Hey guys I've been out of the game for a while because of a relationship, and I'm slowly starting to get back into it listening to Jesse's NSMC, etc. I was with friends at a lounge Friday and met a girl (friend of friend), we talked and connected for a while, danced, then we started to make out. We were talking, hugging, laughing and teasing/making out for a few hrs. I got her number in between after she took my phone and put it in, then checked her own phone to see when I dialed her. Here's the issue... She was a cute girl and I really liked kissing her and talking to her. BUT, I know I shouldn't have made out with her. Jesse says in his program that they are more likely to flake later if you make out. So nothing I could do at this point, so here's what I did and hopefully people can give me advice on what I did wrong or need to change, and the best way to move forward. 2 days after I met her at hte lounge, I called her up in the evening. No answer, and since I'm so used to not leaving people voicemails I completely forgot to leave one. So I txted her a bit after (around 9:30pm), and here's what I said : Text #1 Hey cutie It's Eugene...remember me? Text #2 Kinda miss those eyes think of anything interesting yet to tell me? P (we joked about her eyes a lot when we talked, and the interesting comment was how she couldn't think of anything interesting about herself to tell me) This was last night, and so far I have no response. If it's a lost cause it's a lost cause because I made out with her so much the first night we met, but I was hoping Jesse and some other people have some pointers on the best way to approach it from here if I don't get a response from these texts, or if calling then sendin 2 txts is bad in general. Or I'm overthinking things : ) What to do??
Hey man, this reminds me of me LOL It is good that she is a friend of a friend, so you don't need to go too PUA. Worst case scenario invite her out later with the same group of friends. I think the texts, and two in a row + phone call was bad. I would have texted her the day after you met just to say "had fun with you." Texting her something like "i miss your eyes" or "hey cutie" is probably not that good of an idea. Wait a bit, text her again. Invite her out. Either way, be glad you had a fun night out and made out/ met a cute girl. Thats an accomplishment in and of itself.:woot: Also, to cut back on the make out+flakey BS, I would say something along the lines of "I can't just be some guy you meet at a bar...give me your number" then set up future plans. Reframes, and lets her know you want to see her again. Good job tho!
Thanks. Maybe I should have cleared up friend of friend. It was more like her friend is a friend of my friend, etc. So I can't really invite her friend out since I don't know her. And when you say wait a bit, how long do you normally refer to? A few days from now? A week if she never responded to my first txt? Anything in particular that you like to say if a girl doesn't respond to your first txt? I know I should probably just let this on go and learn from my mistake of making out, but I just really wanted to see her again because she was so adorable and fun. : )
Umm, just text/call whenever you get around to it. Don't forget that if she doesn't respond, she may actually have other shit going on in her life too, although it sounds like she feels like a slut. Again, you made-out and seduced her. Pat yourself on the back instead of worrying. To text her, you need to send her something about plans to meet up ---no cutesy-beat-around-the-bush BS. If she blows that off, follow with "Hey xxxx sorry you were to shy to meet up, thought u were a cool girl." credit AKM It assumes she was too shy to meet you, which may be the case, or its a neg and should pique her interest. I have used this to turn around a date with a model two weeks after she blew me off. (I still ruined day 2 tho...LOL...by CALLING TOO MUCH)
Doesn't Jesse say not to make plans through txt but to call instead? So don't see how I can do that... I'd have to txt her again at some point I guess, I'm just not sure what to txt if she ignored my first txts. Any suggestions and what types of things work? And I don't think the "shy" thing would really work here but I could be wrong. It's not just some girl I met then asked for her number. It's a girl I basically made out with for like 2 hours, grabbed her ass, she was kissing me everywhere, etc. So she knows I don't think she's shy lol...But I don't know. Just want to know that I'm giving myself the best chance to get her to respond now or later without making my txts ackward, and if she's doesn't go for it, she doesn't go for it.
Hey Eug, Jesse is the expert here but based on experience and you remind me of me, is to NOT analyze this girl.. This is subtle but it is an inner game issue, you are EXPECTING results here rather than take your momentum and keep gaming.. I'm assuming you are at a stage where you're putting emphasis on this one girl.. If one day you fee like it while you are out or maybe just bored give her a call , if she ignores then move no big deal ( don't read into it too hard).. The more girls you meet the less you will be analyzing a particular one.. Again Jesse is the man her but based on his teachings I would say stop analyzing and start being social.. Remember payers don't really care or put too much effort in just one girl.. just keep going out, shit make out at will if you will ( just stop analyzing).. Just enjoy and quiet that inner I need to get results on every girl voice.. And eventually once your that social guy, this girl would be calling you instead of the other way around because she will feel your positive energy.. I'm also intrigue about what Jesse has to say here..
She probably feels that you're "the makeout guy" from the club and less like a real person she connected with. Did you guys do much rapport-style connecting and sharing? If not, she's probably thinking you'll just bang her if you meet up with her again. That's all speculation, because I don't know what's going through her head. But it could likely be that. Your texts are very much seeking rapport, with that "please respond please!" vibe to them. If that didn't work, you could try a PUSH. Text her, "Fuk you" or "you suk" and see if that provokes a response. No guarantees there, that's more of a test to see if she'll respond to that sort of thing, it if makes her curious and if she responds better to guys that don't chase. You could leave a curiosity hook phone message like, "Oh my god LOL, I was watching television and I saw this actress that looks EXACTLY like you. You'll never guess who it is. >Click<." Don't even mention this girl's name, just call her up like she's your girlfriend, extremely CASUAL. That's another way to go. There's no surefire "magic pill" method to save this, you'll need to just throw stuff out there and see if she responds to any of it.
