New Situation

So that last girl eventually stopped communicating to me after first date.(you know ignoring txt etc) I'm cool with it now, as can be.

My new situation. There's this girl in one of my classes(high school). I have a bit of a crush on her. I having trouble approaching her. yes I'm shy but I know I could hopefully(thinking about it most likely/~definitely) man up when it counted.
I sure she caught me staring at her. Sometimes I wanted to get caught. Maybe I creeped her out, doubt it but maybe. Problem is I swear she avoids eye contact with me. When I say "hey X" she doesn't say anything. She could have not heard me but I speak rather loudly(or just regular loudly) and energetically with a smile.
It definitely makes approaching hardier.

WTF is going on? any suggestions about what to do?


Thanks,
Nigel

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Hi, Nigel;

I'm glad you want to learn how to be confident and be successful with women.
My first suggestion is to learn Body Language. 80% of your communication is through Body Language. Click-on this thread: Body Language.

It took me several weeks to understand the meaning of Body Language. Let us know how it works for you.

TM

Thanks for the advice guys,
Just got some new info the day after I posted. I drove home this dude I'm cool with, whom happens to be very close with the girl to whom I'm referring to.

Didn't see her that day, we had a special school event. Thus some classes didn't meet.

He knows I like this girl, he asked me do you still like X.

I replied, "yes, you know man but I'm really shy."
(part of the reason I told him is in hope he relays this info to her.)

He told me as a response. X told me like 2 days ago, about how she likes the same sex.
(Something was off, his tone was weird and hesitate)(I felt he was lying that's what my intuition says)(he's really quite feminine so him liking her is not of my concern)(I guess part of the reason is one day in class I swear she was giving me serious IOIs from a slight distance , 14-20 feet maybe,.)(mostly my intuition/heart which I've learned to listen to very attentively)

None the less my atrraction hasn't subsided, maybe increased.

So, I'm still gonna attempt to "make my move".


PS: Definitely gonna work on my Body Language.

Peace

Appraiate all the help, Jesse

Yeah, thanks for the post though I read it before, It has more impact each time re-read.

Your right, it has messed me up my whole life. And I'm real sick of being the ultra nice guy and getting no where.

UPDATE:

We'll since my last post, my shyness has not dissipated with the girl I was referring to previously.

Aside from that.
I attempted to ask this girl to prom, I guess I beated around the bush too much. Then in the middle of it, it felt the attraction fade.
-I'm trying a thing about being radically honest and not caring what people think as a result of what I say- To explain the next part I'll post the conversation as that I remember as so.

I'll do my best to remember it accurately.

Me: SO, X who you going to prom with?
Her: Uh, Nobody. Why?
Me: Cause I wanna ask you but honestly I'm kinda shy.
Her: Well, Whoever I go with gonna(or gotta) be my boyfriend.
Me: Uh, honestly I never had a girlfriend before, always been to shy.
Her: Really?
Me: Yeah, So if I wanted to become your boyfriend how would I go about that? Like if I wanted to ask you out or something?
This is about the part were I felt the attraction kinda fade/fading.
Her: Well, you know just have confidence. *while walking away towards door*
Me: Oh, ok confidence huh.


So right now my need to to find a prom date.

Prom is April 15.
I won't get back to school til March 21.

So right now my focus is on finding a prom date.

Thanks for asking
I appreciate all the help, Jesse.
And everybody who responds.

P.S. I went to walmart the other day. Man I tell you that was my place. I wasn't shy at all about asking for help. And people legitimately wanted to. Man I tell you, I felt so comfortable talking to strangers. I can't explain the phenom completely but it was a nice first time - that good- experience.

Nigel;

The number of people in this world who are shy and not confident is very large. I didn't go to my prom because of the above reason and because I didn't have a car.
Just by telling your story gets you to open-up and realize you can get what you want..example: Walmart experience. Keep-it-up!

TM

Thanks for support, I really appreciate it, this is more of a update than an question.

These last 2-3 days have been interesting.

