raised you and now it is your turn. But, I still think that it is this "role reversal" that is difficult to accept for an off-spring. You, also, know that her time on earth is not infinite. Being a care-taker is not considered a highly valued job in the USA and little support is available.) One BIG mistake that I made was to think I can take care of my mother and I didn't need any support from other people. A book was written, "The 36 Hour Day". It described how difficult it is to take care of a parent. It should be still available for you to read. I know, I'm not boosting your spirits. I think that it would be important for you to take good care of YOURSELF. Get enough sleep, eat good meals, I see that you exercise, GET-OUT more and do the things YOU enjoy doing. I'm not sure if this helps. My point here is, having a good self-image of yourself is very important. Women will easily pick-up the image you project. TequilaMan" I have had little or NO experiences in knowing women from Asia. The same thing is true with women who are Latino. It seems like you are attracted to women from China. It MAY seem like some women are sexually repressive due to their culture and religious beliefs. I believe, that almost ALL women can be VERY sexual in bed. It's up to the man to bring-out her sexuality. This means, she must, FIRST, have TRUST in him and he MUST treat her with RESPECT. Women are much more sexual than, men. The woman must feel SAFE and TRUST the man, first. See my thread: Truisms About Women If you want to continue to pursue women from China, I believe, it is possible to be sexual with them, without, being married to them. I would, also, recommend that you become familiar with a womans' sexuality. See my thread: Types Of Orgasms a Woman Can Have TM
Thanks for your reply TM. I'm amazed that you recalled a former post from quite a while ago. In fact I have been fighting off some poor self-image thoughts lately. Ideally I just need some success to turn that around. However, I know I shouldn't rely on external circumstances, but it will sure help when I start making some money and have some new success with a reasonably attractive woman. Within the past year I have dated some very attractive women, but nothing came of it and I was too busy with college to do much. (That has been a big hinderance: being too busy with college and now with making some money to make ends meet.) At the moment a of couple women that most guys would not consider to be attractive have shown some interest in me, so I'm just going with whatever comes my way. Even some success with them would probably help. I think you are right that women must first trust the man and feel safe with him before they can open up themselves. Regarding women from China, they are not a special preference for me. It's just that some of them have been willing to get involved with me. At the moment I'm just going with women who are willing to get involved with me. An analogy would be like taking a job you don't like, and once you have the job you can keep searching for a better one.
Player- I had to go back to your posts to remember what you and I, said. I, just, enjoy being around women and being friendly and flirt with them. Even, the ones that I am NOT attracted to because they seem unhappy, etc., I will STILL show interest in them. (To go any further with them would NOT be in my best interests.) I have noticed that the more women that I talk to and get to know, the better my skills with them, become. Women, seem to, have this drive to date as many types of men, especially, when they are younger. One of the biggest motivational drives that I have is to: Teach or show women the different types and quantity of orgasms they can have. Based on, Sandees' last post, I can understand what Sandee was saying. My threads, "Truisms About Women" and "Types of Orgasms a Woman Can Have", are based on beliefs and knowledge. They are NOT about taking the initiative and being BOLD with women. That was a point well-taken, Sandee. (Adding more info about being bold, breaking-the-rules and taking the initiative in, "Truisms About Women", would be a GOOD idea.) TM