Hey guys, thanks for all the replies it helped me get a feel for things. The funny thing is, I already knew my state was fucked after that night. I knew because I didn't care about anything that whole night, but the next day I kept thinking damn..I had so much fun making out with this girl. And I knew that when I called/txted her I was coming from a needy state, not from a "I don't care I'm having fun state". So now that some time has passed and I don't care as much I'm thinking of what to do. Sandee, you say to call but remember that I already called once and she didn't pick up. If I call again and she doesn't pick up, what do I do? Just leave a msg? I can't call her and txt after that again like I did last time...I don't think. And if I do txt her...should I just txt her and do what Earl said, something like "Hey Mia...sorry you were too shy to reply, thought you were a cool girl". I gotta be honest I don't like that txt..but earl says AKM thinks its the way to go sometimes. Jesse def gave me some perspective on my txts. I didn't realize they had such a "respond please!" vibe to them. He had some interesting strategies as well lol. I feel like I'm stuck. I realized...I should have just txted her casual the day after and said something like "had fun with you yest". Live and learn I guess, just have to think of which way is best to go now between calling or txting, and what voicemail to leave if she doesn't pick up??
It's tough not to care, in the way thats "hot." I was in bed trying to sleep, thinking of ridiculous unrelated drivel, and thought of something that I think is hilarious. It will either be awesome or completely ruin it with this girl, but whatever, she hasn't reponded to you yet right?? Here goes... Text her at like 1am, Christmas morning, telling her you "omg" saw reindeer and heard Santa's sleigh on your roof. Hell, I'm gonna do that with some people just for my own amusement. LOL This is supposed to be really, really stupid. But if it works, you'll get a good laugh out of it so why not??!!
Ok, so funny update on the situation! Haven't txted her since the first time 5 days ago. Tonight I realized I didn't really care anymore, but didn't quite want to let it go, so I sent her a simple txt I was happy with : "Had fun with you last week" 15 mins later she replies! "Loads of fun. I'm not interested though sorry". My honest intuitive thought when I read that said...thats weird, I really didn't expect her to say that. I didn't know my phone was on silent, because a minute later...she called. But I missed the call! I call her back 5 mins later, she doesn't pick up. Then I look at the txt again and realized, she was incredibly sarcastic when we met and said stuff like that the whole night, jokingly and putting her head into my shoulder laugning when she said it. So I realized...she's probably joking, I don't see any other reason why she'd call me right after. So I txt her back : "Lol...You're cute". So far no reply! I was feeling fine but now I'm tense again...I don't know what to say? Do I say "Come out tnight I'll be in the city", or "You ever going to pick up when I call? : P" I honestly don't know what to reply. Maybe she's mad because she thought I took her txt seriously and didn't pick up when she called? Lol..I don't know what to do! Just when I figured I'd just send her some light txt every few weeks this happens, and now I'm stuck? haha...
Isn't it amazing how a girl can send one simple text and it does all this to you(us/guys)? Makes you post a bunch on a men's forum, where we all try to sift through the confusion, making you second guess yourself at every turn? This is what you need to be doing to her. Sarcasm thru text SUCKS. Things can easily be mis-interpreted or taken wrong. I'm glad that she responded to you now, but she OWNS you. You are way too worked up over her. Maybe she was taking a dump when you called her? Be blissfully ignorant...her phone could have died the past 5 days right??? (LOL) Do not tell her she is cute. That only rewards her shitty text/call response and her inscrutable/sarcastic temperment. Now just get her ass on the phone. Call her today, tonight, tomorrow, from a bar, from home, 200 times in a row, once & hang up. Doesn't matter. Just stop giving a damn. Note: I am glad you are posting all this, as I am learning alot about myself and Game and what I would do/have done in certain situations comparable to other members.
I think...had she not called and I missed the call, I'd be feeling fine right now and you're right...it's crazy how my emotions were fine and now they're kinda not. I know I'm overthinking/overanalyzing, but I may as well break it down out loud : When I txted her "had fun with you last week", I was in a great state. After her missed call, my call to her which wasn't picked up a little after, then the txt that I sent "Lol..you're cute", was not from as great of a state. Yea, she does own me right now. It's my friends birthday in the city, and the same friend that knows her friend...is promoting..so since I'm going anyway, I just txted her 30 mins later saying : "I'll be in the city for friend's bday and free drinks...come out tnight" It's true, and I remember she loved the free drinks last time. I don't know about calling her again, if she thinks she owns me now (which I don't think she has a reason to think yet), she'll know she owns me if I keep calling. I don't know what possible explanation to make of her calling me a few minutes after her txt, other than she was joking with that txt. Why else would she take the time to call me if I didn't call her, and all I did was send her one txt in the last 5 days? If she doesn't respond again, either I'll take it that she was serious, or I don't know what. But either way, I don't think I'm going to msg/call her again today. The balls in her court right now. Tonight it's time to get my emotions in check and try to do my thing without thinking about her and this situation lol. : )