On thursday, I was talking to this girl whom I half-way knew. Anyways after so good group convo. there were other girl there too.( no biggy remember this is high school) So, I asked her out admittedly I was nervous and it probably showed. She had a boyfriend( in high school that seems to mean a lot). I said "okay, well I had to ask." She was like "well, at least you tried." I made a joke about something that reminded me about something in the group convo. She laughed and we parted.

on friday, after lunch I was walking back to the classroom. Just had a convo. with friend. I probably said hi's and what's ups to a few people between. Anyways, I was walking when this girl was like "Hi, Nigel". I said "hey, um(maybe silently) it was..."
She said, "(her name)"
Me, "oh that's right wait I don't like ever properly introduced myself."
I shoke her hand saying" Oh, hi X my name is (Full Name)"
then I started to ramble about the nicknames I like to call myself which are spun fro my full name.
Then I said "You know actually I've been meaning to ask you out."
(then I may have said but I forgot or but I haven't really seen you around lately. The truth is forgot and haven't seen her that day yet so didn't remember, hope I didn't say that.)
After that I said, " so anyway Will you go out will me?"(I like my body language at that point but I can't describe it)
She smiled but there was a silent pause.
I continued saying, " do you have a number or something?"
She was like "well, I cant give it to now, (I forgot reason)"
I forgot what I said as result but think it was something along the lines of ,e implying I'm gonna get it later."
We parted and I went back to class then I told this dude about it how i felt.

Alright I didnt get it yet I won't see her again till monday.
The most marvelous part of it all, was my state.
Before that conversation I was talking to male friend but working on that getting out my head stuff so the conversation flowed naturally and it did. I supoose some of that carried over. My state was so relaxed so cool. honestly I didn't know asking a girl out could feel so easy and un-nervous.
Even though I'm describing it pretty well i feel i'm not giving it justice. Perhaps because it was so new to me. Honestly I dont feel like I lost it. I mean I feel like if I was really to go after another girl I could get atleast some of that feeling back. Though thinking annd actually are different things. Perhaps, this is one of those "aha" moments the community speaks about. I hope so but I guess we'll find out whenever.


On Satuday, Today, in fact less than one or 2 hours ago something intersting happened.

At Kroger, I saw the girl whom I first met and was my first date ever who eventually stopped contacting me.
i wasn't sure it her though I had a felling. Honestly, I was nervous about asking " do I know you?"
I think it was mostly beause her mom was there and I would have to engage them both.
I was sure it was her when crossed paths and she kind of looked the other way ,without turning head, to avoid eye contact.
At that moment I couldn't help it, it was to much so I left the building. I got about 20-30 feet from building when I just stopped at laid against a colom.
I turned around the collom( like peeking around) and saw my car. For some reason I couldn't leave, it didnt feel right in my heart. My heart told me something(through feeling), I knew I had to say something. I turned around and entered the building went straight to them, touched her and said "hey do i know you"
After talking with the mom for a bit adnd her at same time.The mom pardoned herself. Me and the girl talked a bit. she said, "sorry, I couldn't get in touch with you." I said, " it's alright, I don't really believe in conwisadence." Told her" about How deeply I've falling in love with the Lord." And sid basicly, "He is the reason for this meeting."
I had no real sttrong strong interest and trying to start something again.
Honestly, even if I did I wouldn't know how.
I told her, "honestly I don't know what to say or do"So I said, goodbye X it was nice seeing you again.
I gave her a hug and left.(we parted)


Truthfully, I really needed that(you know who I thank).
In my mind I couldn't understand why. That was the biggest question, why. I thought she was different from all those other girls who would do something like that. I even defended her in my mind with the defense of maybe she died( obviously I hoped not) but I quickly rule that out as that was highly unlikely. Because I knew myself and I would defend her with some reason. It took me a while to get over it.

I glad it happened. It was good to confront those feelings. After all I going to college in a few months. Part of me still believed she was perfect for me. Not sure if that's entirely gone but the feelings have settled quite a bit if not totally.

I feel like now that that chapter is over I'm ready to conqueror the world.

"I gave her a hug and left.(we parted)".

(It's VERY important to hug women when you say, Goodbye", to them.
Same thing is true when you meet, them.
I, usually, or most of the time, also, give them a kiss on the cheek or forehead.
The intent is to show affection and the possibility of you wanting to be more intimate with them...You are really teasing their fancy.

When you ask a woman to do something with you, have a plan and come-up with ideas the two of you can do together.

Women want to do things that are FUN and unique. (NO boring, mundane and mainstream ideas.)

You can base them on things that you enjoy doing and you will think that it would be a good experience for her to experience.

Get feed-back from her in what she likes to do and do it!

It's NOT advisable to say, "Let's get together and do something".
Have a plan of COOL things the two of you can do.

TM